God's great, beers good, people are freaking morons!

Hello!


Good afternoon people….


A quick post-Christmas post here; so how was your Xmas?

Narcocorrido....move over Tiny

Mine? A blurr…. I drank rum with my ex-wife bf, her and her cousin...lots...Plus food, lots and lots of food! And found out that because the latest drug dealer TV shows, Narcos and Chapo, the bf and me are into similar music: Narcocorridos! Fuck, I wish I could have once met one of those guys and he would have given me like $500k because I was nice to his or her mom…..sigh….I’m allowed to dream am I?

Other than that, really freaking cold and lots of snow so no going out at all….so  as you can see, not much to say from my side. It’s more to say Happy New Year, all the best to you all; let’s celebrate another orbit around that big orange thing that provides us with life. Oh and to the Flat Earth Society people, don’t drink and fall off the planet…That's a bad thing, you will fall forever......


See you next year!


PS My catheter blocked yesterday, almost a year without a problem….

Inspirational moments....Yeah, no, I'm good

Hello!


Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse….Well, it’s a couple of days short but you, who celebrate, get my drift...It’s HoHoHo time. How’s everyone and their mother?!

Couldn't find a Rabbi...

I am a little bit less stressed out, I went out to the shopping center last night in that impromptu mini-storm. I had fun, bought some gifts, bought animal food, then I came back...shitting bricks I may add, it was dark, it was super slippery and I felt insecure about the whole thing. I think that ever since I fell this Fall I’m a wee bit careful when I’m in this demonic wheelchair. It felt like I was seconds away from having an accident, but I’m safe. Nevertheless, the drivers were extra cautious with me, they kept their distance and made sure I got to and from safe; I even think that a car followed me home to make sure.....


Any hoot, it was a quick hello before I have breakfast of champions, eggs, and beans, and before I start meditating or getting drunk; whatever the future holds. But in case I don’t see you have a safe and wonderful Christmas. Or Festivus, or Hanukkah, or Saturnalia, or Winter Solstice….Quansa….Omisoka...Shabe-Yalda…..etc..etc...etc….


Peace! With exploding fist bump….

Googling eyes...

Hello!


Top of Tuesday to you….


Well, I have been locked down in my place for “x” number of days now….Them people can’t clean the freaking path to the sidewalk if their life depended on it. But to be fair here, ever since I fell this year I seem to be a more prudent wheelchair driver. I don’t exactly zoom left and right like I used too; I am more of a measure twice cut once type of dude…

So what do I do with myself to stop me from going bonkers?Well, I got my new Google Home to keep me company. I didn’t buy it, I

bought the Google Pixel 2 for my kid and there was a promo where they would give you the Google Home free. It has great potential but you must spend money to use its full skills; like controlling your home environment and shit like that. So at the present time, I just use it to play the radio and tell me the news...I’ll have somebody turn the lights on and off….


That’s it for me...

Hasta luego plebeyos...

Becoming winter...

Hello!

Crapy crap crap...Courtesy -The Gazette

Well, it was just a matter of time before this place would become white. It’s white and we are expecting about 20cm (≅8 inches). Tis but a scratch….But I already canceled my first appointment of the season, they wanted to change the motors on my wheelchair; I didn’t know there were two… Had to cancel the path that leads toward the sidewalk has not been cleaned yet and no way in hell that I’ll get to there to take the bus.

Other than that…..ummmm, not really much happening….



Lunch break!


Tata folks!

Moirai

Hwello!


….It sounds good okay….


So, here is my week so far….


I got a Google Pixel 2 for my kid

Reading?!

and I don’t know what to think. The voice assistant seems to be far superior to Siri on my Iphone7. I mean, it can read you stuff vs Siri’s annoying habit of “I found something on the web” crap. You can basically ask “Read me the news” and it will start reading the news to you…..Siri?! I have to do the reading… Call me lazy, but a valid scenario would be your driving and you want to hear the latest gossip on Ben Affleck and his new sexual orientation. Google will read the juicy results to you, Siri? It will find a plethora of articles that you will have to go through them….As the lady said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that…” But what really irks me is the fact that when you ask Google to take a selfie or a picture, the phone will actually do it! Siri? -NO-....not now, not ever…. I called Apple directly and they told me it didn’t take the picture; deal with it fat guy!


Ça suce d'être moi…



Arrivederci people!


PS Another kicker from Google? Voice biometrics to unlock the phone and it can determine where it needs to be locked. Ça suce d'être moi encore….

Signs of life...

Hello!


Good day to you all….


So….. I’ve been grounded!!


It is not that there has been snow or something like that, no, it has rained and it’s been cold; home arrest it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been out for medical purposes but it has been relatively.brief, Plus I think I am suffering from seasonal blues! It’s a thing, ok?When you get up and there is a  lack of sun, you kinda get loopy.


-Rant of the day-

Why is it that when you want to make a payment they drill the bejesus out of you?  Jackie Chan is right, who else would call to pay my bill!? “Name on acc. -Postal code -Name of mother -DOB -Shoe size….” Guys, just take my money and b`e happy; geez!






Don’t get me started on how slow Itunes is on Windows 10….

-we’ll be here all day….


Take care folks

Uncertainty principle

Hell -O-!


Yes, it will apparently be hell here today….


The first freezing rain of the season is here and people, old enough to remember, were out and about gathering supplies just in case; just in case. Last big freezing

rain we had, Quebec was in the dark, we lost electricity for about a month. So people get nervous around here with news of that stuff…. 1998, never again!


Needless to say that having gone through that time I too was up and about gathering supplies….I got meat, got bread, got this, got that….got everything. This is the same storm that hit parts of the US yesterday but here we are going to get snow and freezing rain, with the exception that we won’t cry about it because we know how to drive in such weather...so leave it to us Canucks.

Oh yeah, remember that I unsubscribed from all those emails? My email box was quite empty this morning….


Well here we go hunkering down, ready to Netflix and chill. Here’s hoping that we have light and TV while this "bad and mean" storm comes through our town….freaking wussies…


Take care folks...

Samba Friday...

HellOoooo!


Top of the morning to you!!


I am posting early today because it’s freaking cold out there; the only reason.


So being cooped up inside with nothing better to do, I decided to tidy up my place; my electronic place that is. Yes, I went through every single email that I receive, daily, and unsubscribe from them. I’m talking from the NY Times to Tuango (Local deals in my area), bypassing through Gocoupons and P&G. I cannot wait to see the end result tomorrow morning….I feel like I shed 10 pounds….

In other news, I’m probably going to be jumping ship from Apple to Android. Nothing personal, it’s just that my kid screwed her phone, again-she gets this

from her mom-, and I will jump at the opportunity to either get a Pixel 2 from Google or a Samsung S7. I heard the Google phone has the best camera that any cell phone out there but people on the web are recommending the S7….we’ll see...I will keep you posted on this one…you know how photography has become important to me….



Any hoot….have a great Friday folks….


Tchau Tchau...

I chose.....poorly!

Hello!


One for the road, they say….


I cannot lie folks, it has been a very mild Fall so far. Heck, today I went out to the park to “meditate” on what my future is shaping out to be. I also went back on my life and pondered what if I had chosen differently. Where would I be now?! I could have been anything I wanted to be (as that song from the movie say), astronaut, doctor, priest, cop; anything.
And then, just then, when my reflexion had run its course I came
to the conclusion that I would have loved to be a city worker!


Come on! Those guys have it all!! Good salary, unionized, flexible hours; the works! Imagine me plowing the snow away with my iPod blasting cool music as I willingly dump the snow on cars and the citizens can’t do diddly squat about it. That’s the dream…..Yeah, if I would have known that being a city worker was where the fun and money was, I would have studied to become one….sigh…

Are these guys having fun or what?!

Take care people….

Falling in Fall

Hello folks!


...Yes, we are deeply in fall, autumn, the purgatory just before descending that steep hill into winter’s arms…


So how am I doing?

Same old, same old. Going to the supermarket every other day and taking pics left and right. Hell, I even took a pic when I fell. Yup, the wheelchair guy fell in Fall! It was spectacular, I fell under a shadow of a tree, with a slight breeze hitting me in the face and basically not far from immediate help. I called 911 after

That's me on the ground!

a person asked me if I needed help. She basically snapped me out of the dream state I was in; sigh. Do you know how long it had been since any part of my body touched the grass; the ground? More than 10 years! I took the fall as a blessing, finally something out of the ordinary, out of my routine of breathing oxygen in and out.

Other than that?

Nothing big, just a move on the horizon. Changing latitude and longitude will do me just fine...schedule for 2018. I got all the info today and it is something that has now become feasible…




Any hoot, I will write more often; fingers crossed.


Have a lovely day...

Seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position....

Hello!


….Yes, it was a scene of shock and awe!


My doctor came to visit me because, her words not mine, “I haven’t seen you in 2 years and I need to update your dossier” In other words: “I have to justify my job to you”

Everything was same old same old until she asked me if I had talked to somebody about my first line intervention. ???....I answered no and proceeded to ask her wtf was that.  She informed me that it was basically instructions on what to do if I had a cardiac arrest or anything that could TKO me



.
 ….???????.......??????...????.............I answered with a surprised facial expression: “I'M ONLY 49!!! PLEASE  BRING  ME BACK FROM WHEREVER I'M AT!!!” I told her laughing…….nervously….


Geeez, talk about your questions, I’m not like some people I know that dream about going into the eternal slumber head first. Fuck no!  I want to die knowing why I am dying, too awesome, too cool, too handsome; stuff like that. I mean, maybe one day I will change my mind but for now, they can insert a broomstick up my ass to try to reanimate me; as they say: “Too ugly to live too weird to die”...



Adios mortals….


PS I will instruct my older brother (the lawyer) the opposite of what I have told my doctor so they can battle it out...scratch that, my brother would probably win...

Tick tock!

Heelooo!


Well, as promised, here I am!


Another beautiful day in never never land; feels like Summer but as a true Canuck, I know this is just a dream. Winter is coming…..

Getting cloth off will be fun!

It seems that the local clinic is changing the rules. They are going to send me documents providing information on where to buy “Adaptive clothing”. As a preventive measure to protect their employees, they will be requiring that people using their services start wearing this type of clothing. I fully understand where they are coming from, but it is a shocker to people like me that still move when getting help from the auxiliaries. It also hurts the pocket as I have no clue on how much these type of apparels are. And I must admit, it kinda brings me down as I feel my inevitable death closer and closer; I was just starting to have fun.



What a world....what a world...what a world...what a world....


Adios muchachos….


PS,,,, I needed new clothes anyways...

Cockamamy Recital

Hello!!!

Happy middle of September……

I know, I know: “What gives asshole? Why haven’t you posted?” Right? 

Well, it has been one sunny day after the other and my ADHD kicks in quite unexpectedly. But now, we are really coming to the end of things and I will write more as so my hands don’t forget how to type.

I'm the good looking one...

So, did I tell you that I had a Taco bash with my brothers a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, my future partner in crime really knows how to cook and they were impressed. Needles to say that when the evening was over, they took all the leftover food; they took my breakfast and lunch the mother fuckers!!

Any hoot, just a small note to reassure you that I am not dead yet!!

Adios people…...

Boo!

Wall stories...

Hello….


Pleasant Tuesday to you all!



So, it’s true, fall is nipping at our butt quite fast, to be honest. While you were reading that last phrase, I absented myself for a couple of hours because even though I’m single, I still have to go out and purchase the ingredients that my friend needs to make the food. Today we are having quesadillas! Basically tortillas with melted cheese, potatoes, and white mushrooms….with a red salsa made from scratch! It’s going to be epic!!

Taco Saturday coming up...

So as per my last post, I picked up some new hobbies...I took several nice pics if I do say so myself. I have taken meditation and I am eating like a pig; it’s bad, real bad! It’s all the fault of that, that, that Mexican chick who cooks well! Build that wall, Mr. T! Stop those illegal tacos from crossing the border!

Look at the crutch of the guy dead center... 

It was a good summer folks, it is different than last summer but I think it’s a better one….

Any hoo got to eat them quesadillas now!


Take care thespians….

Fata Morgana

Hellooo!


Long time no see!

Well if you don’t know it by now, this is my slow time; it is summer here and I spend my days out there grabbing some sun.


Again, it was summer and I did different things including two bar hang-outs with MS buddies....Them people are "loco" in the Cabeza. Also, I went to the fireworks from La Ronde, Six Flags, and it was awesome; the country I went to see, England,  won the competition.


It seems that summer passes too fast…


The highlight of the season??....umm, let’s see….I can tell you what has happened to me these last days but not over the whole summer….


Just yesterday I almost got run over by a car, and the kick of it all was that he was a disabled person too!! Now wouldn’t that have been news fit to print!? Oh! Something else I noticed over the summer season was that I am a trendsetter!

Summer blues

Yup! I notice that the shopping center, the bank and other places I frequent have started to have more wheelies in their premises….It’s getting crowded! Furthermore, my last bastion of tranquility is being invaded by this kind of people!!! The scoop is that ever since my separation I don’t have anyone to cut my nails, soooo there is this nail salon where I go to have my nails cut. A friendly place where they know me as “Wheelchair fat guy”. Last time I was going to get my nail done and I couldn’t go in because there were already two disabled persons in the premises, and they were both guys!! Fuck!


So as you can see, I had a pretty mundane summer so far and I interrupted my blogging session just to enjoy the sun…..


Take care folks…..


PS….  I tell you later about my new hobbies I picked up and other tidbits, including pot pills...There is also a nice lady staying with my kids and me who is spoiling us with her cooking prowess....kinda like a ninja cook master! Taco Tuesday has lost its meaning to me, my house is now known as "Tacoland" where anything goes between a tortilla.....stay hungry my friends....

Fish Tacos to die for

Compliments of the chef........

Out the door...

Hello….and WTF!


It was a beautiful weekend, beautiful weather so far, and now this!?


It is actually cold out there folks and it will probably rain. I don’t know if we’re going to have a summer this year of if the weekend that just passed was it.


We’ll just take whatever comes our way I guess…

So going off for a visit this afternoon to see the wheelchair guru and see what new toy she adds or subtracts from my chair; chances are she takes pity on me and gives me a new chair altogether but that is dreaming in technicolor...sigh….to dream…


Any hoot just a quick post today….

Yeah, she looks like that

PS I am all happy today I saw the Asian girl I like and she acknowledged my existence by waving “Hello” to me...marriage is next I guess….

The big orange ball in the sky and can we turn it off…

“It's a rainy night in Paris,
And the harbour lights are low,
He must leave his love in Paris,
Before the winter snow…”

Self-portrait of a ghost

 
How are you folks? Me? Never better, huzzling left and right to keep my sanity…


The last couple of days were pitch perfect, they were super gorgeous. Unfortunately, we must pay for them with this week’s rainy forecast starting today.

That phone camera is great...

Yesterday was spent most of my day at the park seeing softball game and napping here and there; not my fault, yesterday the girl that gets me up did so at 8:30… I was tired before I had breakfast at 10:00...Took some pics at the park and took one in particularly of an amazing sunset. It was a great day culminating by the flirtatious seance I had with some cute Asian girls from the building….I always liked Asian women, there is something about them…


Any hoot, I will go about my beeswax and see what to do….Happy whatever you’re celebrating today…



TTYL...

From the chair

Hello….


Happy Thursday folks…..


Well since I am writing is because it’s a gloomy day, so I take advantage to keep you up on what’s going on with my life...or the lack thereof…

This week, two days ago to be exact, I was real busy soaking in the Sun when suddenly a bird I had never seen before in my life flew onto my bird feeder. A Cardinal!! Damn, I wasn’t ready for it! I kept on quietly talking to it beseeching it not to leave yet, that I needed time to get my iPhone so I could snap a picture. Guess what? The father little fellow heard me and stayed put until I was able to steal a couple of shots away….posted them to Facebook just to find out from a friend that when a Cardinal comes by to visit it is someone who has departed to the other side….Almost my mother’s birthday too…..Miss you mom.


In other news….

Well, I’m being bullied! Yup, at the age of 49 I have a bully harassing me when he sees me.

It’s gotten so bad that I hang around another park just to avoid him. He keeps on laughing and saying to me: “You’re so unlucky you cannot walk anymore” Well, he doesn’t laugh and to be honest I was the one who told him I wasn’t going to walk; sure he is only 8 years old and looks like he is not all there, but still not an excuse to remind me that I am unlucky….stupid little kid….


Any hoot, that’s my two cents for the day….


Tally ho….

Sleepymarinkadink sleepynamarinky doo....

Hello…

Hope all is well…


Here I am blogging from the park, enjoying a beautiful day; dictating my blog while people are watching me like if I was some weirdo or someone important.

Another day in the park...

I like to come to the park on Saturdays, any day of the week in fact when it's sunny and the kids are running around, they’re playing and screaming. It reminds me of when I was a kid just like this one coming right now, I used to run around, ride bikes, scream my head off. Furthermore, it kind of reassures me that when I'm gone kids are still going to be 'round here playing in the park, screaming, having fun. Humanity will continue on even though I’m gone... I think this is is one of the best feelings I get knowing that after we move on, there will be somebody left behind; and maybe they will fix these problems we are leaving behind.


[15-minute nap]


Yes, I have reached another stage in my illness where I don't give a hoot where I sleep.


So I dozed off while resting in the shadows just to be awoken by a circle of kids observing me, making sure I was breathing and not dead; believe it or not, it’s not the first time this has happened to me. One of my neighbours went to poke me once while I was “meditating” under a tree….


Gad, I love this job….


PS I probably be baptized into Mormon Hood….why the fuck not, they’re ok and my social life is none existent, so...

Fickling my way to the end

Hi….



Well, it’s been a while and it seems we had our summer already; it snowed today for Pete’ sake!

So why am I writing today?

I don't die, I just transform...

Well, today was a reflection day for me; minus temperatures will do that to you. What did I reflect on? Well, if you must know, I think it’s time to move on, with everything, with everybody. It is not going to happen overnight, but slowly but surely it will happen. Drift apart slowly at the beginning then it will be like a snowball rolling downhill and picking momentum; I will hit something and come to a complete stop or I will roll down until losing speed to my undoubtful inertia. All I know that this is how I feel now, and most likely it will happen…


I feel my life was mapped out before I came into the picture….

Soup stories....yuck...

Hello….

I think I have to change my greeting “Hello” as it reminds me of Adele song “Hello from the other side”; maybe just jump into my post. I don’t know…

So yesterday, thanks to my kids mom's hard work, we celebrated the one year anniversary of my mother passing away by eating her favourite food, Pancita(tripe soup)….yuck! My kids like it, their mom likes it, all of freaking Latin America likes it….except a small bastion still resist this “heavenly” soup…. Stomach lining soup! YUCK!!!!! Why??? They drink this thing as it was a godsend...My mother while pregnant with me would have this day and night with champagne so yesterday to honour her memory, I did the same...kinda. My kids mom saw my distress at drinking the soup so she suggested I made tacos with the stomach lining meat and drink the soup on its own. BEST IDEA EVER! It was good, I think that it is the part of seeing the gelatinous meat in water that makes me go “puke” but put it in a taco and the repulsiveness disappears!


Thanks for the tip….


Take care mortals….


PS I think that putting anything in a taco make everything better...

Shmoozing my life away...

Hello!


Good whatever to you people and what the “F” Mother Nature?????


Yesterday I was wearing Bermudas and a T-shirt, today I got a sweater on, blue jeans pants and shoes; and it still freaking cold out there! Why??? This is all meshuggina….

Tomorrow I will be doing something I haven’t done in awhile` and I don’t know why. I will be going to a Mormon temple for some activity of some sort; why I have no clue. I mean, yes I have a clue but it is nonsense and highly -extremely highly- improbable. I am not a religious person, yet I’m doing everything to fall in their ranks; even reading their scriptures...and I say, they're kinda violent to some point...so I have no clue where this is going to end up...go with the flow I guess….


Ooo look, the sun is poking out, gotta run folks.


Bye people...

The space between...

Hello!


Happy Saturday folks….


I went to the supermarket already, my kid wanted bagels and OJ with lots of pulp….it is the best OJ out there. I know that one of my brothers doesn’t like pulp, he’s a big wuss. But back to my story, so off I went to buy the bear necessities in life; the story is not the buying stuff but coming back; there’s where I have a story to tell.

That's how far...

So coming back I am riding back on a rather lonely street when suddenly, there is a car coming my way (I drive counter traffic to make sure I have a fighting chance). The guy or girl is driving at normal speed, ’bout 30 km/hr -18miles/hr, but once he/she/it sees me….S L O W S to a crawl and goes into the opposite lane to make sure there is sufficient space between the car and me! WTF??!! Just because I’m in a wheelchair does not mean I have slow reflexes, physically or mentally. No!!! I can still drive pretty well, I can make circles around myself! This is not the first person that takes evasive action at the sight of my chair, lots of people leave me the road to myself. This also happens a lot in the supermarket aisles too, I guess people are just being nice to me….God bless them all…


Adios folks...


PS...stupid kid and her tip rules...
PS PS...Maybe I smell....uuummm...

From the sinner's corner....

Hello!


Greetings fellow humans…So what’s up with my life?

Weeellll…. I have been holding a meeting with Mormons again. It’s not about the religion and stuff, it’s just that they send me a knockout of a sister missionary and she could be the one that could break my icy walls down and make me start selling flowers in the airports. I’m gonna go and see them this Tuesday for some church activity; you know what it means right? Yes, cheesecake! Even she told me to bring my appetite and my Mormon book with me. She does not know who she’s messing with… I love cheesecake! Plus, she claims, in a way, that she used to be a caregiver before being a missionary, so she has my full and undivided attention. The thing is that she’s religious and I am not.

I have been honest with her and told her that I just don’t feel it. She tells me to read the Book of Mormons and pray, that eventually, I will find the way. I don’t know, I like my coffee pretty much to give it up because some people believe it is a drug(she’s a drug)….got news for them, next year pot is legal in Canada; guess who already pre-ordered a batch of special brownies?


I think my blog will take a turn for the mellow….


Bye folks...


PS I wish I was normal....

Another empty headed decision....

Hello!


Legacy…..what is a legacy? If we go with a google search: “a gift by will especially of money or other personal property...” Could be anything really….A lesson to which your descendants will do something they do and can pinpoint the origins to you….anything. Now, this question takes a bigger place in your mind as you get closer to kick the bucket….”What am I leaving behind for them to have an easier life than the one I had?” Well. just yesterday I found out my answer.

Anybody that knows Mr. Carlos Guzman knows that when he makes big purchases, he is the one who always buys the “Extended warranty”. Yes, I will dish out the extra cash (or advise someone to purchase) on the extended warranty; just in case. Friends, family, and foes often laugh at me and my ignorance on purchasing such an item. Well, I have been vindicated several times and yesterday was another one of those times.

The tale of the defective dryer!

My oldest was drying clothes yesterday when I suddenly started to smell a plastic rubber smell. Then suddenly, smoke filled the house! FUCK, FIRE! Relax, no, there was no fire. It was smoke coming from the dryer. My night guy was here so he took a sec to inspect the machine and said it was toasted….better get a new one! Fuck, just when I thought that my next free check was going towards the purchase of a drone….. Going down through memory lane I remembered that I had bought a warranty on that sucker so I call the store who informed me that “YES, It’s under warranty!” So they gave me the necessary info and phone number to call for a service call on the dryer!!....

There it is, this is my legacy: Always buy extended warranty; it works!


True story folks, I just got about another year’s worth of drying clothes because ignorant me bought a stupid warranty...

No dreaming beyond this "."

Hello!


Good day folks….

Well, it was too good to be true; I’m talking weather wise. The weather network is announcing a 15 cm snowstorm. Yet, I have not found any evidence on their site so I wish and pray that this is an April’s fool hoax. Nevertheless, next week we will be having double digit temperatures, so it seems that our short summer is coming soon. Other than that, I had minor issues with my door; it wasn’t locking so I slept with one eye opened since the people who take care of the work didn’t seem alarmed by the fact that I could be raped….I know, wishful thinking… I survived, door works like a charm now and I am sleeping soundly.

Okay, just updating you on my systematic life….


Have a great day wherever you read me from...

Don't let the squirrels die...

Hello!


Happy Tuesday and a great end of march!


Why haven’t I posted lately, you ask? Well, I am finally coming out of my place again after the snowstorm of last week...plus I have a lovely story about squirrels and how there is still good people in this world: AKA my derange kid.

Healthy little shits...

Yesterday my kid was wondering out loud, as she always does, many different topics to which I had no answers except my usual “Google that shit”. One of her queries was “Are peanuts good for squirrels?”   Guess what? NO! They are not. They should be eating nuts, fruits or vegetables…. So the dish of peanuts I had outside for the squirrels was quickly replaced with a healthy bowl of baby carrots. I guess everyone except rabbits must have been laughing at us today. I swear, there were squirrels that would come by look at the carrots, then look at me with a “WTF?” face and leave. It wasn’t until I told her to replaced the carrots with peanuts that the squirrels came back to eat…

A+ for the effort kiddo, trying to make squirrels eat healthy will go down in the annals of Canadian history….


Take care folks...

Just another day

Hello!


Good day kind folks…..how’s it hanging??

Well, it has been a couple of days and I have been locked down at my place due to a little storm that just dropped on us disrupting life in general. I mean, schools were closed, people were stranded on the highways for 7 hours or more; they basically slept in their cars until firemen came to help them the next day at 4 o 5 AM! My night guy came and put me to bed at around 11:30 PM, 1 full hour after our agreed time. The worst part, he got home at 3 AM and he lives 5 minutes away by car. I basically spend my day writing a song and doing random activities…


I’m getting good at writing music and stuff, take a peek at what is the first song of my future album:


My song


Take care people….

Dress Rehearsal

Hello!


Happy March!!!

Well it’s the first weekend of March and it is a freezing one. I tell ya, if anybody goin to populate any freezing planets it’s going to be us Canadians; we don’t bitch about the weather like some do, we just keep going. I even wander off to get breakfast for my crew!!

In other news, I have been doing music tracks with this application and uploading them to Soundcloud. This all has to do with my night guy who is pushing me into the music scene once more….Any hoot, check them out at Soundcloud YouTube


Have a good one folks...

The beauty of being a single parent...

Hello!


Good day folks, a very nice day to you all.



I forgot to mention, this week is Spring break here….Semaine de relache as they call it. So I can sleep late at night and wake up late too...NOT!

You see folks, my oldest that has no school has decided to set up her alarm for 5 AM, and since she had read somewhere that to make your body wake up you should put the alarm clock some distance from your bed; so you are forced to physically get up and turn off the alarm. Well, it works, because 5 snooze off later I am up and at’em….My kid? No, she finally turns off the alarm and goes to sleep. I asked her why she put the alarm on and she said she didn’t remember!! Well, at least she will turn it off for tomorrow….sigh….Tomorrow never comes folks, it really never does….Can’t wait for her to have a partner, let him deal with her joyous quirkiness………….


Someone give me a gun please...

And then it hit me…

Hello!


Kedu Ka di?

Oh yes...I’m still in a DNA high, BTW that is Nigerian greeting for “Hello losers”... Nah, “Hello how are you”, I am not that bad...And yes, I’m still on an adrenaline rush because of the results and I am starting to realize what this means.

My night guy brought me a “Kiss me I’m Irish” pin and it will be the first time in my life that I will wear it knowing full well that “I am” freaking Irish!! I mean, there is a whole bunch of phrases that I used to say without meaning anything to me, but now it feels weird because I know that there is part of my heritage in there somewhere.

To add more oil to the fire, my night guy suggested that since I got Irish roots it is my duty to find out what colour is my clan’s kilt!!! FUCK ME!! I never thought of that one! I have to find that now AND… I am going to buy a kilt...plus some bagpipes. Maybe a babban riga too...


OPA!!!

Kiss me I’m Irish; African...Spanish...Brittish...Russian….fuck

Hello!


A glorious day to you all!


Does it sound I’m happy? I AM!!! DNA results are in and they are somewhat unexpected.

First of all, every race you see in the title is part of me. “WTFF?!” I know, what the freaking fuck indeed!! I was dumbfounded this morning, Russian? Finnish? African? I think we pretty much cover the world with the exception of Australia and Scandinavia.




Plus, they found (Ancestry) over 140 cousins 3 or higher generation. Some in

Italy and I cannot sleep around with them because, you know, they’re family; that and the fact that I’m in a wheelchair...plus old and fat and ugly and...Ok, so cousins...It’s up to me to find why and how they are related to me.....

Later folks...

Insisting situations of my life

Hello!


Good day to you all...happy middle of February……


Another day another 15 to 25cm of snow...Yaaaay...I hate that shit! I know a lot of you are all like “Awww… it’s beautiful!” Yeah well, you have to walk in our shoes to understand why most of us hate this time of the year. It’s like a friend that come once a year but he gets annoying and overextends his welcome...

Really hard on the soul...And don’t get me started on Summer either! That time of the year when you have to stay indoors because it’s really hot and humid...I guess it’s me, my situation; there was a time I couldn’t wait for the weekend so that I could pack up and head for my country home. Those years are gone, my country home burnt down and I cannot longer walk. But I’m fine, I’m always fine….

Did I get it Ancestry?

Sorry, maybe I am grumpy because I haven’t gotten my DNA test results yet and the bastards keep on sending me emails on “How close” they are on finishing but they need more time; in the meantime they want me to look at the process on how it’s done. Got news for you Ancestry.cxx, I don’t care! Just give me the results!

Again sorry, but maybe it’s this girl who sent me a message with her cell number.

Future father-in-law

She missed me going to McDs and would like to speak with me. Newsflash McDs babe, I call you and you didn’t call back!!! Please don’t waste my time, I’m a busy man. I hate people who get your hopes up just to not follow through. I am not going to call you again, I mean 5 times is more than enough….


Yes folks, my life is complicated….

Frozen in time

Hello!


Happy Tuesday to all….

I had a wonderful weekend the boys and me went to have breakfast on Sunday, you know catching up on our lives. Seems that we are kind of boring people, nothing changes! We are the same as the last time we saw each other with the exception that as time passes they get more pains and shit… Their joints hurt, heartburn here, chest pains there….Me on the other side, I’m quite fine and dandy! It’s like being in a wheelchair has completely stopped` the aging process; I am good! I think that sooner or later we will start a bet on who’s going to die first….I think I could win….


Bye folks…

PS Apparently we will get more snow this week….WHOopie freaking doodle!!!

"I walk a lonely road..."

Hello!

Good day to you all….

Well, they are planning the snowstorm of the century part 2 tomorrow. Yeah, anywhere from 15-25cm of fresh powder; snow. If it materializes, I’m here for the next 3 to 4 days…. I pray it’s not true, just started to go out again yesterday and was hoping to grab breakfast with my brother(s) but at this point, I don’t know.

Other than that, I was sure I was going to win the $60 million dollar lottery this weekend….. Nope, I’m still poor! It’s such a shame because all the signs were there. My birthday, my numbers that I dreamt long ago given to me by Fidel Castro, the ticket given to me as a birthday gift….all the signs!! It was close, the ticket was won by someone in Quebec; but not me!!! :( One day, I will post a picture of my mansion with the caption: “Moving on up!”....

Ok folks, going to daydream some more….

Riding my day away...

Hello!


Happy hump day!

49?! Still ticking....

So, today was going to be the storm to end all storms but, it did not materialize. Once again, we are having a wheelchair friendly type of winter and me ain’t bitching about it. I have been able to wander off almost every day with out a problem. This morning the mother of my kids brought us McDs for breakfast seeing that it is my birthday; much appreciated, thanks. What will I do today? Well, it’s pretty wet out there so I’m going to stay inside and do the odd technical thing here. Both my PS3 and Roku stick have not been working with the new WIFI I got installed; now we have 120Gb instead of 30. So I’ve got to see what the issue is since logically they should have no problem since they are but feet apart. It’s probably something stupid like a wrong password or shit….I’ll get it fix, I always get it fix...Besides that nothing major going on in my life, just eagerly waiting for the results of my DNA test; hopping my world will turn upside down with the results….


Any hoot, hasta luego folks….

Anything but that please...

Hello!



Can you smell it?


Excitement is in the air!!!

My DNA is finally being looked up as I write this post. I will finally be able to refute all those comments about me being a person from this planet. I don’t know how long it takes but I assume is just a couple of days; I mean, smell, taste and determine, right?  How complicated is that? Saliva was translucent so it shows I’m white, I assume I’m either Royal or from a distant planet. I know I know, don’t assume anything because when you assume you make an ass out of you….I’m assuming, so there! When the results come in all of you peasants have to bow down to show the respect I deserve, as I am probably in line to some throne in Java(Indonesia) or something along those lines…

I will keep you posted.


Carlos Bernard The Third
Has a ring to it...

Always expect the expected...

Hello!



Happy February to all of you…

The probability of being a loser? 100%!

So, I got an email from Ancestry regarding my DNA tests… EXCITEMENT TIME!!.....Nope, not today folks… It was a “We haven’t forgotten you” email stating that due to the XMAS rush they were a bit behind and my results were being pushed back a couple of weeks….Major disappointment people; major...Especially that my Thursday bath lady is flaunting her results every freaking week!! Okay, we get it; so you’re 62% Inca….Whoopty freaking doo!! “ll bet 100 bucks that my ancestors were the ones that genocide you guys...Yeah, am I’m whitety (Google it), I’m the one whose great great great great grandpa came, saw and conquered!!! Part of the people who brought all them fancy illnesses who wrecked the local population..the guy whose, ah fuck it!! Who am I kidding!!! I’m probably Polish and for that matter I’m one them people who they joke about: “How many Polish does it take to…” I’ll just wait the extra weeks to be disappointed in the fact that I suck!


... got my nail cut at least...


Any hoot, take care folks!

Things of unimportance.

Hello!


Greetings fellow thespians….


After all, we are all actors in our lives....

So, I am stuck at home due to a “snow storm” we had yesterday; freezing rain, ice pellets, snow, we basically were missing locust and brimstone to complete the show. And even like this, both my daughters had to go to their school because they were open. One of them went, the other didn’t because her school bus never showed up...But her school harass me throughout the day asking why she had missed her classes; I just gave up on them, apparently they live in another time zone.

Other than that, well…. I am looking into buying a kaossilator pro plus….Why? What planet are you from? I have picked up music again and since I cannot longer bang the drums, I am slowly going electronically….A friend who plays the guitar and me we’ve been having practice sessions where he plays the guitar and I sing and play the djembe drum. Since my birthday is coming soon, I will probably go nuts like I always do and acquire that gadget so we can intensify our music sessions….

Any hoot, see you in the funny pages...