So what

Hello!

Here I am in bed thinking about my decisions in life, did I do right by them, will it get better, will it get worst. I mean today I was happy that I am finally going to be able to go out but then I realized that it really doesn't matter. I can go out and for what?? I cannot go shopping, I cannot use my hands and everything is off limits to me! I will basically go out and sit outside, I guess something is something, I just though I would be happier...I'm not