"Sitting waiting wishing"

Well good afternoon, wild cards games are on...

So, I read what I blogged so far and it seems pessimistic to me. I am not a depressive person at all. I got my hopes and aspirations; I know that one day I will get better. Heck maybe I will even walk again.

There is hope on the horizon; you just have to be patient no matter what the doctors tell you.

The problem with people like me, my little brother nailed it right on, is that when going from being an "active" person to one whose body is shutting down you back track in your mind all the way to birth!! Let me explain.

I was a good sportsman, I played football, hockey, baseball; I played the drums, the trombone, I traveled....I did a lot! Now I`m in a wheelchair, I cannot eat without getting tired, I can only type with one hand for a certain numbers of minutes without taking a break, I can't dress myself, I can't write with a pen, I can't I can't I can't.....

Boohooohoooh! Poor fellow, he had a productive life, right?? Wrong!!!


Everything I wrote is true...that was me. I did it all; when I was in my teen years! But my mind went all the way there....When I couldn't do anything, I went back in my mind to when I was at my best. But that wasn't me.

Reality check: I was 38 when my MS started attacking my body. My life was:

A fat senior technician with 2 kids, a wife and I didn't do much. I fried my brain watching TV, I still do: I love it. I don't know if this is normal or because I wasn't doing much, my brain went back to a place where I was a hero and was doing everything right. So all this time I was sad because I stopped doing things I was able to do when I was a teen.....Wow the brain is dumb. I was looking in the wrong mirror....

It is true I get sad once in a while but I'm still that happy person I was and Sitting waiting wishing will one day pay off...