What gives?

Hello!


So this morning was a busy one, okay at least for my wife. She had to get me up, prepare breakfast, drop the kids, drop the car for service. I also know that this morning I have an appointment with the occupational therapists, something about devices to make my life easier again.

But since I am more Zen now I will concentrate on this blog and not my future appointment.

So yesterday night my youngest daughter asked me a question that I had to think about the answer so that her curiosity would be satisfied.

- "Dada, why are you so fat?".

Good question! I could have brushed her off by telling her that I would answer that only if she told me why she was so ugly. But that would have lead into other questions and accusations of DNA plus I was still on a high due to the movie Independence Day the previous day. Also, my oldest daughter was hanging around just waiting for me to answer as if I was going to reveal the meaning of the universe. No, I'm smarter than that!

You know baby, daddy wasn't always like this, she gives me the dumb puppy look. No, before you and your sister came along the word fat didn't apply to me. Back then daddy was known as phat, that's P. H. A. T. do you know what it stands for?

- "No".

Well baby, it stands for Pretty Hot And Tempting. Yeah pumpkin! Your daddy was a hot commodity back in those days. Your sister and you made me what I am today. I used to have hair, I used to dress sharp, I was all muscles plus I was really really good looking. -And then people ask why kids are all messed up these days-

the oldest one being more mature quickly asks:

- "Well, where are all the pictures?"

My dear child, back in 1998 we had a mini ice age here in Québec. Unfortunately we lost all the pictures of how mommy and I used to look. But we were a site to see. Then you two came along and it was all downhill from there.

-"So what happened to all your muscles?"

Well sugar, with time and inactivity due to MS they became relaxant. This basically means that they are there but they're kinda sleeping. So if one day daddy decides to wake them up, it will take only a couple of days before Mr. muscles would show up again.

Where do I come up with these answers? I'm good!

If my kids end up being like calamity Jane or Thelma and Louise it's their mother's fault. If they somehow end up being famous and rich I probably had something to do with it.


As for my answer, I'm almost certain that they didn't believe an ounce of what I said but it was worth a try.


So much for good weekend