The fat guy, the nurse and the bus driver

Hello!


Sounds like a sick porno blog,ey?


"Yes, yes it does. Go on please..."

Well let me tell you about my pornographic experience. I'll start writing about the nurses and the fat guy... I have said this many times I might be fat, gorilla like, hairy scary but I have always had problems with the women! Now that I have a wheelchair that can tilt to about 45°, maybe more, I get the attention of everybody and their mother. Today at the hospital I was visiting my mother when suddenly I decided to back up an incline the chair. No sooner was I down to a horizontal position when a nurse came by and started to chat me up. Okay, I'll play the game, I'm the dirty handicap guy with the tilting mechanism. She asked me if I was okay, I told her I wasn't-it's true I got MS right?-then I told her no, that I was just stretching. She smiled with me and told me that  women must be always happy with me... WTF?! Too late, she walked away... No sooner was she gone when a Latin lady (cleaning lady) came over and gave me a smile and a wink! Oh Lord Almighty! Something must be wrong with the universe today! My little brother was there too and he said, jealously, "it must be the wheelchair and your stupid handicap look)... He used the word retard to be exact.

But it is true that since I'm in the wheelchair people seem to be nicer with me, I guess they must think that the handicap guy is an inoffensive prick that life has mistreated him and therefore they must be nice to him. Little do they know that I am naughty by nature... No pun intended!


I'll see you from my bed people... I'll be the one alone in it!

PS you're probably wondering about the bus driver right? well the SOB let me stranded for awhile so that he could used the bathroom. I had to suffer the humidity and when I came into the house I was dead... I guess he was relieved. But other than that, he had really nothing to do with the story, maybe next time Mr. bus driver...

Melancholy and the invisible girls

Hello!


Well I'm back and I got the first pictures of my girls Vega's trip that have been uploaded to Facebook. First I will recap my hospital visit to my relatives.


Well my Nana is not a pretty sight, I don't know if it's cancer or it's because she doesn't want to eat or she's just fed up with life and believes it is not worth living. It is a sad state and I don't wish this on anybody out there. My mother, well it's a bag of mix dilemmas. Her ailments are not near as bad as my Nana, obviously she has soares all over the place, she can't walk because one of them is on her foot and it must hurt her like hell, her legs are swollen with water, her diabetes has to be controlled and she has other issues that are not life-threatening but to add to all of these, she has to control her character. She has always been a strong woman and has always wanted things to go her way or she disapproved of it. Well now that she's sick she still wants things to go her way, this is something I tackled early on with my disease, you have to learn to be patient! I think she's the one who taught me that patience was a virtue, or maybe it was that your first take the tequila, then the salt and finally the lemon... I'm all mixed up here! All I know is she has to learn how to be patient...


On with the girls!

Trust me, they're there!

Well I have seen pictures of my girls on the plane and that's about it! After that it's all about the freaking mother! Here she is in a casino with her grandmother and uncle, here she is at a get-together with her grandmother and uncle and the famous picture I wanted them to take together? You know, the one in front of the sign that says "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas"? Well, they took the picture at night time and it was a picture of what appears to be my two girls (right side) and two complete strangers, to me at least, what gives? What type of pictures are these? I'm pretty sure that when they take a picture with their great-grandmother they're probably going to be facing the other way! My girls are "camera shy", I'm not blaming their mother but she's an adult, she can enforce her will! You know: "get on the freaking picture you little shit!". So far the pictures are not up to my standards, too dark, not enough pictures of the girls and what do I care about casinos? Seriously?! They tell me that there are other pictures in the big camera I gave them, a Sony or a Yamaha or some shit like that, four years ago it was top-of-the-line camera but now I guess it's obsolete, but that's not the point here. The point is that either the mother doesn't know how to direct or my kids think too much of themselves and don't want to be in the pictures with their relatives...



Take care folks!


PS barbecue rib chips rule...uuuummm....

"-" something degrees and loving it!

Hello!

Well it's a beautiful sunny day out there, temperature is hovering at around 22°C and in my house it's probably around 19°C. Oh yeah! I have the A/C at full blast and I'm not wearing any shirt, I'm like a polar bear I tell ya! The cooler it is, the better,I like it.! When the people that give me my bath come in the usually tell me to turn off the A/C because I might be cold and I don't feel it. Feel it? My ass! They ask me to turn it off because they are cold! I love this type of temperature, if ever somebody's gonna kill me I would ask that they dispose of the body in a freezer.


Yeah, I know I'm weird...


Shooooot, I got papers to fill up and I haven't done diddly squat, I got to call the offices to make sure that I'm still on time to send information otherwise I will have to wait till next year to get the help I need. I also have to see if the landlord came back from China so that I can show her what modifications to the apartment the city wants to do. I'm still debating that because once the work is done I have to stay here, basically forever! Makes you feel like your life is over, that soon you are going to kick the bucket... I know, I have a fetish with buckets what can I say?



Well it's off to see my mother and my Nana!


I'll see you in the afternoon folks!

It's all in the coffee

Hello!


Good day mates!

Well this is one of those perks that comes when my girls are not in the house, I get to eat "early" and do some blogging before much of the drunken readers are up, okay the North American readers because the Europeans ones are probably having lunch/breakfast by now.

Today I had a bagel with margarine and cheddar cheese, to accompany these exquisite dish I had a Tim Hortons coffee! For those that don't know what it is, you're missing heaven. I know that it was a Canadian thing before but now there are some shops opened in the USA, particularly New York where I'm sure that they like the coffee too. Obviously I'm not talking about the Puerto Ricans who probably prefer a nice alcoholic coffee,uuummmm then again who wouldn't... Irish coffee uuuuummm the perfect drink to end the night or start your day...


What are my plans for today? Well I'm going to go and see my mother at the hospital as well as my Nana and then come back and toast myself a bit outside to get some color, I'm also counting down the days before the girls are back at this point they have six days left on their vacation... Time flies when you're having fun...


Take care e-buddies!

That sucks

Hello!

I know, I know, stop posting like if it was diarrhea, well there's a reason why. I'm back in freaking bed and this time is for the day! I had my supper, talked a bit, wash my teeth and presto! Off to bed you disable prick, do-do time!! Come-on!! I'm 43 in the prime of my life and I'm in bed at 7:00PM! just not right, no siree bob...I don't like that, I don't like that at all!! I should be up and out mingling with the masses! Oh well at least I got a mc rib for supper and an apple pie for later...

Take care people, buenas nachos folks!

walking is one stone throw away

Hello!

Ah fiddlesticks! Just as I was enjoying my time in bed and I had successfully blog, my brother came by and guess what? He put me back on the chair, but not without having had successfully transferred myself to the bed and, drum roll, taken off my shorts on my own! Clap! Clap! Clap!! I haven't taken out my shorts in years, I know you guys are thinking big deal, it is a big deal! Lately I have been feeling super strong on my torso side and now my legs are starting to feel strong too. Jesus Christ I'm going back to work am I? I knew it!! This wasn't going to last long and that sooner or later I would have start sweating again, keyboarding and moving the mouse with my hands! Boy that sucks :-)


Other than that tomorrow is the last day of July and thank you very much e-people my blog this month hit a new high, I got page views galore, 3780 to be exact. And I know that people are reading because it's not only the post that I put that gets read but posts dating back to 2010! Thank you, thank you for making my blog your one-stop blog. I know sometimes I can be depressive, sometimes obnoxious, maybe sometimes I make you laugh, but I know that down deep inside of you, you wish you were me... Okay I'm pushing it. All I can say is that you don't know how happy I am that you guys read me...


Well that's my last post from the computer, I'm currently working on a French post for the new month, hopefully it will be ready for August the second.


Happy trails people!

On my bed already; flying fat guy

Hello!

I transferred myself to bed to rest a little, I have learn to do it now, I'm quite at ease already; and since I know my brother is coming to feed me later on, I took the liberty to go to bed. Now I have to learn how to transfer myself back to the chair, I think I will practice it this week....hey you only live once!

Tata for now!

When in Vegas bitch a little

Hello!

I got some feedback from someone yesterday, apparently my blog lacks depth. It's nice and dandy but I never go over the edge, not providing enough personal stuff. I don't know, I think everything that happens to me can be read on my blog. Maybe it's true I don't say much about my personal feelings, I think that if I did people would be running for the doors... I like to keep by dark side dark, if you want to know it, you'll just have to step into my space and see what I'm all about... Cooooool!

Well I got a second day update from my girls and their mother, apparently the girls are bitching already, too hot, too cold, too tired, too hungry... Too too many! And it is freaking hot in Las Vegas as I had said it would, what did you expect? It's in the middle of the desert for fuck sake! Well I'm happy that they got to see their great-grandmother, I asked that there be pictures taken of the event and that they take lots of pictures because next time they go to Vegas will be when they are all grown up already. My oldest daughter is going to China next year and I would like them to visit LA where their uncle lives, so I want them to establish a good relationship with him and her cousins.

Take care people!

what is this world coming to?

Hello!


Happy weekend people!


OMG!! What is this family going through!? Seriously?! Well I finally got the okay from my niece to talk about it and no sooner will I write about it then another "scandal" rocks the house!! I am blogging on a weekend because I know that a lot of you out there are gone... Drunk, pot heads stone out of their brains, religious freaks, all sorts of losers... No offense people, you are my public and I still love you, e-love that is.

What I'm about to tell you will break the image you had of the Guzman clan, you know the one about us being so saint, so perfect? Well, I am, but the rest of the family is going to hell in a handbasket, they're all a bunch of sinners and if my great great great grand Pappy was alive he would definitely start the Inquisition all over again, starting with our family....I'm talking about Dominic Guzmán who had a beef against the Cathars of the Languedoc region.... isn't it funny? Here's a guy fighting the Cathars and my brothers and I are Freemasons! But that's besides the point, my nieces has broken two of the three golden rules, 1- she has a tattoo 2- she's an open lesbian! What gives? What is this world coming to?

Second incident that has shatter our good name and reputation is the one that I just found out two days ago. One of my nieces, an underage one, is freaking pregnant! My cousin is going to be a grandmother! Well there's another one that I'm not going to be writing a Christmas card to! Seriously?! She's only 19, this is considered to be underage in my country, she doesn't know what she was doing! I swear my grandmother, my great-grandmother and my great great grand Pappy are all turning in their graves! No, not my great great-grandmother, she was what we call in French a catin... A prostitute.. But a respectable one!




So I got in my family now, a lesbian and a pregnant underage mother! What is this world coming to?


Take care people!


PS first of all I am kidding, I am happy for my niece and I am thrilled that my other niece is pregnant and will be having a kid, but I will not be inviting them to my Christmas parties anymore! On another note my stupid voice recognition is failing completely, it takes a while to start... I smell a new computer on the horizon! if my girls can go to Las Vegas, I'm entitled to a new computer.

A weekend comes my way

Hello!

Well the girls and their mother are having a ball and they are uploading a bunch of pictures to Facebook. Apparently it is real hot in Vegas, wonder why?? Maybe because it is in the middle of the desert!?! I sure hope that the electricity doesn't fail in that city or the girls are going to be dying of heat.

I talked to the CMR lady that helps me with my breathing and she sounded sick, but she doesn't believe in doctors or medicine, she wants the illness take her course. I hope she gets better...

Take care!

The pooping bird

Hello!


It is Friday and I'm all alone!


So the girls are now in Vegas and I'm late because I went to visit my mother.

First of all, fuck the birds! I always thought that birds were like angels that came from the sky bringing messages and hope from God. I also thought that you could communicate with God with them, boy was I wrong! You see my place is in a very secluded area of the building where in the afternoon you get a nice breeze and no sun, plus there's a whole bunch of birds flying about; most of them make their nests near my house. So this afternoon I was waiting for my bus to go and see my mother when suddenly there was a bird that near me and pooped near my chair! WTF?! FU bird! I could've swore that the guy was aiming for my head, he missed me by about a meter. I'm pretty sure that all the birds near my house I basically poop carrying animals that are aiming at people's heads all the time. I will never think the same way about stupid birds again!


So it was over a year that I hadn't seen my mother, now that she's at the hospital I have more access to her. She doesn't speak much but she was real happy to see me. She can't hear me at all and I think that I did wrong to go and see her in the morning, basically every service that needs to be given to her is done so at this time. I was about half an hour to 45 minutes outside her room while they prepared her for her day. I think next time I'm going to go and see her will be on Sunday when I will also try to go and see my Nana who is in a different floor of the hospital.


There! You've been updated, have yourself a great day!

And they are off

Hello!

3:45AM!! they have left for the airport, luggage and all. I wished them a safe flight and lots of fun there. Gad it's been a while since I had my eyes wide open this freaking early in the morning for a reason, usually it is because I cannot sleep but today it is because I had to wake up this early and...shhh! Do you hear that? That's the sound of what loneliness sounds like....okay peace and quiet!

Okay, let's see if I can find those Zzzzz..

Later!

The ceiling perspective

Hello!

How are we tonight/morning?

Well the girls are cleaning their room before they take a shower and grab quick nap. I remember when I used to travel, it was exiting, I couldn't sleep a wink and when I got on the plane? I would make sure I had a window seat and the whole flight I would be looking trough the window to see if I could spot something on the grown. And when they use to sell stuff on the airplanes I would make sure that I bought something!

I miss taking the plane somewhere...

Take care!

The e-vacation

Hello!

Well everything is really really completed! This afternoon I booked the tickets for my girls online so tomorrow they'll show up at the airport, register their luggage and commence boarding. It's amazing how everything is done electronically now days, the tickets were purchased online, the Cirque du Soleil tickets were also purchased online and now the booking was also done online, why couldn't they make traveling online too?


I think my oldest daughter knowing that tomorrow she has to be up at three o'clock is taking advantage of a no-dog day today, I wonder how she's doing? They say that when she got to the dog hotel and saw other dogs she just went ballistic and started to play with them also. Even when her mommy was saying goodbye he didn't give a hoot. I'm happy that my girls and my dog are having a wonderful time... Just wish I was part of it...



Take care yourself people!

Copy/paste me

Hello!

Okay, bath has been done, Meals on Wheels have been eaten, dessert has been taken! So what else could I do? Well, I decided to watch a TV program with my oldest daughter, you know daddy/daughter time before she leaves?! So we tuned into the Nat Geo channel and started to watch this "Naked science" program about multiverse that's right, the existence of many universes at the same time. Boy does your head starts spinning when you listen to this shit heads, these PhD shit heads, apparently there's a lot of copy of us spreaded around different universes. I think I'm sending my daughter confused to Las Vegas, if she was lost before now she's even worst! She started to ask all sorts of questions, what is quantum mechanics? Is this real? So I exist in different places at the same time?... Yes baby all of those are true, there are many universes that exists and this is leading me to believe that there is a "God" that is in control of all of this stuff. Then she asked how was this possible that there was a copy of her somewhere and she couldn't see her or that place. I told her it was very simple and that I could demonstrated with a simple example. I told her to look outside and tell me what she saw, she looked outside and told me that there was trees, the Sun and somebody walking out there, I told her that while she was watching outside, the outside existed for that brief second, the trees, the Sun and even the guy walking out there were all part that reality, but when she looked back inside our home the outside was gone! So you cannot be outside and inside at the same time, while you are outside you are in that particular universe but once you come back in, that universes is gone, and I thought it was going to be an easy day today...


Boy do I love fucking up heads...


Take care people!


PS I hope I didn't shatter your world...

Thursday in a nutshell

Hello!


Hope you are all having a wonderful Thursday!

Well it has begun people! My dog is off to the dog hotel today, the reservations for the airplane to Las Vegas have been done and later on I will have the food supplies for myself bringed over. Then tomorrow at 3 AM my girls and their mother will be on the way to the airport to take the plane that will bring them over to that desert city, they should be arriving at around 1:00 PM, I presume it will be around 2 PM when they get to the hotel... I feel lonely already... NOT! I hope they have fun.


Tomorrow I will go and visit my mother at the hospital, she's in a room already and I will make reservations for my bus so that I might be able to go and see her. It's been over a year since I last saw her, so it's going to be a fun experience tomorrow for me.


I'll see you later folks, my bath lady will be here later on and I will be doing nothing for the rest of the afternoon.

Another dead beat Guzman

Hello!

A long long time ago I created a post named PSA, Public Service Announcement, and this was because I was sleeping and some Hindu woman was looking for somebody with the family name Guzman. I was royally pissed! Now, one year later another idiotic call comes my way while I am sleeping. There's some dude with the name Carlos Guzman who probably did something bad because a collection agency is going after him! I woke up to the ring of the phone and then this lady asked me if I'm Carlos Guzman, I told her I was and then she asked me if I was the Carlos Guzman who lived in apartment 1B in the city of St. John Richelieu. I told her no, she then excused herself and wish me a good day. WTF man! I like to know who this other Carlos Guzman is! Apparently he has a more exciting life than I do, maybe next time they call for him I will tell them that it is I that they are looking for, I wonder what would happen next... Stupid Carlos Guzman, because of you I was awoken from my slumber...


Take care people!

CMR visit is over

Hello!


Well that was a fast meeting!

The lady from the CMR came, made the changes necessary and took off. Moments spend talking to her? 5 minutes! Energy wasted? 0! Time spent blogging about it? Priceless! I tell you if all my meetings were like this one, the world would be a better place to live in. So in a nutshell she just took the adapter that was on my bed and replaced it with the one from my wheelchair and Bob's your uncle! No filling of papers whatsoever and what else? Speech recognition is working properly today! Both fans are off and my A/C it's turned off... So speech recognition is affected by these things I guess... My apologies to the universe!

My mother finally went to the hospital today, apparently she has a whole bunch of issues that need to be treated at the hospital level. I hope she gets well, hopefully she will have a room by tomorrow and my girls can go and say goodbye before they leave to Las Vegas. I went over the scheduled with my little brother today and he doesn't have to put me on the chair except Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, Tuesday and Wednesday I get a bath early in the morning so the lady that gives it to me can put me on the chairs then...


I love it when a plan comes together!


Take care people!

Blogging is addictive

Hello!


Good something to you!

I know I said I wasn't going to blog anymore but it's an addiction thing, I will however take precautions now where I advertise my blog. I have approached the company Stumbleupon asking for clarification on why was that post privatize, I'm still waiting for a reply but in the meantime I will not be advertising myself on that site. This being said...

Two days before the girls hit Las Vegas and tomorrow my dog is off for her own vacation, so we begin a whole new week of being alone for a whole week, I wonder what I'm going to do. Well I got papers to fill, my printer finally has ink and I have to print different papers that my kids and their mother will be needing to take this trip. The plan at the current time is that my little brother will be coming to lift me into my chair, to feed me at lunch time and to put me to bed at night, he will be getting paid for this eventually, once the government finances my R&R that check is his. Oh, I forgot there's this person from the CMR coming over to talk about some things that they lend me and I thought I had given back but apparently that belong to another program, government things are really confusing.


Take care folks!

Stumbleupon

Hello!

It appears that if you want to read my blog in Stumble upon, you need to be subscribed!!! $14 dollars a year!?! Well somebody is making money from my blog and I will not tolerate this! I write for free and if anybody's going to make cash it will be me!

At this point I am going to consult my lawyer and see where do we go from here...no more blog for the moment people!!!

Take care of yourselves, it was fun while it lasted!!

What do I have to do to get a break?

Hello!


The universe really really has it against me!


Last post I said I was gonna go shopping because I was in a foul mood, so I did! I went with my little daughter only to have the universe laugh at me  on the way back. Let me tell you about how was my way back, fucking laughable!

So we bought the essentials chocolatines, yogurt, plums, bistro burgers and tortilla things, everything a man could ask for, it doesn't matter they are leaving anyway so I need to have resources here while they're away. But that's not the important part, the freaking important part was when I was coming back: it was freaking raining/lightning/thunder/hurricane winds!!! Really! I got caught in some freaky weather, as I write these lines I am wet to the bone. I'm pretty sure I got hit by lightning but I'm grounded so it's okay, not only that the freaking birds were laughing at me... Seriously! As I was coming by some trees I could hear the stupid birds chirping away as if to say what a moron! Only a serious handicap has to go out in this weather! What a freaking fruit cake!! Yeah my daughter got a bit wet because she  could this crossed the street right away and ran into the house. I had to go around some stupid cars, then come back to my street, get to my house, wait for my other stupid daughter to come and put me inside... If I was piss before now I am doubled piss and freaking wet! Plus I think my chair is on fire because of the lightning... Sucks to be me, really sucks to be me!


No seriously, I'm okay, I'm just wet but I do believe that stupid lightning hit me...


That's my afternoon for you take care people!


PS and I fucking smell bad!

Teenagers are a pain in the neck

Hello!


Grrrrrrrrrrr....woke up in a bad mood from my sleep!

Seems that the show I recorded about how the planet came to be put me in a bad mood, studid dinosaurs! It was an interesting show but when I woke up my living room was a mess! My teenage daughter believes that this is a freaking zoo, leaving her food remains all over the place while she watches her teenage crap on my computer! Then when I asked for her to come down and clean, she takes her fucking sweet time because she's changing to take out the dog and she's all freaking moody like if it's my fault that she left everything a mess! Dumb kids, but I know that later she will have her own and then she will see what she put us through, her mother and me!


Now the stupid voice recognition isn't working up to par, everything I say I have to correct it once or twice. I know it's not its fault, it is probably my A/C and the fan right beside me that are hampering away at recognition. So a teenager with a bad mood and a bad speech recognition because of the A/C and a fan have made me cranky. Now I'll have to go out and buy something to calm my nerves down... Stupid supermarket!


Take care people!


PS the keyboard and the stupid mouse aren't helping either... For my reader that gave me the mouse and the keyboard it's not been, they were no of use to me because they were PS2and I got USB keyboard or mouse. At this present moment in time, I hate my life... , Am I cranky or what?

Popular me

Hello!

Well a couple weeks ago I had posted that I had gone to the supermarket and I had seen a person that provides me with my bath once in a blue moon, a woman that had seen me naked before. Well guess who came and gave me my bath today? The same freaking lady... It was double awkward! So first she sees me naked, then she sees me at the supermarket and now she sees me naked again, what gives? Is she stalking me? Is she like madly in love with me and can't get enough of me? Guess the world will never know,ey? Furthermore when she was leaving it seems that her customer before me has heard of me! WTF? Apparently I'm all the rave in the MS world! Great, I was never popular when I was normal but now that I'm in a wheelchair I'm the hottest ticket in town! I'm not even famous because of my blog!? What does it take to get some teenage girls screaming after me because I'm good looking?


Well my bath is done, so now I have nothing better to do than to blog. The weather is a bit crappy a drizzle here and there followed by a sunny break. It's beginning to look a lot like autumn... Then winter and its snow... ah, crap Christmas is coming!


Well I'll blog you later people!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Hello!


Happy Tuesday people!


Well it's 9:00 AM and I haven't had my bath yet, this could only mean that I will be having someone new give me a bath because last week I had the same person for Tuesday and Wednesday and she told me she was going to be coming over at around the same time this week, guess what? Nobody's here... I'll wait!

The Vegas trip of my kids and their mother is taking a fast-paced towards its destination. They have their luggage where they are putting, or trying to put, their stuff plus the presents they have purchase for uncles and aunts and great grandmothers. They are trying to put everything into little luggages that they will be taking on as carry-on luggage and not registering it, thus saving 30 bucks! I remember when I use travel, luggage used to ride with you for free now you have to pay for it! Boy times do change... And not for the better!


The dog is leaving in two days to the doggie hotel and then the following day the girls are off on the plane, I believe it's Continental Airlines they are taking. I wish them a safe and secure flight and that they have lots of fun when they get to Vegas... Miss them already...


Take care folks!

My bath and a gamma ray burst

Hello!


Yes I'm late again, and it's not my fault!

Couple of weeks ago my life used to be on time all the time, but now everybody is on vacation so I had a Joe blow giving me a bath today. Never have I had anybody use so much water as this guy did. He put the towels to good use and I'm pretty sure my chair still a bit wet, beggars can't be choosy I guess.

People! Yesterday I was seeing a show that scare the living daylights out of me. You know that the strongest things in the universe are called gamma ray burst and if we ever received one we are practically pretty much toasted . It is the brightest thing in the universe and it is the most powerful one according to the show I saw. I know, I know, what about black holes and supernova? Well they're pretty much lame, a gamma ray burst is it's cause by the same thing that causes a black hole, a supernova. It was so interesting the show that I recorded it on my PVR so that I can be scare one more time and be scare all over again! And here's the kicker, apparently there's a couple of stars 18,000 light-years away from us that if they create I gamma ray bursts it will be coming our way, that means that we will have 18,000 years to party, or and this is a big or,  it has already happened and that burst is coming our way... But don't worry we won't feel a thing, except for the stupid kid who keeps on fucking about with my table on my back and yelling like there's no tomorrow fucking about my speech recognition....Dumb teenagers...


Take care people!

It hurts when I smile

Hello!


How are we this Monday?

Torturing device

It was a painful experience today regarding my catheter. First of all everybody and their mother is on vacation right now so it wasn't any normal nurse that I knew from the CLSC that came by to change the thing, it was a completely different nurse. She put me in bed, stripped me naked and commenced the operation. Everything is normal until she started to insert the catheter. Huumm, that's odd, I never felt that before. Wait a minute!? That's freaking pain! It freaking hurts! The nurse asked me to let her know if it was hurting, you bet your sweet ass is hurting!! So she pulled back the catheter and basically started to wonder what she had done wrong, I asked her if she had put some KY jelly to lubricate the...er... How should I put this? To lubricate the apparatus, the long and thick apparatus, the apparatus so big that it has made hookers cried in the past... Okay let me dream a bit! I would have thought that being in the year 2011 we would have better medical equipment, like a pill something to eliminate the urine from the body.

For those who don't know what the apparatus is, I am referring to my penis which needs to be lubricated so they can insert the catheter through it. Sorry for the big words, but big things require big words! I'm talking about the pain here. For some reason she had done everything as the other ones before her had done but for some reason it wasn't working. So she started fresh, took a new catheter out and proceeded to disinfect the area, put more jelly and inserted a new catheter once again. Success! This time it didn't hurt and everything went smooth. So what the fuck? What was wrong with the other catheter? As far as I can tell there was nothing wrong with it, I think the problem lay with her not putting enough jelly before... Only one more month to go before I' I don't have to wear the stupid catheter through my stupid penis... No more changing catheters!


Sorry about the gruesome details, I just wanted you to know what I have to suffer every month with the changing of the guards... Sorry catheters.


Take care folks!

Mcds Sunday

Hello!


I know! I know... I didn't show my face all day, right?

Well I have a good reason for it, it was a gorgeous day today and temperatures were mid-20s, no humidity, no freaking +30° heat. So I spent all day outside and I just came back in to have my lunch/supper and post something as not to break the chain I've been doing for the last two years. What did I have for lunch/supper? A Mac-rib! I love those things, brings me back when I was a kid and I used to eat them like a mad man back then. Today is a bit more difficult trying to grab the sandwich due to my illness but the taste remains the same. I can't wait for this evening when I will be having coffee with cinnamon flavor waffles.


So as you may have guessed it, I have nothing to write about right now. I will probably blog from my bed but at the present time I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still around, I haven't kicked the bucket nor do I plan to in the near future, then again it's not up to me is it? Knowing the universe he might play a nasty trick on you guys and eliminate me from the face of this earth...


Oh well que sera sera...


Take care people!

M'y hopes, my fears

Hello!

Well I was analyzing my life today, I always do this when I hear of the passing of somebody I know or somebody that wasn't supposed to die does so. In this case it was Amy Winehouse, she was only 27 years old and they found her dead, apparently a drug overdose.

So her death made me analyzed my life, she probably made more in her 27 years than I have done in my 43 years of living. I have always been the prudent one, not too hot nor too cool, my life has always been lukewarm. Yet when everybody sees my life they are astonish of the mayhem I have been trough and how now I'm in cruise control into what appears to be my sunset.

When I am asked what are my hopes people are often stupefied that my answer doesn't match my situation, fuck it walking is overrated, I've been there, done that. No, my hopes are that my daughters have a long healthy and happy life. I will be happy with this and if the universe wants to grant me something, this is what I want....

RIP Amy Winehouse, may you finally bee at peace with yourself!

Take care folks!

PS I got no fears. :)

eggs and spaghetti

Hello!

Just had my dinner cooked and served by my oldest daughter, it was a concoction of eggs and spaghetti cooked together into a spaghetti-omelette with melted cheese and spaghetti sauce inside, it was good! I do think however that I will be taking some Alka-Seltzer as a precautionary step, can't never be too careful.

Other than that I'm about to see the CFL on TV, I believe Toronto is playing with some other Canadian city, if it's not the Als I don't pay much attention. How is the NFL strike going? I know I haven't heard from them in a while and I really hope that they don't cancel the season, this would be devastating, I would feel that they have robbed the Washington Redskins of a potential champion... Go skins go!


I will see you tomorrow folks or later on from my bed...

One for the road

Hello!


I'm still around people, still around!

Well it's Saturday and my youngest daughter and her mother are going to the amusement park. It will be the last time they see the fireworks this year because next weekend they will be in Las Vegas. They are preparing themselves already, getting money together, preparing what they are going to wear over there and buying presents for relatives that live in that area. They are also preparing the fridge for me so that I may have something to eat when they're gone.


It's another hot and humid day out there so I'm impressed by my little daughter and her mother, kudos to them. What am I doing? I'm not gonna go outside if that's what you mean, I learned my lesson yesterday that when it's hot and humid and the weatherman says not to go out, then stay inside and do F-all!


That's my update for this Saturday!


Take care folks...

Put me some insulin and give me a beer

Hello!


Well it had to be done!

I just came back from the great outdoors and its terrible temperatures. At the beginning I thought it wasn't so bad, there was actually a breeze to make it feel tolerable. So the old noggin here started to work and it said "Chuck, I think you can go to the supermarket and buy some ice cream!" Yeah! Let's go to the supermarket and buy some ice cream for my clan. Folks, as I said yesterday my corner of the building is secluded and after a certain hour of the day it's very shadowy and it feels very comfortable, there's even a nice breeze to make anybody feel like it's not hot out there. So off I went to the supermarket.


Bad move! When I got into the street, into the blazing sun, my head started to boil! WTF man, this temperature cannot be tolerated by anyone! Any smart person would stay indoors with the A/C comfortable watching TV. But no, old Chuck here wanted to know if it was true what the weather people were saying: "stay inside, if you don't have to go outside then don't!"

No Chuck here thought he could make it out there, but for the record I did go to the supermarket on my own and I bought ice cream, sweet delicious decadent ice cream! And the crew was happy, and they gobble down the ice cream like there's no tomorrow! But I tell you one thing ladies and gentlemen, I learned today to respect the weatherman. When he says don't go outside, don't go outside. I stayed a bit out there and told my daughter to take my sugar level and give me a beer...


Well that's it people, I am going to take off my shoes, well... Somebody's going to take out my shoes and call it the day.


Take care folks!

Understanding humans

Hello!


Well there's half an hour of my life I'll never get back!

Guess what I did this fine hot midday? I was on hold, on hold for about 45 minutes trying to correct a problem that my cell company created and because it was my credit card that they play with it was up to me to call and cancel whatever at my credit card company. The main problem was that when I try to pay my cell according to their system, cell company, my credit card was declined. WTF? I have credit, what the hell is your problem!? So they did try it again, 3, 4 times and every time it was declined.


- "Sorry Mr. Guzman, you have to call your credit card company and figure it out"

It's not the first time that this company, Rogers communications, does this to me but this time they even had the guts to tell me they were going to disconnect my phone line if I didn't pay within the next five days. I told them that I had the same problem before with Rogers, and at the end the fault was on their side. They didn't want to listen to me so I had to call my credit card company. My credit card company told me that Rogers had passed three times the credit card and went they try to do it a fourth time the security team stop all credit on my side. They also told me it was going to take three days for the problem to resolved itself automatically. So I called Rogers back, this time it was a nice gentleman who picked up the phone and admitted that Rogers had issues the previous month with payments with credit cards so I shouldn't worry that it was probally going to get resolved by itself, he apologized and told me to call back in about four days and try to pay again.


If this world only had more customer service like this guy gave we wouldn't have any wars... I think


Take care people!

Road to freaking Avonlea

Hello!


It's Friday Friday Friday...ooooh! Friday Friday Friday...ooooh!


Sorry that song is stuck in my head!

So Today I did something I haven't done in a while, I saw the news! I thought it would have changed a bit by now but it wasn't the case. Canada a.m. still has very lame news compared to the French channels which tend to analyze everything but the kitchen sink. You know the one thing I remember from the news in Canada a.m.? That there's a guy/girl somewhere in Pennsylvania that is fed up with the heat and he/she decided to decorate their house with Christmas lights and a billboard that says "Let it Snow!". That's how bad the news was, the French side is even worse they had a special on the construction work holidays which are about to begin as of noon today.


Really?! This is the type of news I get? First of all Montréal news in English, in the morning, on CTV, are not existent! I used to watch these news before but for some reason they took them out! Why? Now I just stop watching the news altogether on CTV, I sometimes wander around to CBC but these news are too "Road to Avonlea", very Anglophone, very what Canada should be but it's not, at least not here in my neck of the woods.


Any hoot, that's what I did this morning and I can't wait for the news from Boston or New York this evening, believe it or not these are the news I watch in the afternoon.


WPIX11 rules, KTLA also!


Take care folks!

Bed posting

Hello!

Well it was a lazy day for blogging, lots of elements join forces to prevent me from posting as often as I usually do. The first was my late bath, followed by my daughters that came down from their refuge up there and probably took drugs or something because they were so freaking hyper; and in the afternoon?blame it on the magical box named the TV because they had some good HD programming. These were the reason why I didn't blog much, I promise tomorrow I will catch up.

This evenings the girls put up a fight because they didn't like the menu at supper time, it was sausages and potato salad. Apparently they were fed up of sausages for this month and the potatoes were the small type and they didn't like that type. Ask me if I got leftovers, go ahead ask me! No they devoured 2 large sausages each and masticated there way trough the potato salad. Kids! Who gets them....

Take care folks!

Going ballistic

Hello!


Well there goes half an hour of useless time spent on the phone!

Yes well I was filling papers and I had to call the government because even though they're going to grant me some money I still have to fill out papers and government papers can be confusing. Worst, when you call for help the person at the end of the line really doesn't know what the heck you're talking about. Case today, I called because I have to fill up these three papers and most of it I understand but there's some questions that I don't know if I have to send a copy of something or not and they can't provide me with the right answer! I called the first time and the person that answered said that I had to send a copy of my citizenship act, then I called a second time and asked another question regarding the citizenship paper I needed to send a copy of, guess what this person told me? Right! I don't have to send a copy of my citizenship act because they have it on file. I was glad to hear this because I have been living here for 35 years, I wonder what they ask Canadians born in this country? A birth certificate to prove that you were born...


DUH!


Take care people!

Better late than never

Hello!


Good something people!


So we are at 34°C, 44° humidity factor! Hot, real hot!

Don't be pissed at me, had a late bath and my daughters were extremely noisy today! I got papers to fill up more and more as the days pass. The latest one came yesterday and it is to be filled up so that the government can't give me a grant to help me pay the rent. I love this country! Now that I'm disabled I have found so many programs to help you and your family make ends meet.


As a passing note, the statistics of my last post yesterday were also hampered by a burst of people coming to read my blog or zoomed by it. I don't mind this actually gives me more chances of getting more permanent readers, I mean it is bound to happen that one of those zoomers actually reads my blog and likes it, then he will tell other people and they will tell other ones and so on and so on and so on... Isn't the Internet great?


Well I'm off to settle problems here and there...


Take care people!

Coo-coo for Coco puffs

Hello!


I have to stop eating weird shit for lunch!

Remember how yesterday I said I had a weird dream during my nap after lunch? Well it happened again! Two dreams in a row where I get lost, I know where I am but I don't know how to get back. Yesterday's dream was about me taking the bus line number "5" that takes you to Montréal in the rush hour and I got off at the wrong stop. Today's dream was about me going to the shopping mall and getting lost inside the mall! I know that freaking mall like the back of my hand, chances of me getting lost in their are zilch! So what gives?

Why am I getting lost in my dreams? And every time I'm about to ask somebody how to get back, those persons avoid me!! So obviously I am terrified and I wake up! I probably have to read on the Internet what is the meaning of getting lost in your dreams. Maybe I finally cracked, you know loosing it. I wonder if it has to do with the trip of my girls to Las Vegas? It could also be that yesterday and today I had a beer with my lunch or definitely, definitely, I am going boinker...



Here's hoping you had an excellent day today people!

PS I'm freaking frustrated! That's what my dreams mean according to this link of dreams

A stroll in the hood

Hello!

Well old Chuck here was smarter than mother nature today, I decided to go out when the temperature was still hovering at around 25° (29° humidity). I went out for a stroll around the neighborhood and I went to the park, you know to to see if the scenery would change my thoughts on suicide, they didn't, I still don't approve of suicide.Kidding aside, I went for a long stroll and I found the bridge that I could cross over and get to the big mall, Champlain mall. There's two ways I could go about, the first one is the Boulevard, just go on and keep on going until it reach the mall; the other one I found out today is if I cross that little bridge I'm on the other side of the Boulevard, a spit away from the mall! I didn't go all the way today because I knew it was going to get hotter and hotter as the day progressed, right now we already hit 33° with the humidity factor... So I'm staying put here today, my brave daughter is going to the fireworks this evening with her mother, what a brave girl!

So me and my crew found today that Bistro products from Stuffers are really really really good and that I am considering buying several of them so that I may have while my people are out in Las Vegas. They are a bit expensive on the pockets but I think they are worth it... You know I should get paid for mentioning products on my blog but it's part of my everyday life I like to share with you.


Take care people!

It's getting hot in here

Hello!


Happy hump day people!


We are T-9 days before my girls hit the plane to go to Las Vegas, I'm excited for them!

In the meantime we have to deal with this heat coming our way, yeah it's going to be a bad one. My bath persons are talking about it and some of them have even canceled the day camps of their kids. The day camp is a place where you go and drop your child during the day so he can do activities and then you pick them up late in the afternoon. So my bath girl of today canceled the day camp of her kids because it's going to be really hot today, tomorrow, after tomorrow and so on... I think until about Monday. But this is good, it's going to train my daughters before they split to Vegas. So today I am not freaking crazy, I will stay in all freaking day long and watch people sweat it out outside...


So what am I going to do? I dunno, I have nothing planned for my slowmo Wednesday! Maybe watch some TV, perhaps listen to some music and I'm pretty sure I'm going to catch up some zzzzzzzzzzz. I will find something don't worry, I hope that you guys have a good time wherever you are.


I'll catch you later.

My afternoon

Hello!

Let me tell you about my afternoon, it was a sleepy one followed by a rest outside on my patio and going to buy some chocolatines for tonight.

So this afternoon I fell asleep on my chair and had a weird dream that I was lost walking in my city....I won't go into details because I am posting from my bed on my iPod touch. Then I woke up because I was freezing my butt off, I turned off the A/C and asked my daughter to take me out. After awhile of being outside I decided to stroll over to the supermarket and buy some chocolatines so I can have one with my coffee....I am addicted to them...

Take care!

Statistically speaking

Hello!


What gives?

My last post stats are probably distorted by a robot software. I know the number of hits I get every day but my last post generated in a couple of minutes over 400 hits... Not normal! Because I'm sure this post is going to go back to the normal number of hits. I don't know, call me old-fashioned but I like it when I know people are actually reading my post and not just somebody zooming by clicking away on the "next blog button".

It's a beautiful day out there I think I will go out for walk...er... a ride. I better take advantage of the weather today and tomorrow because as of Thursday it's going to be +40° humidity factor included. That's no good for me, I can't stress it enough that it's a downfall for MS patients. I told my oldest daughter to keep in mind the heat she's going to feel on Thursday and compared it to the one of Las Vegas. She will then understand the difference between a humid heat and a dry one.


Well that's my two cents about the stats and the heat coming our way, I hope you have a wonderful day.


Take care people!

A working Tuesday

Hello!


Good Tuesday to you people!

The movie network is showing very good movies this month, yesterday I recorded already "the tourist" and I have other ones lined up to record on my PVR. God bless the guy who invented the PVR, life has never been the same since I got it. And I know that in the states you can record something in one room and see it in another one, I don't know if we have `that technology here yet, maybe Telus is looking into it.

Well it's getting closer and closer now, the Vegas trip is starting to ask some time of my life. Like yesterday, I found out that I have to make some letters allowing my girls to travel alone with their mother, actually it's my lawyer that it's going to take care of that, I should have them by the end of the week. Also I have to buy some ink for my printer so that I might be able to print the confirmation from the air company the girls are traveling with, as well as a circus tickets I bought for them.

I also have my little brother trying to fax a letter to the people of my home insurance, I would like to cancel with them so I can go with another company but they insist in having it by writing and my brother cannot fax it because he said that number is wrong, I tried the number and it works perfectly. So it's going to try one more time in the afternoon and if it doesn't work I'll have to give it to my lawyer, again. It's okay my lawyer is my brother...


Take care people!

Lollipops and tears

Hello!

How are you this fine night?

I took a small break from my Tyni Towers game to come and blog a little for you guys.

Well Hell's Kitchen is back on and it is now officially getting on my nerves! It is always the same formula, the chef yells at useless people and they must take it if they want to win the competition and win a dream job. Boooring! It was fun at the beginning but now, bleah!

This evening was a very quiet one for me, once again I was thinking a lot on the post I did today on life being short and I came to the conclusion that I have to become tougher or I will be plunged into a depression and I don't want that! Last time I went loco was when I was 16 while doing a crazy water diet, the ordeal cost me $400 dollars in model airplanes....

Take care!

Petraeus hands over Afghanistan command to general - CTV News

Petraeus hands over Afghanistan command to general - CTV News

Second by second...

Hello!

Well my Monday has been done, I have made my calls and made modifications to what I want as an exit with the CLSC lady.


You know it was scary when I spoke with her, she basically said that once these modifications are done usually people tend to stay there until, how should I put this? Until the stuff is no longer needed, in other words until I kick the mega-bucket. Scary isn't it?! Life goes by so fast, it's not even funny. I guess that you guys don't see time because you are active members of society, but I'm not. You don't see time when you're in up to your head with delays, cancellations, modifications, firings/hirings, everyday stuff. In my case I really am sitting, watching and waiting, I see second by second. Before I was in the middle of things, I would feel like I was useful to society in some way. Nowdays everything is hidden away from me, I don't have any stress whatsoever and if I do somebody's taking care of it: "let's not stress Mr. Guzman..."


So basically I was told that if I was going to make these changes here, in general, it means that this is the place where I'm going to be living until I die, although the law states that I can move after five years. I don't know, it didn't sit well with me. I saw my life pass me by, the girls grown up, the car paid off, my dog dead,  my oh my does time fly when you're having fun...


Take care people see you tomorrow!


PS I still want the exit through the front door and not through the patio CLSC lady!

Domain name problems

Hello!

I've just finished speaking with DomainPeople, this is the company where I have registered my domain name for the last 9 years. I was a baby back then, only 34 years old. I was ready to fight all battles then. It's amazing how time flies, I mean my oldest one is 13 years old now and the youngest one? Well she's a stone throw away, pretty soon I'll have two moody teenagers on my hands.


Anyway, I called DomainPeople because I wanted to create a website for my genealogy tree but I tried using their web builder and it doesn't seem to be compatible with my Internet browser, chrome, and I can't seem to make it work with Internet Explorer version 9 either. So people that were going to guzman.ca were getting a temporary page that told them the site was being constructed. Lies! All lies. I would have work on my webpage but pupucaca, not compatible at all and my people were being forwarded to a lie. So I call them and told them to deactivate my webpage and forward my domain name to my blog's address.


That was the highlight of my morning... Oh, I also had to call my CLSC representative and tell her that I didn't want to go through the patio door anymore. I think she was pissed, what can you do!


Well take care people...

Memories from my childhood

Hello!


Just finished having my bath and the person who does it is off on vacation as of next week.

I have touched this point with my daughters before and now I touched it with their mother. When I was a kid my father used to live with us and my mother would be there in the mornings and afternoons but then would go to her boyfriends place a.k.a. my stepfather, but my mother is not important in this story. What is important is that my father used to have his own little world, with a very small bed and a refrigerator inside of his room. That's right, a small refrigerator where he would keep his stuff so that the kids wouldn't touch it, meaning my brothers and I. Even though we lived in the same house, we lived very far apart. The guy used to be like a Swiss watch, wake up at 4 AM, exercise, take a five minute shower and then serve himself some breakfast and I don't remember if he had milk inside that little fridge for his Allbrand cereal, my father was very regular. He also used to take a tea that would help eliminate impurities from his body... Good old dad! Well my father is gone now, the last time I saw him I was just beginning my downfall into hell, he gave me $200 dollars and talked about the weather, it was the last time I ever saw him. Apparently he's happy and all living in Ottawa... More power to him!


Why do I bring this up? Well I finally understood the meaning and usefulness of the refrigerator. I like to have coffee at nights with a chocolatine, so I buy them frequently and frequently I am told that they are finished. There's like 12 of them in every fucking bag, how could this be?!? Well I have kids... And they don't stop for nothing, if I didn't watch it I would be eaten out of my place. Those guys can eat, sorry, those girls can eat! I think my oldest brother still has that little refrigerator, I think when I get news that my father has passed away I will sue him for that refrigerator, it's part of our heritage not only his...I think I will put a lock and a key. God I'm getting old...


Take care folks!

Stage collapse leaves fans, bands shaken in Ottawa - CTV News

Stage collapse leaves fans, bands shaken in Ottawa - CTV News

Jailbreak my ass

Hello!


Thank God for backups!

My brain of a daughter decided to "jailbreak" her iPod touch and she was successful! Now she has different games that have been broken down and she got a shit load of money in them. So what's the next logical step? Jailbreak daddy's iPod touch! Go for it brains! So she took my itouch and she started to do that voodoo that she sometimes does so well and lo and behold... She lost all my freaking information! What a dumb kid! If you're going to do something on somebody else's computer or system make sure that you are successful you little shit! Well my genes must be in there somewhere because the first thing she said once I had lost all my information was "let's restore a backup"... Smart shit head, exactly the same thing I would have said if I would have fucked up something! Like father like daughter, everything came back to normal, I did lose one floor on my Tiny Towers game but I got everything back...


My stinking kid...


Take care all see you tomorrow!

Sitting in the shadows

Hello!

Well my shopping is done and I'm still standing...er...sort off. There are warnings of high humidity/high temperatures but I'm sitting pretty outside!

What gives may you ask! Understandable, but you see my place is at the farthestside of the building so when it passes 2PM there's nice shadow with a more then a gentle breeze stroking my hair...???!..

I have haïr! besides with a couple of beers in me i look gorgeous...

Take care!.

Tea anyone?

Hello!


Good day people!

Well I'm about to start my Sunday by going to the supermarket and getting some stuff for the house. Needless to say it's T. -2 weeks before the girls go to Las Vegas and have "fun". I just finished seeing the movie Godzilla with Matthew Broderick, I know it's an old freaking movie, 1998, but believe it or not this is one of the rare films that I hadn't seen in my life, so it had to be done.

So what's going on with my life? Well it was a first at the Guzman household, my oldest daughter spent the day with the porcelain god. Yeah, she's into tea lately and yesterday she took a tea that was in the cup boards and she made it. She didn't know where it came from, but it tasted good... Folks I have had my mother-in-law stayed over a couple of times and this is where I think the tea came from. Well we found soon found out what the tea was for, it was for "cleansing your stomach" so my daughter has a clean stomach now... I'll bet it's the last time she'll take some freaking tea that's been laying around!


You gota love the kids.... no brains


Take care people!