Doc

Hello!

Good day folks!

So another funny post from el Chucko, ey?

Doctor is out

No, not today!...Today I was reminded by what we all as humans face, death. My Doctor, my friend, my brother, my MS comrade past away. I don’t know if it was today or yesterday or maybe last year, all I know is that I got the call from my mother today in which she asked me to say a little prayer for the Doc.

He was my doctor since I was a stupid teenager, he saw all of us get married, he was the first one our wives saw when they were pregnant, he was there when I got diagnose with Cance…sorry… MS (wrong illness)…. And today I found out that he passed away of MS complications, at least that’s how I see it, at the tender age of 54. F_ME! My mother claims that it was due to germs/viruses he had picked up while in the hospital, I don't buy it. I know that this is where all of us are heading and that what counts is the experiences we lived through, but trust me, it still a shocker when someone that was involved in your life passes away… ..

Well on with the show...

RIP Doc, you will be missed….

Mind the light switch

Hello!

I had no electricity for about 2 hours!!!...okay it was more like 10 minutes but it felt long…. But my question is: we are a producing province; we got large mother F-er dams, so, what gives? Why do we lose electric power? I mean every month I have to dish out $160  for electricity and if I’m late, I won’t hear the end of it… maybe I should go off the grid or something…..

Any hoot, I’ve been doing research on my family again. I’ve been trying to find out the name of the market lady who stole my great-grandfather’s heart; my cousin is no help, she doesn’t remember her name. I have to dig into the e-books and find out something there…

Take care folks!!

The professional

Hello!

Just finished my bath and now I’m about to contemplate the ceiling….

…But I got to tell you about my visit to my brother’s place yesterday; it was nice…. You kinda get sentimental because you were able to do all these things before, like jump in the pool, and now you can’t. I told my niece that one day I’m just going to ride my chair into the pool so that I fall into it and I'll be dragged down by the weight of the chair; once down there I will unlatch my seat belt and float back to the top….. poetic shit… please don’t try this on your own, I’m a professional fruit cake and therefore can take care of myself…..  Like I almost lit myself on fire because I dropped a mini-cigar (cigarillo) on myself and once again my poor niece witnessed the event with horror in her eyes but I reassured her not to worry that I would have put the fire out by dozing it with the beer I was drinking…. I’m just freaking that good…. End of the day I was dead because of the humidity and had to be rushed into my climate controlled polar bear cage…..I hate MS….

Take care folks!!

The exorcism that never was

Hello!

Good Monday folks!

Well, turns out I didn’t need a priest to perform an exorcism on the washing machine; nope! And J man didn’t exactly help either! Like all man he saw the manual instruction and dispose of it, no I didn’t read it either, but I have an excuse; it’s printed on a dark gray on gray paper…. So what, you say?! I got freaking Glaucoma!!!! You try to differentiate certain colors when you have this shit! And furthermore, I’m pretty sure that one of you guys knew the solution but didn’t bother to tell me…. Obviously, I AM forever alone!... It was 3 stupid bolts that needed to be taken out so that the drum could spin freely! Now the washing machine is working properly and I got clean bed sheets, no thanks to you!

Have a good one folks! 

The unexpected brunch

Hello!

Soooo, it’s an early morning for me and my crew. J man and little J’s mom are here to look into the flying washing machine issue… Yesterday I went and bought a rubber mat that apparently will help eliminate vibrations of the expensive stupid toy…. F_me, why does this thing happen to me!?...

We had a brunch J man and me, cream cheese and salsa bagels. Good shit if you ask me, perfect combination between 2 cultures… Jewish and Mexicans… and all eaten by a Salvadorian-Canadian who lives 45 minutes away from the States… it doesn’t get any better than that…

That’s my Saturday… I’ll see ya Monday!

Enjoying my afternoon

Hello!

Olympic time!! I know, some of you don’t believe in a friendly competition but I like it. Maybe because in my youth, although fat, I was an extremely good athlete… Don’t laugh, I went to the school commission Olympics when I was in 6^th grade; then later on in life I excel in badminton… People used to see me walk in the court and they would laugh –they probably said something like the fat boy is mine- and once we finish the game… they would be crying…. Yeah, I was good…. So I like the Olympics, it brings my competitive side out…..go team whomever!

So I got my light bulbs working properly… Every time we tried to change a burnt light, the stupid bulb would split in have; the metal part would stay in the socket and the bulb (the glass) would come off! WTF?! We were running on 2 bulbs! I finally got an electrician to come and take out all the broken bulbs out of the sockets… now I have 7 new bulbs and my place is lit up like a Christmas tree….

That’s ma day folks! See you Monday…

The Universe has one twisted plan

Hello!

I’m sorry…. I was distraught over this whole Bella, Edward fiasco… Now there is team Edward, team Jacob and team “F_ME! I’m the luckiest  guy in the world!”.. How did he get the girl at the end?! Oh well, i guess is one of those things that happens once in a trillion years and we were lucky enough to be there....

So this weekend is shaping up for me; tomorrow? Diddly squat! Sunday? Going over to my brother for my nephew's birthday celebration. And....and... I will probably go next week to buy the stands for the washer and dryer; we are blaming this for the more than heavy shaking when the washing machine is in that cycle when it spins at 1300 rpm. So we want to give the machine the benefit of the doubt before we move places due to this; I'm not going to dish out $2300 (now $2700 with the stands) for a high performance machine that is not working properly! I really don't care, but my vieja thinks the end of the world is here because the machine shakes, rattles & rolls.... literary... She's already thinking of buying a special mat to make the floor even and stop the machine from flying away.....


I got a lot on my plate and I will be out all freakinf weekend, but rest assure.... I will keep on blogging!

Take care folks!

BBQing steaks

Hello…. And Goodbye!

Just throwing a quick post before I go out there and BBQ my ass off on some fine steaks I bought; plus there is going to be salad and French fries. Oh yeah, I am also off to the supermarket to buy some Viennoise pastry made with cheese for ma wife and me since the kids are just too stupid to like European crap…

Take care folks!

Days like today...

Hello!

My grandmother used to say that “Punctuality was a king’s virtue”, well if such is the case then B&M is the king of kings. My RT64 unit yelled out a loud ring at 7:00AM sharp; it was the washer and dryer dudes informing me that they would be here in 15 minutes. Yay! I summoned my wife into a frenzy, waking her up from her dreams of sexiness… gad I’m good when I’m happy… and 15 minutes later, my patio door was being knocked on.  First of all the guy was hesitant about bringing the appliances through the patio door, according to him they were not going to fit, but after trying one appliance… It worked!! So 2 new high performance appliances went up and 2 beat up soldiers left the battlefield having performed their duty beyond their expiry date…. Sniff sniff, a Hallmark moment folks…so as of 7:30AM I have. at my disposition,  the latest technology available to mankind when it comes to doing laundry; so don’t fuck with me or I’ll wash your clohes off….. I wonder what other gadget they’ll come up that I will be suckered-in into buying?....

Take care folks!

Babbling my ass off

Hello!

Had a good day, getting use to my hands being shot… thus my cutback on blogging, until I buy a new headset for voice recognition app. I know, a dime a dozen, but I have to think twice before spending cash; either my kids have food or I get a headset…. Alright, not true! Either I play the lottery or I buy a headset…. I’m an addict, I mean what if I stop playing and my numbers come up?? It’s a pain having non-diagnosed OCD… I mean, I could have it but I don’t… My head is screwy…. Tomorrow? WASHER AND DRYER DAY!.... I will probably never see them but I will sleep soundly knowing that the spin cycle of the washing machine has been clocked at 1200 rpm….Cool… Plus the vibration control mechanism and not to mention its tilted drum so that with time it will not stink up the place… I tell you I am set!... Any hoot, I wish you and yours a happy whatever you want it to be… I will see you in a next llfe cycle…

Take care folks!

PS happy 115 Emilia!

Enjoying the day

Hello!

Good day people…

Another humid day out there and believe or not, I’ve been bathed and fed and ready to start my day… Oh, I also reserved a bus for my nephew’s bash on Sunday all the way to Kirkland city; so let’s see with what cockamamie thing they come up with to impede me from attending…..

Yesterday night was an awesome display of power from nature; thunder and lightning everywhere, We even lost power for 10 seconds and we were seeing this cool show on ghost…… Well the power outage caused harm to my kitchen clock but that’s about it… we returned to our tv viewing after the power came back up…. Heeey… I’m getting my appliances tomorrow between 7:0JAM and last call into the night L… but I am getting them!!!

Take care folks… My hands are dead and I’m calling dibs on Animal crossing…

My happy place

Hello!

I had a temp bath guy because my Monday bath guy was off today and my bath was kinda okay…. I feel clean but not that clean…. I’m in a screwy dewy state of mind, I know I should be happy that I got my new super duper washer and dryer coming in but the delivery will only take place until the 1^st of august and not tomorrow like promised…. So why the f do they ask me when I want them delivered??.... Well it sucks people, it sucks…. And now the CLSC called because they want to move on the big bed they are going to give me, I don’t know when I’ll get it but I will get one… 

Did I tell you I went to Costco?? I LOVE THAT PLACE!!... we bought so much crap that day… it was fun! Then I had a smoked meat sandwich and to end my day, ma wife picked up a fight wisth some schlep who claimed she couldn’t park in the handicap place without a permit… guess what buddy? She got one…. Ohw, cassé (got served!)!!

Take care folks!

I got had by myself

Hello!

A good day to you all…

Sooo, what did you do all this time I was absent?..... Me, myself and I did diddly squat for 3 days. I mean I did went to buy the washing machine that somehow turned to a dryer/washing machine in the night of Thursday to Friday...Yeah, my wife told me on Wednesday that the buildings washing machine sucked and we needed a new one, I agreed; on Thursday night everything had changed. We were going to see what special offers were out there for a dryer and a washing machine…. F me! My ass is going to belong to the man for 3 years, minimum.

So we did go on Saturday and I got there first; why? Why?! Folks, I’m a sucker for anything that’s on sale and if you throw in a good salesman, the sky is the limit! It happened, the guy had me on his hooks within seconds of saying high performance  washer and dryer, Samsung is the best and $60/month on 36 months…. I was drooling… I was going to brainwash my wife into that pair of appliances…they were going to be mine… so, she came, the salesman and I rush into her brain and presto, bob’s your uncle I got suckered into buying HP(as they like to call it) washer and dryer….I’m really my worst enema….

Take care folks!

MS intermission

Hello!

I just saw an email from my brother regarding a friend’s friend who was just diagnosed with MS. Sad, I perhaps, know some things that the guy is going to be going through. I told my brother to provide him with my number as perhaps I can be of assistance in his journey through this health crisis he is going to go through. The most important thing he has to know is that every MS case is diferent and that life doesn’t end there… My sister-in-law’s mom told me something when I first got diagnosed: "When God closes one door, he opens a window"….. True, very true… On a lighter note, have you ever seen an MS person try to go through a window?.... Huh?Huh?....anybody? High 5?!... Com’on, you know it’s funny!

wusses ……

Weekend ahead

Hello!

Yeah, I know; late right? Wrell it was a gorgeous day out there and I took advantage of it by sitting outside looking prwetty….. I came back, hands are shot, played Animal Crossing and voila, posting my life away….

I got to call this store to see if they are wheelchair accessible; have to go there with my wife and buy a washing machine…..whoopee freaking doodle…. I don’t care about that, if my nana used to wash my clothe by hand back in the days, why can’t she do the same? I write this because the ugly sister is going to read this and call her and she’ll go like “Que onda con tu macho?!”; then my wife will call me back and I will deny everything. Bonus exit though, I will refill my BBQ tank once there!!! So it’s kinda good…

Take care folks! 

PS Hey in-law, click the freaking publicity.... I need cash!

The inseminator

Hello!

Good day to you all…

I'm bigger in real life

Just finished my bath with a “babe” named Linda, apparently my Thursday bath guy and I aren’t in the same wavelength when it comes to girls. This person is the one replacing my guy while he’s vacationing and he had told me I was getting a knockout of a bath girl… Yeah well, no. First of all she reeks of cigarettes and it’s not that I don’t like people like that, it’s just that they smell funny! Secundo, I'm hitched and I'm a secretly happy homo....okay, not true but she came to my house with the promise she was going to get pregnant and it's not going to happen. Although my reputation at the CLSC is one of a breeder and even if the last 6 CLSC people, nurses and bath people, plus a social worker, have left on maternity leave and I was the last patient they saw, it was luck! .. So Linda came because she wants to have a kid and I was her last hope…. And right now it’s all jokes and laugh but I guarantee you that when I become rich, I will have so many paternity suits it’s not even funny….

Take care folks and please click on the advertising on top; daddy needs a new pait of shoes!!

Squeak squeak

Hello!

I HAVE A NEW PURPOSE IN LIFE!

Screw winning the lottery or enlarging my already large penis, no! My mission in life is…drum roll…to make an unbreakable squeaky toy that Olivia cannot break. Every time she gets one, 20 minutes top, she beaks it. This week she has gone through 3 of them so far! I’m pretty sure she’s gonna get 2 more so she can have fun…maybe we should start betting on how long it takes her to destroy it…

Angel my ass!!

Beam me up Scotty!

Maybe

Hello!

After my bath, I talked to the girl that provided me with the service and we had an awkward moment where both she and I fell quiet as if destiny was emerging from nothingness; kinda like the big bang. I had to ask, it was going to be my only opportunity, I may never going to see her again, it was a “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?....” moment; I had to talk:

-          “So if I won the lottery does the CLSC still send people over to give me my bath knowing full well that I can now afford that on my own?

She assured me that they still take care of such thing as I am part of the system; and to the system everybody is equally entitle to be serviced…. You don’t know what load she had taken off my shoulders, I felt I could play my numbers at ease knowing that I had people behind me. So, I went to Maxi, the cheap food store, bought some groceries and played my lotto tickets fully confident that tonight destiny will reward me…..Aaaaah, can you smell that? Money!!

Take care folks!

The N word explained

Hello!

ARGH…!

-          “ Are you okay Chuck?”

No voice, I’m not okay! I’m in one of those moods where I hate everybody; where everybody is my enemy. I mean, I woke up this morning in such a bad mood that I made it a resolution that if I won the lottery jackpot I was, am, going to give the finger to my family and not share my fortune! I will take the money and run… I’ll move to a country that has no extradition treary with Canada and become a dead beat dad……

Yeah, I’m in a bad mood…. If I had a nuclear missile I would probably nuke France just because…Great, just great! Look what you made me do!! I used the “N” word!! Now you got me in trouble with Homeland security; last time I was in trouble with them was because I used the words President and kill in the same post. I was chloroformed to Washington to explained why I had selected those particular words to use in my post… I got to learn the meaning of the word “truth syrup enema”; me and John became good pals….So I used the “N” word and my hands are shot, all before 1:00PM, it’s going to be a great day y’all….

Colonoscopy time!

Tickass post interrupted

Hello!

Well, not even torrential rains are slowing this heat wave, we just got drenched by a s*it lot of water. There was a huge puddle at my patio door and I am waiting for the new mattress I have to test and my insulin refill… come to think of it, the doctor hasn’t call me with the blood exams he had done on me; it must be really bad! I’m going to die, am I?  I will have to instruct my kids on what type of underwear I want to be buried in… Boxers of course, I like my boyzz to hang lose.  Don’t be sad, you got a couple of years of my blog to go through; I started writing in 2010 and some of you have started to read my 2011 posts to try and understand what makes Chuck ticks… I’m a very simple man who likes…..shiiittt! Thunderstorms ans lightning now?! Come on dude! The only thing missing is locust….better post before I lose electricity….

A domain folks….

And life goes on...

Hello!

Well got my bath, had my meals on wheels and now I’m about to play Animal Crossing… if my daughter lets go of the game!... She is meticulous and does everything to please everybody in the town… unlike her dad that creates swear words for the characters when they ask for a new greeting…. Needless to say my daughter gets upset because there are people swearing at her all the time…. They’re right some things are priceless….

This afternoon they are coming over to change my mattress so that I can test a new one prior to them changing my bed for a bigger one…Better be a good one…

Later folks! 

An extraordinary Tuesday

Hello!

I don’t know what happen on my blog but the post that I was trying to put was the wrong one and I corrected the issue until 3:30AM after my wife had temporarily solved the crisis and came down to sleep on the kitchen floor while I posted. This morning she took off to work, I am waiting for a bath and the leak remains to be fixed!

And for those that are wondering about my professionalism:  You try blogging at 3:something in the freaking morning, on a 1^st generation iTouch,  while making sure you write everything properly with your good eye because the one being affected with MS is too tire to give a hoot….I’m going back to rest, I’m tired…

Take care folks!

The sleepless blogger

Hello!


It is 2:30AM and I am up blogging my ass off because my lovely wife woke me up to inform me that the ceiling above her bed is leaking Again!! Well, it's not in the same room because she swapped rooms with my youngest, but apparently water follows her where ever she goes... Needless to say I am an innocent bystanders of the situation; I don't know why I had to be woken for this. 

Now here's the kicker, she went to complain to the upstairs neighbor and his place is dry as a whistle! So I take it a pipe has broken in between the apartments or...big one here folks....we have ghost! Well she does cause my conscious is cleared and I have MS and ghost are kind enough to leave handicaps alone....


Good morning!

Restaurants laws

Hello!

You know what grinds my nuts?? Quebec laws and regulations! Here we are the only place in Canada, and maybe on Earth, where a freaking restaurant like Chilis doesn’t exists!! We got all sort of silly laws that prohibits food culture to invade our Province. It took Taco Bell eons to finally brake the market and I don’t know how they did it because we had a beef with their beef… We don’t even aloud ice cream carts during the summer season because they are an eyesore!!! And I’ve been dying for some truck food like in NY’s Eat St. but they don’t allow that either…. L… even my country has Chilis now… double LL….

Tomorrow folks, my hands are done… 

Solo flight

Hello!

Well,  my girls are at a pool get together, my wife is working and my dog went upstairs… a forever alone moment… Sumer, what can you do about it?.... It is hot out there and once again the weathermen advices for people like me not to venture out there; so… inside it is. My chair just cracked, I hope it doesn’t brake; everything is falling apart here. I’m afraid my A/C, God forbids, is announcing its death soon; hang in there buddy…. I pray that it still tolerates this summer and next year I will retire old yeller… I had my unit since I’ve been here, about 4 ½ years and it’s not me that wants a fancier A/C unit, the thing smells like rubber burning when working… I hope everything is emanating from my head, and I pray it is, but when I stop the unit the smell stops My family, obviously, don’t smell the odour and claim that I’m losing it; but I think that they’re after my millions….

Later folks!

Making money

Hello!

Yeah sue me! So what if I’m late?! I got a perfect excuse(s);  I was getting a bath, I was watching the Glades, I was having lunch and I was playing Animal Crossing (City Folks) fishing my ass off making money! In the game I am a millionaire who has bought the biggest house and has so much money I have provided my daughters with mansions too… Everything I want in this life, I got it there!! Even my house is the best looking house in the city!! I know this because the ABD academy says so (I think is ABD); I am powerful there… I want to be there, I need a life…. But in all honesty it’s the only console video game I can still play L… I would love to play Halo but I can’t, so Animal Crossing it is….

So as you can see I was working on making my fortune grow…. Hope you guys are having fun in life too….

Take care folks!

She's licking my feet

Hello!

So brunch is over and now I’m posting to promote digestion and assure you that my theory about hitting the jackpot didn’t materialized….. So in theory my blood tests should be a-okay, right? I’m pretty sure that the doctor is going to call and tell me I got 2 months to live… so broke and dying… so much for my dreams on how great I am and how greatness will fall upon me and…and…and… IT’S FREAKING HOT OUT THERE!!! We are at +37c and I will spend my day inside all freaking day!!n With A/C?  NO!! my freaking wife and kids keep on turning it off because it’s “too cold”! uck them itches!!! I am melting here, remember I’m the snowman??! TURN IT ON FOR PETE’S SAKES!! …. What a day people, what a day…

Take care folks!!

PS Yeah, the title is misleading but my daughter is yelling that as Olivia licks her feet... cool title for a song...

Brunching bacon

Hello!

I smell bacooooon…….. I love late brunches when there is no other option but to do eggs and bacon. We ran out of cheese and grilled cheese tortillas with avocados is out of the question; so before I start my breakfast devouring feast, I wanted to blog my head off and let you now that……today…is ….BACON!...

See you later after brunch (-Br-eakfast…L-unch-)

Take a collective sigh of relief

Hello!

Saturday….!!!... Hot out there, planning to do F all today!!...sorry, Independence Day break!!!....(12:21PM)

(2:25PM) Sorry, I was hoping ET was not going to win so I was rooting for the humans once again. And now my immortality has been assured, according to my daughter, who saw the movie with me,  it has become her favourite movie of all time, When she has kids, she will show the movie to them, and so on, and so on and freaking so on, until someone will ask why they see the movie; someone will tell the story on how it was grandpa Chuck’s favourite movie and how he had died defending earth from the aliens…. I’m emotional now….

Happy Saturday!

Somebody cares

Hello!

...Here I am with the sensation that what I wrote earlier on is not farfetched! I got a call from my wife telling me that the CLSC had called her because they were worry about me… (?!!)… That I eat right, that I slept good, that everything was honky dory with me. They even wanted to make sure that I had an A/C unit and that I didn’t go out in this heat…. My wife told them that I was okay and then the lady asked her if she lived with me…. She told her yes and told her that she was my wife… .. The lady was surprised because she thought that she was no longer with me….  Maybe next life time lady…..

Take care folks!

Destiny sucks

Hello!

Not… I’m not a happy кемпер!,,, I don’t feel so hot after having added 1+1 and found out that death was the result! It has been scientifically proven that people that happen to inherit or win vast amounts of money usually die within months of their good fortune!... Well today my nurse man came over to cure my wound and to administer a “surprise” blood exam. I asked the guy why I was having another exam seeing that this year I already had one.  The guy was evasive with his “you know doctors” routine and he left me with a bad after taste… but that’s not all!! How it works is the nurse sips my blood out and then a courier comes at around this time to pick up the blood; well this morning the nurse rushed off with my blood to the test facilities! So I’m 100% sure that tonight I will win the $43million dollars and by next Tuesday the doctor will tell me the bad news about me having a rare illness called bigocokulidis; a very rare disease that affect 1 in a zillion persons and death is eminent within 2 to 3 months …..Well I have given strict orders that if this happens I want to be buried in a 10ft grave filled with 5ft of concrete, 3ft of dirt, 1ft of barb wire and the remainder concrete again….with all the money in my casket… I WILL…take it with me!!

Take care folks!

PS Where do I get all this shit?!....

1840 is a good number

Hello!

Well I got back from my outing, getting my license for my dog, getting some Coffee Mate for my evening coffee, posting my mail and getting my lotto tickets for Saturdays draw… I’m on it, I’m going to win it…. Fuck the masses, no offense to anybody but it’s my turn to be happy. The last $50miilions was won by a single mother of 4 (won’t be single for long), I got a sob story too; I got the beginings of dementia! I’m right there, one step away from, the cuckoo farm, knock knock knocking on senile’s door!... we’ll see them results on Saturday…

Today I get to eat KFC!! Yeah! I’ve been dying to have some and today I put my foot down and told the wife to get me some for supper…. It’s going to be awesome!!

I bid you a hasty adieu to you all, my back cushion is destroying my back lately and the CMR will take action only in late August. Everybody is vacationing except me, I’ll be around here waiting for you…

Take care folks!

PS Waiting for my cousin tonight….

The dreamless guy

Hello!

Heeeey….you’re still not upset about the masses post and me being so “Nec plus..” shit are you? If it makes you feel better, I got all the numbers for the lottery last night…yeah… in different combinations; so I’m still here, I didn’t win anything. I still luv ya! I will be here today: dreamless, shirtless, gasless, broken!... my BBQ is sick!! I won’t be able to grill a thing, my bath guy leaves for a break, my dog is licenseless, I feel like the Universe is out to get me….  But I will still post for your entertainment, even if it will be hot out there…

Well there is a plus side to my life, yesterday Olivia had an xray in her back to see if the fracture she had gotten when getting hit by a car had disappeared; it has! Now she can stop moping around and run her ass off in the dog park. She was on the dumps because of inactivity but now she can go nuts again….

That’s it for me now!... got to wait for my bath guy…

I am the masses

Hello!

So, I have been brought up to think that I’m special, to think that I am, was, the “nec plus ultra” of the crowd; that nobody was good enough for me (ask my wife, she had a hard time at the beginning). Well last week, for the lotto frenzy of $100million, I saw reports of people showing off their lotto tickets; and it wasn't   just the 2,5,10 dollars that I spend on lotteries, but the hundreds of dollars that they spent in the hopes that they were going to win it. Well old Chuck here saw that and laughed, ridiculing the masses on their display of craziness. Silly! It’s the word I used. “They don’t know what they are doing”… I said to myself. In my head, they didn’t know that I had studied the numbers and I had come up with the winning combination that was going to make me win… My numbers are infallible, poor crowd has no chance!! Well here I am one week later in my 5 ½ analyzing what went wrong and taking notes so that the next batch of numbers that come out of my head are the right ones… I’m sorry masses, I will not make fun of you anymore…

Take care folks!

PS I RAN OUT OF GAS FOR THE BBQ!!! ARGH!!!......

Zombie chicken bbq

Hello!

I'm not a zombie!

It’s been set, later on we’ll bbq some chicken breast, have some salad, perhaps pasta… and we’ll call it the day! It’s Wednesday, my nurse comes back tomorrow, my bath guy leaves for a quick vacay and what is wrong with the young folks these days that really are into zombies?! Yeah!...

My oldest is into “we’re not prepare for the zombie apocalypse” and my youngest gets offended if I tell her that her get ups makes me think she’s a zombie! Ever since they have been in vacation she hangs around in her PJ’S all day long. Today I call her to the kitchen to reveal my master plan for the day and I noticed that it was 1PM and she was still in her jammies;  I told her to go and changed her clothes because she looked like a zombie! She looked bizarrely at me and yelled, yes yelled, at me that she didn’t look like one!!  Okay….I think the “Z” word is a forbidden word in my home and that maybe I shouldn’t care about the bits of body parts I find in the kitchen…. After all, how bad can Mexican zombies be?....

Take care folks!

MIA MS Dude

Hello!

I know, “wtf?!”, right? Well, not my fault, It was the call of the wild! I was out there all day long doing summer stuff… Watching the sky and day dreaming my ass off…. I also had the grills on my BBQ cleaned; it is embarrassing how much smoke gets created when I BBQ and how the other people when they cook outside have no smoke what so ever!!  I must have missed something at BBQ School…. I know, “burn the foods away that are stuck to the grill after bbqing…”, I do that and it still doesn’t work!! ..Well washing the grills didn’t help either, there was so much smoke it’s not even funny…Mind you, I was roasting pork chops that had been marinated with a caramelized bbq sauce… so I take it the sugar is to blame… I wonder what I’ll cook today since it is a gorgeous day again and I must take advantage of it since next days will be hot and humid… a “NO NO” for us mortal MS guys…

Take care folks!

Hulk and the BBQ

Hello!

Good Tuesday folks…

Start of a grand new day planning a bbq for later and perhaps a special desert like a baked Alaska or something….

So summer is off to a bright start for some of us. My Thursday bath guy found someone and the girl that is replacing my Tuesday bath guy has finally found someone too! This girl use to be with me a while back and she dropped out of the picture for no apparent reason.  I still say it was the animal magnetism that existed between us, she couldn’t handle it… thank God, this lady looks like she could have her ways with me if she wanted to…I don’t know what she’s waiting for….er… I mean she’s built like a hulk, with the exception that she’s a tad short; but when I’m lying in bed and she asks me to turn right… I TURN RIGHT!... well I’m happy to report she found an African BF… I would hate to see how this guy looks, she’s into body building dudes since she’s a bodybuilder herself; so the guy must be bulgy….  Maybe next time she will ask me to beg for mercy, I can’t wait!!!

Take cares folks!! Cleanning the bbq….

A second in time

Hello!

First of all…..Creationist go to a God blog or something, we are going to talk concepts not suitable for you…. This warning is also intended for my nephew and my daughter's friends..

I was thinking, yes I do that sometimes, and I was baffle by the realization that my folks are going to be celebrating 50 Years of marriage!...Each in their own little world; my mom in her corner and my father in Hell (a suburb of Ottawa, Ontario). Yeah, and my brother turned 48 today!! Wow, they have come a long way, right?...Not by a long shot!! People, this weekend I reflected on this thing called Time and we are “…dust in the wind…”…Shit! The Universe is 13.7 billion years old…THAT’S BILLIONS, with a capital B! And Earth is 4.5 billion….the oldest rocks discovered are 3.x billions of years…and I have a new perspective on life…When you think that our oldest monuments are thousands of years old, kinda wants to make you laugh.. And JC?! Well he was born 2k years ago, only…. So that saying ".time is afraid of the Pyramids" is a hoax!… I learn this weekend that time waits for no one. Here we are with our bickering over religion, territory, who’s wrong who’s right, what sex do you like , drugs….who cares?!! Humans have a due date!! Fack saving the world! In 3.5 billion years the Sun is going to engulf us and no one will know we existed…. We have 2 options: Status Quo or let’s get the hell out of here because if we don’t we’re going to die toasted….

I know, live for the moment right? Yeah I think so too… I think that next time a creditor calls my house I’m going to explain to them the theory of “I don’t give a hoot because we are all going to die, but thanks for the money anyways...” and maybe they will leave me alone…. But I’m pretty sure that American Express has an office in the afterlife…

Take care folks and a happy bday to my brother….oh yeah, don’t suicide; time will take care of you.

PS Am I happy or what?!...no I'm OK, it's just that we waste our time doing things that really don't matter when the end game is nothingness.... I mean does it matter if I'm the richest guy in the world?! I'm going to die and generations from now I won't be remembered.....unless I destroy the planet, wait... then there won't be anybody there...  All I am saying is enjoy life, be happy, don't waste time as it is very precious and.... when the fuck did this become a philosophical post?!....I'm sure tomorrow there will be a shitload of suicides because of this post and I will be blame for it...No, please don't!  Be happy with whatever life has given you...Love thy neighbor, unless they parked in your parking spot and...Ah to hell with this! I'm going to see TV..

PS PS If there's any creationists reading here: I know God will strike me down and you will be laughing your ass off telling me "I told you so" when the rapture happens....not very nice, but you will still do it... Fuck all of this to say I saw some good shows this weekend regarding astronomy and we are but a second in time....

PS PS PS Before I forget, a big "Danke" to little J's dad (the J man, formerly known as electromagnetic guru guy...my hands are shot here...) for the Coors iced T... I still got my stash and now I have his...I'm going to be soooo wasted when the rapture comes.... I think that even if you're a Jew He will take you with him...no, not your wife... she's Mexican...

PS PS PS PS Luv ya!......Once again, no not you...

A little thing called rain

Hello!

He's nuts!(During my week off)

Well this happened to me while BBQing with my girls!! We had beautiful weather and it was screaming for grilling, so I obliged; burgers and sweet corn was going to be the menu! But what men wants is not what nature desires…and that day nature wanted a 10 minute downpour while we were cooking the corn… my daughters were pissed off that we were doing a bbq in such terrible weather!  Just look at the face of my girl saying “MS my ass! He’s beeping nuts!”… I was having fun! I haven’t been in the rain for the longest time!! I got wet, we bbqed, rain went away and we had good corn, good burgers… It was one off from my bucket list …bbqing in the rain…. Snow here I come!

Tke care folks!

The Judas story

Hello!

Good day you all…

Can’t get enough of that Suga crisp…

1^st day back (officialy)  and here I am writing something that occurred to me many eons ago but I just realized the deepness of the situation… I was Judas!!! Holy salsa Toñito (sorry Ford)!! My daughter just made me realized that in a theater play I was in, when I was 6 or 7 years old, Jesus Christ  (the guy playing JC –which I think was  my brother-) washed the feet of the apostles; and who was the last apostle of the group? ME!! Usually the last apostle is considered to be Judas Iscariot, the betrayer!

Sorry, for those who are not familiar with the catholic religion or with religion in general; Jesus had 12 guys and a babe who followed him around….sounds like an orgy to me, but back to my story…. The guy who sold him to the romans to be crucified was one of his 12 guys and his name was Judas Iscariot….ME!!!

No wonder my life has been a schmorgasboard of continuous failures left and right, up and down… The Judas effect…I wonder what else is going to come my way as payback for something I didn’t do but portrayed the person who did?....

Happy to be back people!

PS BTW, Judas sold JC for 30 silver shackles and the guy suicide after because of a guilt trip... Great, just freaking great!....

Monumental Sunday

Hello!

Good Sunday people…

Beautiful day, my girls are at a new water park with little J’s mom and J man (electromagnetic guy is too long and my hands are shot), my older brother will have a BBQ cookout with my other brothers and I am at home with my finger you know where (the keyboard gutter brain)…. The stupid bus company has changed the rules and now I have to give them a 5 days heads up AND (it’s a big one) I have to transfer over in Montreal, they don’t do direct service to my brother’s house anymore.. L… Then I call this taxi company that provides adaptive services for people like me but they don’t work on Sunday… I am stuck!!!

Take care folks, I’ll find what no good I can do today and do it…

Brothers in arms

Hello!

Good day folks….

Well it was one for the battle records of our times. It was us against them and we won; we won!! Well not we as in all of us but someone in Quebec is $50 million dollars richer and it isn’t me. But Quebec was battling Canada for the money an apparently there was 1 winner and the ticket was sold in Quebec… but once again, it wasn’t me!! I guess the Universe has something else planned for me, like dying in poverty; that’s good too…

Glad to be back folks!!