Forgetting May

Hello!

That…was close!! I was given the task to add water to the slow cooker at around this time.. well I took it one better and I was going to put salt, proactive you know… Well a little voice inside my head said to me “better check first Chuck”… well thank God for intuitions; apparently the dish cooking has been salted already!! Ouff, that was close!! I am happy I checked first, I won’t have to gobble down anything too salty….I can confirm that at 1:31PM, no salt or water has been added to the dish…if it seems to be too salty, it’s not me!!

Currently working on my numbers right now, nobody has won the lotteries and their jackpot is above $20 million dollars. … Man!! Wouldn’t it be fun if I gave my friends the finger and rode into the sunset?? Oh wait! I have to get some fiends first…bah! 60 millions would do the trick!

Happy end of may people!! Half a freaking year gone…

Musical interlude

Hello!

“Aquí estoy, entre el amor y el olvido…something…something..something…”

I love listenning to music, especially if that music reminds you of faces and places that once were part of you. Also, seeing that I am an allophone, meaning I speak several languages, my playlist is in English, French, Spanish and I got some Italian music to boot! I love listening to my one and only playlist that is filled with music for the soul…Yeah, my wife and kids don’t share my taste, they claim I’m stuck in the past…What do they know..

I just finish having my bath and my guy informed me that the lady that came over this week will be replacing my regular girl since she is now on maternity leave… So hopefully I will get shaven more often!  

Happy trails, back to my music and to turn off the A/C it’s freaking cold here!

Parcel day

Hello!

Good Thursday people…

It’s the last sunny day of the week, we’re expecting 4 days of rain, meaning I am going to be indoors all this time....Yay!!!

The nurse came already and as usual. I’m pretty healthy  for a sick guy..wait…Stupid cow!! No, not you; my neighnour!!...ah double fuck it!! I hate MS!! I am frustrated now!! We are waiting for a parcel from the US and according to the post office, my friends, it’s supposed to come today. So as I am writing the bell rings, I inmediatly go and check the patio door to intercept whomever is there….well There’s no one except my next door neighbour who in the pass has rang my door bell so we can buzz her in… thus the stupid cow coment… but as I sit down to start writing again, out of the corner of my eye I see the mailman!! F_U!! That’s my parcel!!! I quickly rush to the patio door but the guy is practicing for the Olympics because he’s flying!! Shit shit shit!! So I tried to call my wife and does she answer?? N F_ing way!! So now there’s a parcel somewhere in Brossard that belongs to us….You know what?? I shouldn’t give a Fck about it, I got paid for it…let them find it…

Good day folks!

Thinking out loud

Hello!

Last post of the day, nothing happened and when you read this I will probably be outside soaking the sun’s rays! As of tomorrow we will be in a wet trend that’s going to bring us into next week. I was seeing recipes that we could pull off with my wife and I think we’re going to be trying our hands at risotto…. I will keep it secret as to what type of risotto it is, we don’t want others, little J’s mom, to steal the idea… It’s going to be awesome….. Also, my oldest asked me for an iron gizmo for her hair last night… actually her mother asked for it through her for the product.. well today is payback time bitches… I can get the product, with freaking Air miles!! My wife, although dumb looking, is up to date on the number of miles we have collected over the year so she can use some to go to the zoo during summer, well I just found out that she can use some to get an electric iron gizmo for the hair… so when they come back from ther school/work thing, I will let them know about it and see how that sits with them!....

Okay, taken too much time from your life…

Have a good one folks!

Things that make you go hmm

Hello!

What did I tell ya? The Universe always spices up your life one way or another….

I wish I could really say that but my phone hasn’t even ringed!! It’s been a very, very, very slow day! Olivia hasn’t move from her upstairs bed…she’s napping her eyes out! Me?! I had my bath, the bath lady said that my bed sheets looked like they needed to be changed…soooo she changed them!!... A slap in the face to my wife if you ask me!!! She broke so many sisterhood rules is not even funny! First rule broken?! She snooped around another woman’s domain without her consentment! Second? She placed new bed sheets on another woman’s man bed… and she did do an awesome job…my bed is so perfect right now, I just want to go and lied on it; it’s inviting! Rule number three??... pfff, she took out the garbage! How freaking perfect is that?! Let’s not go to the brooming rules and the washing the old bedsheet…. This is the terminator T800 of care givers…..

I know what my wife is going to say: “Well if she’s so perfect, marry her!”… She’s a newbie!!! She has to do the extra effort so she can still get jobs… She has to be the Martha Stewart of whatever her job title is when she walks into a house… Let me enjoy the pampering while it lasts!!! I swear there’s no kissing, no hugging,  there’s no emotional attachment to her what so ever… you still number 1!.. Althought I like it when she kisses my hand goodbye….

Take care folks!

PS You know I’ll be in the dog house for a while….

A normal day..so far

Hello!

Wednesday people……

So week is halfway done and plans for the weekend are building up!!.....F_ALL for me, apparently it will rain all freaking weekend. Have you ever rode a wheelchair in the rain?? It’s like everything gets multiplied by 2;  I would get twice as wet if I decided to go singing in the rain. Today is shaping out to be a half descent/slow day for me… Really nothing plan, but you never know what the Universe has in store for you, so I’m keeping my eyes peel… I already turned on the A/C because I don’t want to suffer the sudden weakness of my hands thanks to humidity; I know I will have to turn it off while I get my bath but it’s a small price to pay to feel fresh.

That’s how my morning is going so far…

Take care folks!

Humid day

Hello!

Reports from the front informed me that it is ridiculously humid outside. I went to check the weather for my rincon and we are at 23c but with the humidity factor we are looking at 31c… so it is humid outside! If I was to venture out there I would be toasted in seconds, thank God for A/C and electricity…oh  and this afternoon they are announcing severe thunderstorms with all freaking hell breaking lose…oh dear..

My gang is almost all here, I got my dog, my electric conductive daughter and my wife; all is missing is my oldest girl…Another night of watching the tube tonight, we are now big fans of “American Next Ninja Warrior”, I think I could have done that but thanks to my MS we’ll never know…Ummm?.................my hands are having problems typing, I’ll blame MS for that and call it the day!

Take care!

Life's little pleasures

Hello!

Well here comes another story from my MS files…

I don’t know about the other cripples but I love when you get a newbie to services you…. We can ask for anything and get away with it….oh yeah! Today was no exception. When the lady asked me if it was “okay”, I told her that she needed to bend down and rub me up and down…oh, and call me daddy…. Best 30 seconds foot rub I ever got!! No but seriously, we ask for anything! I was supposed to have a partial bath: arm pits and private parts, that’s it no more! Well, she saw my face and asked if I would mind if she shaved me. I told her that this is something that is not part of partial bath; she agreed but she didn’t mind doing it. SCORE!!! Yes she shaved me… no torture Thursday for me!! But that’s not all… “Can I trim your beard?”….. I LOVE YOU!!! No more hell’s Angels look, she trimmed that goatee of mine to perfection, my Thursday bath guy doesn’t have to pass the shaving thingamajig this week….I feel fresh, I feel good…. To bad I only have her tomorrow and then she’s out of my life…sigh…

It’s amazing the things that make me "bandé" as we say here in Quebec…

Take care folks!!

PS Now I have to explain how was she, was she cute, I probably want to sleep with her, did I get her phone number...the usual questions a disable guy gets when a newbie comes to town..

PS PS Bandé literary means to get an erection….now I’m blushing…

A tour of my life

Hello!

Good Tuesday to you all…

Well I got awoken at 6:02AM this morning by a loud thunder!! We had a lightning/thunder show and it was loud! It lasted for a good twenty minutes. It was so bad that my wife’s customer decided to cancel her day today and one of my electrical conductive daughters wasn’t feeling safe to go to school; what was I going to do? So one stay, the other one tried to ride the same train but concluded that maybe her presentation was going to count for some points in her school grades; smart girl! It was terrible weather, really, the type of weather that electromagnetic guru guy cherishes and is awed by… I can see him saying “electricity…” over and over again as he watches lightning flare up te skies. If someone is going to set fire to his house by provoking a short somewhere, it will be him…This will be my statement to the authorities if they ever ask me about his mental state…

I know, you guys are probably thinking “bi-polar city!! Here we are expecting him to be in blog heaven by now...”. I admit, my last post of the day was a a somber one and I often jump the gun.. Well, late yesterday my occupational therapist called me and reassured me that everything had been worked out and now it was really in the hands of the government to give the green light so that the work could begin. So for those that thought that I was ready to give up, don’t worry; I’m still here….

That’s my morning!

Grumpy old fart head

Hello!

Last Monday of May, feel time is flying fast and I am not going anywhere with these modifications that never happen. I have left messages to my occupational therapist regarding the new quote that the government wants and she hasn’t called me back…Somebody tell me something!!!  Obviously you have to be in the shoes of somebody to see what they are going through! I’ve been stuck inside this place for 3 years plus the 2 other ones I spent when I was at the other place; it’s like so close and yet so far! Argh!! I feel useless, my brain still works…sort of…and I feel I could do more but I can’t!! Did you know that everyday I visit the MS Society of Canada just to see if there's something new, a cure perhaps or a stupid treatment that would make me feel the touch of my daughters?? You wanna know how I feel? The below text is part of my reflections on this stupid illness….

I cannot move, but my mind is running.

I cannot talk, but my soul is screaming.

I cannot feel, yet my heart is broken…

This is what MS is to me, this is what I think day in, day out!! Is not only physical but it’s a mental thing that I must endure everyday, if it wasn’t for sleep I would probably go nuts…. Any hoots, I know this is my life and even though I didn’t ask for it to be this way I have to live it, endure it…

Take care folks!!

Grass cutting guys

Hello!

Hey 10:49AM and I am already bathe….I know you guys are reading this around noon so all of you are going “So what?! It’s noon for us!!”…and…wait a sec!?....Shit!! I think they are mowing the lawn right outside my window!! They never mowed the lawn outside my window!? They have to put the machinery on top of the grass thingamajig…it’s about 4 feet high!! This is the reason why the owner of the building wants to destroy all the grass around the building! It will be one less city law she will have to content with; apparently there’s a law that forces you to maintain a well groomed grass… Well no grass, no need to pay someone to maintain it…

They’re announcing crappy weather for the next following days, rain, lightning type of shit…well I really have nothing to do outside anyways, I am all BBQless. I have done that, cook that, drank that, I’m ready for Fall now. Oh, my modifications process seems to be advancing little by little. They asked one of the companies that bid for the project to submit a different quote…according to my occupational therapist, this is the goal line… I just hope that they don’t come up with something new like standing on your head or something…sorry, just that it puts me in a foul mood each time I think about it…

Take casre folks!

IMAX my ass!

Hello!

Buenos nachos folks….

Life was hectic today around the house… the people were late for everything! Leave it to their mom that believes that with 15 minutes on the clock they can still take showers, have breakfast and be at the corner in time for the school bus….don’t ask me how but she managed it….

IMAX weekend, it was different, clear picture, great sound, amazing, simply jaw dropping… Neck hurting, deaf making experience! Let me elaborate... For the normal mortal on 2 legs, they can always go to the middle of the chair case and enjoy the movie at eye level….Us WCBP (wheelchair bound people)? NO FREAKING WAY!! I had to watch the movie from the floor of the theater, always looking up at the image; results? At the end of the show, I was bitching left and right about my neck, my daughters were thrilled and my wife was asking questions on what had happened during the movie because she fell asleep! We are getting old folks, I think that soon I will be thrilled just by watching a game of lawn bowling and drinking tea….But for the record, I looked good in them glasses…almost as good as the aliens…

Take care folks!

BB says bu-bye

Hellooo!

Hi my name is BB and I am the sexy cute babe that Mr. Guzm…hey!?!....stop that!...

....

Sorry folks, I forgot to tell BB that I didn’t need her services….kinda like I didn't win the lottery…

To BB: Yeah yeah suga, I’ll see you in court! Wear something skimpy….

Okay, so I am here today wondering WTF happened! I was 100% sure that this was my weekend, well…maybe next time I won’t blubber about it. My plans for the movie Saturday also were affected… You know how I say that with MS plans could go better or they could go worst?? Well it happened yesterday and they went BETTER!!!! I saw MIB III not in regular mode, not in 3D mode but in flat in your face IMAX in…wait for it…3freakinD!!! I was there with agent “K” saving the world, my wife was almost eaten alived by cucarachas…IMAX RULES!!! Weapons firing, lasers zapping and at the end....crap all over the place... I couldn't help it, that rocket taking off was like an Ex-lax box to me... needless to say I am not going back to that movie theater unless I have a change of diapers with me... 

Take care folks!

PS The buffet was good also...

Weekend warrior

Hello!

Good Saturday folks…?!!!?...is it freezing here or you guys giving me the cold shoulder?

Aaaaahh…I see! You guys are upset about my sexist remarks of hiring a cute babe…okay… let me clear the air on that one there… Okay I hire a cute babe, what happens??

Guys: We are all so over her, drooling and all
Gays: One word...Best Frieeends!! Okay, two words

Lesbians: See guy’s reactions

Priest: Get confused by the terminology of “funny cute babes” and start following my blog

Kids: Reminds them of their mothers…and we guys are all so over them….

As you can see, I put some brain matter into deciding who would be good to replace me. Plus, if there’s going to be online stripping, I’m pretty sure that guys and gals would quickly learn their credit card number and wouldn’t hesitate to spend a few bucks at "Sexotherapy"…oh yeah, you like the new name for my blog?! Don’t even try it, I registered the name already…

Happy weekend folks!

PS Ah, The movie....I haven't left yet, but I'll tell ya all about it tomorrow. Happy weekend...

I'll be seeing you

Hello!

OMG!!! I WON!!! I’M RICH!!!...just practicing for tomorrow’s lottery results….making sure I got my “A” game on…I already called Mercedes Bens for prices on a van that I can adapt, I made an appointment to see houses next week… I’m there people…I hope I don’t have to cancel my plans…

So what are your plans for tomorrow??? That`s nice, blog about them and send me the link…as if I`ll read it...I have to make reservations for my bus, going to the Chinese buffet and The Avenger movies…those are my plans, but they can always change at the last minute…I’ll keep you posted…

In the meantime, remember you have a disabled millionaire e-friend now and as of Sunday I will pay someone to write my blog for me… I’ll get a cute funny babe and I’ll introduce web cam so you can chat with her and make her strip online and...and....where's my credit card???????

Take care folks!

PS Uuuummm...had a good lunch... Ciabatta bread sandwich with ham and cream cheese....WTF?! Don't go dissing my sandwich!? Try it first before you say something!...I think I need some anti-acids.....

I'm only human

Hello!

I have always used this space as a confident that does not judge me or my actions….un site pour me défouler quoi?…. A place to go nuts… a heaven for my mind…. Well today is no exeption, I have failed my wife and kids and I must now pay the consequences.. All I can say is that it will never happen again…I told her so that it was a mistake what we were doing and that I loved my wife and kids too much just to throw caution to the wind and star..I don't even want to go there… You know how I have claim that I had a couple of nights were I didn’t sleep at all this week? There’s a reason why! …  men are going to take my side on this but married women are going to despise me without even knowing me.. all I can say is that temptation is strong and I was weak, I failed the trust test…. We met in Facebook….

And she made me use my credit card so I could buy new cities in The Aviator game… I feel so weak, I am ashamed of myself.. all those promises I made at the altar out the window because I wanted Europe for myself…. Men are weak ladies and we will use our plastic money to buy instant gratification…but I now control Moscow, Madrid, Rome…..it’s a drug! I better cut my credit card in half before I go to America and conquer more cities..There I feel better talking about it. So my kids won’t have milk for a week…tsk tsk…it’s a minor price to pay for controlling Europe!

Thanks for listening folks and thank you Mastercard!

Humid Friday

Hello!

Happy Friday people….

It’s going to be a sunny day but humid….my people are already telling me that it is hot outside…so I will look outside from the comfort of my climate controlled bubble…..

Tomorrow will be a movie weekend for me…Yaaaay! The girls and I will go and see The Avengers; apparently it is a good movie.. Also it’s my mother’s birthday, which is actually today but she has always claimed and celebrated  the 26^th of May…..yeah my grandmother also celebrated her birthday on December 18 although she was born July 25^th… what’s wrong with these people?!... All my freaking family is on the loopy side!.... there’s nothing I can do but watch…

Take care folks!

PS I hate it when they'r arguing outside my door in a foreign language...No hablo whatever they're speaking!!!

Into weekend mood

Hello!

I am currently sipping a mango smoothie from McDs, not bad…but I wouldn’t make it a habit; mind you it’s easier to sip then their milkshakes…apparently is really hot out there…ARGH, brain freeze!! I know I said I was going to tackle the credit issue with Transunion but it’s been a working day for me, analyzing and perfecting my quantum lottery program and I have several numbers that I will play on Saturday and I will probably skip town Sunday and you will never hear from me….I’m kidding, I will never stop blogging, I like gossiping about my life or anyone else’s life….. Well that’s my day people, tomorrow they’re announcing a crappy day so I can dig deep into my soul and write something nice…

Take care people!

A common Thursday here on Earth

Hello!

Just had my bath and my meals on wheels, about to start trouble shooting my quantum lottery program and select my numbers for this weekend. It turns out that MS not only causes blindness but idioticity (should be a word) ranks right up there! My lottery gizmo had 3 numbers right again; that’s 30 bucks over the last couple of weeks….I will probably start re-thinking my strategy so I can save more than what I spend….

Hey, I feel guilty with my Thursday bath guy, his colleagues tell me everything about his life but he is (Thursday’s guy) rather quiet about his love stories. I know that he went out with a mental health person and that is going so-so according to him, but my Tuesday/Wednesday folks tell me other stories…. So I have to find a way to get him to speak the truth about his life….look at me, going out on a limb for my readers, that’s the excuse I will use if ever I get caught doing the nasty with my nurse…. Enquiry minds want to know dear, not my fault….

Take care folks…

Seeing double while I write

Hello!

Yawn….good something folks… I had another sleepless night making plans left and right. I’m still writing my blog today because I have not checked the lottery numbers and I got a positive comment on one of my post yesterday making write some more today…HINT…HINT people! So I am here until I check my number or until I fall asleep; I didn’t fell into Morpheus arms last night. The bitch forgot me and I was awake all freaking night long…AGAIN! It happened on Monday and it happened last night…..Nurse came by today and she told me to keep an eye on it, perhaps they’ll prescribe something for it….I hate sleeping pills, you wake up like a zombie the next day….

Well, you’ll have to support my incessant gibberish a little bit longer… I didn’t win the lottery, nobody won! I didn’t even hit 2 numbers!!! Marrying quantum mechanics and the lottery is harder then I expected…sigh… Oh well, maybe Saturday….

Take care folks!

PS not even the horses lottery won!! I suck….

My battles are endless

Hello!

Well my last post of the day; I’m freaking tire and want to rest to take up my new battle tomorrow: Transunion Canada! Yeah, I finally decided to check my credit score and I noticed that there are several credit cards that I don’t have and appear on my file!!  Where is that credit lock guy that Americans have?? Mind you, my credit isn’t the best out there so how in heavan names is there so many cards out there, I haven’t got a clue….but I got time to kill, so this is my latest battle….okay got to go and rest, I can’t even type properly…

Take care folks!

Frosty the freaking snowman

Hello!

Good something…

I told you I was going to be late….I had an appointment with my daughter’s therapists, apparently she worries about me because I represent a melting snow man in her drawings and her friends and her are trying to build a fridge so that she can put me there to stop me from melting….yeah…that’s who I am in her drawings according to the art therapist who are supervised by a psychiatrist …yeaaah, she could have chosen Superman, Hulk, Batman,  Puff the freaking magic dragon but she chose a melting snowman!....Really?? Well lets just say that the psychiatrist wasn’t impress by the work that the future therapists did and he took a more of a “let’s see how she’s doing next year” approach because the kid is normal… it’s her parents who are fucked up….A snowman, really?!...

Take cares folks!

Things a millionaire does while broke

Hello!

Well my numbers have been picked and analysed for optimum performance. Got my suitcase ready, my passport, my wheelchair battery charger, I am set. Now keep in mind that when I win the 15 million on Wednesday, the first thing you’ll noticed is that I will stop blogging, I’ll change phone number, take up a fake identity, make everything possible to disappear; become invisible. I am doing everything my brother says a new millionaire has to do to survive… no, he hasn’t won the lottery yet but like me we keep on planning just in case…we wouldn’t like to get caught with our pants down and have the Jehovahs knocking on our door asking for money…that’s not true, they don’t ask for money; animal activist do…well somebody does;  bet I have a gazillions sons and daughters out there that would like some moola from me…not happening, I’m a hard cord gay guy!

I forgot to tell you, tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment with my kid and my blogging will be erratic, post morning and perhaps at night; maybe I’ll take a picture of the guy’s office when he is not there; gives you an idea of that side of me…

So my numbers are picked, my candles have been lit, saints statues have been turned upside down…I AM READY!!!...so goodbye people, it was a good run…

A domani  folks!

Things happen

Hello!

Hey, got another 10 bucks in the lotteryyyyy! It’s already spent, again, you have to invest money to make money; and I am working on my freaking quantum lottery thingamajig to see why I am only hitting 3 numbers all the time… Dam statistics!...

I just got off the phone with my mother, I wanted to check on her to make sure her moral was ok, she’s sad but is relieved that my aunt passed away as it appears that she was suffering a lot. It wasn’t only a heart attack but she had several things going on at the same time that culminated with the heart attack that killed her.  As we say in Spanish QEPD…. RIP…BTW this is the mom of my cousin whose wife passed away from cancer at the age of 37 (maybe younger)….Somehow MS sounds pretty cool to me right now….

Later folks!

Rosa Aviles

1934-2012

Another week, another story

Hello!

Good Tues…!!!?...

WTF!? It was a day off yesterday and I was taking it easy; thus the reason I only posted once. Also, besides my BBQs and my social life, I paid my respect to the sister of my mother who passed away yesterday at the age of 78, what I heard is that she suffered a heart attack. So I was in radio silence after my post… But I’m baaaack!!

So last night I fell asleep until 5:00AM, I don’t know whar happened but I was wide awake all freaking night long; and this morning I was awoken by my wife telling me that I had a bath day today and I needed to eat breakfast. Man how I hate to be beautiful! Then while I was having my bath my bath lady tells me that there is a big possibility that she is going to have twins or perhaps triplets!! Her current hubby comes from a line of twins and she has triplets on her side; sooo that would make 6 or 7 kids…. She’s fighting the odds here…poor girl.

Take care people!

PS Shit! I have to change my FB status..

Burger town

Hello!

Good Monday folks…

Temperature outside

What a weekend! BBQ on Saturday, BBQ on Sunday, identical menus on both days, I think what made the difference was the Corona beers my sister-in-law brought to the get together on Sunday; that and the fact that it was humid yesterday and my MS got the better of me because I hanged outside too long and there was a second I was feed and I couldn’t move. But other than that it was a fun weekend….

Oh, and I had forgotten it was a long weekend! Canada celebrates Queen Victoria day while Quebeckers celebrate Patriot day’s….it’s, it’s a long story about some guys from ST-Eustache region standing up to English Canada crew…what counts is that the day is off for Canada in general. I know Americans will celebrate Columbus day next week (I think) even though it was the Vikings who came to America first…yeah they landed in Newfoundland 1000 years before the Columbus dude….once again what matters is that they will have the dday of…

Happy trails people!

PS I know you BBQ pros are probably dissing me for using such low heat, but the burgers were good!

Sunday under a scorching sun

Hello!

Sunday, people, Sunday….

What a glorious day has been bestow upon us and we are already up and at them for the preparations of our second BBQ…

-          “Get Ice cream , any type”

-           “.. But what flavor do I bring?”

-          “Whatever you want, any type, any price, any brand, anything…”

-          “I DON’T KNOW!”

…

This is what a BBQ director has to put up with all the time…sigh…It’s lonely at the top… Nevertheless, we are going to have a great day! Plus, I am having my A/C unit installed and just in the nick of time; they’re announcing +31c today!! It’s going to be helter skelter around here and I am going to be ready!! Hey, I wanted to say “Hi” to the French person from France that reads my blog…so tune out for a second here… Beau jour, plaisir de te voir par ici…. There I said something about me kissing her feet…it has to be a girl, I’m sure….

Take care folks!

Saturday morning blog

Hello!

Yes I am up and at them! Went to sleep at 4:00AM, but what do you want when you have to get a party off the ground!? Everything is ready and my youngest is off with my wife to start “La Ronde”’s season; she will eventually go there every weekend and enjoy the rides. Those are the best $50 dollars I spend, she really uses them up…

HEY! Somebody won the $50 million and it wasn’t me, pff the winning number isn’t even from this province! Some lucky person from Ontario got the freaking winning combination…..Well at least next drawing is a hefty $27 million dollar jackpot and I am waiting with open arms…

Happy Saturday!

The Universe and me

Hello!

I’m rich I’m rich, I’m fabulously wealthy!! Ok, not exactly but I hit 3 numbers in the lottery and that’s like a whole 10 bucks!! I haven’t gotten 10 bucks in a very long time, some of you might say “oh well he is using his new lottery gizmo he created…” NO! I wish it was that but this was a “quick draw” ticket. You know those tickets you get from your lotterymonger? The ones where you go “un 6/49 avec extra please.”. It was one of those!! Fcuk my thesis on quantum lottery! This was kismet at it’s best… I know, you statistic guys  are probably making fun of me but I have a hunch that the Universe is turning around…Sooner or later I'll have the girl, the house, the adapted Lamborghini, the other girl.... I’m a freaking decanaire!!

Take care and happy weekend folks!

PS I was a freaking decanaire, I spent it all again in lottery tickets and my quantum lottery projection...

My gratitude expressed

Hello!

Very rarely do we have a second chance in life and even more rarely do we get to say thank you to those people who helped us obtain that opportunity. I have been granted those privileges in my life; the first one was when my wife and I reunited eons ago and the second one was having the opportunity to show my gratitude towards the person who shook me and made me realize that my wife and I were meant to be together.

I know, “..Aaaa..What a romantic story, makes me wanna puke!”…Relax, I am not being romantic here, I’m just stating a fact about life!! Usually we always wonder about the one that got away, I don’t have to wonder! I got her! And if she’s here with me is because of that person that thanks to modern technology I was able to find and send him or her a quick message saying “Thanks”… Geez you guys can be such a_holes sometimes….

Take care and here’s hopping your dreams come through…I feel so Walt Diney today…

Weekend BBQ

Hello!

FRIDAY!!!

Well here I am with my little one who was feeling under the weather and now is playing Wii, kicking ass; she’s in a school project that could have her and her school mates go and sleep at the Big O (Olympic Stadium) because they exercise outdoor or do physical activities on their Wii…..Just Dance really sucks! BTW, she sucks!! I just kicked her ass in baseball….

Now for tomorrow, we’re going to go and buy the food to cook for my oldest BBQ….We’re going to buy the booze, buy the propane, an IKEA table and chairs….  We are going all the way!! Plus I need to buy the necessary to set up my A/C unit for this summer… It’s starting to be hot as of Sunday, man winter is on it’s way!!!

Take care folks!

Quantum lottery

Hello!

Well it’s probably muggy out there, how do I know? You know how some people can predict rain because their joints are flaring up? Well I can’t type for shit and I am extremely tired!..sorry I had to take a brake and now I have to tackle an idea for my lottery generator that I got while watching a quantum mechanics show on TV; hey! Don’t diss my program! Thanks to it I got $10 bucks on last draw of the numbers…quantum’s, it works!

Take care folks!

MS Dark Vader

Hello!

Thursday people!!! T-1 and counting…

Interrupted…!... Elevator music....

Now I’m back, nurse came here for a doctor’s visit…short and sweet! Now I can go on with my life for another week.

Well it is a frisky morning with a +7c only and the sun is shying away, just peeking through the cloud curtain here and there; but it’s supposed to get warmer, we’ll see. I don’t really care for the weather today, I’m broke so I don’t intend to go out; but as of tomorrow, we expect to be busy for the preparations of my daughter’s BBQ! We gonna buy some meat, sea food, hot dogs, booze, everything edible under the sun!!. It’s gonna be a ball y’all!

Somebody farted and it's not me!

On the MS front….

Well… got some good news and some bad news… Good news is my spirits are still high and I think I’m going border line crazy with theme song of Dark Vader playing in my head every time I roll near somebody…You know the song: “Ta Ta Ta Tatata, Tatata...”…yeah, I’m missing a cape now…

On the not so good news, left leg is completely numb and my right eye is a tad blurry…Vision wise I am fac right now! I can’t see but I can see type of scenario!? Yeah, I have an excuse for taping asses now…It’s good to be the king…

Take care folks!

The 577 call

Hello!

I wasn’t going to post anymore but I just had a called that made my day…maybe my week! I got a call from a CLID (caller ID) 577 something or other asking for the man of the house; ok, I got balls so I guess it's me. On the line was a technician from a laboratory were they had monitored my computer abd they had noticed that my system downloaded several files that if not removed, were going to destroyed my PC!...F_ME! Homeland security is really doing a good job here in Canada!!! I could hear in the background other people speaking on the phone, probably telling the same story to get some free cash….I had no time for him, as soon as I had an opportunity to say something, I told him that I had no computer…CLICK…no goodbyes, no thank you for your time, just a hang up to remember him by. This is almost as good as Miguel from Juarez who was coming to visit me and he got caught by the cops and needed money….Ay Miguel! Miguel....

People, I have no hearth!! I will not give money to anybody because they ae dying nor will I pay technicians to solve my problems…maybe try telling me you’re Megan Fox and you need a buck for coffee, perhaps then will I fall…

Take care folks!

Drip drip drip

Hello!

Well that was a small lightning displayed if I ever saw one, lasted about 5 minutes and now we’re getting another one!! If I get hit this will turn from wheelchair to electric chair and I would be carbonize…Oh joy!...people,  research research research! Got some info on my paternal mom and funny one of my nieces (besides the one that carries her name) got called with her name too!.. I still have to get her and her husband’s registration, in time; in time….

Take care folks! 

Bath day perverts

Hello!

Good hump day people…pretty sure people that don’t know what it means think that I’m a pervert…

Just finished my bath and I’m ready to go!

I think I will tackle my father’s family again and see what I can come up with, but the cousins are very tight lips about everything. It’s a freaking miracle that I have gotten some info on them. My mother provided me with an overkill of information which I have had to filter through to get the facts straight…We’ll see what I find…

So very boring beginning of day, right? No, not by a long shot… How often do you get a bath by someone and the topic of conversation is the elusive “G” spot?? I call it elusive because they were discussing the male “G” spot and there’s no way in hell that I’m having mine played with!! Do you know where the male “G” spot is?? WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE!!! That’s where!! I have nothing against men who want to play with that but this lesbianic man refuses to take part in such games…..Brrr, got goose bumps just thinking about it!....That’s the type of bath I had…

Take care folks!

Ass hurting post

Hello!

Did some research today for my family tree and I found F_all…I guess there are days like today where the day is somber, the sun don’t shine and all of the hooks I laid on the water didn’t materialized into something… I guess I’ll do a “take two” tomorrow….

My day was a very simple one today, had a bath, ate meals on wheels, did research on the web and voilà, day gone…ass hurting, neck hurting, MS sucks for the one billionth time!! Got to tilt back and rest my posterior…I will see you tomorrow…

Take care folks!!

Looking back for my future

Hello!

Good Tuesday folks….

Got my bath early today and I’m ready to rock! I think today I will concentrate my morning digging into my family’s genealogy background; it will be my father’s side. I mean I got everything that I needed to find out about my mother’s side of things… I got everything about my great-grandparents, my grandmother has been demystified and if I could get books that are dated from the 17^th century, and I could probably find my roots there too….

It’s funny how one discovery can help restart something that was sitting still in the waters. Thanks to the findings I got yesterday, I will look for different info on my dad’s side of his family. I wonder what secrets he is hiding……

Take care folks! 

Close shave my ass

Hello!

En of day people…

Have you ever seen a grown man cry? Well you should have been at my house to see me cry my ass off while that delinquent of bath lady shaved me….was she in the Special Forces?? Was she wrong by a man before and now likes to make other men pay for something they didn’t do? She really shaves to the skin… I think my facial hair will never grow again…..

Ass hurting, must hit bed now….

While I wait for a bath

Hello!

Interesting genealogy  finding this glorious day, all thanks to my mother who corrected my information regarding the death of my grandmother. I always thought that she had passed away in Guatemala, last place I saw her alive and she called me doctor because I was wearing a sport jacket….The humidity and heat were unbearable, but I looked goooood…Back to my story, it appears that my grandmother died in San Salvador, capital of my country. So off I went to look through records of the year she past away; and YES!... Found you…. I was happy, she died at 86 years old, cardiac arrest and she is not registered as Medrano, a name all the family carried with pride, but she was a Gonzalez; a name that a lot of persons belittled in her town…and this story is too long to tell but is a good one that maybe one day I’ll spilled…. But all this info was nice and dandy, but who provided it? Well, the answer is closer than what I thought! I have a cousin that reads my blog and she’s married with a guy who was a law student at the time…Well it was him!!! He was the person who went to city hall to provide all the info to the authorities… I’ll be darn… So this is what I did while sitting naked in front of my computer; very productive, no?

Take care folks!

Monday's tragic stories

Hello!

What a gorgeous day out there, hope you’re having a great day….

It was bound to happen, yesterday I went to the super market and bought some ready to BBQ burgers so we could make for supper….Aaaand…..we started cooking them and we ran out of gaz!!! I was destroyed inside, BBQing has become part of me…I think that since I have purchased that cooking apparatus I have had more BBQs than the normal person has in a Summer season….Now I have to purchase another gaz tank for this weekend because it’s going to be my daughter’s birthday cook out and I have to excel since my little brother claims he can cook better than my crew and I; I still say that them cupcakes he brought me Saturday morning were a fluke….

Last week as per the meeting agreement with the landlord, I sent an email to the inspector of the city regarding the modifications of my place; an “where the fuck are we?” email. He has not aswer back yet, I will let my occupational therapist know this so that she may contact him if need be, I don’t want my landlord to change her mind and I have to look for another place to live in…..That would be bad...!

Take care folks!

Sunday with myself again

Hello!

Hope all the mothers celebrating Mother’s day are having a good day…

Well it’s hot and humid out there, good excuse to stay inside and relax… I would probably melt..i guess I’ll never know…

My daughters made their mother French toasts this morning and we had croissants with that, then we saw a bit of TV and we went our separate ways to do our separate things…Now her and my eldest are at the shopping mall because my daughter’s bday is next week and she will get new clothes for that event. It will be a BBQ, so far the weather seems to be holding on, +22c and sunny. I will ask my brothers to pu on my            A/C that weekend because the season is about to start.

Take care folks!

Mother's day weekend

Hello!

What? +22c/sunny/gorgeous out there…Of course I am not going to blog! I was out there all day long! I went left and right and I even got French pastry because I remembered, always remember! So tonight I will have chocolatines with %100 butter croissants!! And for tomorrow’s mother day I will have the sam..dam memory!

Tomorrow I will go and buy some clothes as a mother’s day gift to my wife on behalf of my girls to their mom. They (my girls)  will be going to see my mother to give her our present we got her….And that is my weekend for you! I hope all of the mothers who are celebreated tomorrow have a great and wonderful day….

Take care folks!

Sailing down the river of life

Geritol Man

Hello!

Hell! +16c and sunny?? You bet your sweet ass that I am going to BBQ tonight!! I’m going to surprise my wife; she’s working late, and make some big old steak and fries. I’m going to ask my eldest to prepare the food, she’s good at making food; yesterday she made a killer pasta. It was good and I’m still around so it was edible…..Good old Mimon!

So my visit went well, she dropped me a couple of nice things, bless her heart, and we talked about life and how is everyone doing. I like her visits…

My BBQ for next week is taking shape and the prima donnas are starting to voice their requests. My brother, the soccer fanatic, claims that if I don’t get a sports channel to see his Champions league final, he is not coming. It promises to be an event, even the Jewish ex-boss of my oldest brother is going to show up… Is going to be awkward talking to him, I mean this is the guy who killed JC! Maybe i should poison him...Nah, he’s a cool decrepit old guy who overdoses on Geritol….We gonna have a ball y’all…

Take care folks!

The visit from my orgy parthner

Hello!

Good Friday folks…

It’s going to be a great Saturday and I will surely BBQ, plus the family of my wife is dropping by so we’ll have some kosher fun!

That's why I avoid orgies...

Today an old colleague from work is dropping by, a very nice lady. Her and the crazy Italian lady are the only ones that have kept up on how I am doing in life and I have often been the beneficiary of their material kindness. I know one of them is coming here today, don’t know if the oter one will, but each time we get together it’s like 50 Shades of Grey around here…oh yeah!

On another note, I have to stop playing the freaking lotteries! I have had a dry spell these days and I am putting out more than what I get in! It doesn’t matter that I work on formulas that will improve my winning, IT’S NOT WORKING!! So I have made it a point to only play one lottery and stop playing the rest. So “Adios “potential fortune and hello dose of reality! I will stop the money drainage of my pockets and… OK, maybe I’ll buy the stupid software to increase my winning chances….better yet, father day is fast approaching….yeah happy father’s day here I come….

Take care folks! 

Growing up pains...for me

Hello!

Well the 19^th of May is set as a try date for a BBQ to celebrate my oldest birthday… I hope her uncles can make it, I hope the weather permits it, I hope my daughter permits it!! She’s against everything we say lately:

-          “The sun is big”

-          “No it’s not”

-          “I got MS”

-          “No you don’t”

Something that has scientifically been proven, she will deny it! So this BBQ is going against her wishes because she doesn’t want it. And why she does not want it? Because…. Just because….Stupid little shit! Doesn’t she know I will have this BBQ with or without her consentment,  I will just call the BBQ birthday celebration something else: “Olivia’s birthday bash” or “Independence day BBQ”. It’s happening, I will just tell everyone that it is not to celebrate her birthday…

Take care folks!

Starting a car

Hello!

Good Thursday folks…

Nope I wasn’t ignoring you or anything, I had my bath and my meals on wheels but the problem I was dealing with just left the premises. You see, my bath guy did his work and even put a patch on my butt that I now must wear because of my butt blisters; everything was going good. When he was leaving we were joking around on how I had gotten another CLSC worker pregnant (my Tuesday bath person) and how word was getting around that if you wanted to get pregies, you should come and see Mr. Guzman; everything was cool! He left, I began to eat my food and as I was finishing my meal, he comes back in again! I asked him what was wrong and he told me that the car wasn’t working and he needed to solve the issue; according to him it was the starter. Well it was lunch time and nobody works during this sacred hour, so he had to wait!! My Tuesday guy came to see if he could help but no dice! So, about 15 minutes ago a real mechanic came by and started the car and they left…. This is why I am late, I was watching them work on the car….What do you want?! I’m a guy and we love to do this…

Take care!

Bleached tacos

Hello!

My o my, 2 post of the day; you guys are lucky!

The thing is that I solved my Excel problem after finding the right function to use…Thus I’m happy and I have time…but my hands are not working that well today…Dam MS!

Now on to my reflexion of the day…

I know I’m a bit OCDish but I think that certain things shouldn’t mingle. I ride into the kitchen and what do I see? Ketchup, chips, bread….BLEACH?!? What the hell?! Yesterday it was Windex and before that it was a box of Tide!!! Are they part of the ingredients of a Mexican recipe??? Is she killing me softly with this stuff (It goes with song)??? Woman, I got MS and my state of mind has never been a good one, so my illness has surely brought it down by a notch or two… Sooo what makes you not think that one day in a downward kinda mood I feel like taking bleach shots for fun?? Or that perhaps I feel like spaying some Windex on my guest’s tacos this Friday to see what happens (No worries Mrs. Woods)??? I’m sure I am not alone, perhaps EMGG (Electromagnetic Guru Guy) is going through it also; it’s in the genes….keep cool…

All I’m saying is X goes with X and Ys stick together….Umm?? I wonder if that’s a good example????...

Take care folks!

PS If you don’t here from me today, it’s my MS!

The sleeping cell

Hello!

Good day folks….

I know, I know, I was lazy yesterday and I’m really to blame here. Remember that project I was working on regarding the lottery? Well I ran into a logical glitch and I couldn’t figure out why the spreadsheet calculation weren’t working! I was thinking and thinking, then talking to myself, going to YouTube to get help….I was doing everything to answer the question “why isn’t it working!?”. Then when I was ready to give up, at 5:16PM to be exact, EU_F_ING_REKA!!! Problem solved!!! I was using the wrong f_ing cell!! I was using “A2” instead of “A4”…Argh!!! I wasted all my day trying to figure out why the result was always 0 and not 6!!!.... Obviously I was brain dead, at the end I called it the day… thus the reason I wasn’t here after my first post…

I just finished having my bath and I was surprized when I found out that my bath girl is pregnant!! I kinda had a feeling but was hesitant  to congratulate her because she might just be chubby and  then she accuses me of mistreating fat people….. Plus I thought that having 6 kids already would have put an end to her child bearing carreer….

Take care folks! 

Stories of a bath guy

Hello!

Good Tuesday folks…

Just had my bath done and we were shooting the shit my bath persons and me and….My bath guy and his house are going to be in a TV show! Something similar  like in the TLC channel… "Trading spaces” with he exception that the show is in French and who knows if it’s good or not. But that aside, my bath guy is getting his garage upholster for his mustang collection… Okay, he has 1 mustang but he is a car aficionado…He  loves cars and mustang is his favorite car…I can’t wait for fall now so I can see the show… And the guy’s wife got a date for my Thursday’s bath guy; you know the guy!... The one that nobody likes and how life has thrown lemons his way but hasn't provided the tools to make lemonade?! Well he has a date now with a girl who…drum roll….is in the.loony farm business! Yes, she deals with the mentally disable side of society…the criminally mentally disable folks! It’s bound to be a match made in heaven. Take note that I didn’t ask if she works there or if she resides there, I want to see the face of my Thursday bath guy when he goes out with  her…. What can I say? I have no life!

Take care!

A little thing called life

Hello!

Waiting for my girl to come and take me out…. I will enjoy the sun because tomorrow, rain!

Got numbers on my head…. I know, “wtf are you talking about?!”… well my latest thing is working the lottery statistics and perhaps win more often… I had an uncle who use to do that, the guy died pennyles…. But I’m sure he had fun. Plus nowadays I have different computer programs that allow me to draw charts, do pivot tables, analyse frequencies….shiiiit, everything but guess the right freaking number that’s going to win… So I’m betting on my mathematical skills… I sucked at it!...

I think I am going to fire up the grill today, got some left over corn that could be bbqed today but I don’t know with what. I have done all the meat groups, the only thing is missing is fish and my girls don’t touch anything that looks like a fish… they will eat fish sticks, but not ocean looking fish… and don’t get me started on cheese! Peperoni and cheese pizza is OK, but cheese for the sake of cheese? What are you mashugana?!??!

Take care folks!!

A gun to a fist fight

Hello!

Good something folks….

Had my bath, had my meeting and I feel like a first class heel! Here I was doubting my gracious landlord of wanting to take advantage of my grant to fix her building. What a douche bag; can you say  neurotic schizophrenic bastard? Yeah well, the landlord came in and all she wanted to know was when the work was being done because she has some work going on and she would like my outside to merge into her work….all in all the outcome was positive and we still have the same plan as before with the exception that she is working on her own thing and she would like my thing to incorporate hers….kinda like a bad porno movie… what am I saying! Porno movies are the same…..

With all this preparing for an imaginary war that never happened I forgot how beautiful it was out there! We got nothing but sun, warm temperatures (+16c) and girls in miniskirts all fighting for my attention!....OK, there is no girls with miniskirts and even if they were, they wouldn’t give me the time of day….but it’s nice outside people!

Take care folks!

Alone no more

Hello!

Just go off the patio with my brother after a successful BBQ of pork chops, burgers and corn….. Yummy! It was good, had 2 burgers with 1 pork chop and 1 corn….Oh, and I had about 5 Bud Light with lime taste…. It was an awesome way to finish the weekend…his kids were happy and so was I… no spending the weekend alone for me this time… He was also impressed by my BBQ and we are aiming for middle of May to celebrate my oldest with a family BBQ…. Aaaah….good times my friends, good times!

Take care folks!

Finally Summer!

Hello!

I was doing the hood thing all day long!... I was out there! Sunny skies, nice temperatures, sumer…sigh… And tomorrow?? Well, since I cannot go to little J’s, I am having a BBQ!!... Oh yeah, burgers, lime beer (it was on special) and I’ve been told there’s going to be something special…better not be lying!!! It’s going to be a nice day!!!!!!!!  So as soon as they leave, I’m hitting the streets!

That’s my Saturday!

The artist

Hello!

Art thing is over…had cookies and coffee and a session with the occupational therapist who did the art classe. My daughter got the award for creator spirit and she was happy with it….It was a cool session with other parents and kids…oh yeah, I ran over some chairs for diving too fast…

So that was my afternoon, hope you had a good one and I wish you all a fabulous weekend!

The thing

Hello!

Good day y’all….

Well it’s a rainy day out there and there’s nothing on the horizon…Except my daughter’s vernissage  with crayons that I have to attend at 2:20PM…the actual get together is at 3:45PM but special transportation always picks you up extra early so you can look like a moron while U wait!... Great!

I got an invite in FB from someone that says she/he/it knows me….WTF?!... I thought I had burned all links to my past!? Oh well if this thing wants to e-friend me, it must be a very cool thing… I call her it because she/he is a newbie and doesn’t have pictures uploade at all….

Take cae!