Oh, one more thing...

Hello!

Well, it’s pretty hot out there… I wouldn’t like to step outside but it’s extremely tempting… quite  a gorgeous day!

Now weather aside, I like to take a bow and say my goodbyes for the summer…no no, it wont be all summer but a couple of days is always good for the soul.. Before I go I like to say thank you all for reading…. A big “OOH RAH” to the US for having over 30k of the 50k pageviews, thank you also to Canada, Russia with its solid 3^rd place, God Save the Queen to the UK, Hail to Germany, South Korea, Ukraine, France, Netherlands and Slovenia… You guys are the readers that come into the blog, almost daily, to read my silly posts and admire my beautiful beauty…ok you come and read whatever stuff I've posted that day. I would also like to say “thanks” to those that have commented on my blog or via FB… as you can see I am not a machine, I am a real blogger with time on his hands… So I wish you a happy summer full of ice cream and I’ll see you back here come fall… I hope…

Take care Folks!

Addendum...I know I know, it's a shocker and you're probably crying but life goes on... here let me cheer you up a bit... Tom is getting divorce!

Dad?!

Hello!

It better be the freaking humidity acting up on my hands dexterity because if it’s not I’m going to be one pissed off motherfucker really!!! I hate this puta of illness….

Okay, called me bipolar but here I go….

My dad is first one on the left

One of my cousins from my country sent me a picture of my brothers, my mother, me and…my dad!? WTF!? I have a picture similar to it but one where my dad has disappeared! And how did they get this picture? I want to blame my nana that was always rather close with the mother of my cousin; I don’t see anyone else that could have provided the picture to my aunt… It was weird seeing my dad, I haven’t seen him in years… a long story of mystery, drama, betrayal,  sleeping with the enemy type of shit… This guy tried to suicide by ingesting rat poison once.. I remember it like it was yesterday.. plus rumors has it that he tried to kill my mother once by pushing her off a moving vehicle....man, do I have a weird family or what??

Take care folks!

Friday start of something

Hello!

Good last Friday of the month…

It’s going to be hot the following days, thank God for A/C, got no plans except stay inside and survive the weather… I know what a pussy, trust me there isn’t anything more I desire than to dive into a pool; like I used to do so…..sigh…

The construction inspector called me yesterday to find out if I had received the permit for the modifications to my place; I told him I had but it would have to wait until I could come up with the 2k to complete the work. He then told me that he was looking to emit the check to my name instead of the landlords so that I could be in control of the whole enchilada....drool...come to papa...

Take care folks!

Hammer and other things

Hello!

Before I tackle Hammer, let me just say that there’s a lot of bipolar people out there… aka my neighbour! I went out to buy my lotto ticket and some other stuff when I heard a very shy “Hello”. Being a female voice, it got my attention right away… that and the fact that it was my youngest talking… It was my next door neighbour… wow, she never ever talks! I said “Hello” back and kept on buying stuff. When we came back, she came out of her place to do something in her patio; I said “hi” again. Do you think she talked back? NO! F_ing way, the B didn't say a word! She didn’t even attempt to look at me!! Talk about a bipolar person…geez…

Now for those of you who don’t believe Hammer the cat exists, that he or she is a figment of my imagination, well I snapped a couple of pictures of it and a small video…I think it’s a she and she’s pregnant!!! God help us all…

Take care folks!

Signs of life

Hello!

Good day all…

I’m still here but summer takes a toll and I am spending lots of times outdoors doing nothing,  just taking the sun and fresh air; after all soon I’ll be cooped inside again….

So my Thursday bath guy still hanging out with her new GF, he has noticed she has a small house… no, I’m not implying anything, it’s just that it's something I wouldn't notced… I wonder how long till he moves with her….Bad Chuck!... bad very bad Chuck…The guy is nice, he patched my ass today, I have so many Duoderm patches that I probably look like a robot… But I am thankful that these people come during the week to take care of me…so thanks people...I owe you one...

Take care!

Size does matter

Hello!

Good day folks…

Well it was a cool summer night last night, everything and everyone was shutting down and Hammer, the cat, was being fed while I watched the news. Suddenly a noise of laughter caught my attention, it was my wife and youngest kid debating something in the kictchen… “What’s going on?” I said with a voice that carried authority. My wife and kid came to my room and my wife asked me something that was in the making for 11 years: “Do you think Epsilon is taller than me?” (Epsilon is a cool name)….WTF!....SHE IS!!  My wife didn’t believe me so my oldest yelled “Get the tape out!”. By this she was referring to the measuring tape and we were going to settle who had the biggest dic…er…who was the tallest of them all… we began by measuring my oldest who claimed that she had grown a litt….hahahahah…wait too much too much!! we just wanted to have fun with her! She suffers from the syndrome “Little J’s mom” so at 14 she has reached her apex, a full 5feet 4”inches… She’s a fun size kinda gal…After the moment of fun we had laughing at shorty, we measure my youngest… 5feet11”inches, tall…taller than 99% of he population of Canada and maybe Scandinavia the last bastion of hope where I had planned to marry her with some tall Norwegian dude… Now my wife’s turn….. drum roll…. 5feet10”inches….Holy shit Batman, my wife is smaller than my youngest one… and they made fun of each other and congratulated Hanna for her abnormal growth and….”WAIT !“ I yelled…. Although in a wheelchair I’m pretty sure I’m still taller than her…TAPE TIME!! I laid flat on my bed and they began to measure me…6feet3”inches!! HA! I rule the roost!! I am the Alpha and Omega, what I say goes around here….. No way, no how am I gonna let you take my crown away… I am…er…Okay, I gloated a little but it’s the only thing I got left…that and my cool chair…

Take care folks!

PS Yeah, we're a weird family...

Changes on my food

Hello!

With all that brouhaha related to the nurse, I forgot to tell you about what appears to be changes at the meals on wheels factory. I started to notice this last week; now all food containers are labeled and have the name of who is going to! I guess somebody must have gotten the wrong container or was accidently poisoned because my container reads “Mr. Guzman” and has the date I get my food… Talk about Quality Control!!  Anyhoot, that’s it for me people, I wonder whaqt tomorrow holds….hasta mañana folks…

Take care folks!

Newbies, I hate them

Hello

An hour, a freaking F_CKING HOUR!!! That’s how long the visit from the nurse was. A replacement nurse, I admit, usually takes a bit more time but this one went through the whole questionnaire. How’s your sugar? Are your caca movements fine? How many times you have sex? Would you like some?...er.. well no, it didn't get that far, but it’s 1:05PM and she came at 12:03PM; I know I got OCD remember?! Looking at shoes and clocks are my thing!! I was on my back for an hour and it wasn't even satisfying! The wonderful news is that I get to see her next week… Oh joy!..My file at the CLSC should read:

“Mr. Guzman is the healthiest fat guy ever seem with MS. Just go, pet his dog, change the wound and presto! If he asks if you and him had sex, tell him yes and add that it was the best sex you ever had; he will then tip you a $20.”

I swear, this would make my life a little more easy to bear…

Take care folks!

It's that time of the year

Hello!

Good Tuesday…             

So I had my bath already and now I am waiting for a nurse to come and change my dressings; apparently my nurse is vacationing, so a replacement was found. It’s that time of the year when people that are my usual ones start disappearing for weeks… Lucky them! They are off from something, going somewhere, going nowhere, just going… I, on the other hand, are always off; in a wheelchair, on my back, getting a change, getting a bath… I guess we all have a part to play in life and mine is sitting down, looking pretty….Boooring…..

But so you see it’s not just thinking that I do but I also smell the roses, yesterday my oldest asked me what I wanted more in life: hair, walk again or win the lottery… I in an instant faster than light I said:

-          “Baby, I had hair… a shit load of it! I also walked, I think it’s highly overrated; the chair is fine. So I would rather win the lottery and get a wig and paid someone to walk for me…”

Where does she gets these questions?!!

Take care folks…got to go and wait some more!

Obviously

Hello!

It was bound to happen, my animal lover of a wife “adopted” a stray cat…

Last week there was this black cat on my A/C (outside my window) looking up at a vent. Obviously she was hunting the birds that had made their nest there. Obviously she (my wife) fell in love with the cat and yelled so that my daughters come down and admire the cat… Obviously the two little shits started to “awe”, they even named the cat (Hammer).. Obviously they started to feed her, against my advice, every day.. First it was milk twice a day, then she was upgraded to ham and milk and water… and now, my wife and I went food shopping and besides the $300+ food cart we had added up she bought a bag of cat food!!! WTF! I told her that if she liked the cat so much, she should adopt it… she said no because it was a stray cat after all and who knows what diseases it had and flees and maybe she was pregnant and what about Olivia and she would feel uncomfortable with the dog/cat situation and the extra expending and…..my God woman. you’re already giving her food and what not…. Right now I feel like I have 2 pets, Olivia and a stray cat named Hammer and 3 crazy cat ladies….

Take care folks!

A faux pas

Hello!

Good beginning of week people…

So ya, yesterday I went out to buy food for bbq; seriously? After 36 years of living in this province and you didn’t realized that it was the 24^th of June?? La Saint-Jean??....IT WAS FREAKING CLOSE!! Out the door went my hotdogs on the grill dreams and my, for once in my life, drinking red wine vision. What was I thinking?!  It doesn’t matter what day of the week the 24^th of June is, that day the stores will be closed! All I can say is that my reverie had the best of me and this is why I went out to the shopping center… If you want my opinion, this is how fascism starts…

See you later folks! 

PS Thanks God for Canada day, everything in this province is open that day.... It's a Quebecois thing...

Stop and relax

Hello!

Suundaay!!

A lazy happy Sunday tgo you all! I just finished having the breakfast of champions, if you’re a normal person and not a vegetarian who thinks celery sticks with peanut butter is a sin. No, I’m talking a mountain of bacon, pancakes, sweet beans, eggs, toasts, coffee and OJ….with pulp!! Yeah, this will help me start my week in a good way…sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses folks… Later I will venture outside and buy hotdogs, fries, chips and anything else I could think of to celebrate my 24^th of June…what the hell?! My hands are shot again, I don’t want to star voice rec again!?.

Take care folks!

Same old same old

Hello!

Happy Saturday…..

Hands are shot and I don’t know why, I keep my room at a comfortable 19c…. the center of dispute between the other residents of this place and me!!! I swear, all they have to do is skedaddle out of here and problem solved… but I still expect them to be here when I need them…

So whar are my plans for today?? Later I will hit the streets and go do my food shopping thing, then I should pray all day so that my lotto numbers come through; don’t laugh, I’ve been getting lots of $10, $15, $20 dollar prizes that help me get additional tickets. Yesterday’s draw got me a free ticket, so I’m cover for next draw….

Take care!

T-losers

Hello!

Before the weekend starts and I am too drunk to write something legible or intelligible, I like to pause here for a second and acknowledge the people that are now following me through different social media sites. FB, Stumbleupon, Digg… Thanks! I just went to Diggs and I saw someone by the user name “Kat” who is now following me….It means a lot, why my follower base has double in the last month and I now have a shit load of (I should think of a name for them like lady Gaga) people following the blog.. I’m talking an exuberant amount here, 4, who would probably give their lives for me in a sec…T-LOSERS!! THAT'S IT! I will call my followers T-Losers and they should be part of my electronic family, which when I’m a millionaire will entitle them to nada…. Hey, it’s better than a kick in the ass…

Happy weekend and thanks for following!

PS Why the T-losers? Well they are persons that are just like me, at the border of greatness in their head…

A drinking problem I hate talking about

Hello!

Just came back from outside, drinking an ice cappuccino and enjoying the day out with my dog….then I asked for my bottle… yes I have a drinking problem and no one knows about it… usually it happens when I’m outside and I start thinking of my situation… today was no exeption. I asked my daughter for my bottle and, with hesitation, she brought it to me…. I started to drink from it and the more I drank the more I wanted it, suddenly it happened… SPLASH!! All over my head, I had done it yet again!! I deliberately pour the bottle of water all over my head to cool off; and it’s not the first time!!! I have this problem were I cannot see water in a bottle because I want to poor it on my head to aliviate the heat!! Today was the best one yet, I Think it must have been a liter of h2omg did it feel good….and the ice coffee wasn’t bad…shaping out to be a great weekend folks!!

Take care everybody!

Debauchery time

Hello!

Good something…

Yeah yeah…you and your mother… I know I’m late but I have a reason, reasons, my girls finished school, I went to the shopping mall –and it’s still hot and humid out there- so when I came back I was put to bed!! Now I finished my lunch, had some ice cream and I’m writing the blog… so chill, I got this…..

Yesterday evening was an out of the ordinary one, both my mother and my mother-in-law were at the hospital! THE SAME ONE!!! So my older brother and my wife had a busy night….poor them…

My sortie today, well I ran out of pain killers (I am popping them like candies), alkacrap and other essential to me, so I needed to hit my local pharmacy…  needless to say that I also bought chocolates, candies, waffles as my youngest was with me and she fancied those things then and there….Can’t say no to my girls.. And like always when you come home you realize that you forgot stuff!! I forgot, shrimps, wine, beer, bbq stuff… Yeah this is a long weekend for us here in Quebec; we are celebrating La St-Jean (st-John). So Sunday I will take out a flag, start the grill and cook something!! We are going to be having some good weather, so I will drink to my Quebeckers host and eat like the cochon (pig) that I am…. Next weekend I will do it all over again for Canada, come July 4^th I’ll toast George and his posse ending on the 14 of July by decapitating chicken and singing French songs…Oh yeah, Celia was right….. La vida es un carnival…

Take care folks!

I was made for you

Hello!

HEY!! It only took me 2 years to make it to 50k page views…. And even though comments to my blog are few and far apart, I know you guys read it because I can analyze statistics!!! And they tell a lot; for example, South Korea was following me quite often for a while…. And who was hitting a South Korean nurse at the time??? Who the F knows! All I know is that she wasn’t sexually satisfied and would read my blog to find comfort on my writing… eventually she got married because that country stopped coming round here all of a sudden…. So as you can see I know how to read stats and I wanted to say "thank you" to you all; I promise I’ll be around for a while….that of course pending me making it rich with my my Quantum lottery predictionator…just a matter of time people…just a matter of time….

Take care folks!

And God created woman

Hello!

I told you waiting for my bath guy was going to pay off!.... But first, it still an inferno round here, thank God for the dude or dudette who invented A/freaking C!!!

Now my bath guy, well after being alone, looking, hunting for the perfect woman who would put out and still clean the house, he found her!!! My guy has a “blonde” (girlfriend). But what he was looking for is not exactly what he got!....Noooo… Apparently this girl has 5 kids, all but one still lives at home; and she’s on the successful side: Writer of children books, painter…yeah>….He found true love, he's seeing $tar$... they go out on dates and play hanky panky and do  sexual shenanigans….  I’m happy for him but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that if she was the successful one it was probably (just probably, a slim chance) her that was going to be wearing the pants on his relationship….. Hey!... I’m sick, that’s why I don’t wear the pants!....

Take care folks!

To the point

Hello!

Good day folks….

The nurse came this morning and did a MacGyver job on my wound, he was missing material and should bring it here in the afternoon.  Right now I’m just waiting for my bath guy to arrive and begin his functions on my persona….Plus I hope he has some juicy gossip so that I may have something to feed the masses brains….keep you posted on that one…

This was a quickie folks…see you later!

I am melting

Hello!

Well it was a hot day today, I wouldn’t be caught dead out there…it’s 1:30PM and we got a temperature, with the humidity factor, of 38c! I know that some a_hole is probably saying that this is a point of perspective only and therefore it doesn’t count….Well to that i say: eat sherbet and die a_hole!! It is hot hot hot!! I’m pretty sure a lot of people are hating me for staying inside doing F_all in the comfort of an A/C room playing with myself… no, I’m playing with your twisted little minds dreaming of new shit to say…

Take care folks!

PS BTW, Summer is here! Enjoy it!...this message applies to the northern hemisphere of the globe…

Apologies where they are due

Hello!

A FB friend posted the picture besides and he got some “Likes” for it….Well in the state I’m in, I was blunt and truthful and commented that a solar energy spill is not called a nice day, it’s called a freaking solar flare and you best be praying that it doesn’t affect the Earth or your electronic gadgets will cease to work…. I feel bad now; I blame it all on the 25% of 16k thing….You see?! Whoever said that for every action there’s an asshole behind it was right…sorry Greenpeace, my bad…promise I’ll save a red ant one day…

Take care folks!

PS Oh man o man am I going to hell in a handbasket….

Prostituting a dream

Hello!

Good something…..

Well here I am after the meeting feeling a bit more fueked up after the explanations that my occupational therapist gave on the “why” there is $2,500 dollars missing on the grant that was given to me….BS BS BS!! That’s all I have to say!! She claims that it’s always like that, the person benefitting from the magnanimous grant to modified the place must always dish out 25%.....I GOT NO 25% of $16000!...what happens now brains?! Oh yeah I’m sorry, I can always ask a society such as MS Canada to see if they give out grants……or maybe I’ll prostitute myself to make the cash or…or..wait, that sounds good…stop it Chuck, stick to the business at hand….the point is I need to come up with 2.5k to complete the work…The occ therapist had the cojones to ask the landlord for the money, she(therapist) was politely, in a politically correct way, given the finger…. J…

But that whoring for cash is attractive to me…maybe I should wax my body and change name…

Take care Tijuana!

PS no I am not depressed, nor sad, nor anything... like my little brother says "What can you do? That's life...", beside i might be getting a new bed from the CLSC, so all it's not lost...

I'll find you

Hello!

Shit shit shit! I was putting order in my pictures and I stumble on a couple ones that made me cried and others that made me realize that if I come back after I die I will make it a point to find her and make her  fall in love with me….Why is life  so short?....so complicated?....soooo argh!? Granted, it is not guaranteed that I will stumble on her again and that she will be available for me but it doesn’t matter, I will come back over and over again till we can be together, I will find her again….we still got 3.5 billion years to go, sooo I got time….

Take care folks!

La zarzamora

Hello!

First cousins marriages...oh yeah...

Hey!!! Those stories about us (my family) having gipsy blood aren’t probably old wives tales after all! Since I got time, my family tree has taken giants leaps since I started looking into it… A year has gone bye and a lot of stories have been dismissed, others have been confirmed and lots of them have been correctly placed into a historical time line…and now the gipsy thing is clearing up!

I was looking left and right, consulting genealogy documents, digging deep into places that very few of us venture into… when suddenly, there it was; A lead! OMG!! My Big Fat American Gipsy Wedding came streaming with information that has launched my investigation into the gipsy world!! No I’m not plugging the show here, let me explain what I found out and then you will also say: “things that make you go hmmm…”

Season finally last night and there was a scene where a brother goes to the grave of her sister; and as tradition has it, like all Romanichal gipsies, families are buried together (according to the narrator of the show)….. WTF?? My 2^nd great-grandmother, her brother,  my great-grandmother and her sister (the daughters of my 2^nd great-grandmother) are all buried together!!! This is a wow factor that I don’t know how I’m going to prove or disprove it… I don’t think there is a database with gipsy people… All I know is that I started snooping around with my contacts; who knows my clan and I could literally start “My big fat family story”…because they’re all fat and stuff… now the zarzamora song makes sense...

…….Olé…

Take care folks!

PS Spanish/Jewish/German/Gipsy...oh yeah, I'm pretty fcked up!

The disabled guy story

Hello!

Good morn-after to you all…

Yes I only posted once yesterday but I had a busy morning on the phone with my landlord, my occupational therapist and my postpartum depression (no offense to anyone out there)….You see, this certificate they have given me is draining my illusions; and instead of having an answer by my occ. Therapist, I feel like she has left me all alone in the boat! Maybe it’s me that is expecting too much but if I had the job that my occ, has, I would have answers or a direction for you…Instead I get phrases that are extremely vague: “I know it’s not the full cash but I heard of associations that could help you…blah…blah…blah”….

Okay, WHICH ONES?!

It would be good if she gave me a solid lead and not just stories.. I am not looking for Big Foot here or the Loch Ness Monster; give me something tangible!! Now I don’t know if what I was granted is enough to cover the work, we’ll see about that since all those telephone calls amounted to a meeting tomorrow morning to talk about the work and who is doing it….

Take care folks!

Marco?

Hello!

Good day to you all….

Aaah youth! So full of hope, so full of energy, so full of idiotic questions/statements/realizations….

At least my daughter… This weekend, there were some far fetch questions thrown my way that I couldn’t answer them even if I tried; and the realization she came up with! WOW I’m proud of that one:

-          “Did you know that Marco Polo was 1 man only?!”

-          ”??”

-          “Yeah! People always say that there’s Marco and Polo”

I had to explain to her the principle of the game…

But wait wait, there's more....

We were seing TV and a commercial for Vagissil  came up and she launched a question that should have gone to her mother, who was standing 2 feet away from her, to me:

-"Daddy? What's that for?"

I told her that last I checked, I had no vagina and that this is something she should consult with her mother, a doctor or Google!! Even my wife was surprised over the whole situation...

I tell ya...that kid makes me crack....

Broken promises

Hello!

I know I know, pupu caca happy father’s day out the window….

It’s just that it’s really hot out there and come Tuesday, it’s going to be +42c (humidity factor) so my days are going to be inside looking out….And I have to play my lotto numbers!!!...what am I going to do?!....

And then there was the Wallenda deception on Friday… first of all let me assure you that I am not bitching about the Wallenda clan, no they have more cojones than I will ever have!! I’m bitching here about the way the walking on a tight rope over Niagara was handle; with deception! As you recall that day my daughter had a fit against me because I did not believed in anything according to her. Well that night we were united to celebrate human achievements together; that day I was going to show her that I still believed in human kind. That night was not going to happen!! Look, I saw the news the day Karl Wallenda fell to his death while crossing a rope suspended feets (a shit load) from the ground; he died like he lived! So when another Wallenda was going to redeem his name by crossing Niagara Falls, I was there!!!... and then the ABC interview with the walker…blah blah…walking….blah blah…harness …blah blah…not me, my crew…etc etc…. WTF?!! He’s going to have a safety rope?! If he falls, he’s going to be OK?! OMG, there is no Santa Claus Virginia! My incredulity had been justified to my girl…. Not everything is what it seems to be.. Superman flies because he carries a jet engine on his back and unlike popular belief, the guy is Canadian!!  I know, blasphemy, right?... I’m a freaking moron for spreading lies. I should be in the no-fly list, I should be a persona non-grata…. okay, and basketball was not invented at McGill university in Canada…Look, all I am saying is that I was disappointed by the whole ordealIf he fails, he’s going to be OK?! If he , now the guy is going to walk across the Grand canyon and I don’t think I’ll be there to see it happen…

Take care folks…. A safety harness...?... what’s next a safety net?

PS Thank God for PVR and it's magic to fast forward...

Weekend pause

Hello!

Good Sunday folks...


I am not going to bitch today, it is a special day after all for some of us and seeing that it is, I will be be in my best behavior....soooo...Happy father's day to all of us that have the honor of being a dad! Also be kind to your kids, love them, help them, cherish the moments because time flies and soon they will leave the house and will be choosing a place for you to stay at.... So be nice! and to all of those who don't have the chance or do not want to be a dad, I wish them well....

Happy North American father's day!!

Confessions of a senile man

Hello!


Good weekend folks...I'll jump right into mt post today...


...


Maybe it's time for me to start believing in something, maybe I should wait for Santa on the 24 and believe that anything is possible if you wish for it; you know, that dreams come through if you believe in them....


why so worry about this?


I dunno, maybe because my daughter wants me to believe in something, anything....


First of all let me state that for the longest time I have been a very incredulous man; I'm the type of guy who didn't believe that your kid needed medicine late one night and you were willing to give me a check for $50 dollars if I give you $20 dollars cash; all of this because the banks were closed and you had lost your  bank card.....no, that's not me....


You see the whole story started because she has a friend who wanted something so bad, she wrote it hundreds of times in a paper then attached it to some balloons, let it be drifted through the air and then her wish came through! Well she saw my face and immediately stop her story, telling me that she could see by the look on my face that I didn't believe in the story and then basically stormed out of the room stating that sometimes she wishes I believed in something....ouch! I told her I did believed in some stuff and I did believe in some people but she didn't believe me....


Then at night, the Wallenda rope walking kinda showed why I had lost faith in people....




Take care folks!




PS Don't worry, Wallenda will be tacled in my other post....

Looking at my afternoon

Hello!

According to the vet Olivia is doing much better and will not be needing an operation…he would like to see her in a month for an x-ray…..thank you Universe, I owe you one….ok, maybe many…

Well the inspector hasn’t called me back yet, he’s probably taken the day off and who can blame him it’s such a beautiful day outside that come later on I will go out and enjoy he sun….I think I’ll buy some gum, it feels like a gum day….

Take care folks!

Modifying a dream

Hello!

Good Friday folks…

Olivia just left for her veterinary appointment which I hope she’ll ace.

Now yesterday’s last post was a positive/negative one, and after sleeping on it I called the inspector to get more info on the permit. First of all the amount granted is half of what I was told I could get…it’s okay, better than a kick in the ass as my brother would put it. But when I was over the shock of the money thing I noticed that the ones that had won the contract were the landlords!! WTF?? They never submitted a quote!! How come they get the money?! At this point I have left messages to the inspector and my ergo-therapist to find out what happened….. I am happy that it finally went through, but why the landlords?....Oh well, beggars can’t be choosey…

Take care folks!

Olivia, my dreams and I

Hello!

I just came back from outside and it was awesome. I was out there with Olivia that seems to be getting stronger every day. Tomorrow she will be going to the vet for a check up and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all is well....I will keep the post short as tomorrow I have to talk to you about the modifications to my place....it's good, but not that good....sigh...

Take care folks!

Quiet on the main front

Hello!

Gorgeous day out there!! Nothing but sun and not too hot, so I will be visiting the great outdoors as soon as one of my slav…er…daughters comes! Today was a calm afternoon, no phones, no extra visits, no anything….slooow and steady  like a Thursday should be…I think that I will take Olivia out with me; poor baby has been stuck inside doing f_all! Trust me baby, I know how you feel…

Take care folks!

The bath giver

Hello!!

Good day…

I’m alive!!! They came and fix the chair at around 9:30AM today, just as the tech was finishing…. My nurse came to change the catheter and poke me left and right; plus she was nice enough to sit me on the chair!! Now the only thing remaining is my bath which should take place in about an hour or so…

And to hell with schedules!!  An hour and a half have passed since my last sentence, just as I was ready to post the text my bath lady, cause it was a lady today, came in and did the nasty with me! What else are you going to call somebody washing the dirt and grind of you? Even my meals on wheels lady was pleasantly surprise that I had a woman instead of a guy, she commented that it must be more fun with a lady than with a guy… I think she thought that my bath guy and I were lovers or something….

Take care folks!

Crash goes the chair

Hello!


Well good folks, it happened! I am stranded to bed because the stupid chair broke...kaput!! The tilting mechanism gave up.... Thanks God for my girl not having school because I would have been at a 45 degree angle for a while....and they're coming to fix it until tomorrow... I also left a message to my occupational therapist to see where's my new chair at; so until I get the chair fix I am horizontally blogging....


Take care folks!

MS and the hands

Hello!

Went out to enjoy the sun, my daughter didn’t have school today, and take some “D” vitamins for my body…and…and stupid iPod keeps on ringing with alerts of FB!!! All I did was put a comment on little J’s mom and now there’s no stopping the stupid thing…the iPod not little J’s mom…

Take care!

PS the hands are shot!!! Stupid MS!

Still half naked stories

Hello!

Good day to you all….

You know, people that know me can vouch that I’m more of a “..sex till I die..” person, an “I’ll bang anything that moves; don’t move!” type of guy, but yesterday I wanted to be more like the masses; more like you! No, no offence intended here; I just wanted to feel what a true patriot felt like when cheering for his team… So for a second I let myself go and cheered for my country in last night’s game against the evil Mexican death squad of whom my soon to be Mexican ex-wife is proud of…. well the “it’s not you, it’s me” theory came into play and we lost the game…

I believe that the teams that are closest to my heart lose because of me…. Look at my hockey team, my football team, my baseball team and now my soccer team, they all are doing fine and as soon as my interest is aroused, they start losing....always the same, it never fails…..needless to say that Mexico cheated, but that’s another story…

Take care folks!

It's called an "offside" you pathetic ref

Ne me quitte pas

Hello!

“Elle te fera changer la course des nuages, balayer tes projets, vieillir bien avant l'âge. Tu la perdras cent fois dans les vapeurs des ports, C'est écrit... ”

And that’s the type of afternoon it’s been, thinking, dreaming, remembering, wondering…sigh.. I hate days like today! Music is the door to your soul people and every one leads you to a different wonderful place… You just have to have the courage to open it. 

My day is done, goto play my lottery tomorrow and hope to win the dam thing, if not to fulfill my dreams at least to achieve the ones of my girls…

Take care folks!

Aaah shit “..Moi je t'offrirai des perles de pluie venues de pays où il ne pleut pas. Je creuserai la terre jusqu'après ma mort pour couvrir ton corps d'or et de lumière je ferai un domaine où l'amour sera roi où l'amour sera loi où tu seras reine…”

Melodramatic dog walk

Hello!

Had a bit of a mini crisis there for a second…Olivia wanted to go out but nobody was here!  I thought my eldest was coming back at midday but no…I called her, she reacted bad, I told her off, she call her mother crying, he mom call me upset, I call her back and apologized…then I remember I pay somebody to come and help 1 hour a day…I called that person and she took the dog out… all of this while my daughter is coming back because there is no school in the afternoon….what an afternoon!

Take care folks!

Excusing the past

Hello!

Tuesday folks, make it count out there….

So yesterday between my dreams, my hope, my gibberish, I had time to snoop around and find information for my family tree…I finally used Ancestry.com to look around for anything that they might have. Well good old luck was on my side….

Remember the story about mt great-grandfather having left my great-grandmother and how he became the father of my cousin’s grandmother?? Yeah, I know: an :Uh?” moment indeed! But it's not important to the story here, for that matter it's not important to you or me; the point is that my great one was right! I too would have probably ditch the b…er.. looks are not important in life people…sorry great-grandmother, but you didn’t look that good….if the US immigration services is right.  I found her border crossing card dated from 1918; makes perfect sense since my mother said that my grandfather use to haul meat trays for the lover, the sex slave, the "I want you to change my diaper" girl (It's OK, I'm not related to her. I can fantasize here...)....my grandfather was 13 years old, my mother claimed that he was 15… sooo she (my mother) nailed it! Also, she died in San Francisco, the year my mother claims….. Below is her pic and you tell me that she’s 45 in that photo…maybe I am missing a screw somewhere…

My great-grandmother 45 years of age...and I'm Will Smith..

The sex slave pf my new found hero

Take care folks!

PS if you tell my mother I will deny it....

The "another week" post

Hello!

And finally there’s Faceboob…I mean book….

I participate to several games on FB, Castle Ville, Bubble Something, Diamond dash, several games…but for the record, I don’t play them, I just like to give lifes to the people that request them… I know, you’re probably wondering why I am saying this… well it is because if long term disability insurance start asking questions on why I play a lot, I want them to know that I don’t play at all!!...soo, just putting it out there…

Well my oldest had her first exam… the school year is really over! My girls will be off, we get to go vacationing and do fun stuff!... I am being sarcastic folks, the savings my wife had for their vacation were all used on Olivia; and me going out on this heat? Are you freaking kidding me??!...no, we’re staying indoors in this climate controlled 5 ½….. When you get lemons…..bitch a little…

Take care folks!

PS It seems that they are finally going to start demolishing out there...so in comes my BBQ when they do...

PPSS... sorry Mark from Diggs, but the application said it was your fault and I'm having an off day...my bad dude...

PPPSSS ...I know but I have to say it... I found a pic of my great-grandmother...My mom was right, she passed away in 1957...in San Francisco...Plastic surgery...

Bipolar explanation

Hello!

It is hot out there--- I know what you’re thinking, bipolar, right? Well, no, not really. As I said I am having an off day but life must go on…. I’m not the center of the Universe and we must keep on going….so no I’m not bipolar--- Okay, so it is freaking hot out there.. I think with the humidity factor we’re at +31c already… I think this is where MS people just melt away…

I thought I wasn’t going have diddly squat to say but my bath guy is a dog lover so we talked a lot about dogs, more precisely Olivia. The dude felt sorry for her and asked questions on her being and how she was copping. He also let me know that at the dog park where she goes, they have placed big signs now asking people to close the door after they get into the dog park… made me feel mushy inside…

Take care folks!

PS I almost tilted the freaking wheelchair with me in it...ay vey, that would have sucked! First my mother called 911 this morning, then me?!!!...they wouldn't be happy...

Monday's blues

Hello!

Good beginning of week folks….

Today I feel a tad, just a tad, morose…I don’t know the cause of it, I mean this year was promising to be a great one. Modifications to my place were going to happen, new wheelchair was going to materialized, walking was a dream that was going to become reality… a whole bunch of positive things were on the horizon, within grasp! Have any of my aspirations concretised themselves? No, not by a long shot… And I am not giving up on them, but they are not happening as fast as I want them to do so…I find it bleah….

I know, everybody has off days and this is one more for me in a life time…bath time got to go…

Take care folks!

Singing the blues

Hello!

Shazam!!

Yeah, it seem it’s the latest thing  my daughter uses to see what’s the name of the music playing on the TV; and my wife has several requests all the time. But yesterday we put the application to the ultimate test, if it would figure it out we would considered the program to be borderline witchcraft. I mean, fck DOS 6.22, fck Windows, fck Lotus, fck all of them! Something that can figure out what’s the name of the song just by listening to it, that’s magic! But it still had to pass our test: Figurine out what was I singing! I know that the test has probably been done before, but I am a Ph.D. from Montreal University with an angelical voice (Pretty hot Dude) so if it knows what I’m singing, the thing had Merlinesque powers.

Well it failed! First we thought the reason was because I sang a Spanish song but then I sang The Story and it still didn’t pick it up. Major disappointment folks, the application failed to deliver, even my family was floored because the thing was pupu caca… No, they were not laughing at me and my off key rendition of the song, that was part of the plan, see if it could figure out an off key song; well it can’t! Therefore this app is trash…stupid app! Who died and made you a singing judge?!

I had time to spare, what do you want?!

Take care folks!

Vampire 101

Hello!

Good Sunday people of the net…

That movie Breaking Wind, sorry thinking out loud here while Olivia farted ---bad dog, very bad dog---, breaks every vampire rule out there!! I mean. Seriously?! Taking the plane to travel somewhere?! ---- They can travel faster than a plane! I would ask the girl, get on top of me and hang on; we’re going to China!! And then the crap about feeling bad because I hurt you when having sex, dude I would have deflower that thing so many time is not even funny…AND JUST THE PART ABOUT VAMPIRE HAVING SEX?!...NO!!! Anne Rice rules state the vampires dos and don’ts!!!! It’s like defying the laws of physics…. Not happening!!! Showing your face in plain daylight?! Teen wolves?! Able to change your looks?!... No no no and NO!! What is this a low budget film?!......I tell ya, if you gonna attempt to talk about vampire try to follow the rules…

Take care folks!

Inside again

Hello! Well Olivia is here and she seems lost….she has 4 medications that she has to take and most important, my girls are happy. Made some burgers on the Q and soon we will get to see that fake vampire married that girl and… I really don’t like the movie….I hope time passes fast so that Olivia’s incident goes in the pass and they (girls) can be happy again…

 Take care folks!

Sunny day

Wasup? Me outside trying to type on my phone and waiting for Olivia! Yay my baby is back! I hate this phone! Take care!

Friday's Bolshevik revolution

Hello!

Can’t wait to see Olivia tomorrow… I miss her! I know it’s going to be different the first couple of months, but I’m sure that she will be up and at them by the beginning of next school year…scary… the girls are finish with the school year 2 weeks from now!! Next year one goes to secondary 3 (9^th grade) and the other finishes 6^th grade….sheeez, my oldest nephew is getting his license soon…Aargh! Where has time gone?! I remember that only yesterday I was playing my freaking drum set…I wonder which of us will get to be a grandfather first? I got my money on my little brother’s kids… horny little bastards….

Well that was my week for you, although a crappy day they are saying that the next few will be hell round here… +26 and more, and this isn’t counting the humidity factor…Thank God for A/C! I don’t think I’ll bbq anytime soon, I don’t think I can tolerate the heat….que sera sera folks!

Take care and happy weekend…

PS thanks for reading and France, you remind me of someone that I once knew….

French vanilla dreams

Hello!

Maaaan them vet people are making a shit load of cash!! I called today and they were too busy to take my call, apparently a vet would call me back; and when she did it was to tell me the same as yesterdat: she’s getting better but she’s still in pain! $300 bucks a night!! I should have been a vet folks….

And I thought I was going to have a quiet afternoon watching physics/science shows, I was wrong; I had forgotten that my oldest didn’t have school…. When I started to watch a show about the Universe, questions and comments started to rain…

-          “What’s the Milky way?”

-          “Why is Pluto no longer a planet?”

-          “Wow! We’re made of stars?”

-          “My teacher said that the light travels fast”

She’s in her second phase of the terrible twos!! Needless to say I didn’t enjoy my show to the fullest, but it was ok I knew most of the stuff they talked about. Plus she made my lunch, so I’m bitching for nothing here.

Hey, before I go I want to say thanks to everyone who reads me… my traffic has increased lately and I’m happy about that…Funny the things that make me happy now…oh wait, there’s also ice cream… which I’m yelling my ass off for but that little shit is in deaf mode…Oh com’on! If you have kids you probably said the same thing I said when they were born: “COOL! I got slaves!!”

Take care Folks!!

PS Having 2 floors doesn’t help either…

On the verge of greatness

Hello!

Friday, we made it, I made it!!...sort of..

Folks, I wish you all the best out there to you and yours. As a recap of my life, well this week started off with Olivia getting hurt followed by a couple of stain clothes items and finished today with an all out brawl just like the one that the Greek politician had during that interview…

Sometimes I really hate that woman, today she made me just a tad closer to my breaking point!!! How dare she offends me about me criticising people on TV??! All I said was: “The woman giving the weather looks fat because of the clothes she’s wearing” .. She told me to look at myself in the mirror.. I HAVE AND I LOOK GOOD!!!...Plus I’m not the one on TV, I am happy being in the background! FYI woman: not my fault if I have fashion sense; me rolling half naked in my place is a choice! Plus if you're in the tube, you are going to be judge..BTW, that was an awful combination you were wearing to work toaday...just saying...

So a word of caution to all of you TV/Movie personalities be prepared to be criticized by me if I see you on the TV, the movies or in person… I am a god when it comes to fashion!! And I don’t care what the middle age crazy Mexican woman says…..I must be PMSing today, _uck it! It’s Friday!

The great Mitzy has spoken....

Take care folks!

Finding Higgs

Hello!

Here I was looking at my shows when I was hit by the popular physics formula dictated by Newton:  Sleep…er.. I mean The state of being at rest and Zzzzzz….

I know, I’m a lazy bastard. First I’m real eager to expand my knowledge but the information is so intense that I must have a safety valve somewhere in my brain that must go “Now now there sweet cheeks, this is TMI for you. Just sit on the chair and look pretty, that is your job…. Shut down the body boys!!”. I swear it wasn’t me!!  I saw the remainder of a show I started to see yesterday about Neutrinos and how they have been clocked at faster than the speed of light, then I saw some parts of the God’s particle, gravity sucks people, and then I started to see a show about Dr. Michio Kaku and how there are multi universes and then..SEE, SEE!? Just like you! I started to doze off and next thing you know…Dreamland and fck physics! I  I think that Einstein must be laughing at me…  Some things are better left alone I guess..

That was my afternoon! I missed it all thanks to a nap induce by physics !

Take care folks!

Things of unimportance

Hello!

And bathed and fed I am….

Just finish having my meals on wheels, ham –yuck- I hate ham but beggars can’t be choosy, and before I start YouTubing my physics shows I decided to drop by for an update ….

First of all. Olivia is doing better, in pain but better. Her mom, aka my wife, will have to learn the ways to take care of her… she’s even talking about taking some time off to take care of Olivia…If I was in her shoes I would put her down….No, not the dog that’s cruel, my wife!...kidding, out of all of us she’s the one who has gotten physically sick because this whole ordeal; she has a heart after all, who knew?!...

My bath guy and his love stories; I think is all in his head… The guy doesn’t let himself go! It’s like his a virgin saving himself for the second coming….I probably would be in my third *GRIN*…Aaah come’on! A sex joke is healthy for you!!.... you guys are so prude I swear…

Take care folks!

Making small chat

Hello!

Good Thursday to you folks….

Another half descent day out there and the lottery escaped me once again… I’m starting to think that I should stop playing the silly game but then I have nightmares that my numbers are going to be called and I will get pissed off; plus Fidel Castro will come in my dreams and tell me “I told you so!”….

My nurse is supposed to come this morning to change my catheter, check my butt, take my pressure, check the suga, blah blah blah…but she hasn’t arrived yet…maybe she won the lottery…naaah….it was a stupid Klingon again!!

I will see you later…

PS is anyone in the world following the news about the nutzoid who chopped the body of a student and mail the body parts all over Canada?

Refreshing

Hello!

Stupid printer doesn't want to print.... I am trying to print a document and the Lexmark piece of *hit keeps on telling me communication error....argh!! I feel pissed off....I will order Scores (chicken) and tell my daughter to unplug the printer...

Take care folks!

OCD and the shirt

Hello!

SALSA Tuesday!... Good sandwich but there is something about sauces that are attracted to my persona… You don’t believe me? Ask the laundry person! Monday was avocado on my shorts, today is salsa on my shirt!! Maybe I should hang naked in my place because every time I look good, I get something on me!!...I hate OCD…Plus taking this shirt off is a pain in the ass…

Take care….I think I’ll take a nap!

PS Yeah I need a nap, I was seeing the guide on the TV and I saw what I thought said "Heavy natal force" and I said to myself: "Man! that must be some heavy birth giving show"...People, it said "Heavy metal force"

Bathing with a girl

Hello!

Good day folks

Middle of the week people….preparing ourselves to have our dog back, we’ll see how that goes…..

Well my bath lady is getting bigger and more exhausted as we go along, I don’t want to jinx it but I think she will have twins… good luck to her… My wife has it against the guy that gives me a bath on Tuesdays, remember that Tuesday and Wednesday I get tagged team, I made the mistake of telling my wife that he believes (my bath guy)  that you shouldn’t pay more at the vet than what you originally paid for your dog…. Boy was she ever pissed off at my bath guy… She was infuriated with him asking if he didn`t know what a family member was and how would he like it if it was him and….her rant went on for ever! Then I told her to calm down because this comment had been made by a guy who had dished out over $600 dollars for his dog when the animal was diagnosed with a dog cough because it hadn`t received the vaccine for it…. That kinda appease her… but don`t diz her baby, she will kill you for it!

Take care folks!

Stoic as a rock

Hello!

Well, time to reflect on the whole Olivia situation…

Mimon

You know folks, there’s different folks on this world and we all act in different ways when face with adversity. Take me for example, I cry at the drop of a dime! If I hear about a baby fly having died while trying to learn to to take flight, I will add sad music as a backdrop in my head and cry my ass off!! I’m a wuz, if I see others cry I will cry along them…I’m an emotional wreck! Olivia’s accident proved it even more….My youngest cried her ass off, my wife was a basket of tears, I cried my head off, we were all thinking the worst….all, except one! My oldest kept her cool and collectiveness intact; always being positive. I never saw the kid cried once; and this is her dog!! No wonder I call her my right hand man, I’m proud that she can keep her coolness in moments like this…...Great job Mimon..... you cold hearten person!

Remind me to hire actors for my funeral….

Take care folks!

PS BBQ DAY!!

It's a Bermuda thing

Hello!

Remember the avocado story of yesterday?

Well at the end of the day I was put to bed and I asked my daughter if there was a piece of avocado on my bed, my chair or anywhere on my persona, I was told confidently enough that there was no avocado present. What the duz??! I swear I had dropped a piece on me during the day and now you tell me it isn’t anywhere to be found?! I’m losing it I gues…

This morning after getting a bath I was asked if I wanted the plaid color shorts or the navy blue ones; I like plaid so I asked for the plaid shorts…..HELLO!... my bath lady asked me if I had crap my pants and I told her no. Why, I asked her….  There was a dark green gooey substance on my shorts… Aaah, the avocado I said out loud and after explaining the story to her I put to bed the mistery of the missing avocado….Bermuda triangle my ass…

Take care folks!

PS Olivia has a small, tiny, fracture on her spine and the doctor recomends against surgery but wants to keep her there for a couple of days for observation...

When angels cry...

Hello!

Good day all…

I cannot lie to you the mood is rather somber at my home… It is hard to comprehend what exactly happened last night, but we must do our best and  keep our chin up while we go through this obstacle life has thrown our way. I know that those of you who love animals and have house pets, dogs, cats, fishes, cucarachas, will understand how a family feels after an event like yesterday’s; however we are holding our hopes high for Olivia today who is going to have her back x-ray to see if she has a fracture.

Now I feel guilty, my wife has had to bring the dog to the vets, she has had to pay the visits, she’s the one crying because her baby is out of commission and she’s looking left and right to see where she could get the cash to help Olivia. It shouldn’t be like this! I should have built some sort of nest egg to take care of such events, I'm the man of the house and my wife shouldn’t be mopping around looking for every penny she can mustard up so she can take care of her baby! Never again! Changes are coming and my wife or kids will never have to go through life being or feeling economically insecure again….

The snowman has spoken….

Take care folks!

PS I will keep you posted on Olivia’s condition as the day progresses…

Olivia

Hello!


Another reason why I hate pets, Olivia just got ran over by a car and it's at the vet. They are going to keep her overnight and my girls, all3 of them, are distraught.... I hate this part right here....

Take care folks!