Cadaver Chuck

Hello!

Well it was an uneventful Thursday afternoon, no wait…  It wasn't!  I almost choked on a stupid Lima bean, I think it was a Lima bean…  Well it was a piece of green sh*t that almost had my number…At this time I would probably be a corps at the hospital; if it wasn't for the self-Heimlich maneuver that I don’t know but I was hitting my chest like there’s no tomorrow… and there wouldn't have been one if I had  not been successful….Yay Chuck, you rock hombre!! After that near death experience I had a yogurt, saw some cosmic TV program about Betelgeuse e who’s about to go all supernova on us and I fell asleep…great I will probably get astronomy post from Anonymous now….if I had a nickel for every post that guy puts on my blog I’d be rich…. And that was my afternoon people…remember that tomorrow I will be MIA at the CMR fixing my legs… or chair whatever tickles your fancy….

Take care folks!

Pointlessness Thursday

Hello!

Good day to you all… Last day of the month people, make it count!

So we are at T-8 and counting, I’m talking about my birthday.  I’m turning 40 something and boy do I feel old… 

So tomorrow I will be going to the CMR to get my chair fix finally, I will also speak to them about my foot rest apparently it’s creating a pressure point on my left foot.  I wonder what they’re going to say about that, I hope they’re not going like the CLSC that are cutting programs left and right.  Just this week I was told that the budget for my day to day care products had already been reached for the year 20 12 and that I had to wait until April to get my new budget….  And today my nurse came to change the dressings around my wound, so it took the opportunity to tell her about it….  In a nutshell she told me “sucks to be you!”, well not in those words exactly but it was basically what my product specialist had informed me also: wait till April!  Oooo….  Meals on wheels time!  They’re coming late these days because they have new customers so I have been bumped down the line…  Pork chops!  Let’s see how they taste like…

They care folks!

The kissing booth

Hello!

So yeah, my bath lady came back from her vacation and we talked a bit about it.  My first question was “how was France?”  Unfortunately this wasn't the vacation where she was going to go to France with her friend…  This was a mini vacation and to top it all off, she was sick all week.  What luck!  I know, “what difference does it make in my life”, I am just saying this because the brain has a weird way of interacting with memories and sh*t…  For instance, just talking about her vacation to France got me started on how many continents I have kissed…  You know what I mean; from what continent are the girls that I have hooked up with…  Sad to say that I am a very local guy, (for the purpose of this post I will now refer to girls as continents) I basically have kiss 4 countries and they all are in the same freaking continent, America!  I mean, I have kissed Canada, the U.S., Mexico at least twice and El Salvador...  I did came close to kissing Asia once, also Poland wasn't that far off,  but I remained a local guy. No Australia, no Africa, no Europe and if it wasn't for alcohol, no U.S !

 Ah!  And all of this came from a trip to France that hasn't happened yet…. Soupir (sigh)….  And with my luck, I will never go there myself….

Take care folks!

The past comes back

Hello!

Good day 2U all....

Folks, you know how the rich and famous are always "covering up" old pictures or sex tapes that lurk out of nowhere? Well yesterday was my turn....

I was happily posting my second post of the day when I get an alert from FB informing me that someone is posting a picture and tagging me on it... Well they got my curiosity and I decided to examine this photo...

I was shocked!! Here I am barely famous (I said barely so relax)  when out of the blue this photo of me in a compromising position appears... So I must do damage control to assure the masses that it was a one time deal; I was only 13 and didn't know what I was doing...and you know how those commercial that try to sell you something always use the pitch line "But wait, there's more.."?...Yeah well, but wait, there's more,.... another freaking photo of me in a group...blowing something... Not a pretty soite, no sir... not a pretty, site!...please forgive me....


Take care folks!

Me smiling and sh*t

Yeah, I'm blowing the trombone in the background

PS Just kill me won't you....

When worlds colide

Hello!

So my sister in law came this afternoon with her kid and we got talking about the sweet 16 of her oldest daughter.  She was telling me on how expensive it was going to be, there was the food, the dress, the necklace, the venue…  yada yada yada….  So I told her how Mexicans do it to keep it affordable: They get a godfather or godmother for every single expense that needs to be done!  The dress?  Godmother for the dress!  The food?  Godfather for the food!  The venue?  God parents for the venue!  It basically means that these people will be dishing out the money for their respective godfather ship……  This is how is done in Mexico, they save a bundle by sticking godfather or godmother to every single expense of a party…  Then Mexicans ain’t that dumb people!  Look at my wife, she married a rich white Caucasian who’s hung like a horse…  Okay, a miniature horse…  A very tiny pony…  And probably half Caucasian also, and not exactly that rich either….  But the point of the post is that if they decide to godfather that party, it will not be that expensive…

I’m just saying they should think about that….  I mean if the Mexicans can do it, why can't us?!

Ay caramba!

PS I told you I was a genius, first wet water and now this!?... I'm seeing Noble prize all over my life...

You either have or you're nuts...

Hello!

Good day to you all…

No, it’s not a good day.  My speech recognition is not working, my chair is broken and I think I’m losing my mind….  Yesterday I hit rock bottom when I made a comment about a virtue of water.  Seriously?!  I think I deserve some sort of prize or something; people, I’m pretty sure that this was the variable that Stephen Hawking is missing for his “grand theory”…  And he calls himself a brain, I’m pretty sure that if ever he gets a hold of my post he will be impressed and label me a genius.  

The story is rather simple, yesterday a water main broke and the downtown area was flooded…  So I’m seeing the news with my oldest daughter when I make a smart Alec remark about the water being wet…  Yeah, that’s right…  I slowly turned my head towards my daughter and made the comment: “maaan, that water is wet…”.  My daughter just looked at me with disbelief in what she had just heard.  I couldn't grasp the depth of what I had just said, this was one of those “E=Mc2” moments.  I’m almost certain that the implications will bear fruit somewhere down the line, I will probably not be around to see them but I would like you to remember the day I open your eyes to the concept of wet water…  I have to start smoking something…

Take care folks!

Making life happen

Hello!

Well, it seems that one of my nieces is going to be having a sweet 16 party and I will be able to attend…  Awesome!  It’s going to be in summer and the godfather is going to be the DJ, thus eliminating the cost of music…  Bold move brother! Other than that today my day has been on the crappie side.  Usually I will post in the morning and then play a game of “Animal crossing”, but today the stupid Wii doesn't turn on, I just had my sister law move the console a bit to see if it will turn on…  As the Mexicans say: changitos (fingers crossed).

Speech recognition is working; it seems to works better in the afternoon than in the morning if.  So I took advantage and created a post, hopefully it will work better tomorrow morning…  That’s the way it is….

They care folks!

Meeting me here...

Hello!

Good day to you all…

Well Anonymous still commenting on how much benefits he or she gets from my post, which I have researched thoroughly and invites me to visit her or her web page….which I finally succumbed to peer pressure and went for a little stroll…. This is where I deducted that Anonymous is a guy because the web page I am sent a link for is a porno temple!! Now, chill guys! I already removed all the web sites and has put a good old PG-13 back on my blog… With the odd (controlled) profanity here and there, I have made my site family oriented once again, and with good cause people. It seems that the awkward celebrity is dropping by my place unannounced…. Let me elaborate…

Thus week a local celebrity wanted me to be-friend him on the Twitterverse…. Me, hopscotching with the local rich and famous?! Well I better clean up my act now, don’t you think? So I deleted all comments from my friend Anonymous and have make it a point to use as little as possible any profanities; with the exception of “F$&% that”. "F*% you!” and “sh*t” which are consider essential for me to describe inanimate objects or actions…. Plus the guy is the co-anchor for a local English TV station, I don’t want a bad rap…. Any hoot , back to waiting for something to happen…

Take care folks!

An involuntary creep

Hello!

Good day people…

Well I was watching TV with my daughter and a commercial came on, I was shell shock!  Apparently I am probably suffering from PBA  not sure if I am, but I have M.S and the possibilities exists that I am coo-coo en la cabeza! Apparently the signs are laughter and crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason…At almost the same time…sh*t there I go again crying because I made a grammar mistake…. No no, I don’t suffer from this but it’s funny that in the USA there’s a drug for that….it might killed me, but I will finally cry or laugh about stuff at the proper moment…. I hope I see that commercial again so that I could get the web site for it, I was laughing my ass off so bad when that tidbit of information came around and said that people with MS might have it…. I’m sorry for people that actually have this sh*t, but my laughter is apparently not my fault so you cannot blame me for it….Dam, I just dropped a pen and I’m feeling so alone, I think I’m going to cry, no wait... I fell like laughing….I am going to hell aren't I?....

Do svidaniya!

Where I want to be

Hello!

Happy Saturday folks… 

Well another day and a dollar…  I have been trying to go to the CMR for the longest time, but every time I try to there’s always something happening.  This week that just passed it was the weather, -30° (wind chill factor)…  So now my visit is scheduled for next Friday, let’s see how that goes…  No major plans today, nor tomorrow, just staying at home chilling...  I do believe my girls have one day off this week, soon winter is going to be over and summer will be at our doorsteps...  Then it will be gone and winter will be at our doorsteps again and then I will be 46; God does time fly!  My eldest is doing much better now, hopefully it will be the last time that I will have to go through something like this...  Boy was that suckey….  Any hoot, I'll let you have fun on your Saturday and I wish that your weekend is a marvelous one…

Take care folks!

PS Thanks for reading....

Teenage Wildlife

Hello!

Good day folks…

I am emotionally drained, yesterday evening I was sucker punched by life.  I feel like if I was tackled and now the whole process of getting up starts, and it is hard.  It all has to do with teenage angst and how you think you know somebody but you really don’t…  This morning we are up to our heads in it already, honestly when I see “we” I mean my wife because I cannot just go and see what’s happening; but this morning my wife is already at the hospital talking to specialists.  The only advise to every parent that has a teenage kid out there is, keep tabs of what is happening with your kid and his or her environment because they can sucker punch you at the least expected moment…  Please forgive me for my lack of details; I’m really not in the mood to talk today…

They care folks!

Another day...

Hello!

Good day to you all….

Well it was bound to happen, I mean there is only so much re-run TV I can take and “How I met your Mother” has gone from re-runs to re-re-runs. Enough ia enough! I decided yesterday that the 2013 Chuck wasn't going to do that anymore so I switched channel and started to watch something new: “Maury”… Well it’s not new, I used to see this show before; I believe I even blogged about it. But it has new episodes, with exiting results… you either are the father or you ain't  funny how they have never brought a woman to see if she is the mother or not... anyways, just to let you know on my uneventful TV watching life…..maybe they should bring back Gilligan Island back, I would watch that…

My speech rec is broken, my wheelchair is kaput, I’m still poor and it still freaking cold out there…. Life still the same…oh yeah, and the nurse experience this week was on the down side… Monday’s nurse was hesitant about putting me back on the chair because it wasn't his job and today’s nurse was the same…. Did I miss something here?! Did they get a crash course on how to be a better a_hole?... I have to complain….

That’s a wrap! I’ll be seeing you some other time; and Anonymous, keep your spam comments coming… I got a shit load of time on my hands…

Shacuila's corner

Hello!

Good day all…

Happy cold day people, currently sitting pretty at -24c…. And it feels like summer here, inside my dolce domus…. But we bitch for anything that makes us become extremophiles… I mean, on the news today there was a report on places out there where the temperature drops to -50c, and it gets to -71c with the wind-chill factor!! So consider this as a pep talk to boost your moral. Why in my days of walking, the snow use to go up to my neck and I remember clearly breaking a car's engine, well my father did but I was there, because we didn’t know how to start a car at -35c…. now that was cold!!... so chin up all of you North-Easter folks, this is nothing…. But don't go out with a "T-shirt only" attitude...It's cold

Shacuila

Now on a more serious subject here… the world is full of news about something sacrilegious today, Beyoncé and her lip singing at the Obama inauguration…Really?!... This is a big deal?!... Please bitches, was the national anthem sang properly? Was it good? Was it Beyoncé’s voice? Did you pay to go and see this event? So shut the f*ck up! The girl knows how to sing so all of you American Idol wannabee get off her back… She’s not Milli Vanilli here, the girl is the real thing!.. Seriously! The whole incident was top news on the Mexican channel TV Azteca… like they don’t have anything else to report but this… If Beyoncé sang with a track or sang live, it’s not our problem. We were not charge a penny for this event! So ‘nough already… let’s move on…

Take care people!

PS My speech rec still not working, my budget at the CLSC has been reched, I have to pay everything until April and there is this annooooying bee with an itch taking pimples off my back.... no time to worry about the weather or Beyoncé not singing live...

Enceladus stories

Hello!

How are we today?.....  I’m alive, thanks for asking ….

So what’s my story today?  Pineapple and ham, I hate that stuff…I know I know trust me; my nana drilled me when I was a kid:

“You should be thankful that you have food to eat.  There are lots of kids out there that are starving”

Well by all means, send them my food I don’t mind.  I’m just saying that people have tastes and that if they don’t like something to chow down, why make them eat it?  I don’t like blondes; I prefer black hair, brunettes or auburn (sigh) hair color chicks… and I wasn't force to date blonde girls, so let me choose my food too! 

So I ate what I could from my meals on wheels fiasco and jumped to the dessert, a cupcake….?!....another downer… cup cake is frozen!!!....what the hell is wrong with these people?!... Pineapple-ham and a frozen cupcake?!...not a happy camper folks, not a happy camper….well maybe I’ll have better luck on Thursday….and on top of that, my speech recognition isn't working….what a life…

Take care folks!

PS  Oh yeah, next building people hate me too, they don't want us to drop our garbage in their container... as if it was theirs.... maybe it is...

Philosophical bath

Hello!

And a good day to you all…

You know folks, when I was little the concept of death didn't sit well with me, I didn't understand why you were born to die.  As luck would have it, my youngest suffered from the same, just recently she told me that when she was younger she thought she was going to live forever.  Sadly I came to the the same conclusion that we don't eons ago…  And that was that the end of that...it never is

With time you forget and you move on…

But I was surprised today when my bath guys started to talk more or less about the same situation.  You see he just turned 55 and basically he’s depress about it.  “what happened to me?”, those were his exact words to me today.  We started to talk and he started to ask me questions on how I see life.  I told him that I wasn't a religious fruitcake, anymore, but to quote a famous song “I’d don’t believe is all for nothing, it’s not just written in the sand…”; I too had my wheelie neely’s on where I was and where I was going.  I told him that just yesterday I was made aware that I am going to be 45 soon and I made him realize that everybody’s going that way, that no one has ever gone over 12x years unless you believe the bible stuff where you had characters that would reach the age of 800 easily; but even then I told him that the Biblical age of those people was nothing compared to the Universe’s age of 13.7 billion years.  I tried to cheer him up as much as I could, but in a way the guy is right; and if I would have kept on speaking with him I would have been the one with all the existentialists’ angst…  And I don’t need that sh*t right now…

Take care folks!


PS Maybe I should have put a warning sign at the beginning for the bible belt folks.... oh well, "SURPRISE!"

The Universe and me

Hello!

Good day people…

I hope you are all having a wonderful day.  So my weekend was a slow one, really nothing to talk about with the exception that yesterday I was home alone all day long.  My family had gone to the birthday party of my wife’s little nephew, little J’s brother, all the way in the great outdoors…  Freaking far from here!  I’m almost certain that they have a rifle to defend their territory from bears and stuff like that…

Today was a normal winter day, wind gusts of 90 KM the hour, mixed in with a mini blizzard; it was so bad that I asked my daughter to put me back to bed and I slept for a bit.  Then my little brother came and we chatted a bit, apparently he found a job with FedEx and he’s happy.  The irony of it all is that the same day he got the job, his wife got canned…Aaah the Universe, you never know what he’s going to throw at you.  And that’s my Sunday people, not a pretty one but it’s the only one I have…

Take care folks!

PS Really "Anonymous"?! I provide the reader with valuable data?!.... And my blog is going to be famous one day?!...well, it's already famous in Turkmenistan....

TGIF and it's freaking cold

Hello!

How are we today…?

I know, extremely late, but what do you want it’s Friday!...  And I didn’t go to the CMR like I had to, that and it was extremely cold today: -20° C!  That is extremely nippy people, the port dog couldn’t handle the snow because of it.  And next week apparently we will be seeing temperatures similar like today.  Canada, you Gotta love it!  Another reason why I’m late today is because I have discovered this game for my cellular phone, it’s called drag racing; and the title says it all.  Right now I took a break because I can't see shit, my eyes are tired and my head hurts from been inclined on my wheelchair, I knew that my belly was going to come in handy one day…  You know the funny part about my appointment today; I canceled everything, everything but the freaking bus!  So the bus driver was knocking on my door and I had to have my wife go over and tell him that I had canceled….  Poor fellow…  Driving under this weather…  Well I get to see him next Friday again since I’m going to go over to the CMR then…  I think I can see better now, maybe I should start playing the game again, naaaah….  I’ll just rest a bit before going to bed, they have to charge my wheelchair today as the batteries are low…

Okay folks, have an excellent weekend!

Take the good, take the bad...

Hello!

Good day to you all…

Well apparently I am the Bermuda triangle of the disable world. Its bizarre really, one day I’m overweight the next day I’m borderline skinny…Where did the weight go??

You see, this morning the dietitian came over with a tool to help her figure out how much I weight.  The last time they weighted me I was 3Xx and today I am 3xx; I’d lost 15 pounds?!...  Well I must be sick or something because people just don’t lose weight like that for the heck of it!  And here I was thinking that I was going to be 3XX, I was in a real depressed mood…  I thought I had to cut my coffee at night,  I thought  that she (dietitian) was going to be pissed off, I was thinking Weight Watchers here I come, worst Jenny Freaking Craig to the rescue!!! I was seeing Intervention written all over the place!  No!  I have lost 15 pounds and I don’t know where the heck I have placed it!  That’s the second good news I have gotten this week, first the electric company owes me money and now I have lost 15 pounds and I cannot figure for the life of me where the heck they are…  Now you know I’m going to be eating extra just to keep my love handles at bay…

Life’s grand, take care of yourselves!

PS Who’s the man now bitch?!  And I don’t mean you baby….  I meant the other bitch….

It's all how you see it

Hello!

Happy hump day people…

For those who have follow my blog throughout its lifetime will surely remember the story I once told about me screwing up a condolence message to a Masonic brother…  The gentleman had lost his mother and my brothers and I called to pay our respects.  My older brother was all diplomatic about it, my youngest brother also conveyed his sense of sympathy towards the whole event and I, I basically told him that “I hope you bring back good news from Israel”…!!!...  Not one of my finest moments people, and when he came back and we got in touch he let me knew the idiocy of my mistake…  I swear sometimes I can be such a dork…  But I’m bring this up to show everyone that we are humans and that things like this happens to the best of us…

Yesterday night, my wife got a call from one of her customers.  She wanted to cancel today’s work because her daughter in law had lost her mother.  The below is an excerpt of the conversation my wife and the customer had:

-          (CUST) I have to cancel because the mother of my daughter in law passed away

-          (WIFE) it’s OK no problem

-          …???... 

Apparently the customer had fallen completely silent because she taught my wife had somehow made fun of the event.  My wife realized her mistake and told the customer that she meant that it was OK to cancel but that she did feel sorry that she had lost someone she knew.  Obviously, some people are luckier than others.  At least my wife got a second chance to clarify the situation…  I never got that chance; it was a silly answering machine…  But it all goes to show you that birds of feathers stick together…

Take care folks!

Electricity fills the air..and my wallet

Hello!

Gorgeous afternoon out there folks…

If if you may or may not know, I love receiving feedback for my blog *hint*, but lately I’ve been getting spam comments.  Now these are funny because they always start with “great site!....  The information you provided us with….”.  My site rarely provides information on stuff; I always try to be politically correct and I don’t like stepping on toes of anybody.  Worst, they always put in their website that they suggest I should go and visit.  Yesterday I got a comment which somehow went through my spam filter, and they wanted me to go and visit their website call…  Are you ready for this one?!...  Genital warts!  I’m not lying here, I was provided with the same cockamamie as always and at the end they asked me to please visit their website on genital warts…sigh…  Really?!  Last I checked I didn’t have any…

That’s been my afternoon folks, a very lame and quiet one….  Oh wait!  I opened up my electric bill and I was waiting for the worst, I’ll be honest, I’ve been a bit late so I thought it was a letter asking for the remainder balance of “X” thousand dollars…  Surprise surprise surprise!  It appears that I have been overpaying for the last X months and now my bill is, once again…  Are ready for this one?...  -$40.xx!  And this is not taking into account the month of January, so theoretically I can give them the finger for February…  Okay, now I’m really done!

Take care folks!

Text to crap

Hello!

Good day to you all…

Well I was playing with my Galaxy S 3 phone and I got into a bit of a hiccup…  You see, Mexican TV reported that in Mexico university students are developing a product that will turn written words into speech on a mobile…  WTF I said to my wife, I’m almost certain that the technology already exists here in Canada: it’s called text to speech and I even have it on my Galaxy phone…  I touched off the Mexican pride in my wife and like a donkey that incessantly brays, she claimed that if it was on the news it must be truth!  No, no, I am quite certain that I have that option on my phone already…  And I started to look for it, in a matter of seconds I have found where to activate the option, it's called Talk Back.  Tadaaaa!  You see, you see!?  I told you it already exists! 

I had made my point people, her Mexican pride was no more...  Okay time to turn off the stupid option...  WTF?!  How do you turn it off?!...  I was baffled, I kept on going to settings, but I couldn't scroll down to the accessibility options!  " it's not working!"...  I played around for about a good half hour people, no dice!  I couldn't scroll down if my life depended on it!  So I went to my good old friend Google and started to research my dilemma…  And yes I found the answer: use tree fingers to scroll down!...  Stupid Mexican students, if they wouldn't have reported that, I wouldn't have encountered the problem and my life would have been much easier...  That's my morning...

Take care folks!

PS They probably explained it on the crash course you are given at the beginning but like the good technician I am, I bypassed it...

A phone thing

Hello!

Well it’s not like I was going to get tons of calls or something like that, but the phone didn't ring once today….  And it wasn't because nobody likes me, no!  The freaking base was disconnected upstairs, and as you know stairs and I don’t mix.  So I had to wait for my daughter to come and connect the freaking phone…

It was a slow day today and reflection was omnipresent…  I really don’t like days like today, makes me all wishy washy…  It is a beautiful day, once again, and a lot of snow has melted and it really looks like spring…  Mother Nature can be such a bitch, watch her dump 50cm of snow on us for the heck of it...  But I shouldn't complain, we got 46.6 cm and another province got 60 cm….  That’s like a whole other snowstorm altogether…  And did they bitch?  Nope!  Canada, take it or leave it….

Take care folks!

Bath guy the movie critic

Hello!

Happy week people…

*** Before you begin reading this posts, be advised that it has a spoiler alert classification written all over the***

I just had my bath with my regular Monday guy, who I will now call movie guy since every Monday he brings me his latest critics of the movies he has seen.  This week he went to see the movie about Osama bin Laden’s operation…  My guy gave it five stars, he claims that the guys who were part of the operation were “freaking nuts”…  His words not mine…  He told me that I should go out and see this movie…  That was movie number one, the other one was also good but he didn't understand what was the brouhaha going on with this movie in the USA…

The movie I’m talking about here of course is Django Unchained.  He claims it was another excellent movie by Quentin Tarantino.  That the soundtrack was superb and that Tarantino had used his personal vinyl collection.  Needless to say that this is another movie that my guy suggested that I go out and see…  We’ll see, I still can’t get over the fact that my dad used to see every weekend: The guns of Navarone…  Over and over again…  Kinda like me with Independence Day (Die you alien scum bag, die!)….  So I don’t want my daughters to go through it…  So seeing a war movie and a movie regarding slaves is probably a nono for me…

Take care folks!

Sunday under the weather

Hello!

Good day folks…

It has been another warm day today, but also very *bleah*, with rain and spring like weather. Yesterday I stepped out for a bit, couldn’t really go too far because my flipping chair would get stuck and the wheels would just spin….yeah, winterized my freaking fanny…sigh…Now I have 2 appointments next month. So I’m hopping that winter comes back so there isn’t any water or slush on the ground…

Man, trying to get food here is an experience…  You see, my wife is working today so I asked my little daughter to make me a grilled cheese sandwich…  Boy was that painful to watch!  First she couldn’t find the beans, then she couldn’t find the margarine, then she wanted to take the sandwich out and it had only been like a minute or so, the freaking cheese hadn’t even melted yet…  Some serious talking is due at this house…

Take care folks!

Things that happen on a Saturday

Hello!

Happy weekend people…

Well it’s a very warm day today, for a day in the  middle of winter, but the drawback is that the melting snow becomes very slippery and walking outside can be dangerous…  They tell me that rolling out also, but what do they know… I have no major plans today; I don’t think I’ll have any major plans ever again…  I feel like if I was evil knievel and his staff took away all his bikes for fear that he was going to kill himself…  Rats!  Foiled again…… 

I was screening new shows for us to see as a family, so far nothing new and hilarious has popped out to keep on the week’s roster…  At this point we have like four or five shows a week that we record on the PVR and then watch them on the weekend…  Weekend TV is extremely boring people and, I don’t know why they don’t do anything about it.  So my weekend has started but I already feel it’s finished, I already have medical appointments for next month, I have to go to the CLSC and consult a diabetic nurse…  I also have to move my neurological appointment since it’s the 5^th of February and I rather have it when spring has sprung…

Take care people!

2013 so far...yay...

Hello!

And thus the first week of 2013 finishes with a damper, literally.  Let’s recap what happened this week, shall we?

Earlier in the week some parts of the hood were still being cleaned from that mega snowstorm we had an up to Wednesday there were some Burroughs of Montreal that were unhappy with the whole cleaning situation…  And I was home belonging like I usually do…  Later on there was an issue with what was first presented as three whales being caught by the sea getting frozen and trapping them before they reached the open waters…  It was later reported that it was 12 whales and that they were killer whales…  orcas…  And I was home doing F all, again…  Just two days ago there were reports of that mega asteroid that could harm earth in about 23 years from now, when your kids will be having kids.  Luckily after recalculating the orbit of Apophis, it was determined that it will not hit us come 2036…  And the world went wild…  To be honest I don’t think I’ll be here 23 years from now, for heaven’s sakes my oldest will be 37 years old and if I’m still around, I’ll be a grandfather!...  It better not be a joke from the NASA folks, then thinking that we could take care of it then…  And today, we had an alert of freezing rain just to be removed at the last second…  I think we are now getting rain…  Awesome week!  Can’t wait for next one. . .

Take care folks!

PS I failed to mention speech recognition issues, but this is something that’s going to continue at aeternum….great, stupid computer keeps on going into sleep mode when speech rec is turned off…

It's dangerous out there...

Hello!

I told you it was just a matter of time before getting on the ‘up’ again!  It works every single time that I am depress, all I have to do is visit this website and my spirits are restored…  No it’s not a pornographic web site like you’re thinking, gutter brains, I go and visit the NASA home page and see the latest space news.  Now I know that January 9 Apophis (a giant asteroid) was going to be coming close to Earth, Apophis is an NEO (Near Earth Orbit), and that when it came close we were going to recalculate its orbit to determine if the asteroid was going to come back in 2036 and slam itself against us.  Well, the good news is that I will be able to die in peace, that asteroid is not going to crash against Earth.  Yay for humanity, we lived to tell another century...  That was, an astronomical close one people...  Relax now!

Take care folks!

PS Aghhh... Chinese screaming outside my door....let's wait for the karate chops to start flying... I wonder what is going on... I know the landlord is going around knocking on people's door that are late with their rent, but it's the first time I hear him go at it with another Chinese person.... I got to learn Mandarin...

A crappy day for me

Hello!

Good day folks, weekend is here!

Aaah….  I don’t feel very well today, no physically I’m OK, I guess is just one of those days were the general population mood is one of hopelessness…  Maybe not the general population, but I’m pretty sure that there’s more than one person feeling this way today.

So it’s getting to be a habit for me to restart my computer so that speech recognition stars to work properly…  Lame OS!

Well first week of the year is done and everything has taken its natural course again.  My kid is swimming, my wife is working and my other kid is doing I don’t know what…  I am back here doing F all, just breathing in and breaking out…  Maybe I shouldn’t complain that much, I’m pretty sure that there’s other people in the world that have it worse than me, but at the present time I feel I’m alone in this universe and that MS is a real pain in the !@#$...  Any ways, maybe I’ll feel better later on…

Take care folks

Speech rec & the Whales

Hello!

Good day folks…

Yup, it was another speech recognition issue that stopped me from blogging except that this time I wanted to find out what the hell was going on, so I troubleshoot the bastard…  Didn't work, I had to reboot the machine at the end of it and I was too tire to continue so I rested a bit…

So what’s new on this part of the world?

Well, remember the movie about the whale stranded by ice and how people get together to set them free?  Well we have something like that going on in Quebec…  Somewhere north of here, where is freaking freaking cold..  Except these are not the type whales that were stranded on that movie, these are freaking orcas, killer whales; and there’s more than three here, try more like a dozen!  To be honest, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with them; there are rumors spreading around that we’re going to be sending an icebreaker, but these are rumors so far…  I haven’t looked at the new lately, I’m telling you guys what I saw this morning…  Once I post this I am going to see what’s going on…

Take care folks!

I'm just saying

Hello!

I’m sorry, I know that I came out very negative on my last post and that perhaps I am killing the dreams of many of you out there that still believe in random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.  I mean I feel sorry for that guy from Tijuana that called out for a handout; after all there is a slim possibility that Miguel was really my nephew.  I mean I don’t know you, you don’t know me, there were several instances while in Mexico that I got really piss drunk with my brother!  The guy could have impregnated a girl named Maria and Miguel was, sorry is, his love child.  Who knows?!  I have seen weirder shit than that in my life, so why not this one?

Any ways, I’m just writing to apologize to all those people whose dream I crushed with my last post.  I didn’t mean to do that, I keep forgetting that I was once a dreamer too…  I hope Santa Claus doesn’t take my last post in consideration…  I want a good Christmas present next year…

Take care homies!…  Keep on dreaming!

Ringing to the Bahamas

Hello!

Oh my gad Oh my gad Oh my gad Oh my gad!

I just won a cruise to the Bahamas!!... the telephone just rang and I was told that I had won a cruise to the Bahamas!! But that wasn't all, if I would do the survey right away I would get 2 extra cruises!!! This year is starting out pretty good… Now I will hold a raffle in my blog to see who will go with me…tickets are $100 dollars a pop… Come’on, this is the Bahamas people!

If I was depressed before this call brought my spirits up again.  Seriously!?  Who in heaven’s name falls for this type of shit?!  And yet, several people do, maybe it’s me that is the sarcastic nonbeliever prick that never wins anything because he doesn't press number 1 to complete the survey as requested by the sexy mechanical voice.  You know what?  I have become a very sauerkraut person before I've gotten old enough to be one...  Where’s my nephew Miguel from Tijuana?…

Take care folks!  And please don’t press 1, your phone will explode…

Going back on something

Hello!

Good day folks…

Well I’m alive, no thanks to those 15 updates that Microsoft decided to dump on me…  Why do I trust people?!  Okay, companies that are supposed to make my life easier…  You see folks, I had breakfast, I had my bath and I’d even played Animal Crossing before hitting the computer to write my blog…  Once I turned on the screen, Microsoft wanted me to update my operating system…  Sure, why not!  I tell you why not: because sometimes service packs installations go haywire and destroyed a boring but productive life.  I had to revert back to the previous working state of the computer and this takes a freaking long time…  I had time to watch an episode of a very interesting yet boring show that knocked me off into lala land…  Once I got up I came to see if everything had finished and no…  I still had time to go and have my lunch…  This is the highlight of my morning…  I was going to talk about that awesome sandwich (torta) I had yesterday but the whole fiasco took my inspiration away...  What about you,  what have you been up to?  Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question I really don't give a hoot...  But I still love you….

Take care folks!

A day of dreams

Hello!

Well, I have come to the conclusion that life sucks people!

Still around, sick and all

Here I was this afternoon waiting impatiently for my meals on wheels, just to see that what they had brought me seem to be a whole bunch of vegetables with sauce…  Really!...  So basically this afternoon after having slept a bit, I've been rummaging the house for something to eat…  I have successfully taken a Jello cup from the fridge and now I have just discovered that there were some nutritional bars in the pantry but it took me awhile to open one of the stupid bars…  But I got it!  So my day is done, tomorrow is another slow day in paradise and I’m thinking of getting puppets so I can make them talk among themselves and not look like a fool….  I’ll call them Proculo and Marbella, I know weird names but I like them….  And what the hell is up with the speech recognition, every time I say “I” it sticks a “’d” so I could say “I like your shows” and it will write “I’d like your shoes”…  I need speech therapists, I wonder if the Parisian girl from the CMR is available….

Take care folks!

Cyanide dreams

Hello!

...uck that!  I don’t think I’ll ever play the lottery again, did you see what happened to the guy who won a million dollars in Chicago?  He died of poisoning!  Yeah!…  Apparently he ingested cyanide, he croaked…  I mean, what if my better half gives me some mole with chicken, guacamole and salsa Verde spiked with a bit of cyanide?  What happens next?  I mean obviously I will die, but the bitch gets away with it?!  Not cool!  Not cool at all!…  If I ever win the lottery I will make sure to give it away to charity (the stripper at the local handicap bar) as soon as possible like that my wife has no ill ideas about the whole thing…  Holy frijoles, what is this world coming to?...  And me that was looking forward to my mother in law’s visit today because she’s going to make some tortas for us, better chew and spit…

Did I tell you I got my rent increase for next year?  Yeah I’ll be paying $30.00 more for a roof to sleep under, better than become a Russian citizen just like my favorite French actor Gerard Depardieu who I now call big fat French guy…  Trust me, if you didn't see him in his old movies you don’t know how cool he used to look like; I wanted to look like him and now…  I do!

They care folks!

Rosca dreams

Hello!

Good day folks…

So what’s on the agenda today?  I’m going to have a super duper slow day, everyone has left the house except me…  Sucks to be me!  I was going over this subject in the morning, and it’s funny how I have gone from “it’s just a matter of time before I start walking again” to “I sure wish my wheelchair could have wings to fly”.  You get used to it, I mean there isn’t a cure for what I got, and it would be a freaking miracle if suddenly I start walking out of the blue, so the human inside of me just gives up an adapts to the situation…  Don’t worry, I am not depressed nor am I contemplating mass suicide…  I was just playing with the idea this morning, back to the show…

So yesterday we got the new rosca, and my daughter was all excited about splitting it in four and finding the prized figurine…  Well she did and she didn’t find the figuring, nor did my youngest daughter, nor did my wife; so who found the figurine?  I did!  I found the freaking figuring, and as luck would have it: a freaking pig!  The figuring is a freaking pig and I won!  Needless to say that my oldest daughter was depressed, in several years that we've been doing this rosca thing she has never once won the freaking event!  I told her it would be funny that when she gets her own family she still loses to her kids, she claims that she will send the little bastards to bed without supper…  A mother on the making here…

Take care folks!

Done the Monday thing

Hello!  The

I got my bath and it was a French girl who was born here in Quebec but was raised in France…  Awkward accent, she wasn't very chatty but she did her job properly.  She reminded me of the CMR speech therapists that I met years ago…  She was a very nice lady too.  So my day is done and speech therapists... I meant recognition seems to be working crappier and crappier with every word I say..wtf?!…it just died on me!!!...I have to resort to typing now…ooo the horror, the shame…. I am now a normal person like you guys and will have to use the keyboard until I solve the problem….oh well, that’s my life for you today, gonna have to trouble shoot this issue and get it working for tomorrow….

Take care folks!

I'm right because I am

Hello!

Well, it’s 11:30 AM and I’m still half naked in my chair; my bath guy is nowhere to be found.  I take it he worked during the weekend and I will get a replacement by 2:00 PM, but I wish they would call me and let me know these things…  Kinda like to let my brain scheduled itself…

The girls have no school today and who was right about then having no school today?  Me!…  Maybe they should listen to me once in a while; I didn’t get this gray hair overnight, I knew about this but did they listen to me?  Of course not, the old man is a fruitcake…  Pay no attention to him…  So they got up, took showers and hustle the hell out of here, just to comeback and admit their mistake…  Obviously, some of the people didn’t go down without a fight, they wanted tangible proof…  They got it...  I love “I told you so” moments like the one I had this morning…  Well I guess I’ll just go back to waiting and contemplate the ceiling…  Or Facebook…

Take care folks….

#Not the same

Sometimes things harm you without you noticing it. Example, yesterday my brother dropped a philosophical bomb shell on me that was going to change my life for ever.... Gangnam style dance is a copy cat of The best little whore house in Texas....WTF?!!...... If this is true there is no Santa Claus...there is nothing new under the Sun...this sucks! Me that thought that the dance was a step forward into the unknown , that humans were slowly walking into the 22nd century with a simple Sexy Lady saying....oh the horror, the calamity! Why can't we evolve?? This is as bad as going back to the moon! Come'on NASA folks, we've been there, we've done that! Let's move on! This is not the way to get off this planet?! Let's go let's go let's go! Why do we like to turn in circles? How about creating something better than the wheel...

Take care folks!


PS funny how things are interconnected! I told you things hit you without you noticing them....

PS PS BTW, my brother is full of it!! I saw the video and there`s nothing Gangman style about the dance in that movie....PSY created something new for us to enjoy....or not..

Suck it up cupcake...

Hello!

Good day folks…

Man, shit happens!…  First of all this morning I woke up like if I was dying type of shit, itchy eyes, numb hands, phlegm throat (I’m sure that dying people feel like this before they croak), it’s like that stupid gnome came out last night and did a number on me…  You know, the one that screwed up my speech recognition yesterday?...  It was a bad start people!

On with my life…

Yesterday we had rosca day at my house and for the third consecutive year in a row my youngest has found the prize!  I am almost certain that she’s cheating somehow….  3 out of 3?!  That’s better than me playing at the lottery…  Needless to say that my oldest cried foul, even if she was the one who cut the rosca and had dibs in choosing the slice she wanted.  With that in her head, this morning she decided that she wanted another rosca even though it meant she was going to buy it, and cut it again, select the sliced she wants and then choose the one that her younger sister would have chosen…  Everything so she can get the stupid prize…  And we just found out where they’d make the real Mexican rosca, next year we will order one…  Click on rosca to find out what it’s all about…I'm too tire to describe the tradition...

Take care people!

Here and now...

Hello!

Good day folks…

I swear sometimes the Universe is out to get me in a slow type of way.  Today it was my speech recognition software, it wasn't working for some reason or another; how does that happen?!  I mean, yesterday it was working properly and today out of the blue it stops working!  Why?!  Was there some sort of gnome that came out last night and decided to fuck around with my computer?!  I don’t know, all I know is that I had to work at it before I got it going!  And you know what fix the problem?  A reboot of the system!  Anyways, let’s move on…

So yesterday I send my wife to purchase my tickets for the month, lottery tickets.  I had calculated that the amount she had to pay was $5.00.  However she called all panicky from the store informing me that it was $45.00!!…???  WT F?!!…  That makes no sense, I won $20.00 and each ticket is worth $2.00 x whatever number of days / PI - the speed of light it should come up to $25.00…  Well she claimed it didn't and it was too late because she had paid it already…  Dear lord, how in heaven’s name is $45.00 possible?!  Makes no sense, I’m still doing the math and it is not possible!  Of course if I win the lottery I will recount the story as a “destiny” type of thing…

Beautiful day out there, a warm sunny day…

Take care people!

              

Same s*it different d*y

Hello!

Good day folks…

You guys know when you get extra cash and you start to make plans for it?  And then out of the blue some silly expense, like the cell phone, comes and hits you in the face?  Well…  It just happened to me!

You see folks, every three months I get what we call my GST check, about $200, and today was that day.  I had plans for it, big plans, I was going to buy that speech recognition software from the place I used to work before…  But then my wife got a text from the cell phone company:  “pay up or we’ll disconnect your cell phone…”….  I know, I know…  What do I have to do with this, right?!  It’s not my cell phone; it’s my wife’s and my two ugly daughters…  I shouldn't care about this!...  Sucks to be them!...  But then the stupid conscience kicked in and something about a damsel in distress that I hate to see…  Oh well, I guess God giveth and God taketh away!  But hold on, I found out tha the sick bastards were going over the 2 Gig family plan…  And I’m still paying for it?!…  Really?!  If I’d known that having a family was going to be all this hassle I would have gone gay…  What am I saying, those guys probably have the same problems I am having; sorry gay people, I didn't mean to imply that you guys had it easier…  Oh well, there’s always the afterlife…

They care folks!…  And thus a new year begins…

The understudy

Hello!

Happy new year!...  may 2013 bring you all sorts of happy news…

Just like her

Let’s go back a little, all the way back to the 31^st of December 20 12…  A day I will call “Hillary Swank day", as it was the day when she came over to my house and provided me with a bath.  No no, it was her I swear…  I wasn't hitting the eggnog or anything like that, the CLSC sent me a girl to provide me with a bath and this girl was a spitting image of Hillary Swank!  Now I know that in the past I have posted about super sexy girls coming to give me a bath, or there was even this French girl from France that was hitting on me…  OK she was hitting me, but I liked it.  But I swear that the girl that came and gave me my bath, was the movie star studying for a role that she probably will be playing in the near future…  All I’m saying is that when a movie comes out called “The patient” is probably the life story of me; it will star Hillary Swank and the patient will be played by Jack Black or some other chubby guy….  I should have taken a picture guys, you would understand why I’m posting this….  I don’t give a hoot if what’s his name is jealous, it’s serves him rights for leaving J-Lo…  Who I wish would come over and give me a bath someday…

Take care folks, and Happy freaking new year to you!


PS...

I know! It's like separated at birth type of shit...