Tax time

Hello!

I completely forgot that my little one still does trick-o-treat! You know what tha means?!... tax time!! I will use the excuse that I must examine all her candies to make sure they are safe, then I will take the ones that I suspect could harm her and dispose of them properly… keepingmy child safe from potential danger… better stock up on insulin….

Happy days folks, happy days….

The not so happy nurse

Hello and yay!

The “on call" nurse finally came and dear Lord, do humans become more sour puss as we get old?? The nurse that came today came with an attitudeee…not even funny!... First off I was told to stay in bed so that the nurse coming can change my catheter, so I followed orders but I did tell them to come through the patio door as I had unlocked it… so where did nurse Broom-Hilda came in?? Ringing at my freaking doorbell without stop! After a while she must have been left into the building because there was knocking at my door; I had a shouting match with her informing her that she had to go through the patio door… Then she came in and started arguing on the whole situation… I asked her if they hadn’t told her about the patio door, she didn’t answer… but when she left, she forgot her route paper (other patients she’s going to visit) so I took a peek and there highlighted in yellow “Go through the patio door…”….In yer face granny….no offense to the grandmothers out there who know how to follow directions…

Take care folks…happy Halloween….

The waiting

Hello!

Well I’m still waiting for them (CLSC), Nothing better to do but to wait for tomorrow when I’ll be getting…. A NEW WHEELCHAIR!!! YAY!! Candy colored red, winter tires, surround sound… everything a handicap guy could ask for and then some….

I made my bus appointment and all is set for my new chair… hopefully tomorrow or the day after I will write something poignant about my old friend that I will be losing; I mean a 5 year relationship in which she gave more than she received… I’m tearing up here already….wzait for tomorrow Chuck…wait..

Back to dreaming and waiting…

Chaos is my middle name

Hello!

Hope all is well for you today….

Me? Well it’s one of those days when you wish to have stay in bed watching TV reading porno books…or poetry ones; whatever tickles your fancy.

You see, this morning was an ordinary one for me: on my chair, breakfast and drop the plate and the coffee cup while trying to bring them to the sink… I know, I know, shit happens and why cry over spilled milk type of shit… but you see, on that table was also the Samsung 10.2 tablet I had gotten my wife for her birthday…So it is a bad thing, this is her baby….i felt bad of what I had done… but there was a bit of hope there, the tablet still worked but the casing is chipped and I know that this annoys the F out of my wife…sorry baby, I’ll get you another one…one day…. So it was a bad beginning of a day for me…. I know, “it can’t get worst…” right?..... It can!

Moments later my bath lady is giving me a bath when suddenly she notices that the urine bag attached to my catheter is lying on the floor. Okay, so plug it back and problem solved…NO….not so simple, it appears the connection is lose and the nurse has to come and change the catheter so that the bag can connect to my bladder again… so my bath lady had to MacGyver the situation so that I can hold on until a nurse comes and fixes the problem properly….

So as you can see my day is just going down and down and oh great, the phone is ringing; needless to say I’m afraid to pick it up….

Take care folks! 

Day is done and I want to cry

Hello!

I guess my day is done… crossed all my “T”, doted all my “i”… I can now rest in the hopes that the teaching staff at my kid’s school will take action on the “bullying” that my daughter is going through; after all there is talk of an “Intervention” planed with the student and my daughter.. apparently they (my kid and the ‘ti-cul) are going to have a powwow to discuss their issue… something my oldest brother developed eons ago with a grade 9 student and little old me… a ‘ti-cul back in those days…And I’m still emotionally distraught by the whole thing…

You see folks, for a Halloween day at school back in 1981, I was new in high school and I was disguised with a latex mask… and this much older guy was constantly bugging me and pulling my mask off… so logically I ran to my older brother who was finishing high school that year and I was certain that he was going to slap the guy up so he would stop bugging me… I was going to be saved!!...or so I thought…. My older brother is a firm believer on making you solve your own problems or in this case he was going to referee a fight to make sure it was clean… He took the guy and me and asked us to fight but he yelled to the crowd that nobody else was going to intervene….way to go bro!! Thank God the guy didn’t want to fight…My brother’s lack of method seem to do the trick that day…Positive thinking and crapping in your pants worked for me that day…I’m still emotionally scarred…

Take care folks!

PS don`t make me tell you my brother`s theory regarding help with homework...you`ll understand my twisted brain better...

Bullying the bully

Hello!

Okay….here’s the scoop

Yesterday after all the brouhaha of my daughter’s incident with her pinky, we started to settle down for the night. I realized that she had gone to bed without super, so my wife called her so she could have some food or worst case scenario, a glass of milk. She was not responding and it was odd as she just had left for bed; so my wife stood up to see what was going on….!!!... she was crying! She gave my wife a lame excuse on how her belly ached. We both didn't buy it and after drilling her incessantly, she spilled her guts out…She was been bullied!!! Not physical, no; but emotionally by a little pipsqueak who laughed at her when she runs and disturbs her while in class… Needless to say we brainwashed her into getting tough with this kid and to just ignored her and defend herself if it happens again. Heck, I even told her to call the kid a “’ti-cul” French-Quebecquer slang for pipsqueak, bordering on vulgar… small ass….shrimp…My kid is 6 feet, so I’m pretty sure that almost everybody in that school, including teachers are all ‘ti-cul compare to her.  So I told her I would speak to her teacher so that this kid is monitored and changed place so she doesn't bother my kid again. Obviously I told my kid that it was going to be handled quietly so the other kid doesn't know what happened….now if things persist I might have to send Lily to set the kid straight….Lily was the name my oldest nephew was called for a brief time by his mother…..and now the call…

Take care folks!

The early bird story

Hello!

Good day world….

Here I am writing before breakfast, getting a jump on my blog and finding out the latest news with Sandy and her path of destruction; all I can say is: “Dam nature! You’re scary…”

Well second day of following my nutrition and writing down what I eat. It’s hard, I am being truthful this time, everything I eat goes on the diary and every sugar reading is jolted down… I got a bad feeling about this….Later on I have a conference call with the school of my kid, something about an intervention plan; and this time I have a thing or two to talk about…. And like all suspense stories, I will update you on my next post….

Take care folks!

Pinky swear

Hello!

Well, life is what happens to you when you’re making plans…wise words…

Rememba that nappy afternoon I was going to have? Well it didn't materialize itself! Just as I had posted last note on my blog I got a call from the school of one of my daughters: she had a bit of an accident and maybe she should come home… at least that’s what I got from the call… it appears she was playing ball and her pinky was a victim…So my wife rushed over and took her to the clinic where they are waiting….but don’t feel bad about her, before that she came home and played her ass off on a video game AAANND  then she went to the clinic for her 4PM appointment….i guess she’s off to school tomorrow, cross my fingers…no pun intended….I pinky swear that!

Take care folks!

Instagram this!

Hello!

Que pasa crowd…

Took my daily bath, had a bagel with ham for lunch (plus I’m writing a food diary for my nutritionist) and I’m about to re-see some programs that I recorded this weekend about science…it’s going to be a siesta marathon later on…. Then my day will be complete….. Hopefully I will wake up on time to jolt down another post prior to my day ending… what a life…

Hey!... I did my good deed of the day… Yeah, my bath guy was all depressed about getting a high definition package because the people on the TV seem to be “fat”…stretchy. I told him that the problem was with his ratio; that he probably had it set to “Zoom” or something along those lines… He still didn’t get it until he finished giving me my bath and I showed him… Then he was all happy that I had showed him what button to press and the difference between the ratios…. Now if someone can show me how Instagram works, I would be happy too…

Take care folks…

Hunkering down for Sandy

Hello!

Good day bands of e-friends, how the heck are you?

Where do they come up with this?

Apparently here in the North East of North America we are bracing for Sandy who still a freaking hurricane (category 1) much to my surprise. Here I was thinking crap of this event when in the news, USA< Canada and Mexico, they are making much ado about it… New York is in a state of panic right now… metro system closed, flights have been canceled and here I am giving the rest of the world a meteorological news bulletin… wow… I wonder how many of you are going to give me credit by saying: “I read it on the Silver star Picayune…”… Yeah this will get me a Pulitzer for blogging…Ooor, get me committed to a fancy mental institution... 

And in other news…. Not much, my life still stale! Nothing to report only that in 3 days I get my new toy!! A candy red color wheelchair with the latest technology in the wheelchair world… but then again, it’s just like a car that depreciates by half as soon as it leaves the chair lot…

Any hoot people, nothing but love for ya….

PS If ever you want a GPS of some sort, I can also provide you with accurate directions to your destination… ask my wife who uses my GPS services on a regular basis…

Technology sucks

Hello!

Happy Sunday folks….

Another cloudy day today thanks to that last hurricane that hit the gulf. I know that later is supposed to rain and it will go on throughout the week….great! looks like I am going to be indoors all freaking week long, except for Thursday when I go and get my new wheelchair…yay!...but honestly, I don’t know why I get so excited about the chair is like a car, it will lose half its value when I take it out of the shop… bummer…

On another note, my oldest is going to start getting tutored… She’s doing so suck at school and the worst part, she can’t even hide it… I mean, I get a communication from school telling me that if I want to find out how my kid is doing all I have to do is go to their website…..and there in black and white it state: Your kid sucks!!... in a more polite manner but that’s what it says… so I got her a math tutor…I remember the days I used to kill people at will so that I could attend their funeral and be excuse from school…..aah…those were the days….

Take care folks!!

Feeling good for a loser

Hello!

Happy Saturday people….

Slow start with a healthy breakfast to start the weekend. Got nothing planed and the weather is not helping… cloudy day today but we are expecting rain until God knows when. My youngest is going to go and close the amusement park for the season; so my wife will have to take her tomorrow…sucks to be her! Other than that, I didn't win the 50 million yet but I am house shopping as we speak so I will not get caught off-guard when I win the lottery….yeah, I’m also going to purchase an air-conditioned mausoleum….

Take care folks!

Weekend never rests

Hello!!

Good Friday folks….

Weekend time for every one, and in my neck of the woods it’s going to be a wet one. I don’t know if it’s the remains of Sandy coming our way or what….

Well yesterday was a “hectic” one around here! In the space of 20 minutes I had my nurse, my pharmacy delivery guy (I’m on antibiotics 7 days a week now), fire alarm testers and my bath guy. So busy morning  for me and a noisy afternoon….You see, when they test the fire alarms in the apartments  they also do a battery of tests on the building fire alarm system. The fire alarm must have gone off at least 10 times yesterday; so concentrating on anything was a task almost impossible to accomplish…it was hard enough to get a nap going, but I did it….thank God for Nat Geo and its super interesting shows….And today I get the CLSC nutritionist coming and I am going out to play my lottery; plus my freaking hands are shot!! It promises to be a one post wonder day, so enjoy it…

Any hoot, I wish you all a candy filled weekend or whatever her or his name is *grin*....

Take care folks!

The building's clairvoyant

Hello!

So had my Bistro microwave thingamajig, did some genealogical research (without success), I think my day is done and I can basically shutdown for the rest of the day…

Hey! Did I tell you about one of the new tenants of the building? He’s there but he isn’t? Mentally challenged type of shit… Yeah, I don’t know if to feel sorry or what for these type of people. I mean, he doesn’t know what is going on around him and basically says little or when he does he says “things that make you go um?!”. Yesterday I was going out and he was nice enough to hold the door for my daughter while she set up the ramp. Well my kid got a taste of what the “Twilight Zone” is all about (no not the vampire shit), the guy looked at her and told her “There’s an accident and it’s all your fault”… my kid just did what I have taught them to do when face with an odd situation: Nod and smile…Come ‘on! This from a dude that all he does is push against the building door all day??!!..

But here’s the “WTF?!” moment, when I came back in and she was told to prepare the food for Olivia, while opening the can of dog food the dam thing exploded in her hands, maiming her left arm…okay it didn’t but the thing did explode in her and she was traumatized for a sec or two….Needless to say she wasn’t going to miss school because of this.. I reminded her of what our new loopy friend had told her and pointed out that this was probably the accident he was talking about…..she nod and smile…

Talk about your freaking Nostradamus shitheads…I don’t know who’s crazier him or me….

Take care folks!

A message that changed everything

Hello!

Good day folks….

Another (3 in a row) beautiful day out there with tons of sun and comfortable weather….

So yesterday day night I came in from the outdoors after having taken a beneficial fall sunbath… it was gorgeous out there…. When I came in, I noticed there was a light flashing on my phone; that means I have a message… you see even if my girls are home, it does not mean the phone is going to get answered. No, I think they have some sort of trauma because that puppy (phone) can ring for hours and they won’t touch the dam things!! They’re like zombies that won’t react to anything unless we tell them to…if I would have yelled “Phone’s ringing”, then they would have reacted with “oh! I got it” and picked up the call… like if it was news to them that the goddam thing was ringing….

Any hoot, I got a message from the CMR (wheelchair folks), they wanted to give me an appointment for my new chair!!!! I am getting my new toy next week… So I called them back and left a message since they stated that it was next week or the end of November if I didn’t hurry to book a date… Fuck that! I’ve been waiting for over 4 moth for this, I am not going to wait another month….

So this post is just to say I got zombie girl who don’t answer the phone and I am getting a new chair next week…things are looking up….

Take csre folks!

Enjoying my day

Hello!

Happy Tuesday….

What a beautiful week so far!! Two days of sunny skies and “mild” fall temperatures so far; I wonder what type of winter we are going to have..? Nothing major plan for today except perhaps play  WOW and count grains of sands….

So I went out to drop my kid at the library yesterday and I took advantage to skip a couple of extra meters and purchase butter croissants and chocolatines at my local French bistro…for a dozen croissants and 6 chocolatines $30 bucks…OH pure, c’est pas possible!!!....I could have gotten 12 croissants for about 10 bucks at Tim Horton's and 5 loonies for 10 chocolatines at my food store…they are of the factory made type but you can still eat them… But yesterday, I was feeling French, so I didn't care how much I spent… besides if all goes according to plan, I should be a millionaire by Wednesday!! And according to the conversation I had with my oldest, I better enjoy it because come December 21^st… The end of the world is here….oh well, we know that this is not going to happen, but I do hope and pray that I become a millionaire because I won’t be able to afford the butter croissants and chocolatines from France anymore….so I better come up with a plan B soon…

Take care folks!

Bill is not a happy camper

Hello!

Sooooo so sorry to my FB friend…all 148 of them…I succumbed under my new name pressure…and what am I babbling about you ask??

Well, you see, in my last post I wrote about my new name given to me because of my new found luck; and following my post, I filled up the survey that I was asked to do because of my lucky charm and I am not talking about THAT charm… so at the end of the survey I was told I would have 10 extra chances of winning if I “Shared” what I had done with my FB friends…and…and I ratted my FB friends out!! I’m sure they all got this message that I had filled a survey from “Winners” and I am sure they (FB friends) didn’t appreciate it.. I mean, these are people with careers: Lawyers, Doctors, psychopaths…

What is Bill going to think of me? Imagine Gates, who often gives me info on his latest crusade, against Polio, Malaria, Cannibalism… he’s important and for me to send him a message about me filling up a survey at “Winners”?!... What the hell man! What is he going to think of me!? How irrelevant am I going to sound to him?!... I will come off as stupid as a Gates crusade in Saskatchewan against prairie dogs…

Stupid peer pressure…

Luck of the Irish

Hello!

Good morning….North America…good day rest of the world…

Well looks like I’m still here typing away stories that somehow I don’t think will make the evening news or get me a Pulitzer prize…but I’m still here….

So this weekend I had breakfast with my family to celebrate my niece’s birthday; did I mention it was free? And one of the stories that was exchanged between my cousin and I was that I had won $75 bucks in the lottery, twice, and I hadn’t blog about it. Well guilty!! Last couple of weeks I have hit this gagentous accomplishment that has earn me the name “Lucky Buddha”…and the reputation of it… I mean, sure I did win 2 lots of such nature in a row, and I’m in the green right now, but I like to keep it a secret as much as I can, I mean what if there were bad guys trying to steel my 150? Or worst, what if my wife wants half of it?? That’s $75 dollars I’ll have to give her…and what if I become a local celebrity with tons of people asking me to give them the winning combination to life… WTF am I now, a rabbit foot?!...well guess what? It already started, yesterday someone asked me to fill a survey online so that I could make them win a thousand smackers… apparently they had heard the story about my lucky streak… and here I was trying to remain anonymous….

I will help out as far as numbers but strangers coming up to me and rubbing their lottery tickets on my belly is where I’ll draw the line….

Take care folks!

Breakfast club stories

Hello!

Happy Sunday folks…

Just came back from my niece’s birthday breakfast….I love a free meal…and I found out that little shit is going to Europe this spring!! She’s going all over the place, including Amsterdam!! You know what that means?! Pot brownies from the corner store “Mellow Yellow”!!! Party time baby! I told her to get me some but then she went all prude on me about this fine cuisine…something about this being illegal and shit… As I told my oldest, if you are young and up and coming, then stay away from drugs; but if you reach my age and this is as good as it gets… P A R T Y  HARD!!!

Well, hope you Sunday is as good as you want it….

Pinch me

Hello!

Good Saturday people…

Didn't do much except take a stroll to your local super store to purchase the chow for the week… like always  my wife is the penny pincher and I am on the opposite spectrum of that world… so her measly $90 dollars converted themselves by magic to twice and ,more… I told you, I’m a shopaholic; stupid Downy Unstoppable didn't make it because -witch voice-“..they had no HP label and it might brake the washing machine”. I came close though…

Then coming back, surprise surprise, fall is really freaking here! The trees have lost their foliage and whatever is left has turned yellow or red… F_me Virginia, there is no Santa Claus….

Take care homies, free breakfast tomorrow!!

To the cat outside my home

Hello!

Have I ever told you I hate stray pets?....with a passion! Why? Because they come and shatter my perfect world vision where pets and humans get along just fine….

You see, in reality I adore dogs and cats, but I hate it when humans take a pet such as these and when they don’t want them anymore, many times the poor animals end on the street at the mercy of the city's nature…and then I see them and my heart aches with compassion… Why do they have to suffer in such way??.. I mean look at Hammer, she was a stray cat that we slowly lure, successfully, into our home and now is part of this family… I wish I could do the same for all the animal that are out there, but there are laws and it is expensive to bring them from the street into a home…maybe I should start hating the humans who abandon them…

Take care folks!

Impromptu day off

Hello!

Good day people…

A rainy, damp day to you all….

Well I made it through another week of random events that make up my life. Today I have company here with me; my youngest is…cough cough…” is sick! Isn’t it funny that when they come and tell you this in the morning they look like they are dying, but as soon as you call school to informed them of your daughter’s absence they are the happiest person on the face of this Earth? Yeah well my dying daughter is playing with her dolls upstairs and enjoying her sick day…

Today will be another day of looking for something to do; no offense. I have a couple of things lined up but I think I’ll be done by noon; so maybe a nap is called for in a dark day like today; nothing to do with yesterday that was probably the last “Hurrah” of summer/fall. Well I’m sure I’ll come up with another post during the day…any hoot…here’s to a lovely dark and rainy Friday ….

Take care folks!

Week is done

Hello!

Good day people….and what a “busy” day it has been for me…

Like always, my bath guy came at around his usual time but I had totally forgotten about my nurse who today came with a student nurse so it took a bit longer. Then my dietitian called to say she was coming, I had to lie through my teeth so I could reschedule the appointment; now it’s set for next week, Friday to be exact…..I also got a couple of calls related to my health and now I am all yours… well not for so long because it is such a beautifull day out there that as soon as my daughter gets here I am off to the mall!

This weekend is shaping up, Saturday diddly squat…so far… but Sunday I got my niece’s bday breakfast to attend, so I am getting a free meal… I hope….and basically that has been my day… here is hopping that tomorrow is less of a rat race….

Take care folks!

Somebody's watching me..

Hello!

Hi folks, here I was ready to post something lame when I recalled an experience that happened to me yesterday when I went to buy my weekly dream….It was weird because I didn’t like the feeling that came over me, one of mistrust, one of weakness.

You see I went to the bank machine to withdraw $60 smackers, but when I got the cash I suddenly felt like everyone was seeing me with “your cash is mine” look! I felt that people were going to hurt me and take my cash away… I felt being eyeballed by everyone… I felt helpless in case of a plausible attack by someone… I didn’t like that feeling…

Take care folks!

Barking at a Wednesday

Hello!

How you doing today?

I swear time seems to fly by so fast these days; it’s not even funny…

So yesterday I’m doing my thing and decided to tilt back so I could relax my buttocks.  Well I was tilting like always and about one third of the tilt: “WRACK”…. Stop stop stop… I brought back my seat to an almost straight position and settle down for the rest of the day. It’s not that the tilt mechanism was broken, it’s just that if I would have completely tilt: It would have gotten broken! Right now I am sitting down on a wheelchair that if I tilt too much it is going to break! And they just changed the tilt mechanism about a month ago, maybe less. So I called the CMR, wheelchair people, and left a message on the urgency to get the new chair ASAP as this one kept on breaking….I hope they return my call today or move their fanny so I can get my wheelchair before Halloween, heck before Christmas!!!

And that’s my beginning of the day folks, take care…..

Losing my mind

Hello!

Today my meals on wheels was all pupu caca…I touch a bit of it but then left it in the microwave as it really sucks and it’s not appealing to your eyes…it was awful, I just had the peach and carrot cake that came with the meal; then I turn the tube on, saw Naked Science and fell asleep. What a productive afternoon…sigh… I will go out later and play my lotto numbers and buy something, ANYTHING, I think I’m a compulsive buyer…spender… I cannot have money in my pockets because if I do, I must use it…”Keep the economy rolling”, that’s what I always say…yeah, that and “Fuck me! I lost again…”

Any hoot folks, I have to find out what happened to the 2 dollars my daughter left on the table for my food this afternoon… I have to analyze who might have taken it, you know the usual suspect:

• My wife…because she was in jail doing time when I met her and therefore old habits call
• My daughter….because she has some of my wife blood and therefore she could have done it
• My bath guy… because he took along time when he brought out my dog for a walk while the girl bathed me; a two person job
• The lady from meals on wheels…because she really wasn't there when I talked to her and could have been hitting the bottle prior to my delivery of that crappy food

 I really do hate it when I lose my toonie as my Sherlock kicks into high gear and I want to accuse somebody…any freaking body….man O.C.D  really sucks…

Take care folks!

Tuesday's done

Hello!

Good day folks, how’s it hanging?....

I got my bath but not from that English girl but by someone else who I gotten to know throughout the years and she’s kosher….so nothing major on that front. The major news was thrown at me by my bath guy who came with her: His house will be passing on TV tonight and he says he looks like a fat effeminate guy (his words not mine)! He will appear on a show where 3 designers propose their project to renovate part of his house, he has to choose one project and the winning project he chose gets done.

Apparently th shows producer/director liked how his girlfriend acted on the show, but he was a bit too serious so they asked him to be happier and my guy over did it… so he looks like a fat effeminate guy high on juice! Now I have to see if I get that channel or if I can find the program on the web so I can give him my opinion next week….. Got to go and search the channel…

Take care folks!

skedaddle my way out

Hello!

Well it looks like a real bad day…hold on; the sun came up as I was writing… Crazy weather out there! So this weekend I may or may not take the family for a Chinese buffet again, I don’t know yet…maybe I’ll go nuts and do 3 amigos, it’s been a while and that fried ice cream is always a welcome sight for sore eyes…Tomorrow I get a new bath lady since my original one is on vacation; apparently she’s young and an English speaking babe; I don’t know if I want my wiwi to be held by a Britt….nah, it’s okay girls are always welcome at the Okay Corral…

Tata folks!

10 year plan

Hello!

My o my, what a heart to heart talk I had with my Monday bath guy today; we talk about life! You see folks, my bath guy is 5x years old, he has no more kids to take care of and he’s a freaking grandfather already; so he has been here, he has done it…And he was dispensing free advice today for no apparent reason…. Oh wait, maybe because I told him that my wife and me had commented on how weird it would be when the girls grow up and we are left alone, again…. Well the guy says it’s weird because there is always a 3 way interaction and suddenly, it becomes a 2 way one!! Sh****t…. He said that you have to rediscover your partner and start a new….gulp!.... what if you don’t find a middle ground to meet, I asked…. His answer was like everyone at the CLSC, “Get a new partner”…..

Wow, it’s true! Everyone I interact at the CLSC with is either divorced or a loser… My Monday guy, my Tuesday/Wednesday guy (Not the girl, she’s cool), my Thursday guy… all separated! I guess the health care industry is in total chaos… So my 10 year plan probably holds a divorce….I guess we’ll have to work it in there somehow…

Take care folks!

Nothing out of the ordinary

Hello!

Hope everyone had a great weekend….

So where do I begin?.... well it was a quiet weekend for me, nothing major happening; had some tacos, rented Snow White with Kristen whatchamacallit, same old same old. But then, out of the freaking blue: NOTHING! Seriously folks if you were thinking to yourselves what outrageous stunt was old Chuck going to go through this weekend, well it was a vey quiet weekend.. Really…. and I had nothing to say…So a lame weekend for a lame life… But today is another week, with the possibilities of having something outrageous happen to me…We’ll see, oh, we discovered World of Warcraft after the Nintendo incident, so if you ever see Picudo out there, say “hello”; who knows, it might save your fanny doing so….

Take care folks!

PS Happy engagement Cruz….

Sorry to interrupt but...

Hello, again!!

Sorry to bug, but don’t you just hate it when you say goodbye but then the conversation, although one way, is re-opened?

Yeah well, MY NEW CHAIR IS READY!!!! I just call them and I talked to my occupational therapist, who at this moment is the hottest thing in the world, and asked her about my chair; and you know what said? “Sugar, it’s been ready for a while as have I. How come they haven’t called you so we can test our new sex toy?”…look I put quotation signs, so it must be true….AAaaa… I am so turned on by her right now, my wheelchair that is, that I feel I am going to faint!.. Candy red, new tilting mechanism, new controls…yeaaah… I got a HUD for Pete’s sake!! Do you know what that is?!... That’s right, a Heads Up Display!! You only find these things in F16s and other type of advance fighters…I got freaking afterburners and fart eliminator!!! I am so going to rock! When I get it I am going to go out and test that puppy at the nearest disabled center.. I am going to turn heads when they see me… I’ll be the coolest thing since liquid hydrogen, girls are going to go nuts over me; I’ll be like catnip to them!... The Universe is getting right this time and I think I just soil my pants….

I’ll see you at the movies folks!!

PS I hope she wasn't playing with me... she will never call me back today...she's on freaking weekend time... I really hate her...

The chronic solution

Hello!

I am a happy camper today; remember that I reported that my Nintendo Wii was kaput? Well, my savvy of a wife remembered that on the old Nintendo 64 console when a game didn’t work you had to blow into the game and/or the console so that it would start working again…..Guess what? Nintendo hasn’t changed a bit, it still true today as my wife demonstrated to me. She just unplugged the dam thing, blew inside the console and eureka! Console came back to life!!! Maybe they should add that to their tips on troubleshooting problems with the game console…. Good old wife, I knew she would come in handy one day…

Happy weekend folks!

PS Now if only Rogers would be as helpful as her when upgrading to an IPhone 5…

Vitamin "C" up to my wazoo

Gutten Tag Leute

A glorious mid-morning to most of America and a happy afternoon/night to the rest of the world…

So what’s in the agenda today…..!!...How about 80 pounds of oranges for 4 people?!.. Yeah! My daughter’s school was holding their annual citrus jamboree and they wanted us to sell sell sell oranges/grapefruits so that they could get funds for whatever they need them for… So we sold a total of 120 pounds worth of oranges and 80 of them are coming home to be eaten! They will probably be devoured in about 2 weeks…. The sad part is that it will be the last year of this “tradition” seeing that my youngest will leave that school next year because she will be going to high-school….scary stuff….

But I told my brother, who’s kid goes to the same school and has about 3 more years there, to keep me in mind for the oranges next year as I will probably be buying some from him….them oranges are good…

Auf Wiedersehen!

Sh*t just got real

Hello!!

Well it had to happen, after many years of having fun together, she called it quits. I don’t know what went wrong it was rather sudden but I feel I am partly to blame. I probably used her too much (according to her I guess), but what else could I do? A disabled guy’s need and wants are rather demanding and it finally took a toll on her… so what am I going to do now??...maybe I’ll find someone else that can cater to my needs better than her…maybe it was for the best… But what are we going to tell the kids now?.... It’s not going to be easy, specially my little one…. Fuck, why is life so complicated?!....

I’ll guess we’ll move on, it will be hard but I better start looking at what can replace a Wii console….Stupid thing quit on me, on us!.. Just as I was going to breach the $10 million bells…Not fair!  I will never find another console like that one, I guess I’ll take up knitting or something…

Take care folks!

Just saying

Hello!

So they came, they saw, they did their duties and I am now clean, shaven, medically taken care of. And the nurse?!... Oohlala…. French Parisian accent, I couldn’t get enough of her saying “Chocolatine”, I forced her…And now!? End of the day for me! I really have nothing else to do but to analyze why I didn't get the other 3 numbers. Isn't it weird that for 3 numbers you get $10 bucks but for six you get $16 million dollars?...strange… I have to aim better next time…

Take care folks!

D vitamin: The pick me upper

Hello

Happy Thursday masses….

My vitamin D companion

Here I am half naked waiting for a nurse and my bath guy. I woke up this morning in a “I’m still poor” state of mind and was looking at my day as half empty…even though it’s gorgeous out there and the nurse coming over is an exchange nurse from Paris…so I really have nothing to be gloom about, but I was! But then after taking some D vitamins from the sun, I came to the computer and checked my lotto numbers with the NASA developed software and WHAMO!! $15 bucks people!! I halfway there paying the software. My outlook on life changed, I was seeing the glass half full… I have said that I was no longer going to play the lottery but now I will definitely drop a couple of hundreds in this art of surprises…and who knows, maybe one day I’ll write a book about it….

Them astronuts it should be written like that) are smart…

Take care folks!

Dooms day predictions

Hello!

So yeah, I did finish my last post quite abruptly and in suspense, but there were reasons why. The first one being that my bath lady was here and when you are asked to get naked because she’s going to make you happy, you don’t asks questions… I am now a happy camper because I am clean… The other reason?! Well… it had to do with the earthquake and how it attached itself to December 21^st 2012…. The end of the world, oooooh; as per those crazy Mayans who had nothing better to do than to end their civilization in a “fuck you all” state of mind…but let me explain…

Somebody's got to clean this up...

We all know what an earthquake is, right? (Tectonic plates rubbing each other the wrong way…or some shit like that).. Well it’s not that simple to some of us…. Earthquakes, floods, famines, gonorrhea are all signs of the end of the world. The big guy is coming back to kick some non-believer butt…And them freaking Mayans didn’t help either.. A lot of people who are nameless once again and that I have to be there in moments like this to reassure them “we’re not going to die”, claim that the earthquake is just a precursor event to what will happen come December… (I swear if I would get a nickel every time shit like this happens…)… So once again her or his world came crumbling down! “It’s over! Why continue?!”….

…!!!...Because it is not over!! The day will come when we will be invaded by aliens and then you can say “It’s over!”.. but forfeiting because some dorks who ran out of space on a rock to continue their calendar, no!! Mark my words MC, Visa, Amex will all want to be paid that month; don’t give them some lame excuse about the "end of the world" crap. Not gonna work…. I will die, he or she will die my kids and their lineage will pupu caca out of existence and 500 million years from now humans will cease to exist… But ending on a specific date just cause some old civilization said so, not going to happen….

Plus if it does happen, you can’t sue me; you’ll be dead and so will I….

Take care folks!

PS My mother felt the quake and so did many other people I know...Sucks to be me...

My top 5 end of the world predictions:

1st Sucker punched by an asteroid

2nd Aliens come by and they are not happy to see us

3rd Trigger happy humans with nuclear weapons

4th Gamma ray hits Earth and we wobble ourselves into oblivion

5th Natural causes... Sun engulf Earth as well as the other 3 rocky planets and I ain't talking about Ur-anus. Get It?!

Obviously there are other scenarios but highly unlikely... I mean, a giant Elvis, really?!....

The silent earthquake

Hello!

Top of the morning to you…

Whar a windy, somber day it is and I still have to keep myself active for about 8 hours or so….

So what’s on the radar today?.....Oh yes, we had An earthquake this night and I slept right through it…again!... Last one was when my oldest was finishing 6^th grade, so about  3 years ago…and I miss that one too… This one was a 4.5 (I think) and some pople felt it, but that’s about it. I’m prtty sure that’s the subject of the day in offices around town (it made Canadian headlines today): “Did you feel the earthquake at night?)… Obviously most of the people will say they didn’t and rightfully so! I mean, the quake was in my region and nothing happened; don’t get me wrong here, I don’t want to be in the middle of one either… I think I would crap my pants if ever I was in a big quake… Nevertheless, the great quake of 2012 has already started making magic: “The end of the world”….. I will blog about this on my next post…

Take care folks!

Legless in distress

Hello!!

Good Monday/Tuesday….

Where do I bleeping begin?!..... It was the “Thanksgiving” from hell!!…It was horrible, I am just, at this moment, recuperating my mobility. ..

Okay, so yesterday I jump on the bus to go and eat some “Chinese food”…there has to be quotations mark here because I don’t believe this is what you eat in China (They have McDonald’s like everybody else, my daughter told me so)… So first thing first, handicap on handicap violence? Really!? I didn't know it existed! I was strap in the first sitting position of the bus when we picked up another wheelchair guy, aaand the guy rammed my chair! Once an accident right?? Okay, how about 3 times more?... the bus driver had to intervene and tell the guy that there was someone in the back of him!! What was he, stupid also?.... Here I thought we had something in common. Kinda like black folks who share slavery as a common denominator to unite against aggression….I thought handicaps were the same, well it isn't...Sad....

Then coming back, I’m on the bus elevator and my chair hits something and it stops moving!! WTF now?! Great, I had to be manually brought back home folks; we’re talking about pushing 800 pounds of parts and muscles….Plus the day was off for everyone, I couldn’t get help from anybody.. Even the wheelchair emergency number they had given me was no use to me….I did F all until today…..I just got my legs back and can now blog about my pain….

That’s life folks….

Chow time

Hello!!

Good Sunday folks….

On my way to a Chinese buffet fest, all you can eat marathon of General Tao chicken awaits! This is our way of celebrating a holiday (Thanksgiving) in a place that I don’t believe has ever heard of it…but hey, I am thankful for whatever little I have and the food I’m about to devoured and I’m pretty sure the owners of that restaurant are thankful for having their place full and their cash register ringing….

Tomorrow we are going to be making some special food here at home for my girls and I, and then it’s back to normal on Tuesday… oh well, there is now Christmas on the horizon and the girls are starting to reveal their list…. Funny how a couple of years ago all I wanted for Christmas was to be able to walk again, now I want an electric drum set that kicks ass!!

Take care folks!

Pumpkin pancakes anyone?

Hello!

Good weekend folks…

Well here I am with what I think may be $5 lucky pesos!!... I think I hit a couple of numbers in the lottery, I mean, call me crazy but I think I won some money… at least that’s my positive winning mood this morning….

I already had my grilled cheese sandwich and I am already thinking of what we are going to have for breakfast tomorrow or for the holiday Monday: Pumpkin pancakes!! I didn’t even know of their existence until I checked my FB page and a post that General Mills posted regarding this recipe….Got to try it out….Any hoot, back to crunching numbers people…

Have a great weekend!

Poker face Spears

Hello!

Good Friday to you all…

A post before my meeting with the food freak….

So I just finished some vitamin D session with the Sun when suddenly it hit me. I will post about Britney Spears and her facial expressions she has during the X-Factor show; and who knows, maybe when she’s constipated or happy too…I really can’t tell…

You see folks, ever since the show started I have focus on the faces of the judges to determine if they like what they heard or not. Demi is a piece of cake with her smile, L.A is a simpleton with his wobbling of his head or his hand gestures…Simon?.. Dear Lord that man was born expressionless but I do love when he gets a curved ball and a twinkle in his eyes appears….but Britney?! Does she likes what she hears? Does she not like it? Is she in pain? Happy? Sad?  Constipated?! I really can’t tell!! I mean I’m pretty sure a lot of her problems emanate from the lack of expression in her face: when she gets an “I love you marry me” phrase, I’m pretty sure that what the potential groom sees is “She hates me and wants to puke”…. I think that if she had more of a finger movement like LA, a lot of us wouldn’t be guessing on what miss Spears is thinking…just saying…

Take care folks!

A stone throw away

Hello!

I’m sorry, bit of a cat nap there….

Well hands are still shot plus I had a late visit from my nurse; and tomorrow I have the nutritionist and she’s going to give me crap for not doing her work properly.  Man I hate having a personal nutritionist, nurse, assistants and other people that make my life easier but give me crap….I feel like an important movie star with people to do stuff for me but with the exception that I cannot fire them…

So yesterday the shit hit the fan when I left my lotto tickets at eyesight of my no longer better half. She flipped when she saw that I had invested (that’s the word I’m going with here) $35 dollars in money making opportunities! I told her that we once had agreed into going nuts and spending …I mean investing more than 2 bucks into lottery dreams! Plus I explain to her how this ticket numbers had been scientifically selected by a number crunching software (developed by NASA) in a high performance computer (developed by DELL) that were (tickets) going to provide us with financial stability; there was little or no room for failure…..it’s a win/win situation were the precise words I used as an answer to her conundrum ; that she was going to be thankful when the first lottery draw was going to prove me right. She didn't buy any of it and her negative mood was going to jinx my plans of great greatness....

Well, the first one (lottery draw) came and left… and I’m pretty sure that there is a number that my kid didn't write properly making me lose $9 dollars. But there’s still tomorrow when I will be proven right once and for all…that or I’ll start betting on horse races…maybe I've got a problem, yeah my wife and kids have to go…they are too negative…

Take care folks!

A family thing

Hello!

Good Wednesday folks…

So this morning I had the news that one of my readers was not seeing my blog. Well, not my problem, right? Wr_oong!! This person was connected, I couldn't ignore her even if I wanted to do so…she is like a bad itch that won’t go away, like the cancerous mole that could kill you if not treated immediately; she is my sister-in-law: a.k.a little J’s mom.  

F_ME! What is the problem here?! I haven’t deleted her from my FB friends; I haven’t taken her away from my blog group. So what’s the story morning glory?! Well I investigated the incident and I have come to the conclusion that the problem lies 14 inches in front of the screen! A classic ID_10T obstruction… So I called her and let her know that somehow she is not my friend in FB, nor is she a friend of my wife and therefore she should leave us alone….It will be awkward when I see her this Sunday…

Take care people!

Thanksgiving weekend

Hello!

Blimey me! Thanksgiving is here and I hadn’t prepare anything until I was told what was happening yesterday. It’s not like I care about the holiday, it’s just that we never celebrated when in my country; I don’t think they celebrate this still. It’s just that the American started this as a legit holiday to say “Thank You God" for letting them survive long enough to start a colony… And Canada followed…. I got nothing against this holiday, heck when you work you get a day off…not going to make a difference in my life, I have the day off always! Of course I will not get a bath on Monday, so I’ll be extra stinky for Tuesday’s  crew…I will however say “Thanks” for my kids and wife, for my financial stability (although not the millions, I still survive), for the food I get, for the “health” I enjoy (could be worse) and for…. WTF is that noise interrupting my train of thought?!!....bear with me while I investigate…

It was nothing, dump truck coming to pickup the garbage container, but it was extra noisy today. Wonder why?...any hoot, so yeah “Thanksgiving” is on this Monday and I will go out to a Chinese buffet to celebrate a Canadian holiday… we can’t have it at my house because ever since Hammer came in little J’s dad can’t tolerate it… something about his religious beliefs, who knew Jewish people had a thing against cats!...chill Rabbi, just yanking your chains here. The momma’s boy is allergic to our feline friend, that or he gets overjoy and stars crying for no apparent reason… what a wuss…

That’s my day today, hands are really shot today and I will only post if there is something extremely urgent that must be told…

Take care folks!

PS Pogo time or corn dog time.....

The cold shoulder

Hello!

Hump day…good day to you all and happy humping…

So a sunny day here today, with temperatures hovering around 9c degrees waiting for my bath person to come. I assume it is going to be a quiet one, not much happening and no meals on wheels; better for me as I think the lady that came last time has a beef against me. You see, last Friday the nutritionist came by and asked me about my meals on wheels, I told her about the bad experience I had with the bloc of meat and the lack of sauce that was on my last meal; which had been brought to me by a newbie. Fast forward to yesterday when the same newbie came but this time she wasn't talking or making eye contact; and the food was properly cut and there was the presence of what appeared to be apple sauce…. So I take it somebody was reprimanded somewhere and thus the end result… I guess there is drama everywhere if you look carefully, I just wish it wasn’t here…

Take care folks!

Waiting for the truth

Hello!

I think I may have figured out an enigma that has been obsessing my family for years now.. Yesterday was the last straw and I had to put my conscience to rest and share the light with my family. My oldest will be proud to know that I finally know the answer to the question: Who is the mother on “How I met your mother”

Good old Internet comes through again! I have 3 possible persons that fit my theory but the last one is a bit weak, bear with me…

There is Victoria, whom Ted is currently seeing and bakes delicious cupcakes….why you ask? Well Ted tells his kids that their mother makes the best cupcakes he ever had…Strong point…

There is this total stranger who Ted bumps in the bar and they interchange a few words for a couple of seconds….Why?? Why waste TV on something so ordinary? He could have said “sorry” and that’s that, but they focus on he girl for a couple of seconds as if to say: “Hi, I just met you; you wanna start a life together?”….almost…wait for it….guilty!

There is Barney’s half-sister that has not appear in the show yet but that Ted could have run into in college while he was teaching architecture…And while I’m at it, it could be Robin’s sister because Ted calls Robin “aunt Robin” to his kids or…or… He could be gay and end up with the limo driver, Ranjit, and the kids could be adopted… As you see folks, I really need a life…

Take care people!

Takes all sorts to make a world

Hello!

Drama...Love it!

Um?....Screaming outside my place, in a foreign language I can’t understand….wonder what’s it all about??....Okay okay… it was the guy who replaced the kitchen cabinet doors with the administrator of the building…. And it was in English, Jamaican style man!... Apparently the cabinet guy was complaining about people stealing his shit and how he doesn’t work like that and the admin was telling him to calm down but it was too late the cabinet guy stormed off slaming something or other….

Apparently my bath guy who flunked his typing exam a couple of weeks ago, because they wanted him to type 30 words a minute and he could only mustard 12, will be trying his luck at another place that requires 25 words a minute… This, of course, is being requested by the workers organization that wants him to still work even though he had an accident that doesn't allow him to do his old job…. So he has to become a secretary of some sort. I wish him well….

Freemason alien brethren

So yeah, I saw the documentary about how spaceflight to the moon was organized by different societies, one of them the masons, because we needed secret technology that aliens had left on the moon…Apparently Buzz Aldrin, a 33 level Scottish rite dude, was performing a ceremony drinking wine and eating bread with Neil Armstrong when they landed on the Moon… something about Orion’s Belt alignment crap….and to that I say…ah nuts, out of time….

Take care folks!

PS  Yeah, my wife took my money and she didn't leave any on the table for the meals on wheels people....I wonder what I'll eat today?....

Tuesday in a nutshell

Hello!

Good Tuesday to you all…

Well a fine morning we got going in my head today. Waiting for my bath person(s), then my meals on wheels….i think not only did my wife stole the two bucks I had on my desk but she also forgot to leave the money on the table…t’s ok, I will chat the old lady or man and tell them I am good for it and will pay on Thursday…

So today was supposed to be a sunny beautiful fay; is it? No, not by a long shot! In my neck of the woods it’s fairly cloudy right now… wouldn't be surprise if it rains… Thank God I went out yesterday to buy the batteries and my lotto tickets, I won’t have to go until Friday…I wonder if my cousin is back from her trip?... I have to tell her of the advancements I’ve done on the family tree..

Later folks…

PS I will apologize to my wife if she left the money on thr table for meals on wheels...

Curse you Gates

Hello!

You know, there’s was a time I was a happy camper with just my keyboard… Heck I was a computer teacher at the YMCA and I used to dis Windows 3.0 then 3.1: “Bah! It’s never going to catch!”… I was sure that Gate had a bad drinking session when he came up with the application. I was an MS-DOS dude, keyboard was the king…I mean I was programming in BASIC and shit, Gate was not going to ruin my Shangri-La!

Well, I just came back from buying batteries for my mouse because I wasn’t able to work Windows with the keyboard!! … WTF?! A whole afternoon without computer!! I had to “watch” TV! I’m putting TV in quotes because I fell asleep and I walk up in the part where they are associating masons with space flight. …???... I don’t remember doing that! They associate everything with us…Any hoot, I went to the pharmacy and bought the store off so I will not be running dry anytime soon...Dumb Windows…

Take care folks!

Spoiler alert

Hello!

So, a fitting title for this post….

So my Monday bath guy came and we were shooting the breeze when we hit the topic of good movies to see…. And, this is the second time I hear a bath person rave about this movie, so an excursion is probably a must.. the film they were both talking about is “Looper” …. Apparently is really good and Bruce does a more mature role on this film…good for him…

Now bear in mind that my bath guys are opposites apart when it comes to movies. My bath guy from Thursday is all about action: guns, incredible jumps, fire power; and the one of today is an artsy: the light reflection, the expressions, the acting… completely at opposite ends of the celluloid spectrum…So when they both concur, I have to go and see what they are talking about… Apparently there’s a very tender scene where a beautiful girl shows her breast that appeals to the animal inside of us and they want nothing more than to be caressed while she hears who’s your grandfather…I’m way pass the daddy phase and so are my bath guys…

Take care folks!

October fest

Hello!

Good day, good month people…

If it’s not my hand, it’s my keyboard! Man, I have been trying to type my blog this morning but my words keep on missing letters… Like the “hello” at the beginning of my post, I couldn't get the proper spelling until I lifted my keyboard a bit and dropped it! I think the keyboard needs some new batteries…I’ll see how difficult to change the batteries is, I may just do it myself….

So this weekend we made pumkin pie and it was a success!! Looks like little J’s dad is no longer of use to us….Also this weekend my Michael Phelps went to buy goggles and a swimming cap, $50 bucks for brand name stuff!! I would have gone to the dollar store to buy them but her mom wants nothing but the best for her future gold medalist….well guess what?? She lost them already in her first swimming practice today! I wonder if she’s getting taxed by other swimmers??.....

Take care folks!