And then it hit me…

Hello!


Kedu Ka di?

Oh yes...I’m still in a DNA high, BTW that is Nigerian greeting for “Hello losers”... Nah, “Hello how are you”, I am not that bad...And yes, I’m still on an adrenaline rush because of the results and I am starting to realize what this means.

My night guy brought me a “Kiss me I’m Irish” pin and it will be the first time in my life that I will wear it knowing full well that “I am” freaking Irish!! I mean, there is a whole bunch of phrases that I used to say without meaning anything to me, but now it feels weird because I know that there is part of my heritage in there somewhere.

To add more oil to the fire, my night guy suggested that since I got Irish roots it is my duty to find out what colour is my clan’s kilt!!! FUCK ME!! I never thought of that one! I have to find that now AND… I am going to buy a kilt...plus some bagpipes. Maybe a babban riga too...


OPA!!!

Kiss me I’m Irish; African...Spanish...Brittish...Russian….fuck

Hello!


A glorious day to you all!


Does it sound I’m happy? I AM!!! DNA results are in and they are somewhat unexpected.

First of all, every race you see in the title is part of me. “WTFF?!” I know, what the freaking fuck indeed!! I was dumbfounded this morning, Russian? Finnish? African? I think we pretty much cover the world with the exception of Australia and Scandinavia.




Plus, they found (Ancestry) over 140 cousins 3 or higher generation. Some in

Italy and I cannot sleep around with them because, you know, they’re family; that and the fact that I’m in a wheelchair...plus old and fat and ugly and...Ok, so cousins...It’s up to me to find why and how they are related to me.....

Later folks...

Insisting situations of my life

Hello!


Good day to you all...happy middle of February……


Another day another 15 to 25cm of snow...Yaaaay...I hate that shit! I know a lot of you are all like “Awww… it’s beautiful!” Yeah well, you have to walk in our shoes to understand why most of us hate this time of the year. It’s like a friend that come once a year but he gets annoying and overextends his welcome...

Really hard on the soul...And don’t get me started on Summer either! That time of the year when you have to stay indoors because it’s really hot and humid...I guess it’s me, my situation; there was a time I couldn’t wait for the weekend so that I could pack up and head for my country home. Those years are gone, my country home burnt down and I cannot longer walk. But I’m fine, I’m always fine….

Did I get it Ancestry?

Sorry, maybe I am grumpy because I haven’t gotten my DNA test results yet and the bastards keep on sending me emails on “How close” they are on finishing but they need more time; in the meantime they want me to look at the process on how it’s done. Got news for you Ancestry.cxx, I don’t care! Just give me the results!

Again sorry, but maybe it’s this girl who sent me a message with her cell number.

Future father-in-law

She missed me going to McDs and would like to speak with me. Newsflash McDs babe, I call you and you didn’t call back!!! Please don’t waste my time, I’m a busy man. I hate people who get your hopes up just to not follow through. I am not going to call you again, I mean 5 times is more than enough….


Yes folks, my life is complicated….

Frozen in time

Hello!


Happy Tuesday to all….

I had a wonderful weekend the boys and me went to have breakfast on Sunday, you know catching up on our lives. Seems that we are kind of boring people, nothing changes! We are the same as the last time we saw each other with the exception that as time passes they get more pains and shit… Their joints hurt, heartburn here, chest pains there….Me on the other side, I’m quite fine and dandy! It’s like being in a wheelchair has completely stopped` the aging process; I am good! I think that sooner or later we will start a bet on who’s going to die first….I think I could win….


Bye folks…

PS Apparently we will get more snow this week….WHOopie freaking doodle!!!

"I walk a lonely road..."

Hello!

Good day to you all….

Well, they are planning the snowstorm of the century part 2 tomorrow. Yeah, anywhere from 15-25cm of fresh powder; snow. If it materializes, I’m here for the next 3 to 4 days…. I pray it’s not true, just started to go out again yesterday and was hoping to grab breakfast with my brother(s) but at this point, I don’t know.

Other than that, I was sure I was going to win the $60 million dollar lottery this weekend….. Nope, I’m still poor! It’s such a shame because all the signs were there. My birthday, my numbers that I dreamt long ago given to me by Fidel Castro, the ticket given to me as a birthday gift….all the signs!! It was close, the ticket was won by someone in Quebec; but not me!!! :( One day, I will post a picture of my mansion with the caption: “Moving on up!”....

Ok folks, going to daydream some more….

Riding my day away...

Hello!


Happy hump day!

49?! Still ticking....

So, today was going to be the storm to end all storms but, it did not materialize. Once again, we are having a wheelchair friendly type of winter and me ain’t bitching about it. I have been able to wander off almost every day with out a problem. This morning the mother of my kids brought us McDs for breakfast seeing that it is my birthday; much appreciated, thanks. What will I do today? Well, it’s pretty wet out there so I’m going to stay inside and do the odd technical thing here. Both my PS3 and Roku stick have not been working with the new WIFI I got installed; now we have 120Gb instead of 30. So I’ve got to see what the issue is since logically they should have no problem since they are but feet apart. It’s probably something stupid like a wrong password or shit….I’ll get it fix, I always get it fix...Besides that nothing major going on in my life, just eagerly waiting for the results of my DNA test; hopping my world will turn upside down with the results….


Any hoot, hasta luego folks….

Anything but that please...

Hello!



Can you smell it?


Excitement is in the air!!!

My DNA is finally being looked up as I write this post. I will finally be able to refute all those comments about me being a person from this planet. I don’t know how long it takes but I assume is just a couple of days; I mean, smell, taste and determine, right?  How complicated is that? Saliva was translucent so it shows I’m white, I assume I’m either Royal or from a distant planet. I know I know, don’t assume anything because when you assume you make an ass out of you….I’m assuming, so there! When the results come in all of you peasants have to bow down to show the respect I deserve, as I am probably in line to some throne in Java(Indonesia) or something along those lines…

I will keep you posted.


Carlos Bernard The Third
Has a ring to it...

Always expect the expected...

Hello!



Happy February to all of you…

The probability of being a loser? 100%!

So, I got an email from Ancestry regarding my DNA tests… EXCITEMENT TIME!!.....Nope, not today folks… It was a “We haven’t forgotten you” email stating that due to the XMAS rush they were a bit behind and my results were being pushed back a couple of weeks….Major disappointment people; major...Especially that my Thursday bath lady is flaunting her results every freaking week!! Okay, we get it; so you’re 62% Inca….Whoopty freaking doo!! “ll bet 100 bucks that my ancestors were the ones that genocide you guys...Yeah, am I’m whitety (Google it), I’m the one whose great great great great grandpa came, saw and conquered!!! Part of the people who brought all them fancy illnesses who wrecked the local population..the guy whose, ah fuck it!! Who am I kidding!!! I’m probably Polish and for that matter I’m one them people who they joke about: “How many Polish does it take to…” I’ll just wait the extra weeks to be disappointed in the fact that I suck!


... got my nail cut at least...


Any hoot, take care folks!