Saturday, March 31, 2012

March is gone


Hello!

Well day is done and so is the month… Going to see some movies now that my wife is getting, she wants to see Hugo…. Not my cup of tea but what can I do? Maybe it’s a good movie? I’ll keep an open mind… I’ll see you folks next month…

Take care!

Chinese food weekend


Hello!

Good weekend people….

Up and ready to have a mini breakfast as I will be going over to the Chinese restaurant for a buffet at 11:30….I’m going to pig out!! Chinese food… now I know that it’s not the real thing, my daughter is eating the real thing and she will come to let us know what’s it all about… Hoping she took pictures!



Hey little J’s mom is turning 38 or twenty something, not sure but she’s old… smells old… looks old… perhaps electromagnetic guru should star holding auditions for season 2… just saying… Happy bday little J’s mom..

Hey I’m getting sued!! Bell, my old everything provider, sent  me a letter stating that they really mean it this time…. That I should return the TV receivers, lucky for me I got proof that someone signed for the stupid things… Oh BTW, the rice thing for the cellphone of my wife worked… stupid nephew!

Take care happy Saturday!

Friday, March 30, 2012

The sauce


Hello!

Aaarghh!!! I hate eating food with sauces! I’m like a magnet for them, My shirt got pasta sauce all over!!! It was a pain taking the shirt off; that’s why on my first dates I avoid ordering anything with sauces, I hate eating sauces…. I’m sure this is little’s J’s mom’s fault, she read my last post and sent a curse my way..What a bi….biautifull person she is, and she’s super smart….wow, almost forgot that tomorrow is her bday….happy early bday little J’s mom…I will see you tomorrow at the Chinese food pigathon….

Have a good weekend people!!

Little J's mom's fault


Hello!

Why did I put the Utopia pic on my last post?

Well it reflected the results of my blood exams and the visit from my doctor to tell me I was healthy as a horse. A false sense of security, of stability! I mean, we all know what the end game is, right? We will eventually die, croak, transform ourselves into butterflies; Maggots! Whatever you want… so it’s a utopia state of mind…a false sence of security; Take my wife’s cell phone for example….

When you buy a cellphone, it’s like a marriage…for the life of the contract or…or till you find something new, someone new… In the case of my wife, her cellphones have a life expectancy of months, maybe a year tops! Case in point, her cellphone that she got last November (I think) because the other ones had suffer similar faith, drowning, is currently in the R&R… Rice Room!! My stupid nephew, God bless his heart, told her that if ever she got her cellphone wet she should stick it inside a bag full of rice……!?!....it appears rice absorb water pretty dam well; something to do with cooking and the capacity of one cup of rice absorbing 2 cups of water…. Here’s a piece of advice for you dear….how about not dropping the phones (It has to be plural here) in the water??? I know that you constantly jive with your sister and that perhaps both of you have an accord to blame each other in case such “accidents” happen but if you wanted a new phone, you should have asked…I would have said no anyways…

LOveee ya Cellkilla…  

PS I would have taken a picture but she took my cell phone.... I know, I'm praying too...

It's not over till I say it is...


Hello!

Good day to you all…

Just finish my meeting with the doctor and things are not looking good…they are looking great!!! Everything is normal or above normal, nothing is  border line; I’m a healthy fat guy with MS…. Maybe I should put that in my profile.. I’m OK except……yeah the suga thing…..But it might not be my fault, so he is going to look for other medication that might help my diabetes….also my cholesterol needs to go down a bit; and once again NMF (Not My Fault)! My cholesterol readings are normal if we were back in 2009 (2.5), but they change the norm back then and the normal reading for someone with diabetes today should be 1.7x…..so I’m off… So everything seems to be OK, technically I shouldn’t die because of crabs or something silly, heck my prostate is OK too, but I have to work on my diabetes before my kidneys give out…. Which by the way are also normal….so far….

Take care! 

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Grammatically correct Chuck


Hello!

Well truck is gone and I don’t know if they were moving in or out..

This afternoon I was listening to Internet radio and then I was listening to my playlist… Yes, Chuck has a playlist…. I went grammatically nuts!!! A couple of famous groups were using double negative in their songs!! WTF man! I was shocked and I am sure I will never hear these songs the same way again. The faults were found in Spanish songs… my playlist is French, Spanish and English… There is this son were they sing: “..le grito al viento, no contesta nada” (I scream at the wind, he doesn’t answer nothing)…!!!... So if he doesn’t answer nothing –HE FUCKING ANSWERS SOMETHING, RIGHT???!!!---- They could have hired a better lyricist that masters the language….gad I was grumpy sorry….-Love you for a thousand years- REALLY?!....man I hate it when people say silly things…

 Take care pholks!

PS.... I'm getting old...

Teaching English while constipated


Hello!

Holly shit batman!.. there’s a huge truck parc outside my patio door! Somebody is moving in or out of this beautiful or crappy building!!

‘nough said….

My bath guy came and we were debating the effeciancy of the nurses. You see this morning my nurse came to do her usual week stuff when she asked me how was my bowel movement… I told her crappy, I'm constipated; so she suggested I take one or two pink pills (I don’t know what they are called and I ain’t moving to find out)..... ????.... A couple of weeks ago a nurse came and told me that I should only take 1 and this for an extremely short period because they were dangerous;  and now the other nurse is telling me to pop them like candy?! WTF dude! Who’s right and who’s wrong!? So my bath guy suggested I ask my doctor tomorrow, I think my bath guy is wiser than the 2 nurses…

Take care folks!

PS…. And now I will probably teach English to a newly arrive immigrant…first lesson: F_you!....

Thursday's lasagna


Hello!

Good day people…

Thursdayyyy…  I can’t wait for the weekend, although I have one more hurdle to traverse and according to my nurse that came over this morning, I’m going to have a serious powwow with my doctor tomorrow. Oy vey!! What are we going to talk abou? My sugar levels? My MS?? I got some strange shit that has to come out?....Who knows but the truth is that…………… Please remind me that I have a lasagna in the oven and that I must lower/stop the heat in about 30 minutes……… back to tomorrow. So yeah, I got a meeting with the doctor and I am curious to hear what he’s going to say…

My daughter in China is moving city tonight! Apparently she will go to Shanghai where she will do stuff and then travel back to Montreal next week…. I’n happy she’s coming back, the other girl is starting to think that we are slave dyrivers making her do coffee every night…

Take care folks!

PS... shit the lasagna!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stereophonic nap

Hello!

Well it's my last post of the day and I'm doing it from my iTouch but still on my chair... It's really a good cushion but does it suck to write blogs from! My head just tilt downwards and I get really tired. Maybe I should take some air out, maybe that will help?

It was a slow afternoon; I actually was napping most of the afternoon with my wife by the side... Sleeping away, she wasn't feeling very well today, so she took it off; I personally believe she's checking me out to make sure I have no lover...

Take care folks!

The scret is


Hello!

Well, I’ve been reading The Secret by some author that claims that you can get anything you want if you know The Secret… What’s the secret?... *****Spoiler Alert*****  The secret is the law of attraction!! If you want something good you must attract it; if you want something bad you can attract it too…. I want money, since I’m always short on it, but it hasn’t worked yet… Maybe I’m doing it all wrong….. Let’s see my score so far:



Beauty?... Only in my head!
Money?... Okay… I don’t know what that is!
Health?... Seriously?!... Com’on I got MS!
Happiness?... I fake my smile!

The thing about The Secret is that you must ask the Universe for what you want and as people who read my blog regularly know…The Universe and I don’t see eye to eye in many things…. But since Monday I decided to change and it worked! I’m down $476 dollars for the operation of Olivia but I think that’s what I wanted… I guess…

Take care folks!

The kid and TGWC


Hello!

Good day folks….

Well it had to be done! I miss her a lot and an email from her teacher didn’t cut it for me.  Old Chuck here just called China to speak with his girl (12 hours difference)…Awkward!!!  The hotel has an answering system that speaks to you in Chinese first and at the end it offers you to continue in English by pressing “1”…..Thank God for an international language, don’t care if it’s English, French or Spanish; I just want to understand!


My kid is fine and she likes China very much but it seems she cannot tolerate heights that well….. The Great Wall of China!! Really!!??? You couldn’t go up TGWC…short for The Great Wall Of China….She went half across the world to see majestic beauties and she couldn’t climb one of them and take a picture?! How tall is that thing, 1000 feet?!? Kid, you will probably never get a chance like this and you get vertigo?!?

Just like your uncles that are afraid of heights and don’t like strip clubs…

I’m happy you’re OK and having fun….

PS I could have sworn it was Jackie Chang who was answering the hotel phone….

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Cushion stories

Hello!

Bush, get it? I'm bushed?!?
Yup! I need a taller desk, my head tilts every time I tried blogging…stupid cushion tilts my body too straight, but it’s comfortable.; I don’t know what I’ll do. L….My wife is going to pick up post operated Olivia today, I hope she’s OK cause my wallet isn’t; I already warn my brother because he’s going in a couple of weeks to operate his dog…..

Other than that, I will see you tomorrow…kinda bushed now….

CMR stories

Hello!

Good day folks…

I’m back from the CMR and do I have stories to tell you in this post…

People person me

Well no, I am not a people person! I got on the bus and I wasn’t the only one that was going to be riding the bus today… We we’re picking up some other wheelchair people and apparently I knew them…… Yeah one at a time they came in and told me that it had been a while since we saw each other. I just nodded and smile; one of them even remembered my name! It seems I met them at the sugar shack last year (??); I played along but thank God for loud buses…

I might not be a people person but I know how to BS…



The 5516463 home

I got on the bus bringing me back home and was all happy with my new toy (air cushion). Plus, my therapist gave me the good news that I was probably going to get a new wheelchair with the “Turn on a dime” mechanism….Obviously I was drooling; It’s like saying you’re going to buy a Porsche 911 to a 16 year old….I was dreaming my head off! But back to my story; The person driving my bus was a lady and last I remember she’s a good driver. Boy my memory sucks! Evel Knievel drives like an old lady compare to this girl!! She was honking and swearing at other drivers who would dare use the reserve lane…she was mad!! A couple of times we came close to crashing the bus; hitting pedestrians!!!!  All I could hear in my head was: "I'm on a highway to hell..."

I know that I should probably complain but what if she comes back and gets even??... I’m afraid, she was a scary lesbian… she told me she was okay!

Well I found a flaw with the cushion: it tilts me too much in front so I get tired too easily….

Monday, March 26, 2012

Air suspension

Hello!

Good evening folks...

Hope you're all having a wonderful evening... It's freaking cold tonight and it is going to dip to -8c tonight. Perfect weather for a warm blanket tonight and some hot coffee with something sweet... I am blogging tonight because I forgot to mention that tomorrow morning I will be off to the CMR (wheelchair place) because they are going to give me an air cushion for my back, getting red dots on my back because of pressure points with the current cushion. I will be off until the afternoon while they fix the thing; I also have to speak with some one regarding my RT64 and modification to it's programming....

See you tomorrow afternoon...

Maybe, just maybe, I will speak my mind off tomorrow...

Big mouth

Hello!

Just had a philosophical discussion with my better have…

I’m the type of guy that believes in “Live and let live”; what I do shouldn’t matter to you and what you do, well…I don’t give a hoot. But my wife is anal…she hates it when I shoved food in my mouth! People, it taste better!! I’m the type of guy who will shoved in his mouth many popcorn kernels at the same time; I counted 22 grapes in my mouth once! I like to put lots of food and then slowly bite it. Today’s discussion was because I took mant of the Japanese peanuts she brought back from Mexico and “slowly” chew them off!...she took a fit..She said I had a big mouth and that I should learn how to eat my food properly with my big mouth… Hey, I’m not the one talking away….

Take care!

PS I once put a whole doughnut in my mouth at once....BTW, I had one plate of nuts... she's on her 3rd

The money shot

Hello!

Kashing!!!!!!!!!
Well…Olivia went to the veterinary today so she could be neuter. They had quoted me a price of $250 dollars for the operation and seeing that this has been her vet ever since we have her, I didn’t want to shop around for prices….it has to be done! So my wife took her because the place is not wheelchair friendly, besides I didn’t want to deal with the vet; little did I know that the so called vet was going to deal with my emotionally unstable wife…and she was going to get it from the vet!!

The phone rang and it’s my wife with the story that the $250 dollars I was quoted was a mirage!!

- "Uumm, what you talking about?"

Apparently the vet was selling everything to her, from a laser operation to the serum that would keep the dog warm after the operation. The new price tag was going to be $620 dollars!!

- WTF?!! I don’t have that type of cash?!

NO! When I had dogs they never got these options…I could hear that my wife was borderline sad…it was her baby going under the knife, sorry the zapper, and money was no object to my wife…-Why do I get into shit like this??!-.....After much deliberation, I made my first manly decision of the year: OK! The laser and the serum!! That’s it!!! Little did I know that the “that’s it” was going to cost me $476 dollars… “Not the $620…” as my wife put it but not the $250 that I was expecting either…

I should have become a sex worker…make some extra cash to pay the vet….

PS and now my doctor wants to come and visit me Friday with my latest blood exam results…apparently I’m dying, but then again so is everybody…people, once you get out of the womb depreciation kicks in…

You got a permit to read this?

Hello!

Good day folks…

Well a soso day out there and on the chili side.


It appears the big noise about destroying all the grass around the building isn’t happening…the landlord overlooked the fact of the matter that there are rules in this city, this province, the freaking country!!! Here in Quebec nobody farts unless you have the proper permit my friend!..... I’m sure the landlord thought that since it’s her building, she could modify its looks at will. Well this isn’t a third world country; you want to change the look of your place? Pay the piper bitch!! So I take it this is the reason why I don’t hear or see any workers out there slaving away…. The country/province is nice and safe to live in, but everything has a price and rules and regulations are a must here…that and the fact that the country is a tad, just a tad, boring……Zzzzzz

Uh?! Sorry about that! Boring, yes yes… This morning part of the news on the channel I see the news in, they were talking about a guy who lost his digital camera (in the water) while paddle surfing and how a guy found it 15 miles away!!!......Seriously!!!.....They interviewed the guys for about 10 minutes!! Then they pass another lame story that I didn’t care about….Now I’m not dissing Canada, I just think that there’s some news out there that they don’t bring it to us for fear we would wake up….

Take care folks!!

PS  and you think permits are expensive, wait till I tell you about vets and what they charge to neuter a dog…

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Who's on first?

Hello!

Good day folks…

Well my daughter touched Chinese floor at 2:4ish PM today, meaning while I was sleeping… I think… it’s freaking complicated folks!! The hour changed is throwing my brain off course!! The flight was 13 hours, the plane left Chicago at 12PM (1PM here because of the zone), so if you add 13 to 12 you get 1AM or 2AM because of the zone, right??? No, no, fck no!! The plane got there on the 25th at around 2PM!! My daughter was technically with sunlight for 24 hours…..and when I tried to understand it, I lost it….worst the teacher sent me an email telling me that they got there safe 4 hours ago….and now I am freaking out with all of this time change shit….I wasn’t made to be a tme traveller folks….


Take care, see you Monday…unless it’s Tuesday where you are…perhaps April or something…I need an Aspirin…

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Mexican blubber people

Hello!

Seriously?!...No, I’m not going to “Good something folks” you today! I am seriously wondering about my choices in life! Maybe I was born twisted and therefore deserve whatever I get….here’s the story…

This morning my wonderful Mexican blubber mouth wife goes and drops our daughter to the airport; Coming back she brings Mc D’s for breakfast and her mother… okay, I’ll be a good son-in-law and shoot the breeze with her. I told her that I had bought little J’s bday gift; I told her it was an Elmo CD where Elmo says the name of little J….My in-law was pleased to hear this (brownie points!!!) and asked me some more about the gift…..suddenly I hear thunderous thumping on the stairs, it is my wife wanting to know what was it that we were talking about…..she has a sixth or seventh sense…. I told her that I had gotten the Elmo cd for little J’s bday, I thought she would be please; her first words were, and in front of her mother, “Fuck You” (no mames!)….yes dear, I love you too…. Needless to say her mother told her to lower her tone just a tad…

F_ME!!

She told me that little J’s mom bought the CD already!! WTF?? I asked her how she had heard about it and she told me that she had told her… People I swear that I had told my wife :  ”When I get pay at the end of the month I will buy the CD”…I swear!!! Well miss “I have to say something or it’s going to come out as a fart” told her sister and now she is getting the CD...nay she got the CD... and I am getting the CD…little J is going to get confused on who the real Elmo is….I swear I’m not getting involve with her side anymore, if her sister needs a kidney and I’m the only one who can give her one, well though luck toots… …


Take care folks!

Friday, March 23, 2012

I am pissed

Hello!

 I’m in a bad mood, so piss off…

I have it against everybody in my life and then some! Why in heavens name was I cursed with this stupid disease?! I could be out there; I should be out there!! Moronic Universe!! And I’ll make you a bet that there’s no afterlife or a freaking Mulligan for that matter!! No way Jose, this is it! I have to play the card that was dealt to me; somebody’s having a good chuckle at my expense…..

Onm with the show...

I will go and purchased that camera for my daughter and I will use it to take a picture of my building because according to the rumor mill everything will change come Monday. The owners will dismantle every part of grass that adorns the building to replace it by terraces, left and right. This is what a tipsy neighbor told me…she was high on life and probably wanted to do the disable guy as a last hurrah before she crocked….I told you I was in one of those moods…

Take care!

Thinking of a tittle

Hello!

Good day folks….

Wireless keyboard on the fritz this morning, doing the voice thang…

It’s a beautiful day out there although it’s a bit chilly + 5°C.  My daughter is leaving for China tomorrow and I am happy for her, now I have to look for my present she has to bring me back….

Well there was a short interlude there for a second, my brother came to buy his season passes for the amusement park this Summer. Thank God he came because he help me fix the keyboard and mouse problem! You see I had forgotten that last night my Internet wasn’t working so my daughter and I move cables left and right as per the technician’s request. Well my daughter must have move the antenna for my KB and mouse, making these wireless dcevices useless. My brother put back the antenna and allm is back to normal, I am typing and clicking away.

BTW, next week I have an appointment at the CMR, I’m getting an air cushion for my back. Apparently I’m getting little red dots on my back due to the current cushion; but I have a lovely ass according to the nurse…just take it as is, I’m not going into more details…

Take care folks!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Chinese word used by the Aztecs

Hello!

I was going through the gift list my girl is supposed to nbring back and I told her that I wanted a t-shirt that said: “China tu madre!”… she didn’t like the joke. You have to be Mexican to understand this type of joke. I’m sure my wife, my in-laws, the whole country of Mexico would understand me, but my daughter…. No freaking way! Besides, she doesn’t like it when I curse so… China tu madre! China tu madre! China tu madre!!!!... I’m not going to tell you what it means, you figure it!....Chinada madre!

Take care folks!

PS Little J's mom, those nuts you ordered from Mexico are good...1 bag left so you better pray there's some left over for you....

Computerless me

Hello!

Just hanging around waiting for my computer to be available.. L… Wife didn’t go to work because she was tired … L Days like today are the ones that I wish I had never showed her how to use a PC… I should have left her with the notion that a computer is a devil’s tool…. Anyhoot…

Well my daughter’s off on Saturday to China and I hope she has fun. Would you believe me if I told you the fay has turned crappy? Well it has! Freaking weatherman was right for once!! … Dam!!

Take care fo;lks!!

Thursday stories

Hello!

Good day people…

Well it was supposed to be a crappy day but it’s turning out to be gorgeous out there!!

Meet the Yowie
Breakfast done, survivor shows almost done and bath out of the way; and boy has my bath guy done a 180 on me! Just this winter he was out there looking for love anywhere, including my sisters-in –law…he was desperate if he was looking for wide eye crazy Mexicans!! It’s an acquire taste dude! I wouldn’t recommend it….watch me get a Mexican bitch slapping  because of my words…

My bath guy has somebody but he wants to brake it off….!!!.....What the heck dude!?! It took you long to find somebody and now you want to ended it?!! I’m not going to be the shoulder you’ll cry on anymore. The guy is a fruit cake: 55, divorced with 2 kids and a GF who left him because who knows why (I'm pretty sure he smells too)  and now that he has somebody, he wants to let her go because he’s not ready for somebody else in his life!? Seriously?!! You need help bath guy, you need help…

Take care people!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The power of the finger

Hello!

I know….MIA right?

Well it was a gorgeous day and I spent it outside! Then I asked my oldest to come with me to the shopping mall and guess what? I gave the finger to a bus driver who honked at me!! WTF??! I will at my own speed and do what I want, where I want to!! Mormon honked at me because I was going too slow for his taste. He poopster the F out of me!! So I raised my arm, ever so gently, and out came my index finger in a defiant way as if to say “I’m number one!! So piss off!!”….it was the only finger I could mustard to show people….MS sucks!!!

Take care folks!!

PS maybe he thought I was suggesting to get an anal probe...

Guerrero dreams

Hello!

Good day…

Well all is well that ends well, now we have to tackle China….That’s  going to be something! …All is back to normal…and I have to go out and enjoy todays weather, gorgeous day out there folks, just gorgeous!!

My wife brought back candy for he sister, tequila for my brother, smoke for her friend and stuff for me….stuff….I think that since I’ve gotten married C. Guzman the persona doesn’t exist anymore! It is now C. Guzman the nuclei… part of an entity that is slowly dissolving….shit that’s deep! Okay, I got bread to eat with coffee, tequila glasses –hold the tequila-,  other stuff that I forgot  and something else that I am probably to dumbfound to talk about it…yes! Cookies! Well at least she’s back safely!

Take care!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

7.6 quake in Mexico....

Hello!

As mention on my previous post I was pissed off with my wife’s Mexican family during her vacation gone haywire….now I’m worried about them! At 12:02 local time Mexico was hit by a quake that shook Guerrero. State where Acapulco is and my wife was there today until 6:30 this morning. I will give her a shout in Atlanta to see if she did leave Acapulco safely…

Untangling the past

Hello!

Cousin, no touch
I’ve been doing research regarding stuff my mother taught me regarding my country, my family, my o my is it hard for me to disprove most of the big stories she had told me. I’m sure it’s not her; she heard the same stories from her mother and her mother probably from hers; although my grandmother was fairly young when her mother died….wonder who made this beautiful story up?...  Switching to voice recognition…

I have been doing genealogy research for about a year now, and in this year I have been able to rectify whatever I had learned from my mother.  Here are a couple of things:



1- My grandmother was only seven when her mother died.  No!  Although she was young my grandmother was 15 when my great-grandmother past away.  On the same lines, my great-grandmother didn’t die at an early age, she was 50!!  The only truth about her death was that she died of asthma.

2- Your grandmother was born December 18th 1899.  No, and I don’t blame her for this, she was born July 25 1899.  I am baffled why my grandmother decided that she was born on the 18 December.

3- My mother was born in 1943.  Once again, no!!  My mother was born in 1938, one day before she says she was born.  She was four when my grandfather died.

These are some of the examples that I have had to be the bearer of bad news towards my family.  I am not dissing my mother, is just that her reality is always mixed in with the truth.  I have now become a legend hunter…  It’s complicated, trust me!




Take care folks!

PS now I have to find a war that my great-great-grandmother took part in and this war just happens to be 20 odd years before she was born…  I blame my brother for this, he made me into a logical/cynical man…

Ctrl-Z saves the day

Hello!

Good day to you…

Hands are shot but I want to keyboard my post so I can practice my dexterity…It’s going to be long people!!

So the wife should be on the plane  coming back home, this is if she didn’t bring back a package for a friend and that package contained drugs…. This is Mexico anything is possibele.  I think that this afternoon I will have an all-out war with the girls because they have to make the house half presentable; there are dishes all over the place they need to wash, Plus there is booming to be done, general cleaning to take care, dare I say….mopping, perhaps?!! It’s going to be an interesting end of day…

Well today is anoter beautiful day out there and tomorrow will be the apex of the week with a temperature of +26c!!! FREAKING AWSOMEeee!! It’s too good to be true, I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop….

Alright, take care folks! It only took me 45 minutes with these clumsy hands, but I managed…

Monday, March 19, 2012

Pablo and Teresa

Hello!

Sorry my MS is acting up…hands are shots..but I did do some genealogy work today. I found the birth certificate of my mother’s oldest sister, Teresa, dating back 1927nand as a bonus it has my grandfather’s signature. He had a good hand writing compare to his grandsons and granddaughters…at least my brother’s chicken scratch and I cannot longer write so I don’t count…another MS delights….happy happy joy joy!!! L (my second sad face today…bummer)

Take care folks!

The waiting game

Hello!

Good day to you…

Well wife is back tomorrow….at midnight…poor her… the girls were missing her already and let’s just say she’s going to get a nice vacation from her vacations…. Now time to prepare for China… seems everyone is flying except me…sucks L

Well it’s a beautiful day out there again, sun is out, the weather is hot and the bird are singing their head off chirp…chirp.. I get to stay indoosr and I have to wait for the janitor as one faucet sucks and one of the kitchen cupboard’s door is broken and the owner swore to me she was going to send somebody over to fix the broken things…Well I’ll get to be outside this afternoon when I’ll bring my kid to the library… yay library!!!

Take care folks!

PS Little J's mom..... I know something you don't know...and IT'S FREAKING HUGE!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Thinking of you tonight

Vous  là où j'ai déja été
Vous voyez ce que j'ai déja vu
Emerveillé par ce qui m'a emerveillé
Marchez sur des sentiers que j'ai déja voyagé

Maudite jeunesse, vous ne reviendrais plus!

The Sun

Hello!

Gonna have me a healthy breakfast this beautiful day…

+9c already, sunshine all over the place…I’M WEARING FREAKING SHORTS!!! I’m going to go out there today with the girls, have the first ice-cream of the season and just enjoy the freaking sun! I’LL BE WEARING MY NEW SANDALS!! I AM….HYPE! oh yeah, hibernation is over baby!!


Just finished having breakfast and speaking with my wife. She said that Mexico was nice but the whole incident that her sister brought over to the get together put a damper on her vacation because she had to play the mother part while her sister recuperated from her small operation… and the kids are not the best behave kids… I could blog about this some more but I would easily get tired… All in all my wife didn’t have the time off she wanted and she’s coming back Tuesday and my breakfast got cold while she chattered her brains out…mind you, the eggs were over cooked, I guess my daughter didn’t want to take a chance with salmonella….

Take care folks!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

While the patio door is flung open

Hello!

Good Saturday to you…

Gorgeous day out there, so gorgeous that I am blogging with my patio door open!!! Yeah, the wife is in Mexico, the girls are out with their grandmother, Olivia is out on a dog play date which means I am a one man family member!! Maybe I should make it so this way, don’t think they care. MS is a solitude illness, I will talk with my wife and see where we should go from here…in the meantime, I had time to genealogy do stuff….

My grandmother got married in 1927, meaning that she was pregnant with her oldest daughter!!! What a rebel she was! I also found out that my great-grandfather on my maternal grandfather side had 8 kids!! Horny little baster.  And I will keep on digging now…

Take care!

PS My relatives are under the "N" (Pablo Aviles) for some reason....

Friday, March 16, 2012

Tweeter is fun

Hello!

Just came back from a meeting with my daughter’s doctors and now I’m about to check Twitter…I have had an account for a while (@cbgmtl) but I never go there. I’m one of the few that believes 140 characters is too little and therefore started blogging but distributing my blog through Twitter…and Facebook…and Digg…and Stumb….I just use these sites to promote my craziness!!! I went to Twitter because the experience of this morning got me hooked again. I know that Mexicans use this mean rather liberally…Everything is “Tweet me here” or “Tweet us if you like us” or “tweet me if I’m wrong” and I did Tweet and it changed the news as well as my ideas of Twitter; while just today I read that Ricky Martin is the best gay dad out there !! So I will visit Tweetland more often.

Take care folks!

PS I am now more security aware, notice how I let you guys know I was out until I came back. This is due to that old CLSC lady who tried to rape me…What a world..

TV Azteca and me

Hello!

Good day folks…

Aaaah, here I am with a bit more fate in life and a bit more credibility in the news people of this world…. Here’s my story..

Today.  like everyday, I am seeing the Mexican news on TV Azteca International when Jorge Zarza (TV Anchor) reports with great fanfare that Nasa has revealed a video about the moon and its evolution over the last 4500 years….WTF???...what is this, The creationist channel?!? The moon has been around with us 4.5 BILLIONS years, not thousands!!!! I have to get up and say something to this guy!!!! Jeeesus Christ, this makes me mad! I mean misleading millions of people into believing that the moon came into existence when the Pyramids were being built!!?  My brother better hurry up and put me on my chair!!! Well my brother came, put me on my chair and gave me breakfast; in the mean time, the report  about the moon kept on airing. THAT’S IT, I said to myself and went onto my computer to rectify rhe situation….I Tweeted Mr. Zarza  (@jzarzap) with the disillusion that my cries were going to be ignored one more time (AKA Stephen Hawkins).

Well, they weren’t! He (Mr. Zarza) re-tweeted my post on Twitter and at the end of the morning show the whole brouhaha about the moon being 4500 years was removed from their news cast and only “The video of the Moon from Nasa” remained.

Thank you TV Azteca, thank you mr. Zarza!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Life's too short for me to care

Hello!

Tired, dead tired! Today I sleep early n wake up late tomorrow. The dumb school woman hasn’t call me back like she told me she would, looks like little J’s dad will have to take my daughter over to her new school…. can’t trust anyone these days. And just like that the first day of my wife’s vacation is over and she got but 4 more to go… that sucks!

My dog…..she’s a bitch in all sense of the word!! She loves to eat dog/cat poo, she doesn’t listen and she just escaped while a moronic pharmacy delivery guy opened the door!! He’s a mormon  but she’s a bitch. She was out and about for 5 minutes before the guy was able to catch her back….dumb dog!

Well my day is done and I will do some genealogy work, ever since I found some of my most important ancestors I have stop looking around…bad Chuck BAD!

 Take care folks!

The walking dead....wheelchair bound dead

Hello!

…man I’m out of it today….

I told you about my early morning issues but I haven’t told you about today’s main day matters.

My brother came to put me in the chair at 9:00AM, but as he’s about to complete his job, the nurse calls. He wanted to come and change my catheyer and the dressing around it. Fcuk me! I haven’t even touch breakfast yet!! Has it been six weeks already?! Okay, just come by and do your thing….So the guy came and did his thing…I’m a happy camper again..but my day doesn’t end there….not by a freaking mile!

Better days when I used to walk
My bath guy comes over and he’s all hype about life and how dumping his ex-girlfriend is the best thing that he ever did…ladies, after a while we guys like to think that we dumped you, even if you did.. Just go with the flow it will help you eliminate headaches…Apparently he met a new girl and they were getting it on! The only thing that was missing from the story was the position they had done the nasty in… okay it was the Standing Tiger / Crouching Dragon position or as we Salvadorians like to call it: El capirucho!...You know what?! I wasn’t paying attention and he noticed this. His immediate response to my lack of interest was that he was going to send a psychologist/social worker to speak with me about my lack of interest….NO!!!! Please don’t I said to him, I explain to him the baggage incident and blame my wife for my lack of energy….He agreed not to send anyone but told me to get some shut eye because I look like crap….

Take care folks!

PS I thought that my wife got to Atlanta at 2:30PM….. may I’m really gone because she will soon be kissing Azteca land….


The one that stayed behind

Hello!

Good something folks…

What a day this turned out to be so far!!...It all started yesterday evening when my wife started travel mode. Before she embarks on her voyage she has to make sure that all is in working order before she splits; so yesterday night she cooked for 5 days…do the maths, 3 meals x 8 possible days iiiiisss?? Correct! A shit load of dishes prepared in the fridge and freezer. Then she had to clean the building, this is where I dozed off, she then went on to her mother where she had to pick up some trivial stuff her mom wanted to send to Mexico. 3 freaking bags of trivial stuff; I wonder how much her mom had to dish out for the extra luggage? And last I remember she was off to the airport at 3:00AM…finally, some sleep time!!....Boy was I wrong!! The phone rang at 4:xx AM…..when the phone rings this early is because bad news is coming your way people… Gordo, she said (this means beautiful one in her language), blah, blah blah, blah blah! What??!! She had forgotten a suitcase in the car that my brother drove her in and she wanted to know if I could call him to bring it to the airport. Dude, my brother doesn’t believe in cell phones, you’re fcuked!  Case closed! If it’s not your luggage, who gives a hoot?! Let it rest…Boys and girls, she’s a smart cookie my wife and she immediately used the power of the Network… The Women’s Network! My wife called my brother’s wife and presto, the rest was history! My brother had to drive twice to the airport…..poor guy, it was like a 30 minute drive x 2…and the day is just beginning!!

Take care folks!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

On behalf of a kid

Hello!

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!

My oldest would have killed me if I didn’t share this with you….It’s about a dude, a real bad dude for some and an escape goat for others.  His name is Kony and apparently he takes children away to make them into soldiers and the little girls he turns them into sex slaves. My daughter was so into this social thing that she made us sit down and watch the movie….She also made me promise that I would get her a bracelet for her to wear, right now they are all sold out…but here, watch the video…



PS Some people think that this is just an invitation for America to walk into Uganda. Me? If the guy is guilty then kill him otherwise I am just supporting my daughter’s social awakening….


Take care!

SURPRISE!

.Hello!

I was playing monopoly minding my own business, when suddenly my mother calls to shoot the shit around…I talk for a bit and then back the chair so I can tilt myself for a long conversation; as I turned around to face the patio door, what do you think I see??



 WTF indeed!!! White stuff all over the place!! Only yesterday we hit +9c and this weekend  is a promising one, but mother nature just won’t stop the havoc around here!! It is a reminder that we are nobody when it comes to weather…I am crushed! And the stupid lady is not calling me back for my daughter’s school thing….. L I am mad GRRRRRR!!!

Take care folks!

The Magic

Hello!

Good something people….

Well about to be single for a couple of days while my wife goes on a tiny-mini vacation to Mexico; it’s a weekend getaway if you like cause she’s coming back on Tuesday… soooo while the cat’s away, the mouse come out and…. GET IT ON!!!!

Yes I have created a schedule that the faint at heart shouldn’t even dream about; I mean SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK & ROLL!!! Everything that is part of the cardinal sins list will be part of it and them some…. Oh yeah!! (Kool-Aid voice)… I have called on people to help me start the party tomorrow….ok so I don’t have a master plan but I’M READING A BOOK!

Apparently is a book that will change my life by giving me the secret to make my  life the best thing ever since cheese cake….uuummm I love cheese cake….Apparently the law of attraction is all you need for the Universe to give you what you want. It’s what all metaphysical mother f_ers are talking about and apparently it has worked for them!! I can vouch that I have been thinking about a single thing and I haven’t gotten her yet… I mean I haven’t gotten “IT” yet, I meant “IT”…..But I guess I have been wishing this negatively and if you do this you are fuck cause the Universe doesn’t like this and will f_you up real bad….Hey Universe! I don’t want to walk again and I really wish to be short on cash all the time…oh yea, I like my we-we to be short and small!

Take care folks!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Babysitting

Hello!

Babysitting time!!

My youngest BFF has come to play with her and they are running amok up there! Boy is her sister (my oldest)  going to be pissed off!! She’s going to be here until….God knows when…her mother told me that she was going to do an errand about 30 minutes away from here and she didn’t know what time she would pick her up…I don’t like this!! Change is evil!! This means I will have to stay on my chair until I don’t know when!!! Argh, I’ll have to be dress and looking pretty all day long….She better be back soon or I’ll be calling the cops.. Maybe they fled the country and left her here for ever….I hate this! Now people know why I don’t like answering the phone…. The kid is okay, it is the mother who scares me, is like she undresses me with her eyes each time she sees me, then again I feel the same way about everybody.

Adios amigos!

It always rain on Tuesday

Hello!

I was TKO people…napping away! I told you that this change of hour wasn’t my thing… Besides, it is a rainy type of day and I am sure that thousands of people take nap in such weather…

And now I have to contact the future school of my daughter to ask if it is wheelchair accessible or not; it seems that uncle J might have to bring her…I think that the girls like uncle J because he’s an important part of the cousin making contraption… plus he needs to behave if he wants my wife to bring him stuff back from Mexico. Remember uncle J: first is the Mexican sniffing dogs, then is the American Rottweiler, then is the Canadian German Sheppard and last but not least it’s the Salvadorian inspection police that withholds anything that they may consider dangerous…oh and BTW, you can keep my daughter as I know she will eat you guys out of a home….

Take care folks! 

Grandma sex

Hello!

Glad to see you here…

Well I just finished having my bath and was it ever a chatty one….Dear lord I learned stuff that I would have never guessed in a million years!

Last Thursday I had a little old lady 50-60 years old. Very nice person, had the look of a church going gal, the type that never breaks a thing and that carries a rosary in her purse…I think that a rosary is the last thing she packs, I’m certain that she had a dozen condoms in her purse and they were all King-Kong sizes!! You know the expression: ”Speak softly but carry a big stick”? Well I’m sure that her motto in life is: “Speak softly while looking for big…risks.” (it’s a family oriented blog! What do you want!?). .How do I know this??

I know this because my bath people told me so!!!

When I told them that I had an old lady come on over last week, they immediately said the name of the lady and told me her story! Apparently this little church going gal likes them young!! Right now she is going out with a 30 year old stallion that grabs the attention of most of the young ladies out there. AND her previous boyfriend was also young but she got tired of him and found a new one!! I almost got raped!!! Had I known this, I would have asked her to frisk me and make sure that I had nothing big and dangerous with me and….is it getting hot in here??....I will never pass judgment on people again! All of you are sick sex searching people….and I am the solution…

Take care people!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Outside

Hello!

Went…out…….sideeeeee!!!

It was a beautiful day and I had my little one bring me outside when she came home. Ook a couple of pictures, including one of some ducks coming back to R&R, there`s also Olivia and her master and finally the reason while I`m all hype about summer coming our way…Plus…. I have sent the papers needed for my door!| It`s a waiting game now!!

Off to eat some chow people|


Believe it or not, there's a line of ducks upthere


Sit Ubu, sit.


Left over snow... A shitload...





Spilled milk

Hello!

WTF??? I’m trying time and again to get in contact with the freaking library to reserve a room for my daughter and her teacher but I am getting the voicemail!!! I think they need to hire more people or the folks there need to start working their ass off because I don’t believe that at 2:30PM they are overloaded with readers trying to get a book!!

And that’s not all, whilr trying to get a yogurt I spilled milk all over the freaking kitchen!!! I tried to clean it up to the best of my abilities but…er…let’s just say I did a pretty good job for a disable moron…

Back to the phone…

PS And I have to fill up insurance papers, they want to make sure I’m still fucked up…..Losers with a capital "L"…there’s no cure for MS morrons!!

Hour ahead Monday

Hrlli!

Good tasy to you folks...

Hw wss your weew

This is not happening....my body still accustomed to the old time! This really, really sucks! You know how bad it was this morning?! Oh, it was bad!... I was going to blog from my bed and I fell asleep again after my alarm had gone off! I was only able to write the above… When I wake up at 6:20AM, my body thinks it’s 5:20AM!!  It was painful people!.. really, really painful!!

So anther week another 15 post to write and soon I will be single again! I’m not elaborating more then that; but she will have fun and I will…probably go out to the shopping mall…probably…

Ok that’s it for me, for now! Take care people, gorgeous day out there!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Faithfulness is an art I have mastered

 Hello!

Good Sunday…

Wow wow wee!! Beautiful day out there…+10c, sunny and just came back from the shopping mall, the big shopping mall!! We went to buy clothes for my wife and thank God I’m in a wheelchair that can tilt and my cushion is made of air. What is it with you ladies that it takes hours to get an outfit??!! My ass was tired of sitting; and I didn’t tell my wife about the girl who was eying me while she tried on clothes!! Fer crying out loud girl, I’m old enough to be your…er…big brother, I got 2 kids, a wife…I am climbing down the slope while you are just beginning to go up the hill…I’ve been there, done that!! Seriously?! Just a quick look would have sufficed but you stared and stared like if I was a freak show! Honestly, that publicity poster of the girl looking at me gave me the hibijibis…I feel better now…


Take care!