Wishing I could fly

Hello!

Good day folks…

I know, I know, my post of last night was rather negative and very unusual compared to my posts that I do.  But what do you want, life is complicated. I had another face to face with reality last night and man how the brain loves to  plays tricks with your head!!

I promise this will be my last post today about postpartum MS depression, the show must go on!  You see what triggered the whole thing was the event that my wife is planning, summer vacations.  Trust me I’m on board with my kids and her having some R&R, we have discussed this in the past and I always have agreed that they should have a break from my illness.  But when will I get a break?!  I have to live with this thing 24/7/365, there are no breaks for me!  I must consider myself lucky that I am where I am because it could’ve been worst…  Yet my brain still thinks the old fashioned way, back when we would do things together, like a real family should.  Now we live together, they take care of me, but it has become a helper-helped relationship and not a mother-daughters-father one.  This illness kind of defeats the purpose of me being here…This was my beef with myself last night; now how about that PSG team? No, I really don’t care about them, I was just making small talk....

Have a good one people!

PS Thanks for the encouraging words bro, but as I said: Same shit different day..