Season finale of Silver Star Picayune (SSP)

Hello!

Good day people…

Well it started! This is the time when my inspiration gets cut due to school absenteeism…. Yeah, school is MIA and my kids are hanging too much around here; seeing TV, throwing new words around to show me that they learned something during the school year… bitch please, I was spelunking babes when you was a toddler… So my post is like my season finale until they go back to school. I can only hope that when I return this fall the modifications to my place will have been completed and I will be able to step out into the world on my own… plus I will also have stories of my summer camp expedition, unless I get eaten by a bear or something… all this having been said, I wish you all a fantastic summer fill with fun… So check the pictures of how my place is right now and I will post the new photos of the changes when they are done…

Happy summer e-friends….

PS The landlord approved of the changes to my place, so it’s a go folks…. Bye bye patio door..

Patio door now

Rail now

Entrance walls now

Addicted to farming

Hello!

Citizens of the world, hello and enough already!

Here I am a normal handicap guy, and like most normal handicap guys in the world, Farmingville my lot of land so that it can become one of the best in the future… However with every e-animal I feed, with every e-tree I crop, I can see that my farm is not looking like it should be. You see, I believe that the state of your farm represents the state of your mind: e.g. a cleaned and kept farm is a clean and kept mind… Well, all I can say is don’t judge me by coming to my farm and snooping around… it’s a mess people… my brain is  there, the farm does not represent the state of my mind… is like the 4^th grade all over again when my hygiene was a very questionable question (like that hey?! ”questionable question”… where do I come up with shit like that!?).. Let’s just say that talcum powder doesn't really mask all odors out there. And while on that note, and before I leave this world, I like to formally apologize to all those noses I offended…. My bad, I should have showered more frequently….

Take care folks…

Lose of faith

Hello!

Happy week folks…

So just finished getting a bath and I’m in a bit of a somber mood…

You see, my bath guy is an animal lover, more precise a dog lover, like me. He loves his dog so much that he had her tattooed on his chest; plus the dog’s name is Olive and ours in named Olivia… we got something in common… And today he was telling me about the new Ipad he got for his birthday and how he reads the complementary newspaper subscription he got everyday… he loves his toy… except that yesterday he read an article that made him lose faith in the human race; this article was related to animal cruelty done by, of all people, a school teacher! This dweeb of a person then proceeded to tell her students what she had done! Obviously a kid from her class brought it up to his parents who then complain to the principal and the teacher was suspended! This is all find and dandy but the barbaric act was done and I think, like most animal lovers probably do, that the teacher should get some jail time or something… the person was drowning baby kittens and if they didn't die she would smack them in the head with a plank of wood until they die… maybe she should get hit on the head with a plank of wood until she’s comatose… stupid humans…

Take care folks….

Form day today

Hello!

God weekend people…

Well it’s a form filling day for my daughter and me today. We just completed my summer camp registration papers; there are a shit load of forms that you need to fill up when you’re disabled…  Medicines you take, what you eat, how you sleep, do you have epilepsy, hart problems, constipation… any_freaking_thing… I’m talking ANYTHING!!! About 75 pages easily, but we’re done; now to send it to them and wait…

I still can’t believe that the modifications to my place are on the way to be done now; hopefully I’ll be able to go out on my own this summer… Plus the door opener is remote control activated and they will install a rail on the ceiling… this will eliminate the 2 pole that hang over my bed… a couple of feet of space gained; I just hope the support beams can tolerate this muscle body of mine…

Happy Saturday people…

A slice of time in my life...

Hello!

It has been done!!

I have just finished signing the contracts for the modifications of my pad… an electric door opener, a ceiling lift, wider door way….20k!

There’s only one thing, I have to stay here for 5 years and I don’t know what to think..  It’s like this is it! This is my place until I die! I’m ready to kick the bucket, this is it, there is no going back; I’ll be known as the fat guy on a wheelchair from the adapted apartment in that building…. This is something that I know what to think of it…I’m stuck here until I win the lottery…Pout…

Take care folks…

The Mormon's crier

Hello!

So yesterday I had a visit from the Mormons. Not an exciting one, but they brought a crier to the game and that made the whole thing a little bit interesting. Don’t get me wrong here; I am not making fun of the lady that was doing the on again/off again crying, no.  I wish I was so passionate about something like she is; God I wish I could cry when I see a chocolate brownie or something along those lines. I am a skeptic I guess, not believing but not convince in the accidental world isn’t my cup of tea… I am more of a destiny type of guy, I am here writing to you for a reason; and I was destined to meet that lady yesterday… and I don’t know why… But back to my crier, she would cried every time something “deep” would surface the conversation… like the day she became a Mormon and how it had made her world make sense; or…and this is a funny one for our time –especially those like me who became addicted to “Preacher’s daughter”-  CHASTITY! OK, stop laughing people… The Mormons believe that sex should be part of the whole marriage things… And, the crier cried because this had helped her throughout her life in a very positive way… oh boy,  I guess having out of wedlock sex is what’s causing Africa’s problems… any hoot she cried for a brief moment until that little bee with an itch asked me if I was respecting the chastity commandment  –oh! Because the Lord above did made it a rule- and I, obviously wanting to please the crowd, said yes… then they all started to laugh at me…. Including the crier!! Like if it was an inside joke or something… What!? I'm too ugly or something?!... I got kids! I am wanted in several states in Mexico and the U.S for desecrating marriages.... I got my moves...

WTF! Never trust criers people, never!

Take care folks….

Just do it

Hello!

Happy Friday people…..

Hope life is treating you grand….. So, how’s life? Did I miss something in particular that I should probably know something about?

Well yesterday I had my bath and nothing out of the ordinary came out of it except that my bath guy is real stingy! The guy had no budget to have fun during the weekend because he had to replace his antiquated glasses with new ones…. Making it impossible to catch a movie, have an ice cream, go for a f_king walk!.. Too expensive he claims… geez, I should teach him how to budgetize his salary so that fun always comes first… at the end you compromise with everybody else to pay them later… like my mother-in-law says, and I admire her for this, “Lo bailado y lo tomado no te lo pueden quitar”…or some shit like that. Basically it means that whatever you drink and whatever you dance cannot be taken away from you… in other words, have fun first cause you only live once….. Now on to waiting for my renovation guy so we can draw that contract….

Take care folks…

It is happening

Hello!

(Angelical) Haaaaaaa….

Friday I am signing the contracts for the modification of my home… I will get an electronic door and will be able to wonder off at will. Shit just got real!... I always wanted to say that… twenty thousand dollars to modify this pad so that I can be more at ease in my place and I can wonder off into the streets, whenever I want….cool… And I was cutting it short, 25 more days and the government grant of 13.6K dollars would have disappeared…

Besides that, nothing much happening today, got my bath already, gonna grab some chow and in the afternoon I will go out and buy some coffee as it's on special until tomorrow…Oh yeah, the meeting I had with the Mormons is on today; they haven’t call to cancel it, so I presume is business as always…I might go to church this Sunday as the weather will be okay for me to wonder out there….

That’s all for now people….

One for the road...beep beep...

Hello!

I wasn't going to write anymore but a couple of things happened while I was out…

The first one was a sad one. I saw a mother with her 2 toddlers in strolling them in a carriage while she was smoking like a chimney! Dude, you don’t do that! And I know you pro persons are going to be saying: “Her right man!” Well, where are the kids right? They’re aloud to grow up healthy!...but that aside…

I was strolling behind a dude that was busy texting away with his head tilted towards the cellphone… he really wasn't paying attention, then suddenly he got hit by a car! HILARIOUS!...okay, no just a sick sense of humor, but that did not happen… he actually walked into a wall and I laugh…priceless, one off my bucket list…man why couldn't I foreseen this and videotaped it; I could have uploaded to AFV… you have to admit it was better than my Windex story. After all, my problem was caused by the Mexican fiasco….agh! I should have called my previous post like that….

Take care folks… 

PS I also saw this classy car and it reminded me of my grandmother... she used to have one exactly like it...

Breeeeaaaking News: I'm still alive.

Hello!

Alive thanks to the grace of the most High…. I know, you guys are going: “wtf is he babbling about?!”, well give me a chance to explain here…

In my kitchen there are always items that accentuate the panorama of that room: fruits, kettle, bread, cereals, my lunch and its big glass of water, Windex….yes, you heard me right, Windex. Maybe it is a Mexican thing, I don’t know, but the spray bottle of Windex is something that puts a homey touch to the kitchen…. I think that if I went to Family Feud and they would ask the question “Name something found on the kitchen counter tops”, I would answer with Windex and get buzzed…

But this isn't the main topic of my story here…no… The primary subject is me, squirting a bit of Windex in my mouth! Why you might ask?... No it’s not a fancy of mine, no, I am really losing it. Here I go to drink some water from my glass, which is right beside the Windex bottle, when I inadvertently grab the Windex bottle and spray some of the liquid in my mouth! I immediately dropped the bottle of Windex down, grabbed my glass of water and drank some water; after that I went to the fridge and ate a yogurt… I have heard that when poisoned you should drink milk; I couldn't get the milk so I went for a dairy product… and if I would have access to a bottle of liquor, I don’t care if I’m on antibiotics, I would have gulp down a shot…or two to make me forget the whole incident….who the hell keeps Windex on the kitchen counter tops?!...oh wait, Mexicans do…DUH!... Arriba arriba my ass…

Take care folks…

PS I even Google the question: Can Windex kill you

Wondering mind of mine

Hello!

Gorgeous but coldish out there, and I am with bermudas on and need to tackle myself out there so I can buy some dog food and a couple of 2x2x2.5 blocks of wood…don’t ask me why cause I don’t even understand… actually I do, it’s just fairly lengthy to explain; let’s just say that the safe word is “Tostitos”…. I’ll stop right here and let your imagination run amok..

On another note, thank you Philippines for taking an interest on my blog, hope you are not disappointed… watch them stop coming now… It happens all the time, I mention a country and pouf, they stop coming… look at France, I mentioned them the day after I saw their traffic spiked and now they are nowhere to be seen… I really need to get a life… there must be something better to do than to farm and see who comes and visits my blog…

Take care folks…

Just an update...

Hello!

Good day you all…

She calls it "I dunno..."

So yeah, it seems my artist daughter has one more for her career… her and some of her friend’s art work is being displayed at the local library… the kid not only does paint art, she works with papier mâché making art sculptures…. Where does she get it from?? On my side there are military people, musicians, dentists, religious people…the odd hooker and pimp… and on my wife’s side there are mechanics, auto part dealers… the odd hooker and pimp…. But not artists per say, at least none that I know of… so I’m surprise whenever I get told that her work is being displayed somewhere in the city… good for her…knock on wood that she’ll be happy and successful in what she loves doing… she’ll be the daughter of the infamous blogger Chuck Guzman…

Take care folks

No ups or downs but beautiful hair...

Hello!

Happy first Monday of June!...

So this morning I was all uninspired again, with no hope of providing a good post for you; and then, POW! Heavenly inspiration came to me…PRANCERCISCE!

It’s the latest exercise fad heating our lonely planet… and it actually helps you by making sure you will never get laid.. You got to see this report on what is currently a trend with idiots….

Obviously that was not the inspiration I was looking for, no that was just an appetizer on what seems to be an out of the ordinary day for me; once again, no. My day will probably be a lame one again with no ups or downs; a complaisant day. I don’t know how many of these I can take anymore; no action, no highlights, and no nada! A rather “bleah” type of a day… seriously! Oh wait, I got something new for you! I tried this soap that promises to make my hair grow back on my head! That’s something awkward to write about, no?  I remember this type of soap used to exist in my country and people with gorgeous hair used to swear by it as helping them keep a beautiful hair; it was known as “Jabon de cuche”… pig soap loosely translated; and I don’t know if they used pigs as a primary ingredient for that soap. I can tell you that my nana used it and she had the blackest hair you ever seen; plus she had a shitload of it (hair)…so maybe it works, if I post a picture of me with a full set of hair don’t laugh…

Take care folks…

Quick trip down memory lane...

Hello!

… And what the hell France!? You gone berserk on me all of a sudden. Why the sudden interest in reading my blog, my life?! This just opens old wounds that I thought had become battle scars I could show with dignity… deep shit…

Any hoot, my nurse boyfriend got her new wheels… she’s all happy that she is now driving a Mini Cooper décapotable… convertible…It’s always fun to get a new toy. I used to love when getting stuff like that.. I remember the synthesizer, the 1972 Mercedes Bens, the relatively expensive watch I got –I think it was $1500 back 20 odd years ago-, the drum set, the dangerous relationships… man, when I think about it, I had a full life…yet I feel I could have done more. Great, now I’m semi-depressed, I hope you French people from France are happy…like the songs says “don’t come around here no more…”, which when you analyze it, really doesn't make sense since it’s a double negative; meaning come here again; Tom must have been high when writing the song….

Take care folks and happy weekend of June..

The result of bad weather

Hello!

Good Sunday people…

I guess things happen for a reason…

You know how yesterday I was all bummed out about having stupidly forgotten to reserve a bus and how, because of the weather, it was impossible for me to stroll to my brother’s house to partake on the festivities…. Well, as I said, if it’s meant to be it will be and thank God it wasn't… first of all, it was supper hot (+38c) and I would have gotten there but would have probably never made it back; Second, by the time I would have come back, I would have been supper drenched in water… I mean, think of hurricane weather and that’s how bad the freak storm of yesterday was… Thank you universe for having me stayed in the comfort of my pad watching a movie… any hoot, hope you’re having a wonderful day today and that the stars are smiling upon you…

Take care folks…

A funny thing happen to me

Hello!

A funny thing happen to me that made me realized that I may be losing it….

You see folks, I been really all pep for the party today, so pep was I that I forgot to reserve my bus today. Yup, not proud of that one, I really drop the ball on this one. I had my nice summery clothe ready, my nephew was advice that I needed him to zap my head because my “hair” was too long; heck I even bought a birthday card for the occasion! And trust me, I never buy birthday cards for any occasion; it is usually an envelope with $40 dollars in there and the mention “Happy bday” on the outside… So yesterday night we were talking about how fun it was going to be and how wet we were going to get because of the heat, and then my wife goes to me: “what time is your bus picking you up?”

“Fuck me!”… I forgot to reserve the bus! And it was 8PM; they take reservations until 6PM…. What a caca head! I play Farmville all freaking day and I did fuck all, and I completely completely forgot to reserve a bus… Talk about your dick weeds! Now, if it’s not too hot, I will have to wheelchair my ass there, but it doesn't look good… too bad, there is going to be a wet T-Shirt contest and I’m sure I would have won it….

Take care folks…

June starts right now

Hello!

Happy June folks…

Hot and humid in my neck of the woods, there’s no way I’m stepping outside today…. F the sweet sixteen party, I’m going to be dead by the time I get back. And you know the scary part about this heat wave? The electric company keeps on having brownouts that keep you on your toes because you don’t know if electricity is going to come back.. We had one early this morning and it woke me up faster than you can say “free sex”, I was afraid for a couple of seconds but then electricity came back up and I could fall asleep another 3 hours until I was awoken by the sweet smell of coffee from McDs…. Got to love Saturdays….

Take care folks…