Nasty weekend ahead

Hello!

Well I just got off the phone with... My mother! And guess what? Your fucked!!!

If you were planning to go to the beach or to do a walkabout near a volcano, please change your plans. I don't know what channels she sees for the news but that channel must be the apocalyptic channel. She called and basically started off by saying:

- "... On the news I heard that this weekend they are predicting the possibilities of earthquakes and and volcanoes eruptions!"

Okay, I asked her what region was this for, after all if volcanoes are going to go off and the Earth is going to be shaking I need to know because it's going to be difficult trying to outrun lava in a wheelchair, not to mention all that rattling and shaking while speeding away to safety. Guess what she answered? Guess?


- "They're predicting this for all over the world!"

Great! Just great! And I wanted to go and see a movie this weekend, now my plans are fucked! It's going to be hard trying to explain this to my daughters:


- "Hey babies, no we cannot go see a movie this weekend, we're going to have Volcanoes and some earthquakes."

But it's not over, then she tells me that she also heard that in Brazil the beaches were all closed due to giant waves making it impossible for tourists to enjoy the place. I swear if my mother was the president of the USA she would have pushed the Armageddon button a long time ago so that the end of the world took place. Why? Why does she want this thing to end? And it's not only her, my cousin has also commented that come next year she will prepare the Christmas dinner with a special cyanide sauce so that all the family can die happily ever after! The sad part about this is that my wife has a tendency to believe this shit, it doesn't matter how logical I sound it is always "but what if they are right?".

So in a nutshell, stay home this weekend apparently is going to be real crappy out there it doesn't matter where you live, if volcanoes don't get you, an earthquake will definitely hit you!

I hope you guys are there to read me on Monday!