The lost envelope got me there for a reason...

Hello!

Good day all…

So last time my post was dedicated to Cookie butter; a product long overdue on the face of this earth. Now something strange happened this past weekend. My wife went to our local food shopping place and on her way out she found and envelope on the floor. Well, being the mother Theresa that she is, she gave me the task to find out to whom it belong to. Took me 20 minutes, it was a T4 that belong to someone that worked at our food place, so I gave her a call to let her know I was returning the envelop to the supermarket and I would leave it at the customer service desk. Yesterday I had the chance to wheel myself to the shopping center to drop the envelope and on the way I realized that I could grab some more of that cookie butter… and I did… as I am grabbing a flask of this celestial product, the manager approaches me and start asking me if I like the product. I of course tell him that it is subliminal and that I came for another one; I also asked him what the real price of such a fine product was going to be once the promo gig was done (right now the price is $1 dollar per jar). He told me that they were not going to carry the product, that it was a liquidation of some sort. Why the beep did he tells a guy with OCD and $20 dollars in his pocket this? So I went all survivalist on the product and bought like 8 jars; I bought so many that I gave some to my mother-in-law and I was going to give some to little J’s mom but they had already left my crib; so I got like six left now and waiting for an apocalypse to happen so I can start eating some of it…..

I’m telling you, things always happen for a reason….. 

Genie in a bottle

Hello…

I don’t blog about important stuff on my blog; no, I’m an egocentric bastard and like to talk about me. But yesterday I stumbled onto a magical product that I haven’t seen since Nutella. This product was the discovery of my wife, who on her endless search for “something sweet” to have with our daily 8PM coffee, found this product. Cookie butter!!! You know when you’re preparing a batch of cookies and you are left with bowls with leftover batter and you basically lick the living hell out of them? Well, some smart company came up with the idea of marketing something similar; and it is good!! This morning I had pancakes with melted cookie butter (my idea) instead of honey or maple syrup or PB&J… it was awesome folks…I now have 3 products in life that I would be stranded on an island with: Oreo cookies, Nutella and Cookie butter… with water and food and WIFI and TV and whatever I need to make my stay a comfortable one…

Just saying…

Take care folks

PS I feel like I'm leaving a product behind...

Who's your daddy?

Hello!

Suck it USA!... with the out most respect…

Hey, stay away from hockey, it’s our thing dudes! Stick to baseball from now on; now watch how a pro steels candy from a baby... I, of course, am explaining my Friday silence. In the morning we were sticking it to the queen and as of noon we were beating uncle Sam in a sport that is meant for men and not kids…just teasing you America, I love you; but you’re keeping Bieber as you lost.

Take care homies…

Addicted

Hello…

Good day folks. Kinda being there but no there these days; off the grid type of….

I don’t write much, lots has to do with my illness but I would say that the major problem seems to be with a depression that I probably are going through; a Civilization type of depression. I got hook on the freaking game after I adjusted the level of difficulty I was playing at and I won my first game. Now all I do is kick ass left and right, but yesterday my daughter brought me back from cloud nine where I had been residing and informed me that there was more to life than to be playing a low level of Civilization: A normal level… Gad no! I was hoping this wasn`t going to happen but I guess it has to; I need to level up the game to see if by some fluke I can outperform my opponents. Such is life people, I need to see if I am as good as I seem to be…. This is the reason why I have stopped doing life stuff: Farmville 2, Ninja Wars, eating, blogging…. Anything, I am hook on this game and must play it until 3:30 when my family starts to come in; soon I won`t give a hoot about them either…

Take care folks….

Sunday's paper

Hello…

Happy Sunday people…

It’s a beautiful day out there but a real crappy one for wheelchairs; I can’t even get to the sidewalk. I know, I was out there for a brief second. I wanted to change my state of mind and my mood; glad to say that there’s nothing like Mother Nature to put perception back in your life… Apparently next weekend is going to be nice with +5c temperatures…. Can’t wait for winter to end….How bout you, how is life treating you?

I finally gave up on my farm, it was getting to redundant and I got tired. Also, I had a freaky dream about an ex-college of work I haven’t seen since ages; I’m talking about 10 years when she left because got canned…. In this dream she died and I was accused of the murder but cleared after they did more investigating….weird shit…

Any hoot… have a good one people…

Seeing the Olympics..

Hello… 

Good day folks…

It is an Olympic viewing type of day, so I recommend to those that are going to be seeing the games at night tonight… stay away from this post; you've been warned!

So I was day dreaming my usual end of the world emergency plan, when I decided to turn on the TV and watch the Olympics; HOCKEY! The USA was playing the Russian and it was a close game; they went to extra time and then: Shootout… oh yeah, Russian are going to wipe the floor with the US!... But it didn't happen, the US played a pretty good game; so much so that they went to a shootout. WTF people! I remember the Russian being a superpower in Hockey. I remember Tretiak and the red army, these were people that inspired respect! Now it looks like they can barely skate they are so tired. Needless to say that the US won the game with the accurate shooting of Oshie who did shot after shot for team USA. It was a disappointing game… just like Patrick Chan losing yesterday…

Take care folks…

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo

Good day folks…

Today is another one of those days where everything is happening to me. In a couple of hours I will be visited by my bath guy who will probably bring stories on how the last girl he dated wasn't really the one and how he wish he could get the perfect girl and blah blah blah… dude, stop it! Apparently they have passed the word around and you are considered a “persona non grata” with all of the opposite sex and I’m almost certain that the gay community is aware of your existence making them put some distance away from you.

After my bath guy I am getting my male nurse come on over and do his thing. Today is a big day because not only will he change the wound dressings but he will change the catheter prior to patching me up. I think he is also doing a visit to determine if I need antibiotics again… seems I’m getting infections left and right…Sucks to be sick people….

Then my meals on wheels is coming and my day is done….ooo the everyday hazel….

Take care folks…

It's a doggy dog world...

Hello…

G’day mates…

So yeah, I remember now why I gave up the Civilization game way back when; I suck….

Hear me out here, yesterday I was playing a nice session of the game making my civilization advance, my population and the world loved me.. I had become allies with Great-Brittan, France and the Persian Empire. I was doing pacts with them left and right; I am doing well! Then out of the blue, Queen E from Great-Brittan decides that my civilization was as important as an elephant turd… Okay bitch, bring it! So I started to get my troops ready for an epic elimination of Great-Brittan when suddenly France and the Persians declare war on me too.. I was being bullied! They were all out to get me! I got so mad I deleted the game I was playing and vowed not to play the game again; I’m going back to FB and its friendlier game Ninja Wars…. I hate Sid…

Take care folks…

I swear, sometimes I wish...

Hello…

Good day all…

A quick hello before I immerse myself into my fictional worlds of mayhem and suffering. I already tended my farm and fighting ninja world has become obsolete as I can stop fantasizing about being a ninja and being a real one with my Civilization war. Mind you, the game seems to be different with the one I played with eons ago, and like always I don’t really listen to my advisers about whatever they have to say; I just kick ass…

So yesterday after a hard day of building an empire, we sat down for a taco leftover meal; it always happens after a get-together at my place, but I’m not bitching. Back on track here, so we’re sitting down and after eating we decided to watch the Olympics. So what do you think the new Canadians want to watch to solidify their allegiance to their new (old) country? The rock game, what’s it called again?! Yes, curling! Dear Lord, why?... why must this game be an Olympic event, let alone a game!? With respect to the fans and the “athletes” of this tedious event, it’s like playing marvels but at a really slow pace…. I was bored out of my skull; they on the other hand were all hyped about it… I think it is I who is the problem in this world… that’s the type of “sport” where I don’t need a chamomile tea to come my nerves because it is too stressing….now on to tackle rumors about Obama, Beyoncé and me having an affair.

Take care folks…

Am I really here?...

Hello…

I’m doing this because I know myself and it will be a cold day in hell before you hear from me unless I do it now…

It’s been reported to me that I come through choppy and I sound very far away, yesterday I went for a stroll to the shopping center and bought a telephone set…. Cool, I had birthday money to spend so I blew off some looneys… While buying this essential toy I also happen to stumbled on a game I used to play when I was younger and was planning world domination:  Civilization… long story short, I installed it on my computer and it was hard in the beginning but now my fingers have recovered their memory and I am once again hooked on that game. So F-you all you Facebook games, I’m doing world domination now, it will be a very cold day in hell before I farm again… luckily it appears tomorrow will be such a day with temperatures hitting the -28c according to my bath guy who’s brain I’ve just fried with the concept of Quantum Mechanics….

Take care folks; see you in the trenches….

PS I just had lunch at 3:30pm...

Yay 46!

Hello…

Good day kind folks, hope you’re having an awesome day…

So birthday’s culminated with a pancakes breakfast yesterday morning done by my daughter; she’s the cook of my family that one…

For my birthday, it was an awesome food fest! We had 2 types of tacos, chicken and "al pastor"(wife's favorite); we had my wife’s legendary “tres leches” cake and to top it all off, we had sangria. The sangria has become a masterpiece at my wife’s event, she really has that thing worked out… Oh, we also had 2 tequila bottles donated by my dog’s mother-in-law…thank you Louiselle… it was a good old time I tell you. My wife ate like 20 tacos all in all, I had like 10, my brother, as skinny as he is now, kept up with me, my other brother too; and to add to the crowd, my nephews and daughters were pigging out nicely. I think the cherry on top was when my sister-in-law got hammered, with my wife, on the 2 tequila bottles we had; she’s a nasty drinker that one. She was royally pissed because she didn't know how her jacket that she was wearing had gotten so dirty with food and beverage from throughout the night; she had to be driving home she was so gone…. I wouldn’t like to be my brother that night as apparently she picks up fight for stuff that happened years ago when she’s drunk…. It was an awesome night….

Take care folks….

Birthday chalupa...

Hello…

Good something to you…

So here I am on the threshold of my twilight years and I finally get a compliment!

Every year that has gone by I have had to fight with different people to assert my age. Whether it is my wife, my mother or my daughter, there is always someone adding 1 or 2 extra years to the count. My mother I can excuse, she’s at an age where things are forgotten constantly; but to have my better half doubt my word, let alone my child!?... Seriously, they are both not the best mathematicians out there but subtraction is a basic math operation. Now I know my wife gets all this compliments on how young she looks and how diligently she takes care of her dad[me], fer crying out loud she got carded because they didn't believe she was over 18, and maybe she’s starting to believe what she hears… as for my daughter,  she is borderline failing maths so I don’t really care how old she says I am; although one day a teacher told her that he had seen her with her grandfather[me, again] and she had to correct him and let him know it was her dad….

Today I got the surprised of my life when the meals on wheels lady asked me if I had received the birthday card they had sent me, I said yes and proceeded to give her thanks. She then added that it must be fun being 35; I think I blushed and I told her that I was turning 46 to which she added that it was still young. HA! So there you pathetic ex-Mexicans, 2014-1968 is 46! I am not turning 47 or 48; no I still got a couple of decades before I’m old…. They should make math part of the Canadian citizenship exam….

Take care folks…

PS And yes, we are having a Mexican continental chow down this Saturday so yaaay....

Opportunity knocking

Hello…

 Good day all…

Just finish getting my bath from my Wednesday guy… Nothing major to talk about except about how his dog was doing seeing that he just had to dish out $4000 smackers to save its life and what we would do, as manly man, should a rich sick baster would offer  2 million dollars for a one nighter with us. I found it odd that it was a very specific number given here, kinda like somebody had already approached him with the proposal. I told him that I would be honest with my wife and reassure her that it was nothing personal, just business. In other words, I would take one for the team. Him on the other hand, seems to me more like if he was saving his virginity for a special guy… I don’t know folks, it comes a time where you basically don’t give a hoot anymore and 2 million dollars would buy a lot of margaritas for you to forget such an ordeal…

It’s amazing what is said in these bath sessions…

Take care folks..

PS we also talked about Marilyn Manson, baseball bats and veterinarians; obviously not in the same sentence...

PS It could also be the weather talking here seeing that we are getting a mini snowstorm right now..

Paying my dues

Hello…

People, very rarely am I impressed with things that happen in this life. Furthermore, when I say I don’t like so and so my mind is made up; for life. Yesterday folks was one of those times when old Chuck here had to say “I was wrong about that…”

You see like every football fan out there, I was watching the game for the sake of the game; and at my side, literally, my other half was watching it too. She was seeing it for the game, she’s a sport nuts, but she was also waiting for half time and Bruno Mars…I hate that guy, or so I thought. When the half time show started she was all hyped about it; me, I really didn't give a hoot… or so I thought, again… But then at the start of the song there was a drum solo… not bad I said to myself, I wonder who’s playing; and as I turned to see the TV screen I saw it was Bruno Mars. Fak that, it’s not true! But it was; the guy was doing a genuine drum solo routine!! I think I even heard a paradiddle in there somewhere! I was impressed, I like what I was hearing…I haven’t heard a drum solo like that in a while….  So I had to say it to my wife: I was wrong about Bruno Mars wife. He’s a drum brother and besides his fancy footwork, he can sing too…

Any hoot, just doing justice here…

Take care folks…

PS I hope my drum gods -Neil Peart (Rush), Phil Collins (Genesis), Chester Thompson (Genesis) and Buddy Rich- aren't mad at me….

A little Illuminati note

Hello…

Good day to you all…

So yeah, what does a Satan worshiper like me do with all his spare time? Cause according to my kid’s friend I worship Satan because I was a Freemason once…. I worship him every day and plot world domination while drinking a nice cool Pepsi soda; cause they are in this too…Yeah, apparently all I have to do is type Freemasons and Illuminati in Google and the truth about the satanic craft is revealed…. To be perfectly honest, I don’t recall strippers during our ceremonies; I don’t think I would have left the craft if this was true. As for world domination, I can’t excuse the craft for that, I’m pretty sure that one or two of the brothers are into Ninja Wars like me and we are but a step away from conquering that world….. Dumb kids, last time misinformation ran amok six millions plus lost their lives…

Take care folks…

PS Besides worshiping Satan and doing Ninja wars I also like to farm my land as to become farm leader of the world….

PS PS All of this started because she's doing a presentation on Freemasons as instructed by her teacher; so if I get persecuted I will blame the teaher...

For ever young

Hello…

Good Super Bowl Sunday to you all…

What an end to a Saturday yesterday night….. 2 beers, 5 or 6 glasses of sangria, 1 bottle of Smirnoff popper of some sort and a shit load of fine Chinese fried food…. I think I gave the number to St-Hubert’s restaurants to my bus lady… something about being a music producer and how I could make her a star…urgh, feeling dead this morning…

All of this excessive drinking and eating was to celebrate my sister-in-law’s 50^th birthday anniversary… it was great! Since she’s a karaoke dj, we had a session of singing and reminiscence of the old days….made me realised that I’m not as young as I use to be and that a fresh batch of karaoke singers is on the isle ready to pick up where we left off… my kids and nephews were singing their head off!! Although still very rustic and with a lot of work needed in their approach to singing, they will make a fine batch of bar cruising people one day. My youngest sang “My Way” with me, I was choking folks….such a fine party, it was fun, it’s just the beginning since my oldest brother will be 50 this summer, I expect it to be a super party this coming July….

Take care folks….