Well it seems I touched a nerve when it comes to hamsters, a couple of people wrote on my Facebook wall to inform me that hamsters were nocturnal and if I didn't know this. I answered back that if I would have known this I would have bitch slapped Santa back to the pet store to get something else. Then there was this other post of guy who is still traumatize because when he was a kid he had a hamsters himself and that hamster gave birth to little hamsters, the guy didn't know so he touched one of the baby hamsters and guess what happened? The freaking mother ate him, I think that guy still has nightmares about the whole thing. Well I answered back to him that I wouldn't need to go that gross, that I already had a plan and it was called Lola...
The plan is simple, I will buy an Anaconda and late at night when my kids and wife are asleep I would set Lola free, she will slide up the stairs where the hamsters are and basically destroyed their cages and have a snack. Yuki and Gigi will never know what hit them! Snakes can climb stairs right? Let's hope so!
- "Genius Chuck! But what happens now with the snake?"
Well Lola's work is not done yet, she still has to take care of that bitch that lives in the woods. You know, little J.'s mother, no she is not the bitch her dog is. Remember that the parents of little J. in an attempt to make the kid happy bought him a puppy pit bull? Well it's time to pay the price.
I intend to go to their house bring the snake with me and set her loose. Amber the bitch will never know what took place. I will have an alibi for this, I will act surprise claiming I didn't know that their neck of the woods had snakes! Well what do you want? That's what you get for living so far into the woods, I mean we're in the 21st century and they live in a place where there's no bathroom inside their house, they have an outhouse and basically if you want to go to the loo you have to go out of the house into a small shack, kneel down onto a hole and voilà! They got bear patrols for crying out loud, so if Lola didn't get Amber a bear cub probably would have.
Okay, I'm pushing it a bit, they don't have an outhouse but the place is really really far from here and they didn't get little J. a puppy pit bull but a German Shepherd that hopefully will grow and take care of little J. for a while. But you have to admit, the plan sounds awesome...
Take care people!
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