Can you spare a dime?

Hello

Today I am going to write about a time that is burn in our family's memory: Aquarius epoch.

Every year is the same thing: Abi, Greg, Me, Luis and Eli. In that order in a week spanned. All of us must come up with about $200 cash to cover these birthdays. What were the odds?? I know I am part of the group but I still need to cover 4 others and after Christmas, really??

We tried many things to alleviate the situation but nothing works. We tried the single party, the birthday truce, the “I didn't know it was your birthday” excuse but we always return to the same place, happy freaking birthday. This year we are trying the breakfast thing and we individually pay our food, let's see how that goes.

What were the chances that my brothers would marry into the Aquarius ring of fire and that my other sibling's first born would be one of us?? Christmas is already rough on all of us and just when you think your coming out PAFF! Yup, every year the same thing. I feel sorry for my mother. She has to come up with about $1000 every year just to cover the Aquarius bdays and this year I will probably get more because of my MS...I think everyone should do the same, right?? Guys?? MS?? Hello??

I am sure that all families have something similar but 5 within a week’s time?? Maybe there should be a law against it or something like that. Or, or, maybe I should change religion. I heard that the Jehovah's don't celebrate bdays! Yup call me Brother Carlos from now on. Brother C for short.

Aquarius or not we have a beep load of bdays in our clan: 4+4+5+6=19. 19!! Only on the brothers side. Then we have to add my mother and other people. We are about 25 all in all. But this time of the year is always a reckoning with everyone's wallet. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But seriously? We should abolish this pagan ritual of birthdays.

Maybe I can convert some of my brother to Jehovanism. I know, it's not even a word, but I can try!

Ring ring

Hello

Yesterday I went to have my wheelchair repaired and adjusted. Wow! Everytime I go to this place they have the coolest toys. If I had cash, I would buy some of the same gadgets these people have. From the latest in lifts to the latest in wheelchair technology passing by electronic beds and I dunno what else that's cool. This place has it all.

So I went there because they had to repair my foot rest, replace my tail lights (3ed time) and fix my tilting device. Once I got there they brought me to a room where I had to be transfered over from my chair to another one.

The lift

They got the V4 model. A beautiful lift that has a directional motor; it doesn't only bring you up or down, it can bring you left or right. Ever since I first used it, I've been in love with this device. I remember that when they were trying to lift me up, my seat belt was still on me so I told the person who was using the device that the lift was not going to work (the combine weight of the chair and me is 700pounds). He laugh and told me the V4 could lift about 850 pounds. 850! The machine I have at home, a V3, can lift 450. I was I M P R E S S E D. Santa was going to get a letter from me that year.

Wheelchair

The last time I was there they sat me in a normal wheelchair. After 30 minutes I was ready to fall. So this time I asked for a wheelchair with a tilting device or the electric bed. They had a wheelchair waiting for me. It was a smaller version of my chair and it had a tilting device. What a device. It could tilt up and down PLUS the back cushion could push itself in or out. It was a very satisfactory chair. It could also turn on a dime, my chair I have to adjust myself to be at a 90 degree angle with the door so that I don't brake the door frame. My doors are all screwy dewy because of this. Got to get me a chair too.

Electric bed

Another magical wonder of technology. If the chair that they had for me wouldn't have cut it, they have an electric bed that would have done the trick. Up/Down, tilt and I don't know what else.

These are machines I have dealt with so far but they have lots of gadgets to make their job and my stay a comfortable one.

But out of all the tools that I saw that day, the one that I have to say left me speechless was the bike bell. I saw a kid in a wheelchair that had added a bicycle bell to his wheelchair so that he could warn people about his coming. I have to yell at them to move out of the way and most of the time they can't hear me. It's amazing how such a small artifact can make a major difference.

So what do you think I'll get this year??

Post JC

Hello

I know, the title sounds very religious, right? Well don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I choose this title because when I go to my blog I got a toolbar that allows me to go to next blog; and for some freaking reason next blog -next thousand blogs- is related to religion -they all are.

I got nothing against religion, I was brought up in it. Every first Saturday of the month was prayer time, follow by Mc Ds afterwards. We also use to go to different cities and attend religious services that would last hours. I think this was the agent provocateur that lead me to the doors of priesthood. Funny enough, it was the same lady that brought me there that also dragged me away at the last minute. Ouuff...that was close! I am not complaining, it was a growing experience. I think we all have our moments in childhood that makes us who we are today. Some goo, some bad.

I just don't like the fact that in 2010 there are still people trying to convert you into their religion that is much better than yours. I get them every Saturday around 10:30AM. In my case I don't open my door, if it was important, they can call my cell, twitter me, face book me...smoke signals for all I care, but people who want to reach me can do so via different ways these days; and this is the same principle I have for God & company. Getting in touch with the big guy can be done so in different ways. Chose the method that you best like, just don't try to sell it to me. I got my own.

I believe that JC listens to all of us we are his creation and therefore he loves us no matter what. I know some people will say that I'm gonna go to hell for a number of reasons. I personally don't believe this. I can't conceive someone denying their sons or daughters because they didn't do what was ask of them. I know I know...What about the bad guys?? Only God in his infinite wisdom can judge them, right??

All I know is that I got this one life and I have to live it to what I think is the fullest; and if I should go to hell is my business and I will blog about it so that other people can be saved.

What I can say is be and let be. You only got one life, enjoy it.

Guess the blog did have a hint of religion, didn't it?

Tomatoes vs Tomah toes

I HATE muffins/cup cakes that come inside little paper thingies. WHY??? First of all, like every normal person, like to eat the top(head) of the muffin followed by the rest. Baking the muffin inside a paper cup does not let me bite the top of the muffin. I have work at taking the paper off and this with one hand AAAGGGHH! Maybe the paper is edible and no one has told me this yet. If it is....that would be one last worry that I would have to deal with.

Another thing, why is it that the Americans call them cup cake?? I have talked to an American or two and I have offered them muffins, they look at me puzzled until I show them what it is, Oh...cup cakes....I think they are the ones to blame for the paper on the muffin.

What about pogos?? If I tell you I want a Pogo you most likely know what it is. Backtracking about 15 years ago when I was young and active; My brother and I took a car trip from Montreal to Mexico. We wanted to do this the "poor man" edition(running out of cash the first day). So we would stop at gas stations and buy junk food; One day we went into a gas shack and asked for 4 pogos (they were cooking in front of us) the gas attended was confused an repeated the question several times. We point them out to the person, he politely "corrected" us: "The are called corn dog". ???????? . When I came back to Canada, went into a restaurant and asked for a corn dog. Guess what? Yeah, had to asked by their "correct" name: Pogos.

This is not my fight, I'm hot blooded Latino that has lived 30+ years in Canada. Plus, I like Americans, maybe because I have travel to the US constantly more then in Canada. I think they are cool despite their Colloquialisms or maybe is Canada who is in the wrong.

What ca you do? Next time I'll make sure to into Taco bell. I think this is a safe bet. :)

Rule no. 72

Hi...

Today I want to chat about a potpourri of things: MS, humans, existence, patati patata.

Did you know that one asteroid can ruin your day?? This something I saw on a T-shirt somewhere. The statement is true, one major asteroid hitting earth would put an end to the human race and everything else. So what are the chances? I always thought that the chances would be astronomical but there was an incident that happened about a month ago that made me stop and think again.


Last month there was an asteroid that came 14 000 kilometers from earth. This is way closer than the moon. Thank God it was only 6 meters logs. At this size it would have made a nice fireball in the sky. But we didn't detect it and this frightens me. Because we are talking about the annihilation of mankind. So all of this makes my MS more insignificant than ever.



Here I am worrying about a cure and trying to have a better life and the god(s) of the universe are conspiring against us. Now I don't think this statement is true; she/he/they/it has/have been good with us so far. We could have been pummel by a big rock a long time ago. Lucky?


Maybe I'm coo coo for coco-puff but we should definitely spend more money and time on working on a plan to save our race. Or have we come to the conclusion to enjoy the day by day and let tomorrow take care of itself. It's not going to be pretty, this is why you have to "live large."

On the news part II

GM


So I went to the doctor yesterday and he gave me my prescriptions, we talked about different subjects and then POW I hit him with what I was there for: Dr. Zamboni's "Liberation" cure.

Well he was a bit familiar with it and suggested I speak with my neurologist but was willing to have a Doppler done to see the state of my veins going to the brain. He just wanted me to check with the neurologist and find out what type of scan needed to be done, As I write these lines, I still haven't call the MS clinic.

Ok...had a 10 minutes pause while I was chastising the Dr.'s answering machine. I guarantee you that if I get a call back, the nurse or doctor are going to advice against such operation seeing that it probably wouldn't help. I still have to try something. You probably are asking yourself why I do this, especially that my life has stability written all over.

INDEPENDENCE! I want some back.

So when the doctor calls me back, I will hof and pof and get me that scan...

On the news

GM

I will be attending a doctor' s appointment where I plan to expose my case regarding the treatment that Dr. Zamboni discovered. I know is a long shot seeing that in Canada everything needs to be double check, triple check before they study the treatment and then they will approve it. I needed it now while I am young. I read that the treatment is good for people who's MS is not that advance but seriously: THERE IS NO CURE so why not let me try it??

Well, I will start knocking on doors now and see where it leads to. Come April I will go to my Neurologist and see what he has to say...

I am going to do my best and if all goes well I give you my word that I will shave my head :)

Good day y'all

Cheating

Ok I am cheating here....and blogging about it too. Must be a first....


So all the women of the house are out cutting their hair on Saturday and the game is not on yet....so I will start blogging today and continue tomorrow.

And I didn't last much....they came back as soon as they left :-(

Ok, it is Sunday morning the girls are preparing to go to their aunt's house, my wife is preparing herself too....just how far is this freaking place??? Maybe they are leaving me....that would be something....be still my beating heart.

So, what you want to talk about??

I know, I talk you listen!

So yesterday I was thinking of giving this post a sexual twist, but I changed my mind seeing that there may be kids who are reading this....I think that that the last statement is pure baloney: "...there may be kids who are reading this..." pupu caca I say.

When I was a kid, my mission in life was to know everything. I rented my first porno flick when I was 14 and I dragged my little brothers along for the ride..But this is nothing...I was caught with a girl butt naked under a bed when I was 6, 6!! Then it was downhill from there...My libido has always been dynamite...until I settle down: got a wife, got kids.....got sick. But while I was able....boy was the ride fun.

I'm sure my mother thought I was the holiest of children. This is what I think of my nieces, nephews...DAUGHTERS! If they are anything like me we got a problem. Somehow life put things in front of me as if to test me and I just kept on saying "Sure, why not!" I was like the Energize bunny: "keeps going and going and going..." I really didn't care who they were, who they were married to or how old they were. I f*^k anything that moves, don't move!


Well that's my two cents on sexuality....let's move on.


2012


Did you know that 2012 is right around the corner?? Two more years and we're a goner. I don't partake in this belief; I think that come December 22nd I will still have to pay my credit card bill. Would be funny if I tell them that because 2012 I didn’t pay last month bill..Maybe I will try it.

As I said, I'm sure I'll be there past 2012, but what if the Aztecs/Mayas/Incas were right? I got a theory that scares me:

Those civilizations were good in astronomy, what if they calculated the orbit of an asteroid that will collide with earth in the year 2012?? That would be bad...maybe it would be the end of life as they know it...back in those days the whole world to them was small, very small...they didn't know there was more. They only knew Mexico, but they are already screwed so they won't see a difference. It's true, I see the news and they are getting clobber left and right.

So my belief is that 2012, not happening. It will be another Y2K thing. And I was there...

I was the person on call that day. I had to be proactive and call certain places in Europe to make sure they were still around. To this day I'm pretty sure there is a French lady by the name of Sonia still wondering why she got a call that night...I dialled the wrong number ok??

At this point I am tired so this is all I am writing. But keep 2 things in mind that will help you all your life:

- If you move I will f%*k you
- If you don't move 2012 will do you

What are the chances??? Slim, right?


Be happy.

Quicky

GM

Everything you see on the news is about Haiti. Poor people. They got kicked while on the ground. Yeah, life in general will smack you when you least expected. Theory of relativity: "You thought you had it bad? Well guess again!" and jut like that, it's worst. I think this is what Einstein was trying to prove but he got sidetrack.

---

This weekend is going to be a blogger’s delight...family will be out all Sunday visiting my sister in law's first house all the way in the boondocks. Don't get me wrong, I am not jealous nor am I not happy. I think its fun she gets a house, but that far? What if she needs any type of help?? About 50 minutes before she gets it. I think my special transportation doesn't get there. I will have to find out.

But enough about her...point is that I will have tons of time to write a blog or two.

Today nothing special happening. Probably catch the game later on. I have been thinking about different subjects to write on, but nothing is set on stone.

Maybe I will write about the mid-life crisis that never happened or perhaps I'll ink something on how this cabin fever is affecting my brain; better yet, my upcoming birthday: scary stuff....stay tuned.

Hey!?

Wow...2 in a row.

Today I was thinking about compatibility with my wife's sign and I. Found the below article on the web. I don't really believe astrological mumbo jumbo but some of the points it touches are dead on center.


"Aquarius + Virgo

Air + Earth = Dust

If you’re looking for a challenge, look no further than a relationship with a Virgo. If ever a star sign were going to baffle you, it would be Virgo. There’s an unusual compatibility between you, but it might not be immediately obvious when you first meet.

The above is true but then again women-men relationships always are. You just need to work together and you will get through it.
...

You have a lot in common with Virgo. They probably see a lot of themselves straight away in your humanitarian and socially oriented approach to life. Your ideals appeal to them; they are a good basis for friendship, if not romance. There are some differences even in this area, though.

My wife is a great friend, I wish she could be a tenderer lover but seeing the circumstances I understand her completely.

...

But woe betide Virgo if they try to impose their fussiness on you; if they do, you’ll lose interest in them in a heartbeat. They may also eventually find that you and your ideas don’t fit as easily as they first thought into their intellectual ‘square’.

We have our moments. After all, she is a square head :)

This can apply to sex as well. Part of the lesson for Virgo is to relax and become freer in exploring sexuality and love, and you’re an excellent teacher. After all, Aquarius is the star sign often associated with free love. Virgo will learn lots from you here.

FREE LOVE HERE! COME AND GET IT! Thank God my wife doesn't read here..I hope.... :)

Virgos born between 24 August and 2 September can be suitable partners because they’ll provide you with loads of sexual enjoyment. You can help them become less inhibited, more open about themselves and how they look. If you boost their self-esteem, you’ll be able to share your love. ....."

And so we are compatible after all!

Mumbo Jumbo I tell ya!

Remember you are not marrying your dad or mom here. You are starting something new. Find someone that makes you happy and that you make happy, work at the relationship together never giving up and you will have a friend and lover for life.

What can you do when you live in a zoo

"What can you do when you live in a zoo?" is the battle cry of a modern Inuit hunter, whose name I can't remember but face will not forget.

This person has seen more tragedy in his lifetime than the normal person will see in theirs. He has seeing several of his friends suicide, alcoholism, drug addiction; you name it and he probably been there, done that. He is about 20 odd years old and has gone through hell. He still standing.

What makes a person tolerate adversity better than others? As I write these lines, a terrible earthquake devastated the country of Haiti and I am sure there is going to be people that ride the wave better than others.

Is it a gene factor? Ancestors of the Inuit and Haitians have always had it tough. But then again so did the British in WWII and they rose to the occasion and then some. So I don't think this is the reason why. And it is not only nationalities, gender or age. I have read horrible cases of men, women and children going through their own personal infernos. One story that comes to mind is the little girl that was abducted and survived her ordeal years and years until she escaped and got help.

I think we all have our own personal battles that we must endure day to day. We must live with them or escape them whichever way we can. Some have a different mentality that allows them to endure the Odyssey better than others.

As mentioned in a previous post, I keep my eyes on the prize, others have their own reason. We all have reasons and we all have limitation were as to how far we will go. Being a parent, I am basically limitless; I will do the ultimate sacrifice for the well being of my offspring's.

This is why some people can resist more than others, limitations. The Inuit warrior has endure everything that life has thrown at him because he believes there is something better out there. The little girl who was kidnapped, endure the atrocities dreaming she would one day be reunited with those she loved.

Most of us mortals dwell in our own zoos knowing that we are carrying the hopes, the dreams and the future of a specie that has been evolving for the better thanks to people that can tolerate adversity till the end.

conspiracy

GM...

So, this morning I want to express my opinion on the universe and the conspiracy that it has to get me a better life.

Here I am a modern man, a man of the world, a logical man, believing that life has a way of conspiring for you without you even knowing. I strongly believe in this after analyzing certain situation that have happened in my life.

Trough out my existence I've gone through things that I brush aside and continue. But now that I have time to think about them, I am puzzled by the events that follow them, be it related to them or not. I will expose several of them on this blog.


MS

I was never a school child, how I got to university was a mystery. While at this level in my life I was diagnose with MS. I tried several times and in different fields to complete my schooling but I got sick every time I tried to go back to school. I finished a programmer/analyst course that was going to be my bread and butter (little did I know). I also traveled and lived short periods of time in Mexico.

So by getting MS I got to stop studying, travel, had love affairs and inadvertently met the future Mrs. Guzman, the mother of my children.


Dad

After several years with My wife, she became pregnant with our first child. So I was a dad in a job that I like but didn't pay much and I was living in the basement at my mother's place. Almost immediately, my brother got me an interview where he worked.

Sooooo, me being a dad got me a job at a company that had many perks, a better salary and long term disability insurance...this will come in handy without me knowing. Also, my wife, child and I moved out to our first apartment.

Up to now, I got MS that made me stop studying, got me to travel, got me girls, and introduced my wife to me. This led to a kid, that made me move out; got a better job with a better salary, perks and long term disability insurance.


Disabled

I worked at the place mentioned above for 9 wonderful years. I survived about 10 layoffs. I was respected and loved by everyone -this is what I heard-.

The last year that I worked there, I was working from home and they pretty much let me be until January 2008 when I was asked by human resources to speak with my doctor to determine if I could work at the office. The doctor informed them that I could no longer work, I was sent to disability insurance for life (Told you it would come in handy). I no longer work but I am covered until I’m 65. In the mean time I heard that at work people were laid off left and right including the human resources personnel that sent me into disability insurance.

So at this point the equation is:

MS=NO STUDIES=TRAVEL=WIFE=KIDS=BETTER JOB=INSURACE=LIFE


Everything is magicaly tied together!


I know that if I get better life is going to be conspiring again for me and that if I remain in this chair, it will still turn left and right, bend over backwards for me.


Analyze yourselves; you will see that things happen for a reason in your life too.


Tata for now.

"Sitting waiting wishing"

Well good afternoon, wild cards games are on...

So, I read what I blogged so far and it seems pessimistic to me. I am not a depressive person at all. I got my hopes and aspirations; I know that one day I will get better. Heck maybe I will even walk again.

There is hope on the horizon; you just have to be patient no matter what the doctors tell you.

The problem with people like me, my little brother nailed it right on, is that when going from being an "active" person to one whose body is shutting down you back track in your mind all the way to birth!! Let me explain.

I was a good sportsman, I played football, hockey, baseball; I played the drums, the trombone, I traveled....I did a lot! Now I`m in a wheelchair, I cannot eat without getting tired, I can only type with one hand for a certain numbers of minutes without taking a break, I can't dress myself, I can't write with a pen, I can't I can't I can't.....

Boohooohoooh! Poor fellow, he had a productive life, right?? Wrong!!!


Everything I wrote is true...that was me. I did it all; when I was in my teen years! But my mind went all the way there....When I couldn't do anything, I went back in my mind to when I was at my best. But that wasn't me.

Reality check: I was 38 when my MS started attacking my body. My life was:

A fat senior technician with 2 kids, a wife and I didn't do much. I fried my brain watching TV, I still do: I love it. I don't know if this is normal or because I wasn't doing much, my brain went back to a place where I was a hero and was doing everything right. So all this time I was sad because I stopped doing things I was able to do when I was a teen.....Wow the brain is dumb. I was looking in the wrong mirror....

It is true I get sad once in a while but I'm still that happy person I was and Sitting waiting wishing will one day pay off...

Ok...

GM....

It is morning and I got my home all to myself, again. I'll start by blogging before I get too tired to type something.


So this morning is a quick one: On the chair before every one is gone...These are the mornings I don't like, I feel am missing something. Yet I had breakfast, I am dressed, got my lunch: everything is ok...NOT! Here's the thing:

Mornings like this one seem to be impersonal. They dressed me up because it had to be done, put me in my chair there was no other choice, got food to quite my growling belly. I am exaggerating but I feel it could be better...

When I analyze my life,I got it good...So what if I have to wait for a couple of extra seconds....

I saw the news from Mexico this morning and I am in heaven:

Yes I have to "suffer" with MS but if I was in Mexico or any other Latin American country or the US for that matter I better have cash.

I got a motorized chair, a machine that lift me from my bed to my chair, got 2 weekly sponge bath, meals on wheels is at my place twice a week, got a team of specialized people at my finger tips and I get enough financial backing to keep the title "the man of the house"....

All of these things make my life eassier and I get them free! There is a God looking out for me.

I think the problem here I really don't like help. I used to work and help out as much as I could. Now I am the one getting help, wanted or not. From my wife to my little brother. To complete strangers on the street that will help me out without me asking. I'm supposed to be helping out here and I am not. I am not doing my share and my relationships with everyone have changed

-With my brothers, they over protect me as before I was a protector. If I am going out they make sure I wear a hat or dress accordingly.

-My mother is hiding anything from me that she thinks may affect me negatively.

-With my wife I know the relationship that once existed of husband and wife has stopped. I know somewhere deep inside of her she loves me but differently. She has "volunteered" to do everything I used to do on my own. You know the part where the priest says "in sickness or in health" well she got the short end of the stick on that one. She dresses me, feeds me, tends to my littlest desire: get me this, get me that, I`m hungry, I'm cold, I'm hot, pipi pupu caca! It is more of a helper/helped relationship. I don't know how long she could take it; I don't know how long I could last....

Is not always bad, but I sure miss sleeping with someone, to touch, to caress, to talk, to wake up with, share a laughter or a thought...To be with someone...this would make my life Ok...

WTF??

So this is my second try at blogging something. I guess life, so here we go.

Thanks Lieska for showing me the way.

Who am I?? How did I get here?? Where am I going?? What is this?? WTF??

These are some of the questions that bounce back and forth inside my brain. I got free time, lots of it!

I know who I am but don't know where I am going and I am pretty sure that a whole bunch of you don't know either. So we just have to take it in day by day, I got no choice if I didn't I would go nuts or kill myself. There, I said it terminate my life, los endos, minish caca. We are born to die! But we create life in such a way that we forget about it, marketing: it works! But what happens to those whom marketing does not work anymore??

Well we have to adapt anyway we can. Join a club; write a book, a novel, a blog. Keep your head busy as much as you can. Find little things that make life worth living. I'm a dad so I always keep my eyes on the price: the happiness and success of my daughters and by success I don't mean wealthy or famous, I mean happy at whatever they do in life. This is my way to give the finger to life.


Beep you life, beep you.