Ghost & Goblins

Hello!

Greetings people, happy Halloween…..

You know what is cool about Halloween now that we’re adults? We can buy candies for no reason whatsoever in bulk quantities….and if you’re smart about it, you get them at the last second so you can have mayor discount! I got my reserves today and I don’t know if I have enough. I got a 50 piece chocolate box, 2 bags of Tootsie rolls, 200 pieces of Jolly Ranchers candy… all of this for about $20 bucks; a steal!! I am tempted to go back and buy some more, I just heard that tomorrow little J and his folks are dropping buy… bummer… I mean I can manage little J and his brother, but electromagnetic guru guy and whatever name I gave his wife are the one that are going to be all over the candy… plus there’s the Mexican grandma, my kids, my wife… so I’m kinda fuck, I probably should have bought the 95 piece chocolate box…. Curse you Universe for having me land on such a glutton family….

Take care folks… sweet dreams, I know I will have some… hey Belgium guy, say hi to her on my behalf….

PS What if kids ring my door, I’ll have to give them some candies.. Dam I hate been Canadian with all this kindness shit…

My bizarre life and I

Hello!

Y’all are doing fine?.... good!

So I was planning to blog yesterday but life had other plans for me. It all started back in 1968 when I was born, my mother should had opted for a quick and painless death for me; instead of dragging my existence… would have been better…

Once  you go Mexican...

This is how I felt yesterday when everything that I tried to accomplish was a no go. Started with my wife freaking out about her stuff; it seems I am her secretary now and must think and do her stuff. Once that was done I wanted some “me” time to relax before I started my day. So I launched Civilization the game and  ...drum roll… Epic fail!.. It wasn’t working, so I trouble-shooted the freaking game just to find myself stressed out off my head... all of this while waiting to get my bath.  My bath girl came and went, I fixed the problem and just when I thought that I was going to finally play, the technician for my beeping lift came; and I mean beeping because it was beeping... The guy fixed my lift, 2 hours later and I get a call that I needed to go today and fixed the beeping wheelchair; and this time I meant beeping as a replacement for fornicated….So I had to cancel my bath today and travel to the CMR where they tackle the tilting mechanism and the feet rest yet again…ARGHHH! 

To top it all off, I am dreaming of affairs with twenty year old chicks…

Take care folks…

PS For the record, My wife does make me work but I also make her work; sooo, all is fine.

Bath less day

Hello!

Good Monday afternoon to y’all….

It was a gorgeous day here today. Not too cold and sunny as far as the eye could see. Obviously, I spent most of my day soaking vitamin “D” and working on the accounting part of my wife business. She’s getting there (wherever the fuck “there” is), she’s about to incorporate herself. I will have to approach here with some ideas that I have…. Proculo Inc is coming to life soon….

Now I know what you’re thinking “That’s all you did today?” Well no, I will let you know that thanks to my eldest, part of my morning was spent talking to her therapists; all 3 of them! Psychiatrist, nutritionist, Nurse,… and they talk so softly that I didn’t get anything except that she was doing better now and  she didn’t have to go there anymore. I think the longest was waiting for the transportation. And I had to cancel my bath for this meeting, I think that with a good ass whipping she would have been better faster….But hopefully she will have kids too one day, and I will be there to remind her of what we went through with her…

Salut les mecs….

Post Alimentum Anagram

Hello!

Happy Sunday to you all….

What a delicious weekend this was, with food being eaten all over the place….

Saturday: I had anticipated a family breakfast scenario so I prepared the supplies on Friday afternoon. Saturday was a maple syrupy day; we had maple flavored bacon with scramble eggs and maple syrup beans; with coffee and toasts of course… Sugar level? Super high!

It wasn't breakfast per say, but rather a brunch so we were not hungry until about 5 or 6 PM. But when our appetites awoke, they demanded something out of the ordinary: Sushi!! Do you love sushi like I love sushi? It was decadent, I think we had, if my math is correct, 120 pieces of this fine dish among us 4. The brake down was 30 pieces of sushi each one. Boston, New York, Kappa Maki, Maki Maki, California e-fucking-tc… it was a feast for the eyes and the belly! I ate my portion, but my wife ate her portion and the left over from my kids; about 15 sushi rolls more…. Plus to finish the day we had coffee with Tiramisu cake… we were all over the world’s map!

This morning? Carmen’s pancakes with peanut butter and jelly for me, maple syrup for everyone else….. Followed by muffins that are supposed to be good for you according to the chef; aka my kid.

So all in all a very foodish weekend! Wonder what next weekend will bring…

Take care folks… 

I know shit happens, but this?

Hello!

They say that when it rains it pours.

I have been listening to Michael Bolton SINCE YESTERDAY! Quietly I may add..

“I could hardly believe it

When I heard the news today

I had to come and get it straight from you

They said you were leavin'

Someone's swept your heart away….Tell me how am supposed to live without you

Now that I've been lovin' you so long….”

She must have read the blog, she must have had enough. If I could only stop her, make her realize that what we have is real. She wasn't the best person but then again who is. She tolerated me, that’s what counts.. If you can read my blog: Stay, please stay. My life won’t be the same. I promise I will delete my blog and become a better person. I guess you don’t care about me, you found something better, you found someone else. When she talked to me, was she lying all this time? We've been together forever; I confided on her stuff that no one else knows. I was so used to her I stopped counting the years we were a pair. What now?! I’m too old for this shit, now I am alone. I want the world to know that no one will ever take her place; if you’re listening, please know that if you change your mind I will be right here where you left me.

….wonder who my new nurse will be???….

“…How am I supposed to carry on

When all that I've been livin' for is gone…”

In a land far far away lives a....(you finish it)

Hello!

I’ve been busy, hope you’re all fine…Is what I should say but my life is same old same old. …but I do have some news on the mobility front…

I have been working with a therapist who is in charge of a program to adapt cars. Long story short, I will probably get an adapted car within the year; YAAAAAY! The lady works with you in finding the right vehicle for you and then submits a quote to the government who pony up the cash for the adaptation of the car…. I am getting my report this Friday and submitting it to the government next week. Then I wait, and wait, and then wait some more…until one day, about mid-July, I get the go ahead and get the cash to adapt the mini-van that was proposed by the therapist; we’re talking about another 3 month wait till Doge has a sale and I can buy one. But I’m there folks, I will be mobile again: NYC here I come!

So as you can see, not much happening on my end; oh yeah, I am getting divorce too. That’s big too so I guess I am kinda busy….

Take care folks..

PS Please don’t tell my wife as I wanted to be a surprise; kinda like “Welcome to Dumpville, Population: YOU” type of thing...

I'm cooler than cool...

Hello!

Good day all….

Wednesday/ Thursday, I had a musical moment with my kids. I showed them that you didn't need fancy electronic gadgets to put out a classical song that still rocks today. I’m talking about 25 or 6 to 4 people! A master piece created by Robert Lamm from the group Chicago. They were (my kids) impressed that such an old song kicked ass today; “it rocks dad” was their exact words. It was an eye opening experience for them and wanted to know more about the song: What’s with the bizarre lyrics. Was it a drug induce song from the 70s they have heard much about? Aliens (yes they went there)? So I had to explain to them that the song was a quirky little tune about somebody that cannot fall asleep at 3:34AM-3:35AM…. 25 or 26 to 4AM; it became 25 or 6 (for 26) to 4….. now you know too…

Take care folks…

PS I’m super cool…They found more respect for their father the drummer....

PS PS Go ahead click on the link... I love that song!

Out of sight, out of heart..

Hello!

A gloomy kind of day here where I live, makes you want to lay down and rot away… I hate moods like today, everything is somber and I see no way out. That is until you wonder around the pantry and find a stash of goodies that you didn't know were there. Last time something like this happened I took a fit against my wife and kids because they were deliberately hiding stuff from me; now I  am to blame because I buy stuff and forget that I had bought it for me. Age I guess, but it’s cool; I get to have something scrumptious when I least expected……

I was seeing pic from summer camp and hoped that this year passes fast so that I can go there again. I miss this year’s group. They were all a nice kids that I will probably never see again; I miss them much. I wish them all well and good luck in whatever they end up doing. I feel bad because I wanted to stay in touch with them but they took down the wrong email, it is  cbgmtl@videotron.ca not cbgltl@videotron.can oh well, the Universe and its reasons….

That’s my life, blaming the Universe whenever I can….

Take care folks…

Alive and kicking..

Hello!

Good day to you all…

It was (and still is) a busy week for me. Monday was Thanksgiving Canada, yesterday went to check out adaptive cars with my CMR lady and my wife, today they fixed my chair and discuss among them on how to solve the tilting device mechanism issue –the thing is a dud going kaput all the time-. Thanks to this conversation lead them to get an engineer to look at the issue on Friday, making me busy this Friday. So I am book solid until Friday… and I wanted an easy week…

Other than that nothing out of the ordinary happening with my life. I still think of summer camp and wish to be there again. In a couple of weeks I will be attending the chamber musical event with my girls and that 6 million dollar Stradivarius, here is hoping that the girls don’t break it. As I mentioned before, the event is being held at my old Alma matter University of Montreal and I can’t wait to step out on the town again…. Any hoot, best be going. Goto practice my listening skills and play some classical musik….

Later people…

Had to be South Dakota...

Hello!

Hope you are all fine….

I was not going to blog this weekend; take it slow for a change. But yesterday I had a weird dream that I was going to file under “antibiotic induce “ propaganda, but then read the meaning of it and basically said “WTF!”. The dream meaning was right on the nose: Lepers and Leprosy means that the inner you (soul) and your body are at war with each other on doing the right thing. Fak me! People, there is an inner battle going on with myself right now that I have to tackle or more than one person is going to get hurt....On a lighter note, apparently I'm going to summer camp again; according to my dream...so, yay!

Stupid lepers from South Dakota….

PS Maybe is just The Walking Dead talking to me...

PS PS I could also be sick.... better see the doctor.

I miss you Montreal....

Hello!

Miss me?

Well it was weird! I haven’t been in that neighborhood in eons. Plus, the guy who organized my presence had it all wrong. We were not going to eat in a quick and easy grub joint!? We were going to feast at a fancy bistro that basically served steak and fries; and it was GOO_OD! Walnut salad followed by a medium rare entrecote with Dijon sauce…. 

This was a joint that my old work buddies and bosses attended all the time. This is not a fast food place, no. This place you sit down, drink wine and reminisce about life and where you and they are today. I booked an hour and a half for the bus where I should have booked two and a half hours. I had a good time seeing my old bosses (3 out of 4) founders of the company I used to work for. I also was taken aback by the presence of old colleagues who jackassly remind me about my fail attempt to perform stand-up comedy…They asked me to call them up if I was going to do it again, I told them that there was a video tape that my sick wife had recorded and that was somewhere in my video library.

I think I want that video tape to be play at my funeral….

Take care folks….

PS Don't worry sweetheart, I haven't forgotten you... If ever I hit it big I will take you there....

PS PS Kudos on setting me up this morning, I had so many winks from women while in Montreal... I think I blushed...

Working my day away.....

Hello!

Happy almost Saturday!!

So preparing for the weekend?.... We have a 3 day weekend here in the great white north. Thanksgiving!!! Not that I celebrate it really, but it is always fun to have the day off; what am I talking about, I always have it off. But I am jumping the gun on the weekend here. Starting tomorrow I will be hitting downtown Montreal. It’s been forever since I have been there. Going to have lunch with a couple of ex-colleagues. So we will meet round noonish at the old Montreal Trust shopping mall; at least that was the plan last week. They better tell since I must reserve my bus today.

My day today has been completed already. I already had my bath and I am currently awaiting my lunch. From then on I will probably work on some cockamamie theory that I will forward to Stephen Hawking just to be emailed back with a “get a life loser”….

Tata folks…

PS Belgium is back! I miss you sooo much....

I'm the man!!

Howdy folks!

Hope your day’s as bright as your pearly white!

So I am feeling the pressure here. My reputation is being tested by my blog as well as by my daughter's high estimate of me when talking about me to her friends… “He’s cool”….

First of all welcome to my wonderland Belgium, I feel I know you and have fallen in love with you before; but I could be wrong. In any case, Helaba or Bonjour depending on the region you are from.

As for my daughter, she told me yesterday that she had a new

friend and they were getting to know each other when she (my kid) told her new friend that her dad was disabled and that he was cool….?!... How do I compete against that expectation of me? I know I’m good looking and have impeccable elocution skills (I have been told that when I speak, I make people wonder on the color of my soul), but what exactly is cool to my daughter? At this point I think it’s a gimmick to get what she wants from me because this morning she asked me for money to buy lunch.

What’s a cool dad to do?

Take care folks…

Mongolian dreams.

Hello!

Happy thoughts out to you people…shit, if I cannot be happy, I will wish it to somebody else….

I had a bad night, fell asleep till 2AM, thinking shit and a half, trying to come up with answers to questions that will probably never be answered; or events that may never happen. So obviously, this morning I woke up moody; thinking back about last night and coming up to the conclusion that I live in a safe, secure country that is boring and stupid!...yes, boring and stupid are keywords here people.

Canada....

You all have heard about Netflix, that on demand movie and TV provider? Well apparently here in Canacrap they are thinking of taking it out of service because A) they don’t have enough Canadian content and B) Not enough French shows…. Really?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Give us good TV and we will tune in!  Oh and by the way, that company doesn’t pay taxes and in this country where everyone must pay the piper it is a sacrilege that must be rectified…. You don’t know how bad I want to move out of this place, go live somewhere in Mongolia or something…..

Any hoot, ignore my bad mood people; it’s just growing pains…

Take care folks…

PS don't get me wrong, I love Canada and all its crazy canucks but Mongolia is calling me more and more...

On the news today...

Hello!

Greetings to you all…

I wanted to blog on Thursday but the ophthalmologist put some funky eye drops that caused my eyes to be fully dilated for about 8 hours. If I would have been stopped at a drug screening area they would have busted me for driving intoxicated…. In a nutshell, no diabetes in my eyes but one of my optical nerves is synonym of “fucked up” and therefore I must have a more complicated exam soon… all I heard was “no diabetes in the eyes”, basically giving me the green light to indulge myself on sugary treats….yeah….

I went out today to purchase triple “A” batteries for my keyboard and boy are people acting like Sunday drivers. I almost hit 2 Christian folks and almost got run over by 2 drivers… life is scary; you never know when you’re going to kick the bucket…

Any hoot couple of appointment this week and next and here’s hoping that all works out before winter starts…

Take care folks..

The Taco Bell theory...

Hello!

October is here, enjoy it….

So what is on the agenda today…..

Well I was going to talk about the debate that took place this morning between my wife, my kid and me: cats (animals) have lips. I am, obviously, in the correct side of the debate; animals don’t have lips. Well the Internet claims the opposite… stupid kids…

Ariana is there somehwere...

So after resolving the great lip debate of 2014, I am now ready to tackle the great Taco Bell conspiracy…. Ariana Grande….

Is it just me or does anyone else thinks that Ariana Grande should be a dish that Taco Bell carries? I could see myself going into a TB joint and asking for an “Ariana Grande hold the pickles and with extra cheese please”. I believe that this has helped the carrier of this artist as there are a shit load of people that like TB. And apparently I am not the only one who thinks that Ariana Grande should be related to food, she could also be a large coffee beverage pushed by Starbucks according to my oldest…. Smart kid, this makes sense….

Obviously my wife claims that we were both losers for wasting time on such idiotic ideas…..but as she was leaving the room she mumbled that Ariana Grande made her think of a clothe detergent…???!!!..WTF indeed! I asked my wife to elaborate and explain her hypothesis to which she replied that in her native country there is a clothe detergent name Ariel and that the name Ariana made her think of this product..

she’s crazy folks, just ignore her…

Take care people..

PS In no way is this post meant to diminish the talent of Ariana Grande, no. This post is just to make her realize the potential market that she could have if she was to join forces with Taco Bell...Mucho Grande...

PS PS I can see the hate mail coming my way...