Radio Drama

Hello!

So I’m back from the CMR, chair fix and all. The fun part was getting there. I was on the special bus when the radio started going off with communications from a driver who couldn't find his customer; he had looked in all the possible doors, A, B, C, D and E. No he wasn't to be found and he was rushing because in a couple of hour he was going to be “07” and Monsieur Guzman wasn’t going to be picked up…???!!!!... I think I heard my name?!... the other bus driver briefly looked at me and reassure me that even if he was going “07” I was going to be picked up…I asked the guy what the code meant and he told me its meaning,  it was the end of the other driver’s shift… I told him that it was probably best if they stopped using names when such a situation arouse, he agreed with me and soon started code jiving with “Eloise”…. Now I wonder what that means…any hoot, I’m back…

Take care folks…

Repair week

Hello!

MOoorning!!

I am writing now as I don’t know what time I’ll be back from my meeting at the CMR where they promise that they have figure out why my tilting device has been breaking every other month; I think that since December I have gone through 4 mechanisms…. More than with the other wheelchair that I had for several years… I will keep my fingers crossed…it seems this week is a repair week, yesterday they fixed my diabetic issues, today the chair and tomorrow the dishwasher! Wow maybe they can repair my body and make me walk; hey, it could happen…

Mexicans!

As I was saying, yesterday they show me the right way and the right place where  to put on the insulin; the nurse yesterday was a touchy kind, she would advance theories and would finish them of by touching my leg, my arm, my hand… then she said she would call back as she noticed that going to their offices was a real pain for somebody like me that moves around in a wheelchair…fer crying out loud woman! I bought you a freaking key bowl, just put the keys there when you’re done and you will never lose them!!  

Take care folks...

PS I think that if a genie showed up I would ask, as a wish, for my wife never to lose her keys...

I lost another talent...

Hello!

Good day people….

So, had a nice weekend?... I had a blast! Yesterday was outing day: eating, shopping, movies… it was good! Plus, it was the first day where I go out without a sweater or a coat, it was +20c; the sun was out, not too cold or too warm… it was a good day… today is another gorgeous day out there but I will be spending it at the CLSC for medical exams; I hate wasting time!...

You know, I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again…. Age really affect your eating skills… oh, because it is a skill to gulp down 4 Big Macs or devour 5 breakfast meals from McD’s… let alone guzzle liters of beers without pondering the results…. At the buffet yesterday, I manage the strength to have 1 dish, 1 beer and a fortune cookie; of whose message I forgot already… I came back and I had to rest because I was so full… and the families beside us were doing 2,3, even 5 plates without a care in the world… this getting old thing isn't really working out for me…any hoot, I will see you tomorrow…

Take care folks…

And, we're back...

Hello!

Yes, well I went from being a hero to becoming a zero in 2 secs flat!

Yesterday I was feeling rand with the honors bestowed upon my kid, even her cousin knew about it because they had talked about Hanna’s painting at school. And just seconds ago I reinforce my believe on the golden rule (that I will never doubt again): don’t ever trust a woman when she talks…

This morning before she (my other half) left yelling on how crappy the dishwasher was and how it didn’t work properly, how it was less than a year and how she should have never gotten married with me… blah blah blah. I obviously shaken by the whole thing, called the company up and gave them shit before they even picked up the phone… I’m saying stuff about their mother and how I will burn them and then kill them, and on how my name is Carlos Guzman father of the artist Hanna and… I was interrupted by this little voice asking me if I had cleaned the filter..??... I obviously claim visual disability and complete ignorance of such topic… I informed them that I would take care of it basically apologetic hung up the phone … I added a word to their mother comment and went on with my life pondering on it and the mistakes I must now live with… I will now give shit to little J’s dad as he should have mention this whey back when he installed the freaking dishwasher..

Take care folks

Broken rainbow

Hello!

Good day to you all…

Oh what a night, I thought it was going to be a small affair but it wasn't so. Everyone  except yours truly, was dressed to kill.. There was a freaking lineup and I had priority walk through because my daughter was a laureate of that night’s event. It was a very high profile night where only people that had been formerly invited could assist… so there was no De Niro, no Jolie, no Obama to be found; if you weren't on the list, good luck… It was really cool event with wines, cheeses, apple juice, grape juice, pâté de foie, everything that high society eats and drinks; and then…. The event!

Prizes were giving left and right all art uglier one after the other until.. “The future

artists” segment of the soirée! They started giving prizes to a third grade kid, then a fifth grade students, then they pause for a second and mentioned that the following award was going to be given to a young artist who’s haunting and mesmerizing  lines and colors impacted the judges so much that her work was going to be frame, expose during the 3 days of the exposition; afterwards the work of art was going to be given back to the school where the artist had emanated from…. That artist was my daughter! She was happy that she had won and took in the night as it happened: there were picture taken for the local newspaper, with the Mayor, with the high profile artist, with the winners of that night…I was impressed… Kudos Hanna  you deserved it… BTW, the painting is called broken rainbow(arc-en-ciel brisé), her mom, sister and dad are extremely proud of her….

Take care folks…

PS I got a feeling is the first night of many nights....

Picasso

Hello!

So there I was, minding my own business, when suddenly my phone rings…. It’s odd, I said to myself, I got all the calls I was expecting already; wonder who it is….

Well I got the surprise of  a lifetime, my little girl was entered in a contest of drawing by her school, and she was one of the finalist…cool! But this is at school level, right? No, the city of Brossard held a contest and city hall selected her drawing and 4 more for an exposition tonight where they will chose the winner! F_ME! This is from the kid that very rarely says a pip! It’s always a challenge for us to get anything from her: “How was school?”, “How are you doing?” ,  “Anything fun happened today?”…the answers are always “Fine”, “No” or “Yes”. I wasn’t aware of this contest! And my wife was told in a cryptic fashion about it… so at this time I don’t know what Picaso has drawn that has catapulted her into local fame; I guess I will find out tonight…

Take care folks….

Caution: Weekend ahead

Hello!

Good day folks…

Well I’ve been doing things!....yeah, I've been keeping busy  besides my strolls when weather permits it, I've have made it a choice to work my brain off so not only do I look pretty but also be smart… I am taking math training online…I’m doing stuff I had not done in high-school because I was stuck in a math level where all I did was statistic… I personally blame this for my addiction to lotteries and other betting games… so I am currently doing algebra and I believe since I have so much free time on my hands, I will hit college level within 6 months… my goal in life is to have a smart conversation with Stephen Hawking where his concepts on black holes won’t put me to sleep; no matter how interesting they are…

So this weekend we are doing the usual sortie with my family: shopping, eating, movie.. and for this weekend movie I would like to take them to see “Olympus has fallen”; I've heard good things about the movie, besides any movie where Morgan Freeman is rocks!  You can bet your sweet ass that “Oblivion” is next….. any hoot, back to algebra and the unlocking of the Universe…

Take care folks…

The slow flow of Mondays...

Hello!

Gorgeous day outside folks in fact, it’s going to be a gorgeous week.. sunny and upper teens as temperature…Wish my automatic door was ready so I could venture outside at will..

So my new desk is super cool, I have lifted it up and put 4 blocks of wood under the legs so I can get my wheelchair under and I noticed that I get less tired….so I’m happy I can surf the web more and blog a little longer, heck I might even start writing in Spanish again…Ole!

Take care folks...

PS I can't upload a sound clip from my voice when I have a cold and when I don't!! What the hell, my post is ruined...

Monday's mayhem...

Hello!

So I am holding a grudge against my dog…

You see, this Thursday night she was sniffing the Nintendo Wii and she accidentally pushed the CD eject button and out came my Animal Crossing. She was barking at the game console until my daughter inserted the CD back. Well now it (Wii) doesn't work anymore… I know what you’re saying: “move on pops..” yeah well, it’s the only game I can still play with my working hand! I know it’s pretty lame and there’s nothing more than I would like than to see Mario with a high caliber weapon kicking ass! A flame thrower for example, I would love to see this guy burn Luigi to a toast! He’s the lamest of the brothers, plus I personally think that he is porking Mario’s girlfriend, Peach! If I was him (Mario), I would go over to Luigi’s house yell “it’s me, Mariooo..” and burn the house to a crisp; I’m sure that Luigi will be there giving a power star to Princess Peach the bitch…all I can do is hope that the Nintendo guru hear me out and implement my ideas… I also have to find another Animal Crossing game.. and I need to get a life…

Some good the Mormons did for me, I have become more violent…

Take care folks…

To the Queen...

Hello!

So I came back from church and it was okay, it’s completely different than the Catholic Church… it reminded me of masonic meetings, with the exception of the booze; not the Mormons they don’t drink, the Masons, we get hammered and toast the Queen at will…it was an enlightening afternoon of speeches where everyone who talked cried his or her ass off. They wanted me to stay longer and partake in after services discussion of the Bible or something along those lines, but I couldn't stay as my bus was schedule to pick me up at 2:15…and I don’t know what they will talk about, let’s hope is something logical and not something that I must believe in because somebody said so, not gonna work with me… in general they were very friendly people and very kind; lots of young folks unlike the Catholic Church where the stench of death hangs over your head like a bad tamale...

That’s my eekend folks…

Church Sunday.. I know, right?!

Hello!

Well wish me luck, on my way to the Mormon Church. Let’s hope I don’t melt when crossing the threshold of the church’s door…I have a tendency to crisp…

So, one of the most blasphemous things happened to me today, and it involved one of my daughters… I asked for my weekly lottery ticket just to make sure, 101%, that I hadn't win anything and she responded with an “it's in the garbage..” answer…. WTF!?? Doesn't she knows that I would kill for my ticket? That I would put her up for adoption if it was required?...at least I didn't win anything, but this means I will have to do another lucky selection play… I am almost there people, I predict big winnings within the next 20 years; only 18 more to go….

Happy Sunday folks…. 

It's not the pyramids but....

Hello!

So what do you do when you’re bored? You coordinate!! I wasn't busy and my daughters “had” time so, my eldest set up my “new” desk and it’s beautiful (wife approval pending)! She did everything, including connecting the cables in a neatly fashion. I even got a few smart aleck remarks on she knew where the cables connected and what a USB was…I know, I’m still attached umbilicaly to my Wi-Fi and printer; call me old fashion…but the results are great! I am impressed by the quality of my managing skills; okay the work force was critical to the work, but they could have never succeed in such a brilliant master chef piece….

Before

Now

Take care folks…

Mormonic wet dreams

Hello!

I got a "rhume", feel like crap.. so much so I had to cancel the church thing tomorrow… All this aside, I had to go to the shopping center and buy dog and cat food; but I’m dead so I’m going back to bed….

Tomorrow my girls are going to the sugar shack, I cannot go because stupid bus doesn't go that far; thus the idea of going to church… but that seems to have gone down the drain and I guess it’s sitting pretty with my better half. For some reason she’s afraid I might become a hard core church going guy and leave her.. it’s not me people, I am a normal schlep that believes in being god, but hates fundamentalist… too much of something is bad for you…besides, I can’t wait to hose my wife and kids with holly water, maybe they will melt… alleluia folks, I have seen the LED light…

Take care sinners…

Police action

Hello!

Good day people… I’m sick!

Got the cold that my little one brought and it was picked up by my wife, then my oldest and now me…and I got the Mormons coming later…plus I have to go to Church on Sunday…oh well life goes on…

So, woke up this morning and POW! There’s a police action in Boston regarding the capture of the Chechens brothers that allegedly bombed the Marathon. Wow, nice going law enforcement agencies, that was fast. What has happened so far is one of them was shot and killed and the other guy is on the lamb… I’m still listening to CNN and their live coverage of the whole situation….hate I have to stopped to listen to the Mormon books so I look smart when the girl comes…

Take care folks…

Be gentle with him...

Hello!

Hey, my little one has a stalker/admirer/boyfriend…. She thinks she knows who it is but at this point the teachers are involved and they want to get to the bottom of it; worries me! I remember when I was a kid I once got a love letter from a girl named Angela, I was to busy being cool and had no time for her! Poor girl, never saw her again after the 4^th grade; I think she became a nun because I refuse to correspond her love for me… yeah, I can be a dog sometimes… But my kid’s friend are all exited and worried for her, they are the ones who told the teacher who insisted she brought the letter so he and his helper could find out who it was. I hope they get to the bottom of this… I really hope my kid let down gently her admirer as our blood line can do damage to the opposite sex in ways that cannot be explain…. Kid could become gay or something along those lines

Take care folks…

It is apparently me

Hello!

Good day folks….

I admit it, I have become more of a perfectionist these last days… or so my trusty bath guy tells me.

This was part of our Thursday conversation today, I mean beside how he doesn't get women and why can they just shut up and look pretty… why are they so difficult…blah blah blah… on his defense  you ladies can sometimes be a pain in the buttocks; I mean when a man such as me is tempted to maybe sway and go gay, is because there’s a problem with you guys… the only thing stopping me is mentally seeing 2 bearded guys kiss each other….ouacala! as my Mexican friends would say…

but all of the above apart, the Prima Donna of my bath guy was hissing because I asked him to center the lift sling I use to get out of bed…He remarked that lately I have been a bit more demanding on little things like that…. Oh I’m sorry you f_ing moron, I love to be seated crooked on my chair! What the hell? If asking them to do shit right is a perfectionist, I will gladly and proudly wear that name…obviously, I didn't say anything to him except that it was perhaps my illness doing this, and he agreed adding that as I lose strength I become more demanding because I am no longer in control of anything…let alone my body…f_ing bitch, just shut up and look pretty okay?!

Take care folks…

The bachelorettes

Hello!

Good day people…

Yeah yeah, sue me… it was a gorgeous day out there and I spend it out there all day long... plus I had a meeting with the Mormons al fresco (outside). I had 4 young girls come on over all showing their assets and it was one bigger than the other! I’m talking about their bibles gutter brains, and the winner was the girl from Virginia…that was some impressive assets she had, another book losers; put it back in your pants…geez…and we agreed that Sunday is going to be the day I will visit their church and see what is all about….other than that, it was a pretty slow day… tomorrow I will blog more as the day is going to be rainy… but just a note to let you know I’m alive and kicking….

Take care folks…

Different Universes, different Gods?

Hello!

Remember that multiverse post I told you was going to come your way?...well, hear me out…

I have been reading and seeing TV shows regarding this matter and my personal conclusion is that, anything is possible… but your Universe starts the day you are born and it will end the day you die… make it count people…. 

Maybe one day we will travel as fast, if not faster, as the the speed of light… and maybe there are different dimensions that we cannot see that will finally appear before our eyes, but your reality and mine are here and now… I do believe in other Universes and that we are the creation of a planned accident that has made  other wonderful things out there. I believe that TBB was the results of two Universes colliding and creating a big bang that made all of this possible; what proof do I have? There is a star that seems to be older than the Universe! It was estimated that the Methuselah star was 16 billion years old, making it a paradox since the Universe is only 13.8 billion years. Now there is a new study that has brought down the age of that star to 14.8 billion years old (plus or minus 800 million years, making it fit with the current age of our homeniverse; but being the layman that I am, I personally believe that the star is leftover material from the other Universe that collided with this one; that collision made TBB happened and the rest is history as they say…

Now the following question that I had planned to tackle was the one about “different Universes, different Gods?” well, if you believe in God, then chances are that maybe, maybe not. But you shouldn't worry about it, you will probably never get to meet him, her, it, they, since you are here and not there… but I’m pretty sure that if there was different gods for different Universes, they probably have a commission that our God belongs to; maybe he even is the CEO of the whole group… Wetter you believe or not, religion is just a vehicle to get you there, to the point we call God and atheist call luck…

Take care folks…

PS I was going to go on about the birds and the bees but I just had another planned accident happened to me, I’m getting my door done…I will be able to go out on my own! Yay Universe!

Life in the slow lane

Hello!

Good day folks..

My prayers are with you Boston, I mean hockey is one thing, but terrorism is another… also, I like to stipulate my solidarity with the people of Iran who went through a 7.8 magnitude earthquake yesterday, may God/Allah also help them get through this…

And on other news…

So yesterday I went to your local supermarket to buy some coffee cakes for the night and when going to the cash register to pay a group of teenage girls cut me off to get there first. I obviously didn’t give a hoot but the cashier gave them the evil eye, as well as some other people. Once my turn came, the cashier was all smiles and made a remark about how poor their social skills were and on how if they were her kids and blah blah blah.. I told the cashier not to care, that it was their turn to shine. I told her how I had already went through my turn and now it was someone else’s time to go through theirs….it was nice on her part to be offended on my behalf….maybe next time she can give me stuff for free…

Take care folks…

Tell me why I don’t like Mondays…

Hello!

I’m about to get bathed now by another sexy voice woman and I sure hope that the new neighbors don’t barge in while I’m getting a bath; they already saw me half naked so there’s no telling if they will just drop down the door and provide me with a cheery hello….

I think that they need to chill down… today, for example, I was having my lunch in the kitchen, in my undies, when suddenly they pass in front of my patio door and diverted towards it, they knocked on the door and started waving “hello”!  WTF?! People, take a chill pill!! Everybody in this building knows that when passing in front of the handicapped man’s transparent patio door, you look straight and keep on walking! You having given me 3 salads and some asparagus doesn't make you my new BFF, I hate people; I’m a freaking antisocial person that was curse with a magnetic personality, a great sense of humor and a great smile…they need to take an anti-positivism pill or something, this is getting strange…

Take care folks!

A little math to start the day...

Hello!

Top of the morning to you…

Apparently we’ll be getting an awesome day today, sunny and +13c weather… can’t wait to venture out…

Today I am getting a temp bath person, my regular guy is vacationing…tomorrow I will also get a temp, the girl that does me will also be off…maybe they are having an affair; interesting…nah, my Monday bath guy has a pretty GF, my Tuesday bath girl just looks like Hulk… she could submit me into bath positions I could only dream of…..all of this shit just to say they are off this week… and I am currently waiting…

This morning I already started my day trying to refresh my mind with algebra concepts I had long forgotten… my goal in life is to write up a scientific formula and actually understand it…. Something like:

That would be cool, I could then deepens my understanding of the Universe…..

Hey, I got two visits this week, the first one is from and co-worker and the only person who still visits me and acknowledges my existence and from the Mormons missionaries….and I don’t know why they are comin over, I thought I already gave them my "yes"; staaaalkers..any hoot back to working my brain off…

Take care folks…

Sunday is a thinking day

Hello!

Good day you all…

What a glorious day out there…

Just came back from strolling and philosophizing a bit, okay a lot, I had fun… then my cellphone fell off my an purse and the screen took a hit; argh! There’s nothing more I hate than a broken screen on a phone that still works; now I got to see if there’s some sort of guaranteed like the commercials say there is….stupid man purse…I also ponder on the whole multiverse thing, I don’t know where I stand on this subject. I want to think there are other places out there, but I cannot see them and therefore I'm kinda on the fence when it comes to such topics…I’m pretty fucked up when it comes to things like this and don’t get me started on the possibilities of travelling so fast that you can basically catch up to you before you leave… that avocado on my grilled cheese must have been bad or something… 

I promise to tackle the multiverse topic on a future post; warning it will be a lengthy post…

Take care people….

After stroll posting...

Hello!

Yes a crappy day out there but temperature wise is pretty decent…

Just came back from the great outdoors and it was refreshing; I mean, yes we had that storm but it was more bark than bite. Right now is a balmy +6c, snow never did accumulate and if it did, I missed it. Also, I just presented myself to the new neighbors fom Peru, the guy introduce himself in English (broken a bit) so I immediately spoke to him in Spanish and let him know I was the “mero mero” and that when he was thinking about coming to live in Canada, I was already having a poutine with maple freaking syrup…. That’s how freaking Canadian I am! No, I was polite and told him that the good weather was coming our way and not to despair because of the snow…it’s Canada folks, hockey, weather and beer is all we talk abut….time to do that roasted red pepper soup that I got from General Mills…tell you all about it tomorrow…

Take care folks…

I'll take a Saturday like today anytime

Hello!

Happy weekend people…

It’s a mellow day out there, nothing much to do today… maybe I’ll rent a movie or something…

On happier news, my taxes were done and it seems that I’ll be getting back some money… yay me!! So many plans to do with that much needed cash… I’m talking telescope, a Gopro camera, maybe a Rolex; the sky is the limit…. I also got $2 dollars from the lottery office, so life is looking grand… Other than that, not a thing… maybe I’ll venture out there to breathe some fresh air, buy some food to eat later; right now I am stuffed as my wife made a delicious omelette, with toasts and coffee…can’t believe I hate the whole thing…I’m stuffed…. Well just wanted to share that tidbit of my life where the Universe, a.k.a the government, grants me a well-deserved stay of execution…

Take care folks…

All you need is a push

Hello!

Just finished my chat with the missionaries and it was interesting… I mean today they brought somebody from the populace, meaning a woman who speaks my language, a woman I can relate to, a SHACUILA!! Let me elaborate…

A while back, my daughter and me were watching the TV show “Murray” and he had a woman on this show that was on the big side, black, outspoken and with an attitude.. And she had a cool name! Obviously we had to come up with a better name, so we did!! Now when we see a woman that has an attitude and she's outspoken, we call her Shacuila… So today, the missionaries brought over a Shacuila, a secret weapon that pushed me over the edge. She basically brought sense into this religion thing, stating certain facts that made me click and finally give them my okay into going and visit them next Sunday and who knows, maybe become a Mormon one day… we’ll see… I’m still pretty skeptic but Shacuila said it was okay with them…

Take care folks…

PS Plus you get a present if you join and I love presents…..

Not the same

Hello!

I just realized I have no life!

All of my day is blogging, playing animal crossing, getting baths from sexy ladies and medical visitations here and there.. it is a very slow life for a 45 year old man! I have to live my life through the eyes of others…

For example, my wife is now in charged on filling this building with new tenants and whatever apartment she rents, she gets a monetary compensation.. But what I have noticed is that the previous guy who did this was an Arab gentleman and most of the persons he rented to were from Middle Easter background… now the tables have turned and it appears my wife is starting to fill the building with Latinos… she got her first tenants from Peru all niched into a 3 ½. I wonder what other Spanish speaking people she’s going to get into the building….dam immigrants, said the man born in El Salvador…

Also, once again, my wife and kid are now going to the gym at night; something about getting in shape… their routine is doing Samba or Zumba, and then coming home to bitch about the pain while having a coffee and a donut or something.. I get blamed, obviously, because I bought the donuts knowing full well that they are trying to get in shape and I am sabotaging their attempt…not my fault if I have a perfect body and have to keep it that way… A sphere is the ultimate shape folks, let no one tell you otherwise…phuff six pack, that’s so lame….

Any hoot this is my new life now…

I hate rushing

Hello!

Good day all…

Well weekend is here and it seems we will have a wet one with melting show through out it…

So Mormons are coming this afternoon and I don’t know what will talk about; maybe I’ll bring the BBT into the pic, see what they think of that,,, (Big bang theory=BBT)…we’ll see…

My hand seem to be on the crappy side today, maybe it is this wet weather we are having; currently it is snowing out here and will do so through out the day…and all the snow we will get will melt starting tomorrow.. And that was my morning rush….hopefully my afternoon won’t be as bad…

Take care folks…

E-harmony be afraid..

Hello!

Good day all..

So I went to the CMR to fix my chair yesterday and after did a bit of food shopping; we had ran out of coffee and cheese, items that are part of our family’s food pyramid… along with bread and something sweet to go with that coffee….and I will have to go out again today, as tomorrow hell is breaking lose, bad freaking weather, and I got a visit from that French missionary that wants to convert me…..the power of Christ compels me…..oh yeah…I’m not making fun of her, I am making fun of the whole situation…it’s ummmm… it’s complicated!…leave me alone! I was a lonely child with parental issues; I don’t want to talk about them…

So bath guy did his job and he is starting to bitch about the online dating scene….the poor man’s version of them; he doesn't want to pay so he goes to the local URLs (web sites)… didn't even knew they existed… apparently those that are okay with him run away as soon as they hear he has kids; and those that don’t mind kids, he dumps them for reasons that are valid, to a moron. They are basically  too short, too dumb (coming from Einstein here), too far from here, too independent for him… so my guy is alone but has double his e-fforts (get it?) to find the perfect girl… so don’t say I didn't warn you…

Take care folks..

Narcissistic me...

Hello!

Top of the day to you….

So, all ready to go and ride the small bus so that they can fix my chair, again…

Not much going on round here, apparently today is a fair day, cloudy and sunny at the same time but temperature are holding steady at around +7c… but it’s all downhill from here, apparently there is snow for Friday; SNOW! You can bet your ass that when I come back I will go and stroll a bit since as of tomorrow we are looking at hellish weather… and Friday will be my round two with the Mormons… mind you, I have nothing against them; fact is that I may become one of them my own special way… so far they have been impressed by the way I think; on my understanding of God…aahhh bullocks!  They probably say that to every freaking person… oh well, time to think some more…

Take care folks, enjoy the day…

And God created Carlos...

Hello!

Boxing bell ringing “…Aaaand on this corner, SATAN!”…..

Thank you non believer site

Yup, I am definitely going to hell on the bullet train… they even took the big bible book out to read because I jolted their belief…I mean “evolution”, really?! “Dinosaurs”, for real?! Two out of three didn’t believe on the “evolution” thingy and they didn't believe in “Dinosaurs”… the third lady just said “I heard about that…” but did not elaborate… I was going to be crucified, literally, today for being a scientific pig.. I had to disable the situation with all my diplomatic skills… So we agree to disagree and went on with the meeting…basically it's a “you say potatoes and I say patatos” situation here and I will gladly received them next Friday for round two…..can’t wait to tell them we've gone to the moon…What?! You didn't know either?! And I thought little J's dad was a pain whit his "Jewish number 1" attitude, didn't have the hart to tell him he's going to christian hell...

Take care folks….

PS for the record, Mormons have an “it might” approach to the whole “evolution” thing, it depends which Mormon you are talking to; there are Mormons who are scientists out there, I just got stuck with the three stooges….Maybe I am the Antichrist...

Drop and give me 20

Hello!

Good afternoon folks…sorry for the delay…

I was writing my rap song that I just completed, just got to show it to my nephew… I must say, I still got it…obviously my kids don’t want to hear it because it’s in French…and they don’t like French…funny, they speak it okay and it has helped them and their mother so I don’t get it….any hoot…

So my girls are off to the gym this afternoon, it is part of the bday gifts of my oldest; she gotten the gym and the Coach sunglasses….. so of to the lady gym it is and it is not the gym called “Curves” which is another women’s gym, apparently this one is better…Mormons time…

Take care folks…

Holding my ground

Hello!

What a glorious afternoon, I spent the day outside taking the sun and reflecting on what I’m going to do with my millions….of dreams… so far I’m a rapper, a philosopher, a philanthropist and a widower… that’s my dreams, get your own…

So I went to my local shopping mall to get some grub for today, so today is pizza night… perhaps with a salad and I got chocolatine for later on…. Hey, I tackle a girl today; actually it was her that was rushing with her friends and wham! She got all 600 pounds of me on her face, stopped her in her tracks….i told her to look where she was going…she just shook it off and continued rushing in her path…you got served lady…

Take care folks…

Bath talk with a poor man

Hello!

Good day to you all…

Finished my bath, gonna have some food and then I’ll step outside for a stroll…

I was going over with my bath guy about my outing this weekend… I know I know, here we go again; but for the record, it is a beautiful shopping center and if I was to compare it with any other, it reminds me of the Grove in L.A. Yeah, the open concept and the fancy places that I have never seen here… so my guy concurs with me that this the place to be!... if you have money…. We started comparing notes and he was outraged by the forty dollars on hot chocolate I had spent, he told me stories of his shopping sprees he has had in this place and how once, he had had gone over budget and blown two hundred dollars; I didn't have the hart to tell him that I had spent at least 3 times that money in a space of 2 hours… all in all we came to the conclusion that this is a rich  men’s plaza and if you go here is either because you have it or you found a  thousand dollars somewhere….I guess I found a thousand dollars somewhere cause I’m not going back until I’m rich…or become a rich guy by marrying into money, hey it could happen…

Take care folks…

The new me, for now...

Hello!

Tell me they're not beautiful 

So yesterday when I went to that chick mall, I decided to have a “when in Rome..” moment. You see while my troops were buying hot chocolate at “Juliette et Chocolat”, I decided to scout the premises for some fancy sunglasses store and I found a place: “Sunglass Hut”… and I was bad, real bad; I probably won’t eat this week but it was worth it… I got myself some Revos (polarized) sunglasses and I look cool. The model is called Descend, I was impressed by them, then again I get impressed by anything… still ogling at the morning sun….

Take care folks…

PS since they had a special,  got my kid some Coach sunglasses....oight as they say...

On the edge of greatness

Hello!

Sunday morning under the rain, still recuperating from yesterday’s trip to the fancy mall…it was a rush… Now today, different day, rainy, quiet day writing a rap song in French! I made a bet with my kid and wife that I could write one, and so far I like what I have come up with…but the kicker? I made one in English and Spanish also!! Now to get my nephew involved, he knows people that know how to rap… So maybe I’ll be the next fat rapper….cool…

Keep it real folks…

Quartier 10-30

Hello!

Just came back from a hip shopping mall in the area, it was cool!! I went to so many stores and bought so much shit is not even funny… I got some cool sun glasses, bought some hip plates, had a super-hot chocolate from a hip coco place…and the fudge?... exquisite…It was awesome, but coming back wads a pain in the ass, lots of traffic, lots! it took me an hour to get back home…. But I’m back, hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!

Take care folks!

There goes my fun time

Hello!

Wooow! You learn something new every day and in this case is a -1 for the Mormons….

You see, I had a meeting today with the sister missionaries, that’s what they call themselves, and I just got off the phone with one of them asking if I could help them out… I told her that if I could, I would happily do it… I know, very Christian of me….. So I asked her what was the problem to see what I could do aaand… She told me they were only 2 girls and since I’m a man, they required a third person… ?!?!?WTF!!!.... I thought that it was only the Muslim fate that had an issue with women, apparently the Mormons do too… Well I was silently shocked and agree to meet them next Tuesday, but the door that they had opened seems to be closing now… I don’t like it when either sex is look down upon, I have to study more their reasons why they need 3 women for 1 man… mind you, if this was a porno flick, I would be all over the idea, specially if I was the main character, but it isn't and therefore I am against it….

Take care folks

PS I just have to wait now for a tech to come look at my chair…

My beef with God

Hello!

Good day folks…

So, I was seeing a cop show yesterday and they made a bust where they got a shitload of narco-dollars and tons of drugs…. Then it got me thinking: Life has not been fair to me!... hear me out…

Just keep walking...

God send me to this world as a vanilla flavor putz… here I am, too chicken to be a drug cartel tsar, and heaven knows I got the name, and I am not a first responder cup in a drug task force! AND this is where the money is!! The first one is obvious: you are the ruthless “gordo” everyone talks about, making billions of dollars selling drugs; and the other, well let’s just say that I was to bust a drug house where there is dope and hundreds of bills, I would nip some for little old me… I would be the only cop with a Ferrari in the police force. Instead God sent me to sit on a wheelchair and watch time go by slowly but surely….bouhouhou..

Take care folks 

Just saying...

Hello!

Why the F does men have beards?!

When I was able to shave myself, it was no problem. Now, now I can count the number of people who I know will shave me properly without me losing my face; literally!... I had a new guy and I think there was a teary moment for a second there while Hitler was shaving my right cheek…It was painful folks…

I think this weekend is going to be another movie weekend; you know the usual shopping, eating, movie type of day… I want to see the one where the terrorist take over the white house but my youngest wants to see The Oz flick…I heard that it’s 3 hours long and on the boring side… I hope she changes her mind, although I love the wicked witch of the West…..

And if you are ever in Montreal and would like to help a little girl click here---> Jayden

Take care folks…

Pimping my dogther..

Hello!

May the force be with you…

So, this week I got a new desk…almost new… It was a gift from the parents of the boyfriend of one of my daughters. The name of the guy is Toby and there isn't one day when they don’t see each other, I feel like a pimp profiting from that bitch’s work…it’s okay, don’t get infuriated, that bitch is my dog Olivia.. my wife always takes her to play with him and  this week they had a desk to give away, so I said bring it on! My current desk still stands, but I think it all has to do by the fact that it is crammed into a space where it’s being held (push) together on each side by a cabinet and my medical drawers… The new desk looks more solid and it is more compact, it will leave some wiggly room so that we can fill that space with more crap…look at the pictures, I think my dog is worth that desk…Hammer (cat), you better start paying off soon too...

Before (now)

After (future)

Take care folks…

I swear I saw a penguin...

Hello!

Sooo WTF?!!

I stepped out with my youngest to buy stuff for their lunch boxes and it’s cold as hell!! We are in spring, no? well it feels like Antarctica came to town, -11c wind chill factor, the wind is blowing the F out of the trees, there’s no sun to warm you up; and to top it all off, my “better” half lost, sorry misplaced, my freaking winter gloves… and hers too… if her head was a move/remove item, she would probably lose that also!... so you had a big fat biker guy, on a wheelchair, wearing pink and purple girl mittens… Who’s gonna be afraid of me now?!...

When we got to te supermarket, it was another hectic shopping spree with my youngest..;. she was in a “good” mood… everything that was right was wrong for her, she must have started taking bitch pills because she was in one of her moods… at the end, she slam the bag of milk on the cashier’s counter and milk started to spill onto the motor belt that drags the food to the cashier; since I hadn't paid it yet we were able to get another bag free of charge…thank God  it wasn't eggs, that would have been fun once we got home…

Take care folks…

The dying brain

Hello!

Good April people….

So, I’m getting old and with age I am starting to forget stuff that I always thought was important….Solution? Start working on your brain to postpone cerebral crap as long as possible…. This means start writing again, start exercising the brain through social or brain games and… start taking supplements like Omega-3!... Good plan! Except that, Omega-3 seems to be having contrary effects on me… let me tell you a couple of stories of a decaying brain…

The fridge

So yeah, I wouldn't think much of this one if it had only happened once, but several times?! No, this is not normal and though it is true that when you refrigerate foods they last longer, I don’t think that sticking papers and cell phones will make them last longer; or so I've been told by my daughters of whom I have requested they put away such items in the fridge

The shaving session gone haywire

Since it was Easter I didn't get my usual bath and shaving yesterday, so at the end of the day I was extra dirty and with a 5 o’clock shadow that probably said 8PM, so I decided to shave before my Thursday bath guy, I take it it would have been extremely painful if I didn't take action… I told my daughter to switch the blade so that it would be a smooth operation… She put everything on the table: shaving gel, water bowl, towel…everything! After a while I told my kid to throw away the dam blade because it hurt when I shaved.. she looked at me and made the remark that I was shaving without shaving cream and perhaps it was the reason why it was painful. Seriously?!... …. I really wish that they would listen sometimes, I mean… I know what I’m doing, I think….

Take care folks..